


Who Twisted His Stars Into Shadows

by 7thChevronLocked, epochh



Category: Original Work
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alex is alive!, Anesthesia, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Ely x Alex, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Fainting, Fao x Ely, Fao x Henri, Forced Plastic Surgery, Hospitals, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Ketamine, Low Blood Pressure, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Past Child Abuse, Physical Abuse, Proceed with caution, Screwy Hip Replacements, Seizure Alert Dog, Seizures, Service Dogs, Surgery, These tags aren't fucking about, but like, but still there, car crash, happy ending I promise, legally, only referenced, past death of a parent, previous brain injury, twice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 04:52:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 48
Words: 97,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19077862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7thChevronLocked/pseuds/7thChevronLocked, https://archiveofourown.org/users/epochh/pseuds/epochh
Summary: Vulnerable from a childhood of abuse, Fao thinks he's found the ideal man. Tall, dark, and incredibly handsome, Henri has buckets of charisma and a successful career in plastic surgery. But he's not all he seems. Over the four years they're together, things get worse and worse for Fao. Control, physical abuse, emotional manipulation... Henri knows exactly what he's doing to totally break Fao. The helicopter crash ending Fao's Army career is a catalyst, and things go from bad to worse.What Henri doesn't count on is the strength that comes from friendship.





	1. Chapter 1

Fao was late home. He knew he was, but he’d not been able to avoid it. He’d been stuck in a surgery that went way overtime, he could hardly just leave. Overtime was expected, it was hardly the first time and it wouldn’t be the last. But he was dreading getting home, and as he pulled into the drive he felt sick. He knew his boyfriend would be angry, but he just hoped he wasn't too angry. They all had overtime to do, he'd understand, right?

So he dug his keys out of his pocket and let himself into the house, practically holding his breath as he stepped inside. 

"Where the fuck have you been?!" Was the greeting he got, his boyfriend waiting at the end of the hall. 

"I-I had overtime." Fao stuttered, looking down at his feet. "I'm sorry, I would have called, b-but it was crazy busy." 

"That's just not good enough." Henri snapped. "I try to make our evening nice and cook you dinner, but you turn up late and now it's ruined. You disgust me. I bet you've been with someone else, haven't you? You dirty little slut. God knows how you found someone else, you know I'm the only one who'll love you."

"Henri, that's ridiculous. I'm not seeing anyone else, I love you." He whined. "Please, I was at work."

“Like hell you were. Who were you fucking, eh? Some whore from work, that nurse that you keep flirting with?”

“No! I was working, I swear.”

Henri strode closer, grabbing his boyfriend’s chin. “You weren’t. You know I hate it when you lie."

"I'm not lying!" He protested. "A-ask anyone, I was in t-theatre."

Furious, Henri punched him in the stomach. “Stop lying!” He yelled, spittle flying.

He doubled over, crying out. "Please." He whimpered, clutching his stomach. "I've not done a-anything wrong!"

“Shut up! You always ruin everything!”

"I'm s-sorry. Please, let m-me fix it."

“How the hell are you going to fix it?” He replied, punching him again. 

He cried out. "I'll c-cook and tidy." He said hoarsely. "G-get you a drink, whatever you want."

“You fucking better.” He said, letting him go. “Get in that fucking kitchen.”

He nodded and rushed off to the kitchen as quickly as he could. He had to spend a couple of minutes leaning against the counter trying to get his breath back and make the pain stop before he could start cooking. But he made a nice meal and made sure the kitchen was spotless before he emerged, handing his boyfriend a plate of food and a glass of his favourite wine. 

"I'm s-sorry for ruining the evening."

“You’re starting to redeem yourself.” Henri replied, almost bored.

“Anything.” He murmured. “I’ll do anything. ‘m sorry.”

“Good. I think, after we’ve eaten, you better show your appreciation.”

“Of course.” 

“Put your mouth to a better use than lying.”

He nodded quickly. “Yeah. Anything for you.”

Henri offered him a smile. “You know I hate telling you off.”

He nodded again. “Sorry I upset you.”

“Thank you for apologising. Give me a kiss.”

Fao forced a smile and kissed him, making a noise. “D-do you want me to do anything else?”

“Finish eating first. Then you can suck my cock.”

He nodded, finishing his food, though he wasn’t hungry. “M-more wine?”

“Mmm, please.”

He got up and went to retrieve the bottle, pouring Henri another glass, but not one for himself. Henri hated it when he got drunk.

Henri hummed, holding his glass out while it was filled again. Once Fao was done, he patted his thigh. "Come here, my love. Come sit on my lap."

Fao sat, not fully relaxing against his boyfriend. But he leaned against him and kissed his neck. Tomorrow he would be on time and everything would be fine.

Henri hummed, the sound vibrating in his throat like a cat's purr. His arm circled his boyfriend's waist and he slid his fingers under his shirt, rubbing them across his skin.

"I love you, you know that." He said, and his voice would have been soft if not for the hint of hardness there, the hint of scorn.

"I love you too. I'm really sorry for what I did, I won't be late home again."

"Mmm, good." He said, putting his wine glass down and lifting his fingers to his chin, brushing over the stubble. "I get worried about you when you don't tell me where you are."

"I know. I really wanted to call."

"I'm sure you did." He said, rolling his hips upwards against Fao's arse.

Fao whimpered. "Didn't want you to worry."

"I'll always worry about you." He said, hand slipping from his waist to the button on his jeans.

"Because you love me."

"I do. I love you so very much." He undid the button neatly, pushing his hand into Fao's boxers.

Fao whimpered again. He was tired and he'd rather not have his boyfriend in his boxers, but he didn't have a choice. Henri would just get angry and things would be worse. 

His fingers closed around his cock. "You're going to get on your knees for me, and suck my cock. Then, I'll let you cum, and we can go to bed. How does that sound?"

He nodded. "Sounds good. I wanna suck your cock."

"Yeah? Been thinking about it all day?"

"Yeah." He lied. "I wanna make you happy."

"I know you do. Go on, get on your knees."

Fao did as he was told, sinking to his knees, looking up at his boyfriend. 

He certainly made Henri very happy, and Henri had him sit on his lap as he brought him to climax. Sated, they went upstairs and to bed, where Henri draped himself around his boyfriend, kissing at his neck and apologising. They went into work the next morning together, and he left Fao to get changed as he headed upstairs for his own work.


	2. Chapter 2

Ely was already in the locker room when Fao entered, getting changed into scrubs. She looked around at the door, smiling softly.

"Morning. Get home okay last night?"

He flashed Ely a smile as he reached his own locker, setting his stuff down and trying not to groan. "Yeah, fine. Bit late, but alright."

"I hope we don't have another late finish like that. I'm gonna go check on Miss Buxton before I get started properly."

"God, me too. I hate finishing late." He murmured. "She's on my list for rounds today, I should get there at some point." He told her, grabbing a scrub shirt before pulling his own off, aware of the bruise blooming on his stomach.

She caught sight of it. Over the last few months, she'd noticed more and more, but hadn't spoken up yet. She hadn't even told her girlfriend, Alex - she had once been with Fao, when they were both in the army. Perhaps she should. For now, Ely was content to handle it herself.

"How've you done that?"

"Mmm, what?" He asked, playing dumb. He tugged his scrub top down and unbuttoned his jeans, sitting down to slip them off. 

"That bruise by your ribs. It looks painful."

"Oh, that? I smacked into the dining room table the other night." He lied easily. 

"Oh, okay." She replied. She had a feeling it wasn't - Henri always seemed very pushy with him. But she had no proof, and Fao wouldn't be happy if she insinuated that he was being abused. "I'll see you later, yeah?"

He smiled. "Yeah, see you later." He said lightly.

She patted him on the shoulder as she left; no doubt, they'd see each other at lunch, if not before.

And she did see him before. It wasn't long before the morning rush hour hit, and with rush hour came idiots running late for work and causing accidents. She'd been called down into resus for a patient who had been in a vehicle collision, and he was in a pretty bad shape.

"Mr Dowling, can you hear me?" She asked, and received a groan in reply. "That's good, well done. Where does it hurt?"

"M-my chest." He croaked, his words catching in his throat. She hummed, and made sure he had no allergies before she gave him some morphine to take the edge off. Where was the surgeon? He should have been here already. 

Fao was having a hard time rushing. He was sore and tired, and when his pager went he groaned. So he had to pelt down to resus, and by the time he got there he was in agony. But he was there, and he could start his assessment. Judging from the handover, they'd be in theatre soon. 

Ely looked up to see him, and finished with the dose of analgesic. "Nice to see you. He's in a bad shape."

He nodded, still breathless. "We'll get to CT, then."

"Did you all hear that?" She barked at the team. "CT, now!"

Fao followed the team up, leaning against the wall whilst they waited for the scan. 

She joined him, watching the scanner do it's work. "Feeling alright? You looked out of breath."

"Running down to resus, y'know. Tiring."

"Yeah, I do." She agreed, though he was well known to keep up his fitness. He shouldn't have been out of breath - she'd expect it from her, but not him.

"I'm fine now."

"Mmm, okay."

He flicked some hair from his face, glancing over at the patient. "I reckon we're gonna need to get straight up to theatre after this."

"I'm expecting that, and I've paged my team to have everything ready."

"Great. Let's just hope there's a theatre available."

"I'm sure there will be." She replied. "Though his face is pretty smashed. Do you wanna page someone?"

He really, really didn't. Work was the one place he didn't have Henri micromanaging him. But he simply nodded. "Yeah, we can page for a plastics consult."

"Better to have it now than let it heal and have to rebreak it." She said softly. Fingers crossed, it would be anyone but Henri. She had no idea what Fao saw in him, because the taller man gave her the creeps. He was always eyeing the nurses up, and had even groped her once before she slapped him. Alex had seen him too, and had threatened to feed him his own balls.

"Definitely. I'll sort it." He murmured, paging whoever was on call for plastics whilst they waited. 

She hummed as the scan finished. "You seem.... quiet."

"Ah, just tired."

She couldn't help but wink at him, a habit she'd picked up from Alex. "Fun night?"

"Oh, you bet." He said with a laugh that was half-real. 

"Wish I'd had a fun night. Alex was knackered from the gym and wouldn't even indulge me." She whined.

"Ah, you gotta tell her you're horny before she hits the gym. Then she gets all pumped up and will go all night."

She laughed. "I'll try that. I love it when she's all hot and sweaty."

"Yeah, you learn how to get her after a while."

"I thought I'd have known by now." She replied. "But I'll try it tonight. She's fucking amazing."

He laughed. "She is. She knows it, too."

"I know she knows it. I make sure to tell her all the time to boost her ego."

"Like she needs the ego boost."

"Of course she does."

He rolled his eyes. "She could survive without it. Let's get to theatre, plastics can join us there."

She nodded, immediately reverting back into work mode. "I'll see you in there, no doubt I'll have him under quickly. Go scrub in."

"See you there." He replied, disappearing off. With a theatre sorted that was where he headed and started to scrub in. He knew Ely and her team wouldn't be long, and his wouldn't be either. He just hoped Henri wouldn't turn up. He liked his theatre to be his own space. 

Ely got the patient under as quickly as she could, and was soon in the theatre, sat in her familiar seat and keeping an eye on the stats. She was about to start a conversation going when the door slid open and their plastic consult joined them, shoving his hands into gloves.

Unfortunately, it was Henri. Ely swore under her breath.

"You paged?" He asked, eyes setting on his boyfriend.

Fao tried to remain neutral, humming and looking over at his boyfriend. "Yeah. Patient was involved in a collision this morning, extensive injuries which is what I'm treating now. Suffered pretty severe facial injuries, I'd like you to have a look with regards to treatment."

Henri took a moment before he walked over, and it was less than a minute before he spoke. 

“I’ll have to operate,” he said, and pointed at one of the milling nurses, “you, scrub in. I’ll need you to hand me what I ask for.”

Fao sighed. "Love, don't you have your own team? I need my circulating nurses."

“There isn’t time. I’m sure you can do without one.”

"Surely you'd prefer your own team who know how you operate?"

“I would, but this will do.” He wanted nothing more than to tell him off for the backchat, but not here. Later would do. Ely, meanwhile, had noticed how tense her friend had become. He wasn’t looking at his partner, and there was a telltale stiffness in his shoulders. 

“If time is so crucial, Dr Lécuyer, I suggest you get a move on.” She said, glaring at him. 

Fao bit his lip under his mask and carried on working. Ely could get away with talk like that, Fao had been pushing it already with what he'd said. He had no choice but to let Henri boss his nurses about. Henri, however, just huffed and got to work setting everything up the way he needed it, muttering under his breath as he did so. 

It was a long surgery, and the patient struggled under the anaesthetic. She had to see to them once the surgeons had left, and she sent Fao a look of apology and hope. Surely he’d be fine, Henri wouldn’t try anything here. 

As soon as they were alone in the scrub room, Henri turned to him. 

“How dare you talk back to me like that!” He hissed. 

Fao recoiled. "I-I'm sorry." He got out, not able to look him in the eye. 

“You know better than to question me.” He said, but didn’t get to say anything else because Ely came in. 

“Fao, can I borrow you for something?”

Fao was glad of the interruption. Henri, however, looked less than impressed. 

"We're busy, Lozier!"

"Is it about the patient?" Fao asked, ignoring his boyfriend. 

She nodded. “Yeah, it is.”

He shot a glance at his boyfriend, then looked back at Ely. "If it's the patient, then by all means. Catch you later, babe." He said to Henri, kissing him on the cheek before he left. 

She led him away, but it wasn’t to the patient - it was to a supply closet down the corridor, and once inside she turned to him. 

“Does he hit you?”

"What the fuck, Ely?! You drag me here to ask me that? I thought you had a patient concern! I was in the middle of a conversation!" He snapped. "Of course he doesn't fucking hit me!"

She crossed her arms over her chest. “I saw how you tensed up. You’re scared of him. Please, Fao, you don’t have to live like that.”

"Oh, please, I'm not scared of him. I love him."

“You’re clearly not going to admit it.” She replied. “But I’ve noticed the bruises, how you’re sore, and that you don’t look at him. I wish you’d be honest with me.”

"There's nothing to admit, for crying out loud." He snapped. "I'm sore and I get bruises first of all because I'm an idiot and I'm forever walking into stuff, but also because I've got a half decent sex life. Both of us like it rough and sometimes bruises happen. Stop making me out to be some damsel in distress. I'm fine."

“Fine.” She said. “Maybe I’m seeing things. I better be wrong.” It was a feeling in her gut, and she didn’t like it. Fao wasn’t even that clumsy. Alex had known him long before her. She’d speak to her girlfriend tonight. 

"You are wrong. Now, is there a patient you want me to see, or can I go back to doing my job?"

“You can go back. I’ll see you at lunch.”

"Yeah, whatever." Fao said, storming out of the room. 

She rubbed her hand over her face. She didn’t believe him for a second, but he was stubborn. She didn’t want him to get hurt, but it wasn’t like she could break them up. They’d been together years, twice as long as her and Alex. What was there to do except look out for him, and hope nothing went sour?


	3. Chapter 3

At lunch, Ely was pressed up to Alex’s side, stealing morsels from her tub of food, and kissing her cheek when she could. It wasn’t long before Fao joined them, and then Henri. She swallowed her disgust. 

“We were thinking about going for a drink after work,” she started, “if you want to join us.”

Fao knew the rules. "Oh, uh, I think we're busy-" 

He was interrupted by his boyfriend, patting his thigh. "We can reschedule. We'd love to grab a drink with you, yeah babe?"

"Yeah, a drink sounds fun."

Ely smiled. “Great. Meet in the locker room, and hope none of us get overtime?”

"I'll be fine." Henri replied. "Clinic all afternoon." 

Fao huffed. "I hope I'll be fine, I'm trying to avoid overtime at the moment."

“Aren’t we all.” Alex quipped, playing with Ely’s hair. 

"Mmm, Henri definitely picked the best specialty." Fao said, kissing his boyfriend's cheek.

Ely could have gagged at the sight. Instead, she pressed closer to her girlfriend. “There’s nothing wrong with trauma. Keeps us on our toes.” They did real work, instead of sucking off fat and adding breast implants to perfectly attractive women. 

"Well, it hardly requires the same level of skill as plastics." Henri replied. "Trauma's the same shit every time. I've seen Fao operate enough to know how heavy handed it is. Anyone can do a laparotomy. Even you, Lozier."

Fao gritted his teeth but didn't say anything. They'd had this argument plenty of times and he knew it wouldn't be the last time. 

“Are you trying to imply that anaesthetics is crude and easy?”

"Well, it's not as hard as a delicate rhinoplasty, is it?"

She rolled her eyes. “I’d like to see you do it. God knows you can’t even count the scalpels you’ve used.”

"I could do it easily!" He retorted. "And why would I need to count? That's what I have nurses for, whilst I do the hard work." 

Fao sighed, kissing Henri's cheek again. "C'mon, babe. Plastics is really hard, I'd never be able to do what you do. Just leave it, please?"

“For you.” He replied. Ely huffed, letting Alex continue playing with her hair to soothe her. 

“So,” Alex said, breaking the silence, “Albie’s, or somewhere else?”

"Oh, spare me from that dump." Henri said dramatically. "We should go somewhere more upmarket."

“Only if you’re paying.” She replied. 

"Can't afford it? Oh, I forget you're NHS only. You should try the private sector, you'll make far more. You could come and work for me at my private practice. Easy procedures, you could read the whole time."

“I’d rather not.” Ely said. 

"Oh, as if you don't want to earn more."

“I’m perfectly happy here.” She said. 

"Well, you're really missing out." He grumbled. "You'd love working for me."

“You’re not going to convince me.”

"Your loss. I wish I could get Fao here working private, but there's just no scope for his specialty and he won't change, bless him."

Ely tried not to roll her eyes, stealing some more of her girlfriend’s food. “He’s good at what he does.”

"Ah, but is he?" Henri questioned. Fao stiffened next to him, eating his food and trying to ignore hours boyfriend. For once, he prayed his pager would go off. 

“Of course he is. You shouldn’t try to tear him down.” She said, and Alex spoke up too. 

“I’ve known him for a lot longer than you. There’s no one better at what we do, no matter how much he says I am. You’re lucky to have him.”

Fao stood up and kissed his boyfriend. "Excuse me, I'm going to the bathroom and then back to work." He told them, then grabbed his stuff and left, worried about what Henri might do. 

Henri curled his lip. “I know that, you bitch.”

“Then act like it!” Alex said. “You think I can’t see he’s scared of you?”

"Hardly! He just respects me, just as I respect him."

“You try to stamp him down.”

"I'm just being realistic, is all.”

Alex stood. “You hurt him, and I’ll make you wish you’d never been born.”

"Calm down. There's no need to get all upset about something you don't understand. I'd never dream of hurting Fao, I love him."

Ely took Alex’s hand. “Sit back down,” she urged, “let’s enjoy our dinner before one of us gets paged.”

Alex sat, but glared at Henri, finishing her lunch. Henri left not long after, saying something about having to change for clinic. 

They had a none eventful day after that, and neither Ely or Alex ended up having to stay. They both got changed, and settled in to wait for their friends - they’d invited Ollie too, who had just arrived. 

Fao didn't finish much after the end of his shift, and met Henri at the clinic so they could walk up together. Once they both arrived at the locker room Fao started to get changed, back to his friends so they wouldn't see the bruises. 

Ely was leaning against Alex again, their fingers entwined. “Where are we going, then?”

"I know a place." Henri said, though his eyes were on Fao. "It's not far."

“You can lead.” Alex said, adjusting Ely’s necklace. 

"Fao can drive us there." 

Ely looked up. “Designated driver?”

Henri tossed Fao his keys, and Fao just about managed to catch them. "Fao doesn't mind. He's trying to cut down on drinking anyway."

“I didn’t know that.” Alex mused, patting Ely on the thigh and standing up. 

"Did some daft stuff." Fao mumbled. 

She hummed, pulling her girl up and wrapping an arm around her waist. "Lead the way, then."

Henri smiled, and when Fao was ready they headed out, all piling into Henri’s car. Fao drove to the bar, finding somewhere to park, and then they headed inside. Fao ordered for himself and his boyfriend, and paid too. It was his only proper drink, he didn’t mind paying.

Alex ordered for her and Ely, and bought Ollie a drink too, after some insistence. They found a cosy seat in the corner, with two sofas and enough room for them all. Not that it mattered, because Ely sat in her girlfriend's lap, sipping on her gin and lemonade delicately.

Fao sipped his one whiskey, enjoying it before he had to move to soft drinks. He was pressed up against Henri, his arm around his waist. He felt a little trapped, but settled against him, trying to act normal. No doubt, tonight when Henri was drunk Fao would be forced into bed and fucked whether he wanted it or not. He supposed he should get in the mood to want it. It would make life easier. So he kissed at his boyfriend’s neck and flirted with him, in an attempt to relax into things. He was tired and just wanted to go to bed.

They chattered mindlessly, and Ely had to admit that the drunker Henri got, the easier it seemed to get along with him. Ollie wandered off at some point, and when she went to the bar to get a second drink, she found him flirting with the bartender. Leaving him at it, she returned and passed Alex her brandy - Alex could hold her alcohol remarkably well, whereas Ely was hopeless, so this would be her last one of the night. The hours ticked by, and she whispered to Alex that she was going to pop outside for some fresh air.

It was dark outside, as she leaned against the wall. It was cast in shadows, almost an alleyway between this building and the next.

Henri slipped outside too, following Ely out. It left Fao with Alex, which he’d never normally do, but Fao was sober and knew the consequences of infidelity. He appeared next to Ely, humming. 

“Enjoying yourself?”

She looked up. "Yeah. Just getting some fresh air."

“Does your girlfriend keep you sated?” He purred. “Bet she can’t, not without a cock.”

Ely frowned. "I'm perfectly happy with her."

“Are you sure?” He asked, moving closer to her.

"Of course I'm sure!"

“Don’t want to try something different? I’m sure you’re not gay.” He replied, reaching out to skim his hand over her thigh.

She slapped at his hand. "No, I'm not, I'm bi. Not that it's any of your business."

“Oh, come on. Don’t you miss a real man?”

"Hardly."

He grinned, and moved to stand in front of her, arms keeping her penned in. “I know you miss it really.”

"No, I don't." She said, raising her chin. But there was fear in her eyes that she desperately tried to push down. Henri was clearly drunk as a fart, the smell of alcohol rolled off of him in waves, it made her feel sick.

“Yes you do. I’ll show you a good time.” He purred, moving closer.

She tried to push him away. "No!"

"Ah, ah, none of that." He said, grabbing her waist as he pushed her skirt up and shoved her underwear aside, fingers skimming over her cunt.

She pushed again, a scream rising up in her throat. But it didn't get a chance to leave her lips - a large group of friends exited the pub loudly, and she knew they weren't quite in the shadows. They could be seen.

Seeing the group, Henri hastily pulled away from her. He slipped back inside, settling next to his boyfriend again, a hand on his cock.

Ely took longer to come back in. She was shaking, and she couldn't help but bend over to bring up what she'd drunk. With her head spinning, she wiped her mouth and detoured to the bar first, downing a glass of water to get rid of the taste before she joined her friends again. But she couldn't look at Henri, she couldn't do anything but press up against Alex and pretend she was alright.

Fao was too distracted by his boyfriend, who was stupid drunk and very touchy-feely. He just sipped his coke and pretended to enjoy it.

It was Alex who spoke up. "Maybe you two should go home." She told them, her voice hard.

Fao frowned. “You guys don’t want a lift? I don’t mind driving everyone.”

Ely froze against Alex, who shook her head. "We'll get a taxi. Henri can barely keep his hands to himself."

“Taxis are expensive, I really don’t mind.”

"No, go on. I've got to finish this and I don't want to see Henri strip you down."

“Can’t I at least give you some money to cover it, ‘Lex?”

She sighed. "Fine. I know I can't argue with you."

He grinned, and dug about in his pocket to take out his wallet and hand her some money. “There. You definitely can’t argue.” He said, kissing Henri again. “C’mon, let’s go.”

Henri hummed, standing up and swaying when he did so. But he didn't say anything, just shot Ely a cold glare no one else saw and dragged his boyfriend out of the building.

Fao wrapped his arm around his boyfriend and they headed out to the car. Of course he was piss drunk, he always was. If Fao was lucky, maybe Henri would pass out before he tried to fuck him. That would be a bonus.

They went home, and unfortunately for Fao, Henri managed to stay conscious long enough to push him down and get himself off - he last no longer than a couple of minutes, and then rolled away to sleep. Meanwhile, Alex took Ely home, and it was once they were in bed, cuddled together, that she spoke.

"Are you okay?" The taller blonde asked.

"Yeah." Ely lied.

“Something’s up, you’re quiet.” Alex murmured.

"Just tired."

“There’s something else, honey. What is it?”

She sighed, pressing closer and closing her eyes. "Henri..... he tried to rape me." She said quietly.

"He what?!"

"When I went outside." She whispered.

"Oh, babe. That's horrendous. I'll cut his cock off!"

Ely shook her head. "Don't. I just want to forget it."

"What he did isn't okay, Ely."

"I know." She replied, reaching out to embrace her lover. "But you know he'll deny it."

“That doesn’t make it any better. Does Fao know?”

"No. We had an.... argument, earlier."

“An argument? What about?”

Ely shrugged. "I told him I thought Henri was abusing him."

“And I’m guessing he didn’t react too well?”

"Yeah. Told me to stop being silly, that he's just clumsy and they have rough sex." She said, pressing back up to her. "I don't believe him."

“Well, he’s always liked sex rough.” Alex mused.

"He's not clumsy, though." Ely pointed out. "And Henri was our plastics consult today - I've never seen him stiffen up like that."

“He can be a bit clumsy, but not crazily so. But I have no idea about what he's like around Henri."

Ely sighed again. "I'm just worried about him, y'know? He's a good friend."

"I know. I'm worried, too. I've seen the bruises."

"I wish he'd just talk to us."

"You know he won't."

"He's bloody stubborn." Ely agreed.

"He is. I'm honestly really worried about him. He doesn't deserve this, he's been through enough."

Ely closed her eyes. "But he won't admit it. He was really angry with me, 'Lex, I'm surprised he even wanted to come out."

"He went to decline." Alex pointed out. "And he had one drink. You have to admit that's odd."

"I haven't really known him like you have. Big drinker?"

"He can almost drink me under the table."

She frowned. "Then it is weird."

"Maybe he's just trying to cut down. God knows it's bad to drink to excess."

"Maybe. He is a doctor, after all."

"So are we." Alex murmured. "I know we're worried but until he comes to us there's nothing we can do, we can't force him to talk to us. I'm just glad you're okay, frankly."

Ely leaned up to kiss her girlfriend's jawline. "I'm fine. He only managed to lift my skirt before a group came out of the door and he ran."

"What a cunt." She grumbled. "I'll talk to Fao about it. He needs to know."

"Okay."

Alex kissed the top of her head. "Love you."

"I love you too."

"Let's sleep. Things will look better in the morning."

Ely closed her eyes. "I really hope so."

"They always do." Alex murmured. "Goodnight."


	4. Chapter 4

All of them had the next few days off, just because of the way the rotas worked. Henri and Fao had made plans to go out one evening, and Fao emerged from the shower with his towel around his waist, sitting down on the bed to sort his hair out. 

Henri was already half dressed, adjusting his shirt collar in the mirror when he saw his partner exit the bathroom. He tutted, eyes on his back.

"You should get those scars seen to, they're ugly."

"They're just on my back, it's not like anyone sees them." He said quietly. 

"I see them."

"What can I even do about them?" He asked, hesitantly.

Henri scoffed. "Scar revision surgery, obviously. They won't disappear, but it'll help. You can have it done at my clinic."

"That's so risky. It could make it worse. They're not that bad."

Henri turned to him, crossing his arms over his chest. "They are, don't argue back. You could do with a rhinoplasty, too.”

“What if it makes things worse? Then they’d be uglier.” Fao asked quietly, before looking up at his boyfriend. “A nose job?! There’s nothing wrong with my nose!”

"It's crooked. I know you broke it in uni, and it's not too late to fix it.”

“I’ve never had an issue with it…”

"It's hardly a surgery. I'll even do it myself.”

“You can’t do it yourself!”

He stalked closer. "Why not? Don't you trust me?”

“Of course I trust you, honey, but we’ve been together for nearly four years. There’s no way you’d be allowed to do it. Just like I’d never be allowed to do anything if you got hurt, God forbid.”

"I could do it at my clinic, who would stop me?" He replied a little angrily.

"Uh, the rest of the staff and theatre team? It's a conflict of interest."

"They wouldn't stop me." He said, and let his face soften. "And then I can make sure you're looked after."

"I don't know, Henri... It's a big thing."

"You trust me. You know I'd take care of you." He reasoned, almost cooing. "I was there after the helicopter crash, remember? I looked after you so well. My steady hands will give you the best nose in the world. You keep mentioning it's crooked, why not let me sort it for you?"

"I know, you looked after me so well. But this is a big thing, you know I struggle with anaesthesia. Can't I at least have some time to think about it?"

He rubbed his arm. "Of course you can, love. I'd have only the best on the team for you."

He smiled. "I know you would. You're good like that. It's a big step, that's all. I wanna think about it. And as for the scar revision... Would anyone even be able to do anything?"

"Surely it's worth looking into. I know you hate them."

"Only because of who did them to me."

"And what better way to get rid of him?" Henri said, pressing a kiss to Fao's forehead. "Come, get dressed. You can wear that burgundy shirt I bought you last week."

"I'll think about it." He said quietly, getting up to put the shirt on, as well as some fresh boxers and some smart jeans. "Where are we going tonight?"

"It's a surprise."

"Am I dressed okay for this surprise?"

"You're dressed fine." He replied. "Remember, only one drink, let me do the talking."

"You always do a much better job than me. Do you want me to drive there? I don't mind."

"I'd like that very much." He said, sitting down and reaching for his shoes, polished for the occasion. "Come here and fasten these for me."

"Much better than getting some dodgy taxi." Fao murmured, moving to tie his boyfriend's shoes before he pulled his own socks on, followed by his shoes. The stretch hurt and he winced, though said nothing. 

Henri patted the top of Fao's head just before he got his shoes on, and shrugged his jacket on. "It certainly is."

He stood up with a groan, reaching for his own jacket. "My car or yours?"

"Mine."

"Okay. Ready to go, then?"

"Of course I am."

"Good. Thought I'd check, in case there was anything else you needed me to do."

He circled his arm around his lover's waist. "You always want to be prepared. You make me proud, maybe I'll let you have a second drink tonight."

"Only if you think I should. I know I was silly last time I got drunk."

"It's good that you admit it."

"I know it upset you." He said quietly, and they headed out of the house. Fao drove them to the restaurant, and once they were sat Fao didn't even open his menu. Henri would order what he deemed appropriate. That's what it was always like. He just watched his boyfriend from across the table, quiet as usual.

After a few minutes, a waiter came over and asked if they were ready for drinks. Henri ordered a bottle of red wine, the best and most expensive, and tasted it before deciding it would do. It was then he ordered them oysters for a starter, and it was as they were waiting that he heard Fao's familiar ringtone. He frowned.

"Answer it."

"Oh, it's only Alex. She'll call back. We're having dinner, I want to talk to you instead."

It was barely a minute later when his phone rung again, but this time it was the music for a text. Henri raised his eyebrows.

"What does it say?"

Fao shrugged, and passed his phone to Henri. "She just wants to talk later."

He looked at the text on the screen. It was short enough that he could read the whole thing.

Vixen 🦊[19:52]: We need to talk.

Henri was furious. He pushed the anger away - it wouldn't do to show it here. So he kept his expression neutral, even though his words were harsh.

"You won't be talking to her."

"Come on, it's probably just about work."

"Not tonight. Not at this time." He said, in a tone that made it final.

Fao nodded quickly. "Tomorrow. She probably knows I'm busy anyway."

"I'm sure she does. Now, turn it off." He said, passing the phone back.

"What if I get an important call?"

"You won't."

"But what if I do?"

"You won't." He repeated. "Turn it off and put in in your pocket, now."

Fao did as he was told, and out his phone away once it was off. "Sorry, honey."

"Thank you for apologising. Do you like the wine?"

"It's really nice. You picked it really well."

He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "I thought so. And I thought you'd enjoy oysters. It's almost our anniversary, after all."

"I love oysters. And you know what they say about them." He tried to flirt, though it wasn't wholly authentic. 

"I do. I'll look forward to our return home."

He smiled. "Of course. Maybe tonight we can take our time with each other?"

"Maybe we will. We'll see."

"I know you just get so carried away sometimes."

"It's hard not to." He replied, and caught sight of the waiter coming with their food. "Take it slow. This is my treat."

"Of course."

"Maybe I'll let you take the lead tonight if you're good."

"Only if that's what you want."

It was what he wanted. It was nice not to have to do all of the work for once, and enjoy what his boyfriend could give him. He might as well - he was going away in a few days for a conference, and he could afford to indulge Fao. So he let him take the lead when they got home, enjoying his mouth and arse before they went to bed.


	5. Chapter 5

Henri was packed and gone at the crack of dawn two days later, off to a conference, leaving Fao to wake on his own. Ely and Alex had already arranged to go over to see him, and gave him a few hours to get used to being on his own before they set off. It didn't take them long, and soon they were knocking on his door.

Fao hadn't been up long, having enjoyed his time in bed. Henri didn't believe in lie-ins, so it was a blessing. He'd just finished his shower and was dressed when they arrived, though his hair was still wet. He threw it up into a messy bun and answered the door, humming. 

"Hey, you two. Come in, should I put the kettle on?"

Ely smiled at him, trying to ignore her nausea at the real reason they'd come. "That'd be great. Got some peppermint tea?"

"Uh, somewhere, I think. Is your period being a bitch?"

She nodded. "Yeah." She lied easily.

"Aw, that sucks. I'll see what I can find. Get comfy in the living room, I'll be in soon."

Alex took her hand and lead her in, even though Ely had been over plenty of times before. They sat together on the sofa, but they weren't cuddling. In fact, they were both sat upright, clearly waiting.

Fao came in a few moments later with peppermint tea for Ely, tea for himself and coffee for Alex, and settled on the sofa next to them, stretching his legs out. 

"What's the plan for today, then? We could go out for lunch later?"

Alex shook her head. "We wanted to talk."

"Sure. Sorry about your message, I was out for dinner when you sent it and then I forgot to call... I figured we'd catch up at work."

She hummed, but her hand was on Ely's thigh. "We wanted to speak about when we went out."

Ely was chewing on her bottom lip, and she couldn't look at her friend. What if he got angry again? She didn't want to lose his friendship.

"Yeah, what about it?"

She took a sip of her tea to try and stall. It was too hot, and it burnt her tongue. She swallowed.

"When I went out for a bit of air..." She could feel Alex's fingers rubbing over her thigh, soothing her, encouraging her. "When I went out, Henri tried to rape me."

Fao frowned. He knew full well how little Henri cared for consent, but Ely? That stung. "That's horrible, but it doesn't sound like Henri. He'd never do anything like that. Are you sure it was him, it could have been anyone."

“Of course I’m sure. He told me he could stop me being gay, as if I’m not bi.” She stressed. “He insisted and pinned me to the wall, Fao. He was in my face.”

Fao shook his head. "No, it's just not him. You must have been mistaken, you'd been drinking a lot." It hurt to deny Ely like this, but if Henri found out he knew? God knows what would happen.

“I’m not!” She replied. “I know who it was. How can you stay with someone like that? Someone who hurts you and others?”

"He's never hurt me!" Fao snapped. "I wish you'd drop that nonsense."

She pressed her lips together, and it was Alex who spoke. 

“I’ve seen the bruises too, Fao.” She said softly. “I’ve seen how you are together. I hardly see you now, and that’s not you. We’re just worried about you."

"I'm busy, Alex! My job's so much busier, my hours are shit, when I get time to myself I spend it with my boyfriend. We're not together anymore, you're not my priority." He said, standing up. "Is this all you came over to talk about?"

“I know we’re not together. But you’re my friend, and you don’t have a social life. You were going to decline the other day, before Henri stepped in.” She said, standing up too. “We’re looking out for you. If we’re wrong, then we’re wrong. But at least we’ve got your back.”

"So sue me for not wanting to go out! I'm tired, half the time I'm in fucking pain and I'd rather just go to bed when I get in. Henri wanted to go out, so we went out. We slept it off the next day. People change, Taylor. I'm allowed to change!"

She helped Ely up. “Of course they do. Just remember who your friends are, yeah?”

"Obviously not fucking you. Go on, you might as well go." He snapped. "Stop making this shit up and get out!"

Ely swallowed again, but neither of the women said anything else as they left. 

Once they'd both gone, Fao ended up sat on the living room floor, reeling. Henri had tried to rape Ely, and he'd just straight up told her she was lying, that it couldn't be him. Of course it could. Fao had lost track of how many times he'd told his boyfriend no. He sat on the floor and cried and cried and cried, until he went hoarse and he couldn't cry any more. Then he forced himself to have a long, relaxing bath and curled up in bed, which was when he saw sense and rang Ely. 

She watched her phone light up, debating whether to answer it. Alex had been called into work, leaving her home alone, curled up in bed with their husky, Zeus. After a couple of moments, right before it stopped ringing, she answered it. 

“Hello?” She said, completely professional. 

"I fucked up." Fao said quietly, his voice still a little scratchy. 

“I get it, you don’t believe me.” 

"You're my best friend, Ely. I was way out of line. I have to believe you, for me not to believe you is just wrong. I just didn't want to think Henri was capable of something... Something like that."

She shrugged to herself. “He’s your boyfriend. I’m not just telling you I was almost raped, but that your partner cheated. And then there’s everything else.”

"I'm sorry for the way I reacted."

“That’s okay. We shouldn’t have ambushed you.”

"I know why you did. I've been hard to get hold of the past couple of days."

Past twelve months, Ely thought to herself. “It’s fine. Enjoying the peace?”

"Yeah, though it's pretty weird being alone."

“I bet. Alex got called into work, so it’s just me and Zeus.”

"Aw, give him a cuddle for me. I miss the big furry goofball."

She smiled. “Will do. He’s dreaming.”

"Cute." He murmured. "I've not been with Alex for ages but I really miss having animals in the house."

“You could get a cat?”

"Henri's allergic."

She sighed. “That’s shit. I think Zeus would eat a cat.”

"He'd at least chase it all day."

“Yeah. It’s not worth it.”

Fao rolled onto his back. "I'm really sorry about today."

“I know.”

"I was in pain, but I shouldn't have snapped."

She hummed, pulling the duvet up higher and stroking over the husky’s head. “I get it.”

"I'm gonna confront Henri when he gets back."

“Alright.” She said softly. 

"But I really am sorry about what happened today."

She sighed. “I know. You don’t have to keep apologising.”

"Sorry, I'll stop."

She tried not to sigh again. “As long as you’re okay. We’re just worried about you, Alex especially.”

"I'm fine, I'm doing great."

“That’s all we want. Let us know if there are any problems?”

"Of course I will, you're my best friends."

She smiled. “Okay. Goodnight.”

"Goodnight, sleep well. Hope Alex isn't back too late." He murmured.


	6. Chapter 6

Fao had a couple of days of luxury, enjoying the freedom that came from being alone. But he missed sharing the sofa in the evening watching TV, and he missed having someone to cuddle up to in bed. But the days passed quickly and before he knew it, Henri was headed home. Fao made sure to clean the house from top to bottom and cook Henri's favourite meal ready for when he got in. He made sure he was presentable too, and then just had to wait. 

Henri arrived just after six in the evening, and entered without a word. He toed his smart shoes off in the hallway, and left his suitcase there as well - he'd have Fao sort it later, put the washing machine on overnight. For now, he wanted good food and good wine, and then he wanted his boyfriend to bend over the bed and let him take him.

Fao smiled at the sound of the door. "Hi, babe! I'm in the kitchen. You can go freshen up and then we can eat!" He called. 

He couldn't help but venture into the kitchen, wrapping his arms around his partner and kissing his neck. His hips rolled against Fao's arse, and he breathed deeply.

"I've missed you." He rumbled.

"Mmm, I've missed you too. It's not the same without you."

"I thought about you last night," he murmured, "about spreading you out on the bed. Would you like that?"

"You know I would." Fao murmured, and for once it wasn't a lie. He'd missed his boyfriend, he was looking forwards to the sex tonight. "I've got a surprise for you later."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I think you're really gonna like it."

"You really do know how to spoil me." He replied, squeezing his arse and then stepping back. "I expect that to be ready by the time I'm refreshed. Put the washing on too, my suitcase is in the hall."

"Mmm, of course. Is it all to be washed?"

"Yes. Throw it all in together."

"Okay, I will." Fao said brightly, slipping out of the kitchen to throw everything in the washer and put the finishing touches to dinner, as well as pour the wine. 

They had a lovely meal together, and Henri drunk three quarters of the bottle of wine before they retreated upstairs. He had to admit, he was impressed with Fao's preparation, and the plug looked amazing in his arse. Even with the alcohol, he lasted quite a while for once, before he reached his climax.

Fao enjoyed himself, for once, and even came on Henri's cock. He really had missed his boyfriend. They slept tangled together, and the next morning Fao woke up incredibly early, aching and uncomfortable. But he shrugged it off, and waited for it to get later before he slipped out of bed to make a start on breakfast for the both of them.

Henri had been hoping for round two, and was disappointed when he rolled over to find Fao’s spot empty. He frowned, before the smell of cooking hit him and he decided to get up. So he headed downstairs. 

“What are you making?”

Fao looked up, humming at the sight of his boyfriend. "Bacon and eggs. I figured I'd treat you since you've been away."

“You do know what I like.” He mused. 

"I thought you'd sleep for longer, you must be tired."

“Mmm, I woke up wanting you.”

"Maybe after breakfast, then."

Henri patted his shoulder. “You’re my perfect little housewife.”

"I try."

“Give me a kiss, and I’ll let you cook.”

Fao smiled and kissed him, turning away from his cooking for a minute.

Henri patted his arse again, murmuring something about getting him an apron, and then settled at the breakfast bar with a cup of strong black coffee to wait, idly reading the news on his phone. 

Fao went about his cooking, silent for a moment, before he spoke. “Did you have a good trip? We didn’t speak much last night.”

“I did. It was enlightening.” He didn’t even bother to ask if Fao had enjoyed his time alone. 

“Good. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Learn a lot of new stuff?”

“A bit.”

“Better than nothing, I suppose.”

“It is. Is that nearly ready?”

“Yeah, less than a minute.” Fao replied, reaching to get a couple of plates out, quickly sipping his tea before he served the food. He handed Henri his plate and then sat beside him to eat, quiet. His boyfriend would probably pick the conversation if he wanted to talk.

There was no more conversation. Henri ate and finished his coffee, and then settled back. “Enjoy your peace?”

“It was weird. I missed you.” He said, collecting up the plates. “I, uh, wanted to talk about something, though.”

That made him frown. “Yes?”

"Uh, remember when we went out with Ely and Alex?"

“What about it?” He replied. 

"When, uh, when you were gone Ely.... Ely spoke to me. She said... She said you tried to rape her." He mumbled, not looking at him. "And I don't believe her because you'd never do it but that's what she said and I wanted to talk to you about it because it worried me."

Henri threw his empty mug across the room. It hit the wall and smashed. “You better not believe that filthy whore! She was the one who cane onto me!” He exclaimed. 

Fao flinched, whimpering. "I'm sorry! I never believed her!"

“You better not have!” He thundered. “She was desperate to get in my pants! Probably misses cock, but that’s not the point! And stop whimpering!”

“I’m sorry. You s-scared me.”

Henri almost softened. “I didn’t mean to. I’m just angry that that slut is still trying to break us up. She’s never liked me.”

“I didn’t believe her, I told her you’d never do something like that. I’m sorry, I really am.”

“Good. I’ll be having a word with her. She can’t slander my name like that.”

He shook his head. “Of course not. You have a whole clinic.”

“Exactly. I should have her arrested for defamation.”

“I’m sure she didn’t mean it. There’s no point arresting her. Court will take time away from your work, you don’t need that crap.”

Henri got up and strode around the breakfast bar to take Fao’s chin in his hand. He squeezed, hard. “You believe me, and you’ll have nothing more to do with her. Got it?”

He nodded quickly, eyes wide. “Y-yeah. I always believed you.” He said quietly, voice trembling.

“Good.”

He looked away from Henri. “I’m sorry I said anything, I didn’t meant to upset you.”

“I know you didn’t. Clean up, I’m off for a shower.”

"Of course." Fao murmured, hurrying to clean up the shattered mug, as well as the plates and his mug.


	7. Chapter 7

Henri left him to it. They had the day off together, and then they were both back at work. He made sure to block Ely’s number on Fao’s phone, and was on lookout for her all day. Given she was trauma and he was plastics, it wasn’t like they saw each other much or she had regular, easy to track breaks. But he found her in the early afternoon, eating what looked like a salad, and grabbed her by the upper arm and hauled her to an on call room. He made sure to lock the door behind them. 

Ely gritted her teeth and glared at him, having ripped herself free of his grip. 

“What the hell do you want, Lécuyer?”

"You spoke to Fao, you filthy whore!" He growled. 

She crossed her arms over her chest. “So? He’s my friend, I can speak to him about whatever I want.” But she knew she had no proof, nothing to go to the police with. And she was sure he knew that too. 

"I know your type." He spat. "Trying to poison his mind against me. I won't have you anywhere near him. He has no interest in being friends with lying scum like you and your whore girlfriend."

“You know as well as me that I wasn’t lying!” She replied, pushing away the hurt when he said Fao didn’t want to know her and Alex. He’d been friends with Alex a lot longer than he’d been with Henri, that couldn’t be right. “And don’t call Alex a whore!”

"Oh, Ely, you just don't understand, do you?" Henri said, voice so fake-sweet it was painful. "He's far too vulnerable to know what really goes on. It'll break him apart. It's best if he doesn't know things like this. You know what he's like. He’d probably end up on a psych ward, without me.”

“He doesn’t need you!” She hissed. “He needs to get away from you and get some proper help! I’ve seen the bruises, the way he reacts around you! You’re abusing him, and you’re stupider than you look if you think I’m not going to help him.”

“You won’t be going anywhere near him.” He growled. “You don’t know anything about our relationship, and you’re sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong. If you’re not careful, you’re going to get hurt.”

“I’m not scared of you.”

“You should be, Lozier.”

She clenched her jaw. “Well, I’m not. You really think I’m going to let you keep controlling him, after all he’s been through?”

“Fao doesn’t do anything he doesn’t want to do.”

“Like hell.” She spat, her right hand curling into a fist. 

"Careful," Henri warned her, "don't do anything you might regret." He took a step closer, eyes narrow. 

“Like I’d regret hitting your stupid face.” She responded. “I’d have thought a plastic surgeon would look better. Not that you have a proper job, profiting off of people’s insecurities.”

Henri didn't hesitate before he punches her square in the stomach. "Filthy whore!"

She doubled over, the breath knocked out of her. “I always knew you weren’t a gentleman. You’re a controlling, sadistic bastard.” She could report this, she could get him arrested for assault. No doubt she’d bruise.

He pressed her against the wall. "You say anything about this, I'll kill you." He growled, swinging another punch, higher up this time. 

She felt the burst of pain as his fist connected with her ribs. It was hard not to cry out, and when she breathed she was sure she could feel her bones grating together. What else could she do, other than give in? 

“Okay, okay.” She whispered, not looking at him. Let him think she was broken. 

"Good. Remember, I'll know if you say something about this. You won't get off lightly."

“I won’t say anything.” She promised. Not to Alex, especially not to Fao. She couldn’t shake the feeling that he really didn’t want to know her any more. He’d blocked her number. 

"Now get out of here before I change my mind." He growled. 

She slipped past him, heading to the locker room where she swallowed four painkillers with a gulp of lukewarm water from her bottle. It was probably too much, but she couldn’t get anything stronger, and she couldn’t let anyone know. 

That wasn’t to say she wasn’t aching when she got home, curling up on the sofa under a blanket with her hot water bottle. 

Alex had been off, and had just got back from a long walk with the dog when Ely came back. She was surprised to find her girlfriend curled up on the sofa looking sorry for herself, and frowned. 

"Aw, babe, did your period start early?"

Ely didn’t look up. It was easier to lie. “Yeah.”

"Can I get you anything?"

Ely shook her head. "No. I'll be fine."

Alex hummed, sitting down next to her and rubbing her thigh. "Are you sure?"

She curled up a little tighter. "Yeah. I've already taken some painkillers.”

“Cuddles? I’d offer Zeus but he’s all muddy and I’ve sent him to bed.”

Ely knew she should say yes. But she was sore, and she didn't want to move. She shook her head again. "It's okay. You should go do dinner.”

“Alright. Want anything special?”

She shrugged. "Can't think of anything. I know it's my turn to cook…."

“I don’t mind, it’s okay.”

"Thank you, babe." She replied softly.

“You can just take it easy.”

"That's what I planned." She mumbled, closing her eyes. She longed to tell Alex what had happened, but she didn't dare. She'd just go mental, and then Henri might take it out on Fao. Even if Fao wanted nothing to do with them, she'd still looked out for him.

“Good. Let me know if you want anything.” Alex said, kissing the top of her head and standing up and heading to the kitchen. 

"Promise." She murmured, not sure if her girlfriend had heard her. She didn't know if it was the stress of Fao, or of work, or something else, but they didn't seem as close as they had been. Ely had been blaming her endo for ages now for not feeling like sex, but she knew it wasn't that. But she was comfortable with Alex, so she didn't know what it was or what to do.

Alex cooked dinner relatively quickly, and let Ely eat on the sofa, since she was feeling so rough. Alex tucked herself in on the sofa next to her, careful not to disturb her. Zeus was sniffing around the sofa, looking for a spot to jump up.

Ely curled her legs closer to her chest, and patted the sofa so the dog could jump up and curl up the best he could behind her knees. His head rested on her bum, and she hummed.

"Thanks for cooking." She said softly.

"That's okay. I really don't mind when you're feeling rough."

"I know." She said. "But I can still thank you."

"Are you sure I can't get you anything?"

"I'm fine, I promise. Took some codeine when I got home." She replied. It was true - she'd been glad to get home to an empty flat, and had immediately taken two pills, almost cutting her thumbs on the plastic of the blister pack as she hastily tried to pop them out and ended up snapping it instead.

"Okay. Shall I run you a bath?"

She shrugged. "I think I'm fine." She wouldn't be able to relax in the bath, it would hurt her too much.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'm comfy here."

"Maybe later, then."

She hummed. "Yeah, maybe." She said, and was silent for a moment. "Has Fao been answering any of your texts or calls?"

Alex had to think for a minute. "No, he hasn't. I asked about swapping shifts and heard nothing back."

"That's weird."

"Yeah, he's normally good at replying."

"I tried to ring him earlier and it wouldn't go through." She said.

"That's really odd."

"Do you think he's okay?"

"I...I don't know."

Ely didn't move. She wanted to, but she didn't want to hurt herself. Not anymore than she already was. "I don't know what to do."

"Nor do I. I guess we just need proof."

“Hard to do that when he isn’t talking to us.” She grumbled. She hadn’t told her girlfriend that he’d apologised, either. “Do you.... do you think we went too far? Maybe we were wrong and he’s fed up.”

"There's no way we're wrong."

“He won’t listen to us.”

"I've never seen him like this before."

Ely shrugged. “He still won’t listen. If he’s blocked our numbers, what can we do?”

"There's something wrong, Ely. This isn't the Fao I know."

“I know. But he won’t take it kindly if we badger him at work.”

"No. But he's not been the same since Henri, and he's been worse since his accident. I'm worried."

“I don’t know what we can do. We don’t have any proof.”

"I guess we need to find some, then."

Ely looked up. “How are we gonna do that? Spy on them?”

"I don't know."

“All we could do is ring the police and tell them we suspect domestic abuse. If they even take it seriously.”

"They never do. Fao had enough trouble last time."

Ely played with a loose thread on the blanket. “Then we’re at a dead end. We’ve just got to hope he comes back to us.”

"I hope he does. But I have a sneaking suspicion he's not ignoring our calls deliberately."

“I don’t know,” she replied, “it seemed pretty final the other day.”

"I suppose. But this isn't him. I've known him for almost 15 years, Ely."

“I know. But Henri told me today that he didn’t want to know us any more.” She had to tell her girlfriend that. 

"I don't believe that at all."

“I don’t want to believe it.” She said quietly. “But what other explanation is there?”

"Henri."

“We’re going around in circles.” She said. “We have no proof, we can’t do anything. No doubt he’d talk his way out if we called the authorities.”

"He has charisma, he has a successful career, he's got money, he can get out of anything. But this really isn't Fao."

“Then report it.” She couldn’t do it. Henri would find out. 

"God, Ely, I don't know how."

“I don’t know either. It’s the only chance we have. If we’re right, Fao’s oblivious.”

"I'm worried about the consequences for Fao if this goes south. Henri could kill him."

“I know.”

"He's capable."

“I know.” She repeated. She knew all too well. 

"I just don't want him to get hurt because of something we've done."

“I don’t either. But can we sit about doing nothing?”

"I don't know." Alex mumbled. "I think we have to wait."

Ely was silent for a few more moments. “I think I’m gonna go to bed.”

"Sure you don't want that bath?"

“Yeah. Bed sounds great right now.”

"I could give you a massage?"

Ely shook her head, sitting up. The last thing she wanted was for her to press too hard on her ribs and find out. “I’m fine.”

"You normally say how much it helps..."

“Sorry.” She said softly. “Guess I’m just frustrated with everything. It normally does.” But a massage was just out of bounds right now. Alex couldn’t find out about her broken ribs, and massages often lead to a happy ending. She was hardly up to it. 

"Oh, alright. I'll stay down here for a bit, watch some tv. I'll be up later, yeah?"

“Okay. Goodnight.” She said, and kissed her on the cheek. She felt distant from her now, like she was building a wall between them. Perhaps she was, but it was to protect them. 

"Goodnight, honey." Alex replied. "Hope you sleep well."


	8. Chapter 8

Reluctantly, Fao had his pre-op done on the Thursday. The Friday was his last day of work, and the rumours were flying round to explain why he'd taken three weeks off at short notice. Of course, Henri had told his manager, and Fao ended up correcting some people himself - after all, it was his decision. He'd just finished up in theatre with a patient, with Ely as his anaesthetist, though they hadn't spoken. He supposed she really didn't want to be friends with him anymore. He was about to go on a break, but always made a habit of checking on his patients in recovery before he left, so he was going to have to talk to Ely. 

"Everything okay with the patient?" He asked, voice formal. 

She didn't looked up. To be honest, she was surprised he even spoke to her, given he seemed to have blocked her number. She'd been arguing with Alex again, over silly, stupid things, but now she wasn't talking to her girlfriend, either. She felt lost, and she wasn't sure how to claw it all back. In reality, she knew Henri had probably taken Fao's phone, and she should apologise to Alex, but with the rumour mill running about Fao's sudden time off, her head was spinning with it all.

She kept her own voice formal as she replied to him.

"Everything is fine, they've tolerated the anaesthetic wonderfully."

"I'm glad to hear it, I'm heading off on break. Just checking all is well first."

"There's no need for concern."

"Good. Page me if you need me, then."

She paused. She couldn't stay like this with him, it wasn't right. He looked exhausted, worried, and it wasn't like him. Nothing normally phased him, and he'd been silent so long.

"Fao?" She asked gently.

"Yeah?"

"Can we talk?"

"I guess."

She left the patient in the care of the nurses, fully intending to apologise. But once they were in the corridor it was different words that fell from her tongue.

"Why are you taking time off so suddenly?" She heard herself asking.

"Why does it matter?"

"Because I haven't heard anything from you." She replied softly, unsure what to do with her hands. "No calls, no texts, nothing. We're still friends, I think, and I'm worried about you."

"You've made it perfectly clear we're not friends. You don't call, and my calls don't go through. It doesn't matter why I'm taking leave, just pick your favourite rumour."

She stared at him, confused. "I've been trying to call you! And so has Alex. God, she's shitting herself about you, though she'd never admit it."

He scoffed. "A likely story. I'm fine."

"You really think I'd have blocked you after what I told you?" She replied. "I came to you because I felt you had to know, and you blew up. If anything, you'd have blocked me. And you think that after fifteen years Alex wouldn't care about you?!"

"Well, my calls don't go through! You've blocked me on Facebook, all of my messages fail. What else am I meant to think?! And it doesn't matter, but I'm getting my nose straightened on Monday."

She was gobsmacked, and simply stood there. Her voice was quiet when she spoke. "I haven't blocked you on Facebook - your account vanished. And you're getting your nose straightened? Why?"

"Because it's crooked. Been broken a couple of times and I'd like to do something about it."

"It's never bothered you before."

"Well, I've got the opportunity, so why not. It's pro bono."

She pressed her teeth together. "Where? Who's doing it?"

"Henri's clinic. He'll do it."

"He can hardly be impartial!" She exclaimed.

"He's the best! He knows how to get it perfect. I trust him."

She could feel the fight draining from her. She was never going to win this. "He's your boyfriend, he shouldn't be operating on you. Did he suggest it?" If he had, it was just another way to control him. The thought made her sick.

"Yes, he did. And I trust him."

She looked like she was going to cry. "Are you sure? You're an anaesthetic risk. I wouldn't want to be in charge of you on the table."

"I know, but Henri's people are good. It's only a short procedure, I'll be fine." 

She reached out, brushing her fingertips over his knuckles before she drew back, suddenly uncertain if he'd even want her comfort.

"If it's what you want," she said softly, "what you truly want, and you haven't been coerced, or blackmailed, or forced into it, then I'll support you. You know that, right? No matter what's going on with our phones, I haven't blocked you, and I'm here for you. Alex too."

"Oh, come here you daft sod." Fao said, pulling her close for a hug. "It's a short procedure, I'll be back at work in no time. I've been with Henri for years, you really think I was never gonna go under the knife? He knows the best surgeons in the county."

He hadn't answered her properly. He'd pushed it away as if it was nothing, but she supposed that it was better than anger.

"For what it's worth, I don't think you need it. I don't even think your nose is crooked, I've never noticed it."

He laughed. "It is, honey. They never aligned it properly. I'll find a way to text you, yeah?"

"You've never complained. But okay. Make a new Facebook, maybe?" Underlying her words was the warning to not let Henri know.

"I'll sort something. Promise."

"And let Alex know too. I swear she spends her spare time pacing, we'll have to buy a new carpet." She attempted to joke. In reality, things were so tense between them that she wasn't sure how much longer they'd be together. They barely kissed now, never mind intimacy.

"If I see her. Otherwise, will you?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"You see her more than me."

"Oh, I don't know about that. Most of the time one of us is asleep.”

“Well, you know what I mean.” He murmured.

"Yeah, I do." She said, and squared her shoulders. "We should probably both get on. Work and stuff.”

“Yeah, uh, I should take my break.”

"Okay. I've got patients to check in on." She said, trying to push away the awkwardness between them. "See you later.”

“Yeah, see you around.” He replied, hurrying off to the break room.

She watched him go, chewing on her bottom lip. She almost called out a goodbye to him, and then bit it back. What was she meant to say? They'd had a conversation, yeah, but she didn't think they were back at where they used to be. They wouldn't be there for a long time, and only if Henri buggered off. She didn't see Fao again that day, and obviously not over the weekend. Not to mention she wasn't stupid enough to see if she could get to Fao in Henri's stupid clinic. He'd managed to set up a secret Facebook account, though, so she sent him a good luck message when she woke up, unsure if he'd even see it. 


	9. Chapter 9

Henri had escorted Fao into his clinic, though he had been unable to sit with him while he waited. After all, he had things to get ready, staff to shout at to get ready. He couldn't risk anything with Fao on the table, not if he wanted to keep his control. 

The wait was agonising. Fao felt lost in his little room, and wanted to bolt and go home. But he couldn’t because Henri would know and he’d be angry. So he paced up and down for a while, his stomach empty but still churning. The nurses did some final checks and helped him get changed, he spoke at length with his anaesthetist, and then he just had to wait for his boyfriend.

Henri came back up for him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “Ready?"

Fao tensed. “I, uh, I dunno. ‘m scared.”

"You've got nothing to worry about. I've got you.”

“Can we go slow?”

"Of course, pumpkin.”

He smiled, leaning against him. “Let’s go, then. I feel out of place in your fancy hospital.”

"There's no need for that. You're the VIP guest today.”

Fao laughed. “I suppose I am. Just feels weird.”

"I'll be there when you come around in your bed, so anything you need, you just ask me.”

“Yeah. You know I come round bad, though.”

"I know, and I've made sure the anaesthetist knows." He soothed him, rubbing his thumb over his hip.

“You’re the best. Love you.”

"I know you do." He replied, leading him through the corridors and to the anaesthetic bay.

Fao followed his boyfriend a little uncertainly, down unfamiliar corridors. They came to the anaesthetics bay and he hopped up onto the bed, reaching out for his boyfriend’s hand.

Henri smiled softly, rubbing the back of his hand. "You're going to be just fine. You'll wake up and wonder why you made such a fuss.”

“You’re not gonna go anywhere, are you?”

"Of course not.”

Fao looked up at Henri as the nursing team got him set up, feeling sick to his stomach. He really didn’t want to do this, and his hands shook.

Henri tutted, rubbing his shoulder with his other hand. But when he leaned close, his words were harsh.

"Stop shaking like a baby. Don't you dare embarrass me." The team would think he was just whispering assurances.

Fao whimpered, looking away from him. If Henri wouldn’t comfort him, he doubted anyone would. He sucked in a deep breath and tried to stop himself shaking. But the clinical smell of the room and the sheets on the bed and the gown he wore was making his heart pound faster. He felt like he was back in the army again, but back then Henri had been soft and kind. Not harsh and cold.

If they had been alone, Henri would have hit him. But they weren't. He dug his fingers into his boyfriend's shoulder for a moment, and then released his grip to run his fingers down his cheek.

"C'mon now, breathe." He urged. He didn't have a choice - Fao was stupid enough to show him up like this, he had to stop it in it's tracks.

It was his bad shoulder, and Fao’s brows furrowed. He knew Henri’s words held no real comfort, but he drew in another shuddering breath and tried to calm himself. The blood pressure cuff was tight around his arm and he tried his hardest to think of something other than this. He wanted to go back to when Henri was sweet and kind and they were in love. He felt the sting of the cannula in the back of his hand, and his teeth sunk into his lip.

"There you are." Henri soothed gently. "Not that bad, is it? You're just going to sleep.”

He shook his head, squirming a little under Henri’s cold gaze. He wasn’t used to his boyfriend looming over him in scrubs, his hands cold and his voice colder.

"Close your eyes, pumpkin. It'll all be over soon.”

Fao closed his eyes again, cold and anxious. He felt the sting of the drugs through the cannula and knew it would soon be over, as the talking of the anaesthetist faded and he felt the mask being pressed over his face. He hoped Henri would be in a better mood when he woke up, and that was the last thing he thought of before he slipped into unconsciousness.

The surgery went well. It didn't take more than a few hours, and Henri had to admit it was the best work he'd done. Of course it was - he didn't want to be seen with someone with a crooked, ugly nose. It had taken years to get to this point, but the fact that he had coerced Fao onto the table only meant one thing.

He was his. Completely and utterly under his control.

As he worked, fingers surprisingly nimble, he spoke with his team. Idle chatter, really, but with slights to his partner, complaining that he wouldn't get his scars seen to, as if asking for advice to bring him around. Soon enough, he was finishing his sutures and then leaving the theatre, throwing his gloves in the bin on the way past. He'd have a coffee and some food, and then see if Fao had come around. No doubt he'd be whiny and clingy, desperate for attention. Henri could indulge him for now.

Fao came round badly, as per usual, though the nurses were kind and rubbed his back as he threw up. But he was in and out of consciousness for a while and when he came around next he was in his room, warm and heavy.

Henri had seated himself in the chair next to his bed, idly reading the newspaper with one ankle resting on his other leg's knee. He turned his head when his partner stirred, humming.

"See? I told you that you'd be fine.”

Fao groaned, coughing. His throat burned but he shifted to look at Henri, his vision blurred from a lack of glasses (amongst other things). 

“Mmm, hi.” He said thickly.

"You look like shit.”

He rolled his eyes. “Your fault.”

"Don't you dare speak back to me like that.”

He whimpered and moved to lay back again, closing his eyes. “Sorry.”

"Good. You embarrassed me.”

“Didn’t mean to.” He mumbled. “PTSD.”

"Oh, you can shut up about that. You're a child." He scolded.

“Can I sleep again?”

"You might as well." He replied, his voice hard.

Fao didn’t say anything else, just pretended to sleep until he actually fell asleep. Henri was in a worse mood. Had something gone wrong?

Ely spent the day walking on eggshells. She was snappy and rude, and Alex was much the same. They kept annoying each other, saying or doing the wrong thing. Ely knew they were both worried and stressed, but she couldn't stop the nagging feeling that something else was at play, too. They hadn't been comfortable for a long time now.

Sat on her own on the sofa, Ely couldn't stop fidgeting.

"Have you heard anything?" She asked.

“Nothing.” Alex replied, sat on the floor with the dog. “I’d tell you if I’d heard anything.”

"I just thought I'd ask.”

“You know I’d tell you. I’m just as worried as you are.”

Ely started to play with a loose thread on the hem of her top. "I know. Sorry.”

“This is the stupidest thing he’s ever done. He’s stuck.”

"I know. There's nothing we can do.”

“No. We can’t prove he’s been forced into this. I just want to know how he is.”

Ely sighed heavily. "Alex, can we talk about us?”

Alex hummed, and, sensing Ely’s tone, got up and sat next to her on the sofa. “Yeah. We should talk."

"I'm glad you agree." She said softly.

“Things have been… weird for a while.”

"Yeah, they have.”

“I’m not sure where we go from here.”

She paused, and then looked up. "I don't think we can go much further.”

“I don’t want this to be the end, I think there’s still scope for us to carry on.”

Ely shook her head. "We haven't.... We haven't been right for a while. I don't want to hurt either of us by prolonging it.”

“You want us to be over?"

"I don't want it," she replied, "but I think it's for the best.”

“Friends, then?”

"Yeah, I think so." She said, meeting her eyes.

“Wanna share custody of the dog?” Alex attempted to joke, though her voice wavered a little.

"I dunno." She mumbled, leaning forwards to press a kiss to her cheek. She couldn't stay now - it felt wrong, and it had been Alex's flat before she moved in.

“You sure? He’s gonna miss you.”

"I know. I'll miss him too.”

“Come here, let me hug you.”

Ely shuffled closer, wrapping her arms around her now ex.

Alex held her tight, breathing deep to try and remember the smell of her perfume, the way she felt in her arms. 

“I wish things were different.” She whispered.

"I do too." She whispered right back, breathing deeply herself.

“Don’t be a stranger.”

"Wouldn't dream of it.”

“Good. You better come walk Zeus or he’ll sulk.”

She couldn't help but laugh. "I know. I'm gonna pack some stuff, okay?”

“Stay? At least until we know how Fao is.”

"I don't think I can, ‘Lex."

“Please. You know he’s only messaging you right now.”

She paused. "Okay. Just until he messages.”

“But I can’t stop you packing. I don’t want to kick you out, but I guess you’ve made up your mind?”

Ely nodded. "Yeah. I just.... I don't want it to hurt more than it already does.”

“I understand.”

"I'll be fine. You will be too.”

“Yeah, we’ll be alright.”

She stood up. "I'm gonna pack.”

“Go on. And, uh, if you want a hoodie… I’m not gonna stop you.”

Ely offered her a smile. "Thanks. You know I'm partial."

"Yeah. Can't rob you of that."

"I won't be long."

"Take your time, it's alright."

Ely stretched, and then disappeared off into the bedroom. She found her suitcase - not a big one, thank god, and filled it with enough stuff for a week. She didn't know how long she'd be staying in a hotel for, and a week's worth of stuff was enough for laundry. Besides, it was all she could squash in. She was just zipping her case up when her phone pinged with a message.

Fao [21:04]: Fine, Henri gone x

She rushed back out into the living room. "He's messaged."

Alex looked up. "Oh, thank god. Is he alright?"

She nodded. "Yeah, he says he's fine and Henri's just gone."

"It's late. Bet he's shattered."

"I'm surprised he's not asleep."

"I'm sure he will be soon. He really doesn't get on with anaesthesia."

She hummed. "Now that we know, I'm gonna head off. I'll tell him to message you."

"Yeah, go. But let me know if you need anything?"

"Of course." She said, and retreated to grab her suitcase and her coat. She checked she had everything she needed, and then stooped to kiss Alex's cheek. "I really enjoyed what we had. Don't forget that."

"I'll never forget it. You've been really great, Ely. Hope we can stay friends, I really do."

"Of course we will." She replied. "You know we will. I'll see you tomorrow, at work, yeah?"

"Yeah." Alex murmured, hesitating. "Do you need a lift in the morning?"

"No, it's fine. Don't worry yourself."

"Sure?"

She nodded, bending down to pat Zeus on the head. "Very sure. Besides, you can ride your bike for once." She attempted to joke.

"Maybe I will. See you, love. Take care." The endearment slipped out without her really realising. 

"You too." She replied, and left. She'd ordered an Uber on her phone while she grabbed her stuff, and she got down just in time for it. It would be a lie to say she wasn't pushing away tears as she was driven to a nearby Premier Inn, where she checked into a room and headed up. It was then, curled up in her hotel bed and feeling very sorry for herself that she messaged Fao back, not expecting a reply. He should be resting.

Ely [21:53]: Good! Rest up, take care, and message alex x


	10. Chapter 10

Once Fao was discharged he had three blissful weeks with Henri. There were moments where he lost his temper or stopped him having painkillers, but overall it was... Kind of perfect. And Fao had been so sure that he had to do something to end this relationship, those three weeks stopped it in its tracks. He healed from his surgery and Henri wouldn't stop telling him how gorgeous he looked, how much better it was. He got compliments at work too, but nothing other than a bone-crushing hug from Ely. 

Work got in the way as always and one night Fao had been stuck in theatre past ten with a very nasty trauma. He'd gotten one of the circulating nurses to text Henri as soon as he could, knowing it was going to be a long surgery. He hoped that would be enough to keep him happy, but he still felt sick as he parked the car and let himself into the house. 

Henri was fuming, again. Honestly, why couldn’t his boyfriend change his specialty? He didn’t have to do trauma, he could do general. The taller man paced up and down like a caged animal until he hears tires crunching on gravel. It was then that he strode into the hall, anger rolling off of him in waves. He was shouting before the door was unlocked. 

“You’ve finally decided to come home, have you?!”

"I'm so sorry, babe. Things happened and this trauma came in and it took forever. Poor guy didn't even make it. Didn't you get my text? I didn't want you to wait up, it's late and you're operating tomorrow, honey." He said, voice tired. 

He clenched his jaw. “I got no fucking text. Why should I believe you? It’s a likely story, but you’ve always been a shit liar.”

"I asked a nurse to message you. You can check theatre records, anything. I was operating, I really am sorry."

Henri strode closer. “I’m sick of your fucking lies, I should teach you a lesson.”

"Henri, please. I'm sorry. You know I can't lie to you."

“Shut up!” He snarked, aiming a punch for his stomach. 

Fao gasped, falling to his knees. "Please, Henri!" He managed to get out.

He pushed him with his foot square in his chest. “Oh, shut up.” He replied, and kicked at his crotch. That would stop him moving. 

Fao ended up sprawled on his back, hitting his head hard against the wooden floor of the hall. He cried out, the room spinning, and then cried out again as Henri's foot caught him right in genitals. 

Henri laughed, and kicked at his hip now, the bad one. He fucking deserved this, making him wait all evening. 

The kick to his hip radiated pain all down his leg and Fao cried out, back arching. There were tears in his eyes and his head was throbbing. 

A firm grip in his hair was all Henri needed to pull Fao’s head back. “You’re pathetic, you know that? As if anyone would want you but me, and you can’t even stick to that. Lying whore.” He accused, and stretched Fao’s left arm out before stomping on his wrist with all of his weight. 

That's when the tears started, white-hot pain spreading up his arm as he felt his bones crack under Henri's foot. "P-please." He begged. "Please s-stop."

“Pathetic.” He said, and left. He’d made his point, and now he’d finish his wine. 

Trembling and crying, Fao forced himself onto his hands and knees, ignoring just how much pain he was in. He had to get out, and now. From his knees he got to his feet and stumbled out of the house, scrabbling for his keys. He was convinced Henri could kill him. 

He managed to get back into his car and somehow get it started, using his good hand whilst holding his bad one close to his chest. He needed a hospital, but he couldn't go back to work. Too many people knew him, and too many knew Henri. With nothing but his bag from work and the clothes he was wearing, Fao drove to the only place he could think of that Henri didn't know about. His Surrey home. 

He knew he needed a new phone but he needed to make a call first. He fumbled to get it to work but eventually it did, and he unblocked Elys number, listening to it dial as he joined the motorway, cheeks still streaked with tears. 

Ely had found a flat by then, and was still getting used to the silence, to not having someone next to her in bed when her ringing phone spooked her. She stared at it for a second, confused by Fao’s details, and then snatched it up. 

“What is it? God, it’s so late.” She said, her heart pounding. 

"Oh god, Ely." He breathed. "You answered. I was s-so worried it wouldn't work."

“I’m here. What is it? Are you okay?” She could hear the engine, the telltale rush of a car. Where was he going?

"Y-you were right. You always have been. I'm.... I'm gonna leave Henri. Tonight he..." His voice faltered, interrupted by a sob. 

“Fao, are you driving? You need to pull over, please.” He sounded way too upset to be behind the wheel. 

"I can't stop. I need to get away."

“You’re upset. Are you crying? You can’t drive if you’re crying. Come to mine, yeah? I’ll give you the address.” She still hadn’t told him she’d broken up with Alex. Now wasn’t the time, but he’d be safe at hers. 

"I know your address, don't be daft." He stumbled over his words. "I'm going home, where I grew up. He's... He's really dangerous t-tonight. Think my wrist is b-broken."

“Oh, Fao. Where’s that? I’ll come over tomorrow, I promise.” For one, she had to come clean. But more than that, she wanted to be there for him. He needed a friend right now. 

"Please, Ely. Be careful. I'm worried about him getting to you. I...I need a new phone. I'll call tomorrow, when I'm safer. I jus' wanted to let you know that I've always believed you over him, I've always known it was wrong. I never wanted any of this."

“I know you didn’t. It’s okay, and he won’t get me. Get yourself safe, get a new phone and let me know the address, yeah? I don’t want you to be alone.”

"Tomorrow. I'll... I'll talk to you tomorrow."

“Okay. Turn your WiFi and tracking off. Stay safe, get to a hospital. Take care. I’ll be there tomorrow, Ill look after you.”

"Gonna smash it up. Thank you. Thank you so much."

“I’m always here for you. Love you.”

He couldn't quite say it back, the words died in his throat, but he made a soft noise and ended the call. With that done, he fumbled to get the SIM card out, broke that, and then threw the phone across the car, hearing it crack. He stopped at the nearest services, bought a ridiculously cheap phone and a pay as you go SIM, as well as a wrist support and some painkillers. He took a load of cash out, cut up his cards and carried on driving after a strong coffee and a handful of tablets. It was still horribly dark when he got to his old house, and he was damn glad he kept the keys on his keychain. He made sure his phone was completely dead and then threw it in the lake out the front, heading inside. It was cold and eerie but safe and once there was a fire in the grate Fao felt better. Once warm, Fao headed up to the master bedroom, slipping under the covers. He didn't sleep, kept awake by his head and stomach, his hip and his wrist. Not to mention the anxiety at the pit of his stomach, the worry.


	11. Chapter 11

The next morning, feeling frankly worse than the night before, Fao called Ely from bed with his new phone and gave her the address. 

She couldn’t drive, and both Alex and Ollie were at work. She text them both to be on the lookout for Henri, and then got the train to Surrey, and a taxi from the station to the gates of Fao’s house. She didn’t even know he owned a place like this, but she tried her best to ignore it all, knocking on his front door. 

He forced himself downstairs to answer the door, stiff and sore and feeling like shit. He fumbled with the lock, but finally got it, letting Ely in.

She shut the door behind her, taking in her friend’s haggard appearance before she pulled him close for a hug. There were no words. 

"Ow, ow, Ely." He whined, extracting himself from her grip. "'m a little delicate."

“Shit, I’m sorry. Come on, show me where to sit down. You need rest.”

He led her to the living room, and attempted to breathe some life into last night's fire. He needed the comfort of a crackling fire. 

She noticed his limp, and how he was favouring his right hand. Which was strange, because he used his left. But soon the fire was roaring and she patted the sofa seat. “Come here. You okay?”

"Not really." He said quietly, sitting next to her. 

“Do you wanna tell me?”

"I swear last night he could have killed me."

“I wouldn’t be surprised.” She said softly. “I’m just glad you’re safe.”

"I'm in so much pain." He replied, voice low. "It feels like some sick joke."

“Have you been to the hospital?”

"No. Came straight here and went to bed."

“Can I take you?” She asked. “You need to go.”

"I'm worried he'll find me. Can't you just have a look?"

She paused, and then nodded. There was no harm in her looking. “Alright. I can’t promise that we won’t end up going, though.”

"Alright." He said softly. 

She offered him a smile. “So, what hurts?” She asked, slipping into a clinical mode. 

"Wrist, stomach, hip."

Ely nodded, and reached out for the arm he hadn’t been using. “Explain the pain to me.” She said. His skin was bruised and despite the support he was wearing, it was limp in a way that told her all she needed to know. 

"God, it's just.... I guess it's an ache now, more than what it was last night. But it's an intense ache." He said, slowly offering her his wrist. 

Her fingers were gentle. “Have you taken painkillers?”

"I took some ibuprofen this morning."

She hummed. “I’m pretty sure it’s broken.”

"I thought so too, I'm just trying to pretend it's not."

She moved her hand to rub his shoulder. “It’ll need seeing to properly. Your ribs? Or just your stomach?”

"Stomach. Below my ribs." He murmured, lifting up his shirt to show her the bruises. 

She hummed sympathetically. “I think it’s just bruises, you’d have known if there was internal damage by now.”

"Because I'd be dead in a ditch." He agreed. "I have no idea what's going on with my hip, though. It's agony."

She met his gaze. “Do you.... do you want to tell me what he did?”

"All...All he did was kick it, I don't know why it's still hurting like it is."

“It’s your bad one, isn’t it?”

He nodded. "He knew, too."

“Oh, Fao.” She said. “I’m sorry. Could you push your pants down a little?”

He nodded, shifting to push them down enough for her to see. "It's been bothering me for ages, but not like this."

It was a mottled mess of bruising, and she couldn’t really tell what was wrong. “I think we need to go to the hospital. I know you’re trying to avoid it, but you need x-rays.”

He sighed, pulling his stuff back up again. "Do you reckon I can give a fake name?"

She shrugged. “I don’t know. You’d have to know someone has a file...”

"My real name, then, and explain what's happened? I don't want to get the police involved if I can help it."

“I think that’s the only hope we’ve got.”

"Fine. Can I shower and get changed first?"

She nodded. “Of course you can. You don’t have to ask.”

He didn't say anything, but nodded and disappeared off to shower and get changed. Luckily he stored loads of clothes here, and easily found a hoodie and some comfortable sweatpants, then slowly limped downstairs. 

"Okay then. Hospital."

She stood. “I’ll drive.”

He nodded, and grabbed his keys. "Here. My insurance will cover you."

She took them. “Good. Nothing like trial by Ferrari, eh?”

He laughed a little. "Break anything and I'll cry. C'mon."

“Be kind to me, I’ve never driven a supercar.”

"It's easy, I did it with a broken wrist." He teased, heading slowly out to the car. 

She couldn’t help her sad smile, but locked up and then got into the driver’s seat. “Any pearls of wisdom for me?”

"Watch your speed, be gentle with her. You'll be fine."

“You sound like an old time sailor talking about his ship.” She teased, starting the engine. She swore she could feel the engine in her bones. 

"She's my baby!" He protested. "Just be careful, she goes quicker than you're expecting."

“Sensitive, then. I’ll try not to break any speed limits.”

"Really sensitive. That speedometer creeps up without you realising."

She set off, taking it slow enough she was sure he’d find it funny. 

"You can drive, can't you?" He teased. “Give it a bit of gas, else my wrist will be healed before we arrive.”

“Of course I can drive! I just haven’t had the time to buy a car, so I don’t think I’ve driven in....” she trailed off as she thought, pulling up at a junction. “Three years, I think it is.”  
`  
“Well, take it easy. Just don’t drive like a twat else someone will rear-end us.”

“Have some trust in me!” She exclaimed. It had been ages since he’d been like this. It was bittersweet. 

“This car is like my child!” He told her, half a smile on his lips. “Take the next right.”

“Thank god you know the way.”

“Well, not the first time I’ve been here.”

“Mmm, I suppose not. It’s nice - didn’t know you had such a big house.” It was almost an old Manor House. She was a little jealous.

“Yeah, it’s a nice house. I’d like to stay there more but I can’t commute in. Besides, Henri doesn’t know I have it. He doesn’t know a lot of things.”

She took her eyes off of the road for a moment, just to glance at him. “Dark horse?” She asked. 

“Something like that. Bit of a family fortune, I’m embarrassed to admit. This car didn’t come from my salary.”

“Oh, not that you don’t get paid a small fortune.” She replied. She was easing up now, becoming more relaxed. 

“I didn’t five years ago when I bought the car.”

She shrugged. “I didn’t know you then.”

"No. But I was a lowly registrar."

“And now you’re high and mighty. Left or right here?”

“Yeah, something like that. Left here.”

She flicked on the indicator and took the turn. It felt strange - she was sure people were looking at them. “So Henri doesn’t know about the house?”

"Not the house or most of the money associated with it. Just a little bit from my dad's estate, which justified the car and stuff. He has money, he wasn't all that interested in mine."

“At least he doesn’t know. I take it you’ve scrapped your card and changed your online banking password?”

"Massive overhaul. I was doing it all in bed this morning. Took out loads of money last night, too."

“Good.” She replied. “I’m not gonna let him near you.”

"I need to think of a way to actually break it off with him. Straight on here."

She carried on. “Just tell him it’s over. No arguments, and don’t let him beg for you back, promise that he’s changed. If he can do this once, he can do it again. You deserve so much better.”

"This isn't the first time he's broken bones, Ely. I just don't know how to do it without him lashing out. All this happened because I was home late."

“I can come with you?” She suggested. “The hospital might get the police involved anyway.”

"No. If I do this there's not going to be any police involvement, no pressing charges. We're doing this independently. And don't get yourself involved, I'm sure he thinks we're fucking."

She frowned. “Why the hell don’t you want to press charges?! He should be in jail, he’s abused you!” And assaulted her. 

“Because the legal battle will be too much to handle. I don’t have the strength for it.”

“Not even with your friends to support you?” She asked. “Because I want him in jail. He tried to rape me and he assaulted me, it’s the least he deserves.”

“I… I don’t know, it’s a lot to think about.” But he paused for a moment. “He assaulted you? When?” 

She bit her lip, focusing on the roundabout she’d just got to. “A few weeks ago. I spoke to you after he tried to forbid it.”

“Oh, Ely. I’m so sorry you’ve gotten tangled up in all of this.”

She shrugged. “It is what it is. And I’m not scared of him.”

“Still.”

“For what it’s worth, I’d support you. Alex too.”

He was quiet for a long time, only giving her directions. “Is Alex stuck at work?” He asked finally.

She didn’t answer. She was too busy pulling into the car park and finding a bay. But she parked, and then sighed heavily. “We broke up. I don’t know if she’s working.”

"You broke up?!"

“Yeah. About three weeks ago, I think.”

"When I had my op?! Ely, why didn't you say anything?!"

“It wasn’t important at the time. It was, uh, that night.”

"But it's important now. Are you guys still friends?"

She killed the engine and turned to him. “Of course we are. It just.... fizzled out.”

"I get that. But I wish you'd have told me."

“I didn’t want to worry you.” She said softly. It had been hard, but she couldn’t tell him that. Not now. 

He hummed. “I’m glad I know now, at least.”

“I didn’t know how to tell you, if I’m honest.”

“Shall we get this over with? I’m tired and wanna go home.”

She nodded. “Let’s. You ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

She opened her car door, quickly moving around to open his. “No matter how long it takes, I’m staying with you, alright?”

He rolled his eyes. “Honestly, you’re too much.”

“I’m your friend.”

“More than that, you’re my ride home.”

She couldn’t help but laugh. “So I am. It’s a nice car, maybe I’ll save up for one.”

He smiled. “It’s a lot of fun.” He said, as they headed inside.

“When I have time to even look for a car.” She said, following him and making sure he walked slowly. 

He was still limping a little as he walked in, and gave his details at reception before the both of them sat to wait, Fao’s good leg bouncing nervously.

She reached over, patting it gently and hoping it wouldn’t set him off. “You’re gonna be fine, okay?” She soothed gently, aware that her years of good bedside manner were making an appearance. 

He glanced over at her, and then shifted to rest his head on her shoulder. “I know. I just get anxious.”

“You’re a big bad surgeon, you can deal with a couple of pretty nurses.” She teased. 

He rolled his eyes. “Aw, shut up.”

“No, it’s true.”

“I should sort stuff at work.” He mumbled.

“Don’t worry about that now.”

“I could get a disciplinary.”

“You should get a restraining order.”

“I’m not going through the courts, Ely.”

She sighed. “It’s the best way to keep him away from you. Otherwise, what’s to stop him? I might work with you a lot but I’m no good at throwing punches.”

He made a soft noise. “I know it is, I just don’t have the energy to fight him.”

“In time, then. You need to get sorted first.”

“In time, I’ll think about it.”

She smiled. “Good. Doesn’t look too busy, does it?”

“Nah, but who knows what’s going on in resus.”

“You’re so practical.” She said, reaching up to play with his hair. 

He laughed. “Well, it’s the day to day, isn’t it?”

“Of course it is. Wonder if I’ll get a registrar soon.”

“Or even an F2.” He teased.

Ely shrugged. “Maybe. It’s be good, to pass on my knowledge.”

“Yeah. Training is really fun, I’ve always enjoyed it.” He murmured. Eventually, he was called, triaged, and sent for x-rays. They were taken, both his wrist and his hip, and then they just had to wait for the results. He was even more nervous now, they’d been there for hours and his wrist was still agony. He hoped things wouldn’t take too much longer.

It didn't take much longer. Ely was going stir crazy next to him, impatient for someone to tell them what they all knew. Finally, the registrar who was seeing to him came back to the cubicle, and the look on his face told Ely all she needed to know.

"I'm sorry, Dr Blackwood, but you have a badly fractured wrist."

"So, you'll reduce it and stick a cast on?" Fao asked, vain hope in his voice. 

He shook his head. "No. It needs to be plated."

"Oh, you're kidding. You don't think you can reduce it closed?"

"It's a pretty bad break."

He rolled his eyes. "Show me the x-ray?"

The registrar did as he was told, lifting it up to the lightbox.

Fao stood up, frowning at it (his glasses were at Henri's) and his shoulders slumped in defeat. There was no way a closed reduction would take care of it. "Fine."

Ely stood up next to him, and took his good hand to squeeze his fingers. "I'll be here."

"This is so fucking shit." He grumbled. "I'm gonna have to ring Ollie."

"I know. But we wanna get it sorted, right?"

"Yeah, I'd just rather not have surgical intervention." He murmured, then turned to the registrar. "So, I'll be seeing your ortho team, then. And I doubt things are moving fast so you'll need to reduce and then cast it temporarily."

"That's right, though we'd like to get you seen to sooner rather than later."

He nodded. "Right. Thanks."

"I don't think it will be long until you're seen."

"I can wait, it's okay." He said. "But whilst you're here was the pelvic x-ray clear?"

He nodded. "It was."

"Great, thanks."

"We may admit you, if there's a bed." He warned. "Just in case your girlfriend wants to go get you some things.”

“Oh, uh, she’s not my girlfriend.” He said quickly. “And I’m willing to bet there are no beds yet.”

"We never say never, Dr Blackwood."

"Ah, but I know the NHS. Go on, I'm sure you've got plenty to do, don't let me keep you."

"Someone should be over shortly." He said, and vanished.

With the registrar gone, Fao flopped down on the bed with a sigh. "Just my luck. Henri drags me into a theatre once more."

Ely sat down next to him. "It'll be fine."

"Yeah, of course you'd say that. It's just really frustrating."

"I know."

"I've basically just recovered."

She sighed. “I know.”

"Not what I needed." He murmured, leaning against her. "At least the pelvic x-ray was clear."

“And you’ve got me. I’ll look after you.”

"Yeah. Looks like you're going to be getting stuff from the house for me."

“I don’t mind.”

"Thank you."

She nudged him gently. “Anything, honestly.”

"Hopefully I won't be waiting long. That or I'm gonna need some painkillers pretty soon."

“I’m sure it won’t be long.”

"Mmm, hope not." He said quietly. "Though I should be careful with opiates. Actually, I should tell them.... Henri normally does...." As daft as it was, Fao felt a little lost in hospital without Henri. He'd always been at every appointment, every surgery. Now he wasn't, it was strange. 

She took his hand. “Does he sort everything for you?”

"Yeah, when it comes to doctors and hospitals and stuff he sorts everything. It's been like that since my accident. He was always switched on when my head was full of crap."

“Well, I can help you. No opiates, right?” Her mind was already whirling - she knew what she’d give him. 

"I can have some but... Not too many. I'm sensitive. And no morphine, because it makes me really ill."

She hummed, clearly in thought. "I'll suggest ketamine to them. Have you eaten?"

He shook his head. "Ketamine just for the manipulation? It's pretty strong for general use."

"I saw that x-ray. It's going to hurt like a bitch."

"Yeah. It'll need a lot of sorting."

"Better to be safe than sorry."

"But I'll hardly be on ketamine all day. Ibuprofen will be fine after that."

"No, not all day. But for the manipulation."

“Yeah. That’s okay. Is it stupid I miss him? He did this to me, and all I want is him to be here.”

Ely shook her head. "No, it's not."

“He’s always been here.” He said quietly. “But I’m sorry you have to stay here for longer. I was hoping we’d be able to go home.”

She made a sympathetic noise. "You need someone to be by your side through all of this. I'm sure it won't be much longer."

“Hope not.” He mumbled. “They’re probably trying to find an ortho registrar that wants to do it.”

"Probably. We can get something to eat after this?"

“After I go home? Because I doubt I’ll be eating anything any time soon.”

"If that's what you want." She agreed.

“We’ll see. There’s not much food in the house, for obvious reasons.”


	12. Chapter 12

Not too long after, a couple of ortho registrars arrived and introduced themselves, stating they’d be doing the manipulation to keep the break in a good position whilst they waited to find him a theatre slot and a bed. So Fao just stretched out on the bed and closed his eyes whilst one of them went about getting IV access.

Ely was sad next to him, not really able to comfort him. But she watched as they found a vein - she’d already made sure they knew not to give him opiates, and now it was just a case of sorting him out. 

With the ketamine administered, they gave it a few minutes to work by laying out what they’d need. Now she could get in, Ely turned to Fao. 

“How’re you feeling?”

Fao grinned. “So good. This shit is amazing.”

She couldn’t help but laugh. “Never been on it before?”

“Dunno.” He said thickly. “But you have amazin’ eyes. So blue.”

She raised her eyebrows at him, well aware of the warmth on her cheeks and hoping he wouldn’t notice. “Well, thank you. Not sure you should be talking like that right now.”

“Mmm, why not? They’re pretty. I’d rather look at you than what’s gonna happen to me.” He could feel the doctors carefully checking over his wrist and discussing what they needed to do, though he didn’t pay much attention to it.

“Because we’ve both just broken up with our partners.” She chided gently. “Though if it keeps you distracted I’m sure I can cope for a few minutes.”

“‘M not tryin’ to fuck you, jus’ give you a compliment.” He mumbled. “Hold my hand?”

She laughed again. “To be honest, I don’t think you’re up for it anyway.”

“‘m a bit busy.” He said thickly, reaching out for her. 

“Okay, Fao, we’re going to start now. Just relax, we’ll be as quick as we can.” One of the registrars said. 

Fao nodded, and twisted a little to look at Ely. “Tell me a dumb story.”

“What, about me?” She replied, holding his hand. “I don’t do dumb stories, you know that.”

“Anythin’. C’mon, use your good beside manner.” He whined, as both doctors grasped his wrist and arm and got ready to realign the bones.

She smiled. “I messed about in uni once and ate too many edibles.”

He giggled. “You did? Did you think you were gonna die?” He asked, and went to go on when they started to manipulate and he cried out, though tried to stay still. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck.” He whined.

She soothed him, brushing his hair from his face. “C’mon, look at me. I did think I was gonna die, I think I spent the whole night sobbing.”

He whined. “Ah, hurts so bad. Fuck.” He could feel the bones moving, the pain intensifying. “T-tell me more?”

“More? I didn’t know they were edibles, and I’d been really craving brownies. Think I ate half the tray, and I refused to go to lectures for three days. Spent the time in bed berating myself. My friends laughed at me.”

He tried to breathe deeply. “Reallly? That’s - ow - funny. Jesus, fuck.”

“Yeah. What dicks, right?”

“I’d laugh.” He mumbled, as there was another long pull and then his wrist was released. Fao sighed. 

“Alright, we’re going to get an x-ray of this and then hopefully we’ll get it in a cast and then you’ll just wait for a theatre slot.”

He nodded. “‘kay.”

Ely squeezes his fingers again. “That’s the worst bit done with.”

“Maybe.” He said quietly, as the doctors set up for a portable x-ray, then ushered Ely out with them whilst it was taken. With that done, they just had to wait a little while, and then returned to tell him they were happy with the placement. So now they just had to wait for someone to come and sort his cast out. Laid on the bed trying to keep still, Fao grinned at Ely. 

“You’re the best. Ever had weed since?”

She shook her head. “No. It’s illegal.”

He rolled his eyes. “Boring. You should try again, it’s good. Not as good as this though. This is amazin’. Feel like ‘m floatin’ on a cloud.”

“Well, you’re not having any more.”

He frowned. “m sorry.”

“Why?”

“For havin’ some. I didn’t need it, shouldn’t have had it. ‘m sorry, I know I won’t have anymore.”

She was frowning now. “Don’t talk like that. You needed it. I just don’t want you having too much. It’s strong stuff, people use it as an illegal drug.”

“I know. ‘m sorry.” He whimpered. “‘m so so sorry, I know I need to be careful. Gonna get addicted, can’t get addicted.”

“Oh, Fao. Dont get upset.”

“I’ve upset you, ‘m sorry. It’ll wear off soon, I know.”

“You haven’t.” She told him. “I’m not upset, or angry. You don’t have to apologise. I just meant you wont be getting any more because they’ll send you home with something else.”

“Y-yeah. Sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m here to look after you. How about chicken noodle soup when we’re done here?”

“Mmm, want something less healthy. Fried chicken.” He mumbled.

“You don’t want to try my mums magic soup?”

"Nah, grease and chips."

She grinned. “Then that’s what we’ll have.”

"Thanks." He said, closing his eyes. "I should ring Ollie. Wish I could send him my x-ray."

He didn't get much further in his quest to ring his friend, because a nurse came in to carefully cast his wrist. She chatted brightly to him, as the ketamine wore off, and before long he was totally back with it. Things started to hurt again but he ignored it, sitting up, and he was allowed to sip some water whilst they looked for somewhere to admit him to wait for surgery, as apparently most of the surgical team were taken up with various emergencies and hadn't had a chance to review his x-rays. After a long while of silence, he turned to Ely. 

"Can you go get me stuff? God knows how long I'll be waiting, but this phone is shit and I've got nothing to change into. Plus, I'll be dying to brush my teeth later. You've got my car keys and the house keys, and I can give you some money to buy me a new phone?"

She nodded. “If that’s what you want. I was gonna wait with you until you got a bed.”

"It'll be hours. I'm sure by the time you get back I'll still be here."

“Alright. Don’t do anything silly like flirt with that nurse, eh?” She joked. “Because I want her to myself.”

"She's all yours." He said with a grin. "I'm probably gonna nap, but ring me if you need."

“I will do.”

"Go on, then. Don't ruin my car, eh?"

“Like I’d do that.” She said, taking his wallet out of his pocket. 

"You better not. And get a proper phone, yeah? I don't care if you spend a grand, none of that android shit."

She laughed. “Alright, alright, I’ll get you the latest iPhone.”

“And a SIM. There’s a card in my wallet, Henri doesn’t know about the account. The PIN is my birthday.”

“Alright. Unlimited everything?”

“As much as you can get.” He said with a small smile.

“Any cool accessories while I’m out?”

"Whatever you want." He said with a shrug. 

“A case, a screen protector and a power bank, then.” She decided. 

"Sure. God knows how long I'll be here for."

She beamed at him. “I shouldn’t be too long, though I hope you don’t mind if I go get some stuff for myself. I didn’t intend on staying long but if you’re having surgery you need someone to look after you.”

"You're welcome to anything of mine at the house, but feel free to buy yourself something whilst you're out. Once I'm out of here you can head back to London."

She shook her head. “While you’re still recovering? Not a chance.”

"Surely you've got work soon? It's fine, stay the time you have to stay because of anaesthesia and then get your arse home."

“I’m sure I can work it out between me, Alex and Ollie.” She said. “You’ll need help.”

“It’s just a wrist, Ely. I’ll be able to cope.”

“It’s your dominant hand.” She replied. “We’ll help you. You can’t tell us no, you know how stubborn Alex is.”

“I’ll just become ambidextrous.”

“You’ll let us help.” She said, shoving his wallet into her pocket. 

He rolled his eyes. “Fine. Go on, get going. There’s a shopping centre about ten minutes away.”

“Won’t be long.” She said brightly, and paused before she headed off. Thankfully, the shopping centre was easy to find, and not too busy. She felt rather conspicuous in the Ferrari, so she hurried to get some clothes for herself and what Fao wanted, before she returned to his house and packed a bag for him. There was hardly any food in, she’d have to get some. It was about an hour and a half before she returned to the hospital and went to find her friend. He still didn’t have a bed, and she sat down next to him. 

“Nothing happened?”

“Fuck all, though I did have some paracetamol.”

She smiled. “Has it helped?”

“A bit, yeah. Think I can still feel a little bit of the ketamine.”

“You probably can.”

“I’m pretty tired. What time is it?”

She pulled out her phone. “It’s getting to five. Doubt I’m gonna be able to get you some fried chicken.”

He shrugged. “After my op, it’ll be fine.” He told her. It didn’t take long before a nurse came to tell them that they had a bed for Fao on an ortho ward, and that he’d be able to head up there now. Grateful that he hadn’t had to wait too long, Fao got up and gathered up his things, before heading up to the ward with Ely. He found his bed, thankfully in a quiet corner, and he settled down to wait. He doubted he’d get his surgery today, likely he’d have to wait until tomorrow.

She started putting his things away, and passed him his new phone. “Here. I hope this is alright for you.”

“It’s perfect, thank you.” He said, taking it from her and awkwardly starting to set it up. He’d get in contact with Ollie and Alex soon, tell them he’d not dropped off the face of the earth. They deserved to know.

“I let Alex and Ollie know this morning.” She said softly, watching him. It had been a tense call with her now-ex, full of awkward silences and unspoken apologies. Neither of them had said it, but Ely knew they were both wondering if Henri had played a hand in their breakup. 

“But not that I’m stuck in hospital, though.”

“Yeah, I haven’t thought about it.” She admitted. 

"I'll text them, it's fine." He murmured, pausing to push some of his hair from his face. "You reckon they'll let me eat tonight or keep starving me?"

“You can eat until midnight, I reckon.”

"We'll have to ask. They gave me IV paracetamol just in case."

“I doubt they’ll operate at this time. Unfortunately, you’re not urgent. It’ll be tomorrow.”

"Yeah. There's clean sheets on the guest bed at home and you're more than welcome to order food to there if you want."

"You're trying to get rid of me." She joked.

"Just telling you. It's gonna be a long wait."

"I can stay with you a little longer." She'd grabbed something quick to eat while she'd been out.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

He smiled. "Alright. But you gotta go home sometime."

"I will, promise. When you start nodding off."

"You might be waiting a long time."

"With you having had ket? Nah." She replied, smiling softly.

"It's gone, you know it doesn't last long."

"Yeah, but you look exhausted.”

“Doesn’t mean I’ll sleep, honestly."

She patted his arm. "I think you will.”

“I sleep like crap at the best of times, there’s no way I’ll sleep tonight. Not in pain and in hospital.”

"Do you need some stronger painkillers?”

“No, I really shouldn’t. I have to be careful.”

"Have you had any ibuprofen?”

“I’ll need to eat first, I’ve not had anything all day. That, or have some omeprazole or something.”

"I'll ask someone for you." She said, standing up. "Do you want more water?"

“What I want is food.”

"I know, I know. I'll sneak you something from the vending machine.”

“You’re amazing.”

She winked at him. "I know I am. Might be a couple of minutes extra, I'm just gonna nip outside." She said, pulling the packet of cigarettes out of her pocket to pull one out and leave the box in her bag.

He whined. “I really fucking hate you. I want a fag so bad. But since when do you smoke? Did you pick it up from Taylor?”

She paused. "I don't smoke.”

“Then what the fuck are you doing with a cigarette? So unfair, you’re the worst.”

She blushed. "I sort of just.... stand with them in my mouth." She admitted. "Alex took the piss out of me for it.”

“Mmm, just gimme one? I’m dyin’.”

Ely shook her head. "No. You might have surgery tomorrow, I'm not letting you smoke.”

“God, you’re so mean. One cigarette won’t kill me.”

"I'm looking out for you." She said.

“You’re mean. Go on, go. Be a fake smoker.”

She laughed. "I'm just a coward who doesn't dare light them. But it's easy to pretend. Relaxing.”

“I’ve got a lighter on me if you wanna stop being a coward.”

"Uh, no. I know how bad these things are.”

He laughed. “Go on, then.”

She grinned at him and left. She was gone for ten, maybe fifteen minutes, and returned with a bar of chocolate from the vending machine, and a sandwich from the coffee shop in the lobby. He eventually persuaded her to go back to his house, and she did as she was told, promising to be back bright and early. Even with the time, she had a little look around, before settling in the guest bedroom. It was weird, to be in such a big house on her own.


	13. Chapter 13

Ely slept decently, and hurried back for half seven in the morning. She didn't know if Fao was up, but she wanted to be there before he went down - if he went down. When she got there, he was talking with his anaesthetist, and she hung back for a second until they'd done, and then sat down.

"Feeling alright?" She asked brightly.

Fao had barely slept a wink, still in pain and his anxiety through the roof. He hated being stuck in hospital, and they wouldn’t let him out to have a smoke. His anaesthetist was round early that morning, but having not slept he didn’t mind. When he was finished talking he noticed Ely, and flashed her a smile. 

“Hi. Nervous as hell, but not too bad.” He murmured. “Hopefully I don’t get cancelled."

"I don't think you will. Seen your surgeon yet?”

“Not yet, I’m not even sure if they’re in yet.”

"It is early." She agreed. "I think Alex is gonna swing by later.”

“Oh, it’ll be nice to see her.” He said softly.

"Yeah, it will." It had been so hard to talk to her, knowing what they used to have.

“Are you gonna take care of yourself whilst she’s here?” He asked, dragging his good hand through his hair. 

"What sort of question is that?”

“You refused to leave until nearly ten last night, it’s a required question.” He said.

"I was keeping you company!”

“You were being stubborn.”

She shrugged. "Maybe I was. Maybe I didn't want to go back to your mansion of a home on my own. It's like a castle.”

“Piss off, it’s not a castle. It’s a nice house.” 

"It's basically a castle." She insisted. "Of course I'll take care of myself. We might have broken up but I'm fine.”

“You’re definitely going to hide, aren’t you?”

“No!"

“I bet you are! She’ll turn up and you’ll excuse yourself and go home for a shower and stuff.”

She shook her head. "I wouldn't do that." That was precisely the plan. Really, she needed more clothes.

“When are you planning on going back to London?”

She shrugged. "Dunno yet. I've got another few days off." Almost the truth. She'd hastily booked a week off.

“Okay. I’ll probably need to sort my car insurance so you can drive my car properly.”

Ely frowned. "You don't need to do that, I can get the train.”

“Don’t be daft. My premiums are expensive anyway, you won’t make a difference. And I’d rather not leave it idle for six weeks or however long it takes me to heal.”

She sighed. "Alright, fine. Just because I know you'll do it anyway.”

“Of course I will. Can’t have you driving uninsured.”

"You assume I'll be driving it everywhere.”

“Of course you will. You love it.” He teased with a smile.

"I'll admit that I do." She said.

“You’ll definitely have to save for your own, then.”

She couldn't help but laugh. "As if I'll ever be able to afford it!”

“Of course you will!”

"I prefer Jags." She replied.

“Yeah?”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

"There's nothing stopping you." He said simply, as a doctor rounded the corner and approached his bed. He could only assume she was his surgeon before she spoke. 

"Hi. Callie Torres, I'm gonna be doing your surgery this morning, Dr Blackwood."

"Nice to meet you. Call me Fao though, please."

Ely grinned. “You should call him Major.”

"Fuck off, Ely, I've not been a major in years." Fao retorted, but Callie was grinning. 

"If that's what I'm calling him, what am I calling you?"

She shrugged. “You can call my number.”

Fao reached out to slap her. "Ew! Stop it, oh my god!" He protested. But the surgeon was still grinning. 

"Sure thing. You gonna give it to me?"

“If you do a good job on my friend.” Ely shot back. “Prove your worth.”

"Oh, I like that. Bit of a challenge never hurt anyone." She said with a grin. "I'll swing by later with an x-ray for proof. First I need to do my job, though." She was holding forms for Fao to sign, and asked if she could sit on the bed before she did so, talking Fao through the operation.

Ely grinned right back. Callie was pretty, and there was something about her attitude that Ely liked. 

Once they finished talking and Fao had (awkwardly) signed the consent, Callie left with a quick wink in Ely's direction, and Fao rounded on his friend.

"You utter whore!"

“What?” Ely replied. “I did nothing wrong!”

"No, but you very nearly spread your legs."

“I did not!”

"You did. You'd have done anything she'd asked."

“No I wouldn’t!” She protested. 

"Don't lie, you were practically drooling. Come on, help me get changed."

She huffed, unfolding the gown. “She was pretty. So what?”

"I didn't say there was anything wrong with it, did I? I just said you're a whore." He pointed out, carefully pulling his t-shirt off. 

“If you’re implying it’s too soon....” it was, really. 

"Do what you want, or who you want. Doesn't bother me." He mumbled, glancing down at the bruising across his stomach, which had started to change colours, becoming a dark, ugly mess.

She moved forwards, draping the gown over him and hiding the bruises from view. Her fingers brushed his neck as she tied it. “Do you think it’s too soon? It’s only been a few weeks.”

"It honestly doesn't bother me. It's your decision, not mine."

“That’s not what I asked.” She replied, her fingers stilling. “I was with her for two years. I shouldn’t be moving on so fast, it’s insulting.”

"Moving on quickly doesn't mean anything at all. You're allowed to enjoy yourself after a break up. Alex is only going to care if you do what I did and end up with completely the wrong person."

“I guess.”

"Look, I've been in your position, I broke up with Alex years ago. What you do after a relationship doesn't discredit anything that happened in the relationship."

“She didn’t want to break up.” Ely all but whispered. 

"Nobody wants to break up. It sucks. Was it a mutual split in the end, though?"

“Sort of. Things had been.... weird. Strained. But Alex wanted to try and I didn’t.”

"That's just Alex. She's a stubborn cunt. Don't think too much of it. Flirt a little, get my surgeon's number, enjoy yourself. It's not like you have to commit to anything."

She hummed. “That’s true. Sorry, I’m being a downer when you need me.”

"Oh, shush. You're keeping me distracted." He said, sitting down to slip his trackies off. 

“Doing alright?”

"I've been better." He said, sighing. 

“Getting them off okay?”

"Yeah, I'm getting good with one hand." He said, setting them down on his bag before he settled back on the bed. 

“Stockings, then.” 

"Those I can't do with one hand. Help me?"

“Of course, silly.” She teased, kneeling down. She used the plastic wrapper the stockings came in to slide them over his feet. “There, easy."

"I'd tell you I'm impressed but that's not the first time I've seen that trick." He said with a sad smile. 

It didn't take long before he got his pre-medication, and he just had to wait for that to kick in before they took him down. He was stretched out on the bed with his eyes closed, trying to relax himself. 

Ely took his hand. “Why don’t you breathe with me?”

"'m fine, I just need these meds to work."

“Try it anyway?”

He opened his eyes to look up at her. "Alright."

She smiled encouragingly at him. “So in, slowly.”

He copied her, feeling daft. He knew the medication wouldn't take too long, but it needed a chance to work to at least stop him from having a panic attack when he got downstairs.

“And out. That’s amazing, you’re doing so well.”

He rolled his eyes. "I love you to bits, but you're such an anaesthetist sometimes."

“Well, that is my job. Breathe in again, push your stomach out with it. When we’re anxious, we don’t breathe properly.”

"Think I'm not breathing properly because I'm bruised and sore." He pointed out, but carefully managed his breaths, letting his eyes close again. 

“There’s that too. It’s important that you breathe from the diaphragm.”

"I'm a singer, I can breathe from the diaphragm."

“Show me.”

He did, wincing ever so slightly as the movement made him sore. "Honestly, can't you just chat about something and I'll just listen?"

“If you focused this night help.”

"I'm sorry, it just feels odd. Only because it's you."

“Too clinical?” She asked. “Or because you’re used to.....”

"Too clinical." He answered. "Jus'... Talk about random shit, I don't care what."

“I don’t know any random shit.”

"Yeah you do. You know loads of anaesthesia crap. Talk about varying doses and interactions and protocols, anything."

So she did, rambling on about god knows what. Fao didn't listen properly, but it was enough to distract him and let him relax. The meds took effect soon enough and he gave Ely a quick hug before they took him to theatre. He was nervous but drugged up enough not to overreact as they sorted him out. Before he knew it there was a mask over his face and the whole world went black. 

Once he'd gone down, Ely left the hospital. There were things to do, and it was better than sitting around the hospital letting her mind get ahead of her. She went to the nearest supermarket and bought enough food to stock up the fridge, and took that back to the house, where she did her best to clean the main rooms they'd be using. By the time she'd done, she decided Fao should have been out of surgery and recovery, and back on the ward. He wouldn't remember that she hadn't been there when he got back, she was sure.

Except when she got to the ward and turned the corner to his bed, she found someone else had gotten there first.

Even from behind, it was impossible not to recognise Alex. Ely stopped dead, staring at the back of her ex's head. It hadn't hit her that she'd been seeing her - not properly. Her mouth was dry and she felt like her feet had grown roots that had stuck her in place. 

Fao came round in the careful care of some lovely nurses, heavy and warm, and they helped him stay comfortable whilst he struggled with the nausea. Eventually it subsided, and he was moved back up to the ward. Almost as soon as he arrived he went to sleep, and he was woken a little while later by Alex. He was a little confused but grateful to see her, and they had a short chat before he noticed Ely appear on the ward, notice Alex sprawled out in the chair with her feet up and stop dead. He made eye contact with her, urging her over. She couldn't avoid this forever, and if he had opportunity he'd fix it. 

Ely swallowed thickly, biting down on her bottom lip. The need to be with Fao won out, only just, and she continued over. However, she didn't look at her ex-girlfriend, instead focusing on Fao.

"How're you feeling?"

"Like crap." He murmured. "It'll pass. Come sit, you can perch on the end."

She did so, still not looking at Alex. "You should be sleeping it off, not trying to stay awake."

"Well, I had company." He replied, and Alex spoke up. 

"Are you gonna say hi, or pretend I don't exist?"

She was aware she was blushing. Her confidence when she'd been flirting with Fao's surgeon was long gone. "I'm not pretending you don't exist."

"You seem to be. It's okay, I should have told you that I was coming up today. But still, it'd be nice if you actually looked at me instead of Fao's ugly mug."

She couldn’t help but smile, though she looked down at her lap. “He needs us.”

"I'm fine. You two should talk." Fao said, shifting a little under the sheets. 

“There’s nothing to talk about. It was mutual.” Ely protested. 

"Acknowledge that you're still friends then. Come on, I know you're freaking out, and I'm still high on God knows what." He said firmly. 

"I'm not mad we broke up, Ely. It was the right decision."

“I’m not freaking out!” She protested. “And I know it was the right thing to do. You know we’re friends.”

"Friends actually look at each other." Alex pointed out. 

"Yeah, and you don't look like you want to run away when you see a friend. Honestly, I could smack your heads together right now."

“Well, sorry, I wasn’t expecting anyone to be at your bedside.” She grumbled. 

"Tough. Look, you two have gotta work it out, think of poor Zeus."

"He misses you, Ely."

She glanced up. “I miss him too. But moving him from flat to flat is hardly fair. He’s more your dog than mine anyway.”

"You can still come visit and walk him, and he could stay weekends sometimes."

“Maybe.”

"Come on, Ely, you don't need to close yourself off to me. Why don't I go grab some coffee, you can spend some time with Fao before he falls asleep again." Alex said, getting up and ruffling Fao's hair. "See you later, dumbass."

“Alright.” She said softly. It wasn’t like she was trying to be awkward. 

Alex left, and Fao rolled his eyes at Ely. "You're such a pussy!"

“I’m not!”

"You are. You better talk to her when she comes back." He said. "But I assume as you're here you've come to fuss over me, so fuss away."

“I’m not trying to be weird about it, you know.”

"You're making it weird, though. She's your friend. Act like it."

“I know she is. But it’s the first time I’ve seen her since....”

"I know, I know. It's awkward. Did you do anything interesting this morning?"

She shook her head. “I bought some food and cleaned. You should be resting, not talking. I’m surprised you sound so lucid.”

"A lot of practice." He said. "Keep talking through until you fall asleep, is the method." 

“You should just fall asleep anyway.”

"Why do that when I can spend time with you." He pointed out. "I'll sleep later."

“If you say so.”

"Mmm, I do say so. Pass me my phone? I should text Ollie."

She picked it up and passed it over. “Is it good enough for you?”

"My phone? It's perfect." He said, taking it and slowly texting his friend struggling to type properly. What he sent was full of typos but Fao didn't have the energy to change them and so just sent it. That done, he set his phone down and sighed, closing his eyes. "What food did you buy? Do I owe you money?"

She shook her head. “I used your card. If anything, I owe you. Hope you don’t mind.”

"Not at all. Means I don't have to pay you back." He murmured, yawning. 

“I figured you’d insist.”

"Course I would."

She could tell how close he was to falling asleep, so she moved from the bed. “I know you too well.”

“Mmm, you do.”

“Go on, sleep. I’ll talk to Alex, promise.”

“I don’t wanna sleep.”

“You’re halfway there.”

“Nah, ‘m good.”

She shook her head fondly. “You should listen to anaesthetists.”

“Mmm, no. You’re jus’ a friend.”

“I’m an anaesthetist too. Sleep, you need it.”

“Not my an-anaesthetist.” He mumbled, stumbling over the word.

“Not the point.” She said, tucking the blanket around him. 

He huffed and shifted a little in bed. “Go an’ find ‘Lex. I’ll sleep.”

“I’m gonna, don’t worry.”

“Good.” He mumbled thickly, slipping into sleep.

She sat there for a minute or so, making sure he was asleep, and then left him to rest. She could do with a cup of tea, and maybe a sandwich from the cafe. She could come up to see him again before she left in the evening. 

She was nearing the cafe when she saw Alex up ahead, with two cups of steaming drink. Presumably, one was for her. 

“He’s sleeping.” She said as she reached the other woman. 

Alex raised her eyebrows. “You managed to get him to sleep?”

“More like he couldn’t keep his eyes open anyway.”

That made her smile. “Sounds like Fao. Should we head back down to the cafe and give him some peace?”

“I think that’s a good idea.”

She nodded, and turned around to head downstairs again. She wasn’t quite sure what to say as they found a table in the crappy hospital café. She sipped her coffee, quiet.

“Guess we finally got proof.”

Ely nodded. “Yeah. Fao thought Henri was going to kill him.”

“Wish we’d been able to do something sooner.”

"I do too. But I'm not letting Henri near him again.”

“Never. He’s done enough. I thought I was done with seeing Fao in hospital.”

She sighed, reaching for the tea that had turned out to be her's, just as she'd thought. "I did too. It was... it was bad, 'Lex. He's got plates in it, it looked almost crushed.”

“Did he tell you how it happened?”

"He was home late and Henri lost it. That's all I know.”

“Alright. I’m not surprised it needed plates if it was crushed. Saw a lot of injuries like that overseas.”

She sipped her tea, not meeting her eyes. "He's pretty bruised, and he said his hip hurts but there's nothing on the x-rays.”

“Soft tissue, probably. Physically, he’ll be okay.”

"I hope so.”

“I just don’t know what his head will be like now. He was bad enough before.”

Ely shrugged. "I don't know. He freaked out yesterday when he was on ket - I told him he couldn't have any more, just because he didn't need any more, and he started apologising. And he asked me if it's wrong to miss him.”

“Henri’s been with him for years. I think that’s the problem. All of Fao’s issues happened coming out of the Army, and Henri was so present then. Hell, I even liked him. He took care of Fao, spent virtually every day in hospital with him. As far as I know he was there for every scan, every appointment, every surgery. No wonder Fao misses him.”

"Seems like a long game to me," she replied, "but he's got us now. There's no fucking way I'm letting him get hurt again.”

“Good. But I think we need to talk about us for a bit.”

"I don't know what there is to talk about."

"Things are weird. I want to clear the air, y'know?"

"We haven't seen each other since we broke up." Ely pointed out.

"I wanna get back to friends, none of this awkward crap. Can we just agree to leave it behind us?"

"I'm trying," she said softly, "I really am. It's just.... it's hard."

"Yeah, I know. But for Fao's sake, at least? I'm not gonna be here forever, I've got to work, but I want to work something out. I want to see the both of you."

"Yeah. I, uh, may have flirted with Fao's surgeon......" She admitted, trailing off. She really didn't think it would go anywhere.

"Oh my god, did you?! That's brilliant."

"Yeah. She was really pretty. Asked what to call me and I said 'my number'." She said, blushing.

"You're such a flirt, Lozier." She teased. "That's one hell of a pickup line."

"I don't know where it came from!"

"It's brilliant is what it is. Go for it, get some action."

"You don't think it's too quick?" She asked.

"Maybe a little quick for something super serious, but a hook up? Go for it."

Ely smiled. "I didn't want to insult you."

"Never. Go get fucked, it can't hurt."

"Maybe I will." It had been ages since she'd had anything but her fingers for company.

"There's nothing stopping you." Alex pointed out. 

"Except myself."

"Exactly."

She shrugged. "We'll see."

Fao slept for a couple of hours whilst Ely and Alex chatted in the café and then decided to get proper food. There was a cute little Italian not far from the hospital so that's where they went. Fao was woken by his surgeon before they came back, was showed his post-op x-ray, and then chatted through the surgery. He agreed she'd done a very neat job and gave her Ely's number with a grin, stating she could 'do with some stress relief'. Not long after she'd left Ely and Alex returned, and spent the evening with him before Alex went back to London and Ely headed back to the house.


	14. Chapter 14

The next morning Fao was checked over, told he was going to be discharged that day, and so moved from the ward to the lounge to wait. Once everyone was happy he was good to go, he collected his prescription (with a lot of medication he didn't intend to take) and then Ely took him home. It was still odd, being driven in his own car, but it was nice to have Ely to help him out. 

"You know, I really am getting used to your car." Ely commented.

"I'm gonna struggle to get it off of you when I'm healed, aren't I?"

"Something like that."

"We can share? I'm, uh, gonna need somewhere to stay when I'm allowed to work, and Henri doesn't know where your new place is..."

She shot a smile at him. It was quick, because she had to keep her eyes on the road. "Of course you can with me."

"Are you sure? It'll only be a couple of weeks until I can find somewhere for myself..."

"I'm very sure. It's one bed but I've got a sofa bed, you can have my bed." He'd need it.

"Oh, I don't mind the sofa bed."

"You're not sleeping on a sofa bed if you're a recovering guest."

"I'm not going back until I can go to work, I won't be recovering."

She rolled her eyes. "In a different way, you will be. You can have my bed."

"We'll work it out at the time. Got at least six weeks yet."

Ely hummed. "Fine. But I'm sticking to my guns."

"You can stick all you like." He replied cheekily.

"You'll just have to be okay with pink sheets."

"I can take it, I'm a man. You put up with my dull sheets."

"I suppose I do.”

“I’d say buy more but it’s not really worth it.”

"I'm sure I can survive. It's a nice house, after all.”

“Don’t think it’s a castle anymore?”

She changed gear smoothly. "Not quite a castle, but it's bloody massive.”

“It’s just a house. Snooped round my childhood bedroom yet?”

"Actually, I haven't. Would you rather I did?”

“I figured your curiosity would win you over.”

"I'm not going to intrude on your childhood." She replied.

“Well, you’re welcome to have a snoop. Might give you a giggle.”

She smiled, pushing the brake as they reached a corner. "It might. Do you still fit in the bed?”

“Yeah. I had a double.” He said lightly.

"I meant lengthways." She teased. "You must have been tiny then.”

He snorted. “I was, but it’s hardly that much of a change. I fit.”

"Maybe I'll have a snoop.”

“By all means.”

"No doubt you'll snoop around my flat.”

“Hardly as exciting as where I grew up.”

They arrived at the gate and she laughed. "Definitely true."

He stretched a little, sighing. "Making better memories."

"You need those."

"Yeah."

She hummed again, pulling up in the drive. "Ollie's coming over tomorrow. I've got to work."

"That's okay."

"Do you mind if I take your car? Only it'll be faster than getting the train there and back."

"Oh, go ahead. I'm not using it."

She grinned toothily at him. "I really should buy my own."

"I don't mind you using mine for a while."

"I know. But now I'm stuck getting the tube, given I'm not with Alex any more." She said, killing the engine and getting up.

"Well, when I'm fixed up I'll give you a lift when we're on shift together."

"You're a star."

"But by all means buy a car."

"We could have a look?" She suggested, opening his side of the car and offering her hand. "On my phone, maybe."l

"I have a computer here. Been meaning to order a laptop."

"We can look on the computer then?" She said. "But only after you've had a nap."

"Yeah, but I don't need a nap. I'm fine."

"You say that now, but you'll probably be tired as soon as you get on the sofa."

"We'll go straight to the study, then."

She raised her eyebrows. "Your study, eh? Aren't you posh?"

"Well, in a house like this, what do you expect?"

"There is that, I guess."

"Let's go."

"Lead the way, m'lord." She teased.

He led her up to the study and flopped down in the chair in front of the desk. 

She perched on the arm of his chair. "Is it weird I feel like we're almost at work?"

"What does that mean?"

"You suit sitting at a desk."

"I don't even sit at a desk at work."

She shrugged. "You do sometimes. All that paperwork."

"Mmm, I suppose."

"Wish I had an office."

"You don't have one?"

"As if I have time to even sit at a computer." She joked. "I just nab a computer somewhere that isn't logged on. I've used Ollie's more times than I can count.”

“I barely have time too, y’know.”

"I've used yours, remember? Don't even know where mine is, I should ask.”

“So you do have an office.” He pointed out. “You’re just an idiot. Besides, I have to share with Alex, which sucks in its own right.”

"That doesn't suck at all!”

He laughed. “She knows exactly how to drive me up the wall. I never get any work done.”

"I've seen you do work. You never leave if you have shit to do.”

“Yeah, and look where that got me.” He said, rapping on his cast with his good hand.

"Only because he's a cock. It'll heal, and he'll get what's coming to him. I had to persuade Alex from letting her boot meet his arse.”

“Frankly I’d like to break his wrist.” Fao muttered. “Do you wanna grab an extra chair?”

"Ugh, fine.I can tell when you don't want me." She joked, getting up. "Where do you keep your extra chairs? Shed?”

He rolled his eyes. “Next room down the hall, there’s a little library. There’s a chair in there.”

"A little library? Should I expect something straight out of Beauty and the Beast?”

“Hardly. It’s a few books.”

She laughed, but disappeared and came back promptly with a chair. “What car should I get then?”

“What do you want? What’s your budget?” He asked. “And new or second hand?”

“Second hand. I’m not rich like you. And you know what I earn.”

“You can get new on a finance scheme.”

“I can. Any suggestions?”

“Well, you say you can’t afford a Ferrari, which is fair enough. But you said you like Jaguars, why not get a Jaguar? Or a Porsche or something. BMW? Audi?”

“As if you remember I said I like jags.”

“Of course I remember.”

She hummed. “Maybe. They’re just so.... sleek.”

“Let’s have a look, then. You’ll need to type, it’ll take me forever with one hand.”

“I know, I know.” She said, leaning forwards. 

He nudged the keyboard towards her. “Go on, then.”

“God, you’re eager.”

"I'm excited."

“I can tell.” Her fingers tapped away at the keys and she brought up the website. 

"Anything is exciting after being in hospital."

“What, no pretty nurses?”

"They were all rubbish."

“Oh, you poor thing.” She said. 

"Mmm, I was deprived. But did you manage to get with my doctor?"

Ely shrugged, not looking away from the screen. “Haven’t seen her. Alex reckons I should just jump into bed with her.”

"Not heard anything from her, then?"

“No. Why? Have you been meddling?”

"Me? Never."

She forced her gaze from the computer screen. “You have, haven’t you? What did you do?”

"Nothing!"

“Come on.” She whined. “Why are you so interested?”

"Because you deserve to get laid. You're welcome to have her over here, I can make myself disappear for a while."

She snorted. “You’ve never been bothered about my sex life. I’m not bothered about fucking right now, if I’m honest.” No doubt Henri would know Fao had contacted her in some way, especially if she showed up in his car. 

"Only because you used to date my ex. Look, do whatever, but don't exclude yourself from having fun, yeah?"

“I don’t need sex to have fun.”

"I suppose you're perfectly capable of scratching that itch alone."

She winked. “More than capable.”

"Gross." He teased. 

“Oh, so what. It’s probably easier for you.”

He laughed. "Perhaps. But I don't mind either way. Seen any cars that take your fancy?"

“The XJ? I don’t know, I’ve not really thought about it.”

"I'm sure there's a dealer around where you could go and test drive a few."

“Probably.” She agreed. “Do you wanna sit in the living room? It’s gotta be comfier than in here.”

"It's not my ass that I injured."

“No, but we can both flop.”

"If you insist." He said, and stood up stiffly. "Living room, then, before we eat."

“Do you need a blanket or anything?”

"Nah, I'm pretty warm."

“Well, when you get cold in half an hour, tell me.”

"Ah, come on, I don't do cold." He replied, padding slowly out of the study and down to the living room. 

“You might not but the anaesthetic in your system doesn’t care about that.”

He shrugged as he settled on the sofa. "I've never really had that sort of a problem with it."

“You never know.”

He stretched out with a sigh. "It's definitely comfier here though."

“Told you so.”

"Yeah, you win." He murmured, leaning against her. 

She smiled to herself, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “You need to be taken care of.”

"I'm capable of taking care of myself, I just need a helping hand."

“You don’t want me looking after you?”

"That's not what I meant." He said, moving to rest his arm whist he sat. 

“I know,” she replied, “but I want to fuss over you.”

"I don't need a fuss."

“Yeah, you do.”

He sighed. "I don't. I don't deserve one either."

She turned her head to look at him. “Why do you think that?”

"I've caused all this mess, and now I've dragged you down here when you should be back at home in London."

“You haven’t caused this, and I like being here.”

"It was all my fault."

“It wasn’t.” She assured him. “It was Henri’s fault.”

"If I hadn't come home late none of this would have happened."

“If you hadn’t come home late, you wouldn’t have saved a life.” Ely pointed out. “You’re not to blame for Henri’s actions. He’s insecure, and wanted to control you. None of this is your fault, you did your job. If he can’t understand and respect that, he’s not worthy of you.”

Fao pressed closer to her, burying his face against her. "I wish none of this had ever happened. I feel so stupid." He mumbled. 

“Sometimes these things happen. But you’re free of him, okay? I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you.”

He sighed. "You're too good, I definitely don't deserve you."

“You deserve the world.”

"Oh, please." He scoffed. "As if."

“You do. If Henri even looks at you I’m going to punch him.”

"He'll punch back, y'know."

Ely shrugged. “And I’ll kick him in his tiny dick.”

Fao laughed quietly. "It is kinda small."

“I knew it.”

"He's not particularly good with it either."

She hummed. “What an arse. Alex is better?”

"A hundred times better."

She ran her fingers through his hair. “Let’s not talk about him, eh? How are you feeling? Pain?"

"A little bit, I guess. But it's not so bad."

“Do you remember when you last had some painkillers?” She asked softly. 

"This morning, with my breakfast."

She made a noise. “You’re more than due some more. Do you want me to get some for you?” She wasn’t sure where he’d put the medication he’d come home with. 

"No, it's okay. I don't need any more."

“Fao....” She murmured. “You’ve just had major surgery. You must be in agony.”

"It wasn't that major. I'm fine."

“Promise you’ll tell me when it hurts? You don’t have to be in pain.”

"It's really not so bad."

“Okay.”

"I don't need half of what they gave me anyway."

She frowned, gently rubbing the pads of her fingers against his scalp. “You sure?”

"Yeah, over the counter stuff is fine."

“Let me know if it isn’t?”

"No need." He told her firmly. 

"Promise anyway?"

"Promise." He mumbled. "What's the time?"

She shifted, pulling her phone out of her pocket. "Twenty to five."

"Mmm, okay. When do you wanna eat?"

"I was thinking about making something easy. Dunno what yet."

"Oh, you don't have to cook. I was only asking so I know when I should start."

She was quiet for a moment. "You're not cooking, don't be silly."

"It's the least I can do, you've been fussing over me for days. I always cook, it's not an issue."

"Absolutely not, Fao." She said. "You're not cooking. Henri might have made you cook but you don't have to for me."

"It's nothing. Honestly, I enjoy cooking."

"And the general anaesthetic isn't out of your system yet. You rest." 

"I'll rest after food." He said, pulling away from her to sit up properly.

She raised her eyebrows. "Stay here."

He sighed. "Fine."

She patted his shoulder. "You can cook when you're healed."

"Can I at least go and make myself a cup of tea?"

"I guess you can. Be careful."

"Do you want a cup too?"

Ely shook her head. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. "Yeah. If I have tea now I'll be awake all night."

"Mmm, alright." He said, slowly getting to his feet.

"Go slow, shout me if you need me." She told him.

"You know I will." He murmured, padding to the kitchen. He carefully made himself tea, having to focus hard on not using his left hand. It took some getting used to. But eventually he made it and padded back to the living room, sitting down with a sigh. 

While he was gone, Ely brought up JustEat and ordered what he'd been craving the other day - fried chicken. She hoped he'd still be craving it, and it would be a nice surprise for him. When he came back, she looped her arm back around his shoulders.

He smiled, leaning against her. “Miss me?”

"Of course I did.”

“Good. And look, I survived making tea.”

"So you did." She agreed. "I still haven't decided what to make for dinner.”

“I’m sure we’ll think of something.” He murmured.

"I'm sure we will. It's a little early yet." She said. "Still feeling alright?”

“Yeah, not too bad.”

She hummed, but didn't say anything. If he wouldn't take something now, she wasn't going to force him. Hopefully he'd take something before he went to bed.

“What time are you leaving tomorrow?” He asked quietly.

She shrugged. "Early. I'm due in at 7.”

“Standard shift, then?”

"Yeah, unfortunately. I'll be gone just before 6.”

He sighed. “You know you don’t need to come back, especially if you end up on overtime. It’s a long drive.”

"If I end up in overtime, yeah," she said, "then I'll go back to my place. We'll see.”

“Well, be careful.” He murmured. “I don’t really need anyone to stay with me overnight.”

"For the next few days it's best if you do."

"I guess, but tomorrow morning it'll have been 48 hours, it's fine."

She shrugged. "Maybe we all want to help?"

"I know, but you don't have to go wildly out of your way to help."

"I'm not.”

“I feel like you are.” He murmured. “Is there anything you need?”

Ely shook her head. "No."

"Are you sure? I can order stuff for you, if you need anything."

"I'm sure I'll let you know.”

“Please. It takes two seconds for me to order something and it’ll be here next day.”

She smiled. "Promise I'll let you know.”

“Good.”

She slid her fingers into his hair again, and remained quiet for a little while. It was a comfortable silence, until she heard a knock on the door, just as she got a text through. Peeling herself away from Fao, she headed to the door and came back a minute later laden with two bags of food. 

"I hope you still want fried chicken.”

“Oh my god, you ordered some?”

She grinned. "I did. Felt bad you couldn't have it when you wanted it, and what makes anyone feel better but greasy takeaway?”

“You’re an angel.”

She carefully set a box on his lap. "I know.”

“Mmm, I’m hungry too.” He murmured, opening the box. It smelled amazing, and he started to eat, delicately trying not to dirty his cast. 

"Shall I wrap a towel around that cast?" She teased.

“Aw, fuck off.” He shot back.

"It would keep it clean!”

“It would make things so tricky! I’m being careful. Besides, it’s coming off in a couple of weeks when I go to the fracture clinic.”

"Fine. Want some coke?”

“Cocaine?” He teased.

"Oh, bugger off.”

He grinned. “Coke sounds good, thank you.”

She hurried off to get a couple of glasses, and then poured coke into both of them. “There."

“Thank you.” He murmured.

"Mmm, you're welcome.”

He continued to eat, humming to himself. It was perfect, the grease exactly what he’d been craving. He did, however, wince as he picked up some chips, though tried not to show it.

She caught it, frowning softly to herself. She'd wait until he'd finished - until his stomach was full. When they'd both finished eating, had rinsed their hands and she'd thrown the rubbish, she settled back against him.

"Still feeling okay?"

"Better than before." He told her, yawning. 

"Good. Want to have some painkillers before you fall asleep on me?"

"Nah, I'm good."

She stared at him. "Fao, you haven't had any since this morning. I know you're in pain.”

“I’m fine, really. Maybe I’ll have a paracetamol before bed, but I don’t need any more.”

"You and I both know that's wrong.”

“Maybe an ibuprofen too.”

"What did you get in the prescription?" She asked.

He shrugged. “I don’t really know. Some codeine, maybe something stronger? I don’t need any of that crap.”

"Why? I'd be crying out for some if my wrist had just been plated.”

“Well, I’ll just end up in a spiral if I start. I was really bad after my accident, me and Henri decided it was better if I stayed away from prescription stuff.”

She frowned. "You and Henri, or just Henri?”

“Fuck knows, it was years ago. I certainly feel better without opioids.”

"Paracetamol and ibuprofen won't be enough."

"Easy for you to say."

She raised an eyebrow. "I know about this stuff, it's my job."

"Intraoperatively."

"Even so. Please, take something. I won't let anything happen to you, and I hate you being in pain."

"I'll take ibuprofen and paracetamol."

She sighed. "I'm not gonna force you, it's your choice. I really don't want you to be in pain."

"Can't I at least have them first? Then maybe if I'm still bad before bed I'll try a codiene or something."

"Alright." She agreed.

"I'll go get some." He said, forcing himself to his feet again and heading stiffly upstairs. He retrieved his prescription and took a couple of both paracetamol and ibuprofen, then headed back downstairs, curling up on the sofa with his head on Ely's lap.

She smiled softly, her fingers once more in his hair. "Do you like me being here?"

"Yeah. It's nice to have company."

"I'm so jealous of your house."

He looked up at her. "It's just a house."

"It's a nice house."

"Well, yeah, I guess. It took a lot of work."

She brushed some hair from his forehead. "I'm sure it did. My flat is nowhere as near as impressive as this."

"You haven't been in your flat for that long, though. Technically this house has belonged to me since I was 18."

"That's a good point."

"Don't despair."

"I'm not." She replied. "I'm thinking about decorating."

"Yeah, that'll be nice."

"When I get the time."

"So, never then."

She laughed. "Probably. It's not like it's ugly, anyway."

"I wouldn't know."

"You'll know soon enough." She murmured. "I miss living with someone."

"It's always odd when you're newly single."

She reached her feet out for the coffee table. "I'll get used to it, I'm sure."

"You will. And you'll have me in a few weeks."

"I will. How long it is you're off again?"

"At least six weeks. I'll see her again then to check my movement and see if she'll clear me for work. It might take longer, especially since I smoke."

She nodded. "Yeah. How soon do you want to come back to London?"

"Honestly? Right now I don't know."

"That's okay. Just let me know when you're ready?"

"I think I want to wait until I'm ready to go to work." He replied quietly. "To give me something to do."

Ely nodded. "That's okay. I could get used to living somewhere like this for the foreseeable future."

"Mmm, it's hardly slumming it. I'll see how I feel after the fracture clinic."

"That's a good plan. Anything you want to put on on the tv?"

"I don't mind. Whatever you want."

“Something shitty, then.” She said. 

"I really don't mind." He said, closing his eyes. 

Of course he didn’t, he was hardly going to last another ten minutes. She picked up the remote, making sure the volume was low as she flicked through the channels. 

He lasted all of about five minutes before he fell asleep, half on his back in Ely's lap. He was snoring softly, barely audible, but he was pressed close to her. 

She let him stay like that. It was good for him to rest while he could. Before long, though, she knew she should turn in, and gently tried to stir him. 

He stirred with a groan, pressing closer to her warmth. "Mmm, wha'?"

“I think you should go get in a bed.” She said softly. 

"Mmm, but you're comfy."

“We can’t stay here all night.”

He sighed and reluctantly sat up, rubbing his eyes. "'kay."

“You’ll get a crick in your neck.” She said. “C’mon, let’s get you upstairs.”

He nodded and stood up, groaning. "An' you need to sleep too." He mumbled, heading out of the room and making his way slowly up the stairs.

“I do.” She agreed, placing one hand on the small of his back. 

He hummed, pausing at the top of the stairs to give her a quick hug before he padded to his bedroom. 

She made sure to hug him tight, to let him know silently that she was there for him, and watched him go. Once his door was shut, she settled into her own room, changing into a nightie that was a little too big and curling up under the thick duvet.


	15. Chapter 15

On his own, Fao slowly changed and got into bed. He tossed and turned all night, his arm and his hip keeping him awake. But he refused to take any more painkillers and simply just tried to sleep. He got a few choppy hours, but mostly just sat up and tried to read. He heard Ely leave for work that morning, and when she returned she looked tired and he berated her for driving home so late. 

A few days later, they’d fallen into a little routine, and Fao had found a plan, a way to split with Henri and stay safe. He just hoped it would be enough. 

Late that evening, when Ely was surely asleep, Fao sat up in bed and, with a trembling hand, dialled Henri’s number. He made sure his number was hidden, that Henri wouldn’t be able to find out where he was calling from. Heart pounding, he listened to the phone dial, waiting to hear his voice.

Henri answered politely, clearly half asleep but unsure who was calling him.

"Hello?"

“Henri.” Fao breathed. “We need to talk.”

Henri was immediately wide awake. "Where the fuck are you?! Get back here!"

Fao took a deep breath. "I'm not coming back."

"Oh, don't be stupid. We love each other."

"No, Henri. It's over. What you did to me was the final straw. More surgery, more pain. I'm done."

"I didn't mean to hurt you." Henri lied easily. "Come back to me."

"Henri, no. You hurt me deliberately. We're over. The house is all yours, all I want is my stuff. But I don't want this to be a terrible split, so I'm sending you an email with something that I think you'll like." He said firmly, reaching for his laptop to send Henri the invoice for the car he'd just bought. He left the price there, to prove how much he'd spent, and hit send. 

Henri scoffed. "You're being silly. Where are you? I'll come and get you, we'll have a nice break away somewhere. What about Spain? Or France? I'm sure you'd love Bordeaux."

"I know you know how much I like French wine, but I'm not going away with you. I'm not going anywhere. Leave me my stuff and I won't give you any more hassle. The police won't be involved, just a mutual split between the two of us. Nobody's suspicious, everyone just thinks what happened was a freak accident."

He knew he wasn't going to win. So he did the last thing he could do - continue to destroy him. "You think anyone will love you but me? You're broken goods. No one wants you, no one except me."

"I don't care. I'd rather be broken and alone than with you. Take what I've given you and leave me alone. I know it's what you've always wanted."

"Fine. Maybe you should kill yourself, it'd be better for you." He snarled, and hung up.

Fao's chest was tight and the moment Henri hung up he dropped the phone, shaking all over. It wasn't the first time he'd thought about suicide, Henri knew that. But he was stronger than that, he wasn't going to cave to Henri. But he couldn't sleep, he was still so shaky, and did the only thing he could think of. He slipped out of his room and down the hall to Ely's, knocking on the door before opening it.

"Ely?"

She stirred, reaching out to turn the lamp on. The alarm clock by the bed told her it was just past midnight. 

"Fao?" She asked, pushing herself up to sit up.

"I... I can't sleep. Can I stay with you for a while?"

She nodded. "Of course you can, this bed is big enough for a giant. Come here."

He sniffed, and slipped into bed next to her, wincing as he tried to get comfortable. "Sorry."

She shook her head, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him close. "You've got nothing to apologise for."

"I'm sorry to wake you." He murmured, sniffing again. "I jus'...jus' needed someone."

"I don't mind."

He couldn't help it, he finally lost control and started to cry against her chest. 

"Oh, Fao." She murmured, holding him close and letting him cry. He clearly needed it.

"'m so s-sorry." He got out between sobs, pressing closer. Everything was just too much. The pain, the worry, everything. Even just the relief of speaking to Henri, knowing he was splitting. It just all came out, so overwhelming.

She rubbed his back. "It's okay. You just get it all out, yeah?"

"It's jus' everythin'."

"I know, I know."

He was quiet for a while, crying until he couldn't cry anymore, then he just buried himself in Ely's chest, breathing in the smell of her perfume. 

She continued to rub his back. "I've got you."

“Thank you.” He breathed, voice rough.

"You're welcome."

“Can I stay?”

"Of course you can."

“I don’t wanna be alone.”

She hummed. "Well, you don't have to be."

“m’kay.” He mumbled.

She wanted to know what had gotten him so worked up, but she wouldn't ask - she trusted Fao to tell her when he was ready. "I'll always be here for you."

“Thank you.” He repeated.

"It's okay."

He fell asleep curled up against her, finally feeling safe. When he woke the next morning he was still cuddled up to her, and he was content. A few days later, though, he was left with Alex whilst Ely went to work, which he didn’t mind. She had to go.


	16. Chapter 16

After Fao’s phone call, Henri was fuming. But when he checked his email and saw his inbox, he couldn’t stay furious. The car was gorgeous, the exact colour and spec he’d always wanted, though it wouldn’t arrive for a month or so. Fao knew him, he had to admit. And as far as break up presents went... it was pretty good. He still wanted to know where he was, find out who he was hiding with. After a long NHS shift with complicated procedures, he was heading out of the hospital and to his car when he saw the unmistakeable sleek black shape of Fao’s car. The numberplate, too, was definitely his. But it wasn’t him getting in - it was Ely. 

He pressed her against the body of the car, snarling. “Where is he?! I know you’re with him!”

She'd been totally unaware of Henri watching her, and she didn't have time to react before she was forced to turn around and a hand was at her throat. Flying spit from Henri hit her face and she clawed at his hand.

"Get off of me!"

“Tell me where he is!”

The car was hard against her back, digging into her skin. "No!"

"Are you fucking him?"

"No, I'm not!" She told him, digging her nails into the back of his hand.

"I bet you are! Can't keep your hands off of him."

She was finding it hard to breathe. "Like hell am I fucking him!"

Henri rolled his eyes and pulled away from her throat to pin her shoulders to the car. "As if. You were just waiting for him to split with me so you could have him to yourself! Where is he?!"

She spat at him. "I'm not telling you where he is. Let go of me and I won't report you for assault."

"I could just follow you. I know you're going back to him."

"Maybe I'm not."

"Of course you are. Going to play nurse? Bet you'd look cute in a little outfit."

She raised her hand to slap him. "Piss off, and let me go home."

Henri recoiled. "You've always been a firey one. Go on then, fuck off to him."

"I'm not going to him, I don't know where he is." She said. "Get lost."

"Why are you driving his car?" Henri spat. 

"Why does it matter to you?"

"I need to know where he is, he's vulnerable."

She laughed - she couldn't help it. "You don't need to know where he is. Piss off."

Henri scoffed. "Fine, don't tell me. I'll find out myself."

"Good luck with that." She said, bringing her knee up into his crotch.

He grunted and staggered backwards, swearing.

With him away from her, Ely climbed into the car and started the engine, setting off as quickly as she could. She couldn't go back to Surrey, not now. She couldn't risk Henri finding where Fao was, so she headed back to her own place. Her phone had been connected to the car and she rung Fao, waiting for him to pick up.

Sat on the sofa, he answered quickly. "Hey, Ely. Finished work?"

She hummed. "Yeah. Can't come back tonight, though."

"Oh, no worries. Long day?"

"You could say that." She wasn't sure if she wanted to tell him about Henri, but he deserved to know. She just didn't want it to be too much for him.

"Just tiring?"

Ely sighed. "Henri saw me getting into your car. I don't want to risk him following me."

"I get it. Stay safe."

"I will do. I'm going to my place and then I'm gonna ring the police and tell them he assaulted me and threatened to follow me. They'll probably station a car outside."

"Ely...."

She turned a corner. "Yeah?"

"I promised Henri I wouldn't get the police involved." He said quietly.

"And you're not. I've told him I don't know where you are. Besides, I can request an unmarked car. He'll never know."

"Ely, please. I'm worried about what he'll do."

She sighed. "Alright. I'd rather have them there, but for you I won't."

"I didn't tell you this, but the other night I rang him. Promised him a mutual split without the police getting involved."

She was quiet for a minute or so. "Okay. I won't ring them."

"He'd never do anything to you. I could send Alex back to you?"

"No, it's fine. I'll ring you in the morning, alright?"

"Yeah, alright. Are you at work tomorrow?"

She hummed again. "Yeah. I'll be home after, promise."

"Okay. You don't have to ring me if it's too early. Just call when you get a break?"

"Will do. Make sure Alex is at your beck and call, eh?”

“She’s currently sat next to me scoffing at the tv.”

"Yeah? What are you watching?" She asked. She wasn't far from home now.

“Fuck knows. Some kind of documentary.”

She laughed. "Enjoy it. I'm gonna make something quick and easy for my dinner.”

“Mmm, what are you thinking of?”

"Not a bloody clue. I'm taking suggestions.”

That made him laugh. “What’s in your fridge?”

She paused again. "I don't know, actually.”

“Can’t suggest anything if you don’t know what you have. How far are you from home?”

"Less than five minutes.”

“Well, when you get in you can tell me, I’ll send suggestions.”

"I will do. How was your day?”

“Dull as usual.”

"Nothing interesting?”

“Does getting out of bed count as interesting?” Fao asked, stretching out to rest his feet in Alex’s lap.

She pulled into her parking space. "Maybe. Did you shower too?”

“I had a bath, because my hip’s been annoying me.”

"Still sore?”

“Yeah, god knows what’s going on with it.”

The call went blank for a moment as she got out of the car, locking it behind her. "I'm sure it's okay, probably just some bruising that's still healing.”

“Probably soft tissue.”

Ely couldn't help but look around the car park as she walked across it, and quickly punched the code into the keypad by the door. "I'm sure it is.”

“I should ask Ollie next time he’s over.”

"Good idea.”

“He’ll probably just tell me he can’t do anything without an x-ray.”

"No harm is asking.”

“Yeah, I suppose so.”

She fished her key out of her pocket. "But I'll definitely be back tomorrow.”

“Mmm, okay.”

"Got that appointment through yet?”

“The fracture clinic?”

She shut her apartment door behind her. “Yeah."

“Not yet, hopefully tomorrow I’ll get it.”

"That'll be good news for when I get back, then."

"Yeah. I'm looking forwards to having this cast off and the stitches out. It's bloody itchy."

She let out a little laugh. "Not long now."

"As soon as I get a date for the fracture clinic."

Ely crouched down in front of her fridge, humming gently as she used her other hand to look through the meagre offerings it had to offer. "I've got some chicken..."

"Chicken is a good start." 

"I might have some rice somewhere." She mused.

"Any veg? Something to make a sauce?"

"I always have onions and garlic in the pantry." She said. "What are you thinking of?"

"Well, onions and garlic are a good start." He mused. "What about stock cubes? Cream cheese?"

"That's a direction I wasn't expecting. Stock cubes and cream cheese?"

"Work with me."

"I've got a bit of cream cheese. What kind of stock cubes are you thinking of? Chicken?" She asked.

"Yeah. Now what about pasta?"

"Oh, we're getting somewhere now." She teased, moving to the cupboard. "Probably just enough for me."

He laughed. "Well, that's the perfect amount, unless you've got someone staying over that I don't know about."

"Nope, no one here. What am I doing first?"

"Uh, you'll need to do your chicken, preheat your oven, probably like gas mark 6? What's your oven like?"

"Not gas." She shot back. "Electric."

"Uh, 200 degrees then."

She did so, and put the phone on speaker so she could put it down. “I think I know how to cut chicken, though.”

"What chicken do you have? Breast?" He asked. "Hang on, though, Alex is giving me evils because she wants to watch TV. Let me go upstairs and we can facetime."

“Yeah, breast. Go on, get upstairs.”

He got up and headed upstairs to his room, quickly hanging up and then facetiming her instead. "Right, I'm now not gonna annoy Alex any more. You don't need to cut up your chicken. Just grab a baking tray."

“Don’t even need to cut off the weird white bits at the edges?”

"What kind of chicken are you buying?"

“Have you never got chicken that has those white stringy bits on it?” She asked. “Sometimes there’s little pieces of bone, too. Mum always told me to cut them off, and any blood clots in the meat.”

"I hardly buy breast. Cut whatever you want off."

“More of a leg man, eh?” She joked, finding her favourite knife. 

"Thighs all the way. More flavour." 

“So you like a pair of meaty thighs.” She replied, cutting off what she didn’t want and throwing it back in the packet to throw. “Nothing wrong with that.”

He laughed. "Once you've finished neatening it up, cover it in olive oil, salt and pepper, stick it on a baking tray and shove it in the oven." He said. 

“That’s so simple even a kid could do it.” She said, but did as she was told and washed her hands. “Next.”

"Next prop me up so I can actually see what you're doing." He teased. 

“What, you don’t like my ceiling?”

"I prefer you."

She knew her cheeks were pink and she was glad for a minute that he couldn’t see her, though she reached out and propped her phone up against her kettle. “That better?”

"Much better." He replied. "Now go ahead and put your pasta on, I trust you can do that without me."

“I’ll have to, I suppose.” She said, turning to do it. “Y’know, I’m a terrible cook.”

"Oh, I know. Why do you think I'm still talking to you?"

“Out of the kindness of your heart?” She suggested. “Because you miss me?”

"Because I know that without me you'll burn your flat down."

“I won’t!”

"You will."

She huffed. “I’m not that bad.”

"I'll be the judge of that."

“I’m not!”

"How are you doing with that pasta?"

She leaned over to check. “It’s just coming to a boil.”

"Cool. Once it's boiling just leave it cooking, and then we'll start actually cooking."

“Oh, so I’m not cooking yet?” She asked. 

"Not even close."

“What are you planning?”

"A super easy sauce. Go grab a small onion and some garlic."

She grabbed what he said. “Anything else?”

"You'll need oil for the pan but that's it."

“I could have guessed that.”

"You're gonna need to chop both up quite fine."

She hummed. “Easy peasy.”

"Make sure you don't cut yourself."

“I won’t. I’m not that clumsy.”

"Oh really?"

She looked up at her phone, shaking her head at him. “I’m not. Anything Alex has told you is lies.”

"I'll have you know Alex is a very reliable source of information."

“What has she told you, then?”

"That you're a nightmare in the kitchen."

She scoffed. “I’m not!”

"You are. Anyway, chop your onion and garlic and throw them in a pan with some oil."

“Can’t believe Alex has been telling you lies about me.” She grumbled. 

"They're not lies, though."

"They're not whole truths."

He laughed. "Alright, alright. That onion making you cry yet?"

"Not that much, I haven't cut the root."

"Alright. Keep going. I'm glad I've already eaten else this would be making me hungry."

Ely laughed now. "What did you have?"

"Alex made curry."

"Spicy curry? She always used to complain that I'm a wuss."

"Yeah, it was hot."

Ely pulled a face. "Gross."

"Well, we enjoyed it."

"Maybe I really am a wuss." She replied. "What next?"

"Let them both cook down until the onion has gone soft and slightly brown."

"This would be so much easier if you were here."

"Why? I can't cook right now."

She shrugged. "You could check I'm doing everything right."

"You've not done anything hard, I doubt you've done it wrong."

She laughed. "You don't know me."

"Perhaps. Whilst your onions cook you should make your stock."

“What kind of stock cube? I have vegetable and chicken.”

"Chicken. Make it quite concentrated too."

“Alright.” She said, flicking the kettle on. 

"How's your pasta doing? Don't overcook it."

“It’s fine.”

“Good.”

“Not like you can do anything if it wasn’t.”

He laughed. “When your onions and garlic are all soft, add your stock and then the cream cheese.”

“This better be nice. Onions and cheese together?”

“The onions are just the base to the sauce. Besides, onions and cheese is a time-tested combination.”

“You’re so weird.” She teased.

“Shut up, you don’t like onions and garlic?” 

“Of course I do! But cream cheese is completely different to cheese and onion crisps!” She protested. 

“Just try it. If you hate it, I’ll pay for a takeaway.”

She laughed. “Alright, you’re on.”

“It’s pasta, it’s gonna be good.”

“And if it’s shit we can try again when I’m back over there.”

“Yeah, with me to guide you.”

“Exactly.” She said brightly. 

“Maybe someday soon I’ll cook it for you.”

“If I let you.” She replied. “I don’t want you feeling like you have to.”

“When I get the use of my wrist back I’d like to cook again.”

Ely hummed. “Okay.”

"And I should probably get some practice in with a knife."

She snorted. “Something like that.”

"For the sake of my patients." He murmured. "How're you doing? Almost there?"

“Yeah, just adding the cheese now.”

“Cool. Let that bubble away and take your chicken out of the oven.”

She disappeared from view as she crouched down, hands clad in oven mitts, and pulled out the tray. She had to admit, it smelt good, and she groaned.

He laughed. “Now, grab a couple of forks and rip it up like pulled pork.”

"Oh, fancy.”

“Mmm, I’m a fancy bitch.”

Ely laughed again. "You are.”

“Then when that’s done you can throw it into the sauce and mix it in, then add your pasta and a splash of the water.”

"And that's it?"

"Yeah, that's it."

"Seems to be a bit of an anti-climax." She commented.

"Oi! Don't knock it before you try it!"

She winked at her phone. "Is it gonna make my world shake?"

"Oh, don't!" He scolded. "Eat the damn food!"

"Let me serve it first!"

"Hurry up." He whined.

She rolled her eyes, turning away as she got a plate out and then drained her pasta. It didn't take her long to serve and she carried her phone over to her little dining table. She groaned again when she tasted it.

Fao beamed. "You like it?"

"As if it's this good!"

"Simple is always best."

"You're proud, aren't you?"

"Yeah, because you're always whining about cooking."

She laughed. "I'm a terrible cook. There's a reason Alex wouldn't let me in the kitchen."

"Well, you've done pretty well tonight."


	17. Chapter 17

Ely got back to the Surrey house the evening after - she hadn't seen Henri all day, and had checked for him before she got in the Ferrari and headed to the motorway. She was exhausted when she got in, shutting the door softly behind her.

Fao had been alone all day, because all three of his friends were at work. And all day, he'd been struggling. He'd been avoiding taking his painkillers as per usual, and he was finding things hard. He'd had an ibuprofen around lunch, but it hadn't touched anything. His wrist was hurting so badly he couldn't do his physio, and his hip was protesting, so he'd been limping around the house all day. He'd finally given up at being productive and collapsed on the sofa, feet up with his arm elevated. The TV was on quietly though he wasn't watching it and though he heard Ely come in he didn't say anything.

She stuck her head around the doorframe. "You alive?"

"Ish." He mumbled. 

Ely frowned, moving to sit next to him. She thought about putting her hand on his thigh, and instead put it on the sofa next to it. "Talk to me? You look shitty."

"I feel shitty. Had a shitty day."

"Tell me about it?" She suggested.

"Everything hurts." He whined. "My hip feels like shit and I can't do my physio. Couldn't even make a cup of tea earlier."

Her frown deepened. "Have you taken any painkillers?"

"Some ibuprofen."

She tutted. "That's hardly enough. Please, take something stronger?"

"I'm worried about it. Henri always said...."

"He said?" She urged.

"He used to always keep control of my tablets and give me the strong stuff maybe a week after my surgeries and that's it. Only ibuprofen after that, an' I don't trust myself. When I was in hospital after... Well, that doesn't matter, I had a lot of it an' he said I had to be careful I didn't get addicted."

She couldn't help the sad expression on her face. "Do you trust me?"

"Yeah. I trust you."

"Then you believe me when I say everyone has to be careful with opioids?" She said.

"Of course. I know it, I went to medical school too."

"So maybe Henri said what he said to control you," she said softly, "there's nothing wrong with taking strong painkillers when you've had a surgery like this."

"M-maybe." He said quietly. "He controlled everythin' else."

"I know he did. But you trust me, right?"

"I trust you." He said quietly, not looking at her.

"Fao?" She said. "Look at me?"

Slowly, he drew his gaze up to meet hers. 

Ely offered him a reassuring smile. "So why don't you take something stronger, and I'll keep an eye on you? I won't control you, but I'll look out for you."

"Not too strong, though?"

"Nothing too strong. How about codeine?"

"Yeah. Maybe some codeine. Jus' a little bit."

She nodded. "Whatever you're comfortable with."

"A small dose to start with."

She kissed his cheek. "I'm glad you trust me."

He flushed pink. "You've been here for me, of course I trust you."

"I'll just go get you some, yeah? Get you some food too, I think."

"'m not really hungry."

"Have you eaten today?"

"Breakfast."

"What about some toast?" She suggested.

He wrinkled his nose. "I dunno."

"Please?" She asked.

"Cup of tea?"

"Decaf? Or you'll be up all night."

He shrugged. "I'll be up all night anyway. Decaf tastes like dirt. What about that posh tea you drink?"

"I don't drink posh tea!"

"You do. It's all ridiculous colours."

"What, the packaging?"

"No, the tea itself, dumbass. What have you got hiding in my cupboards?"

She shrugged. "Earl Grey, english rose, assam, chai.... You name it, I've got it."

"Show me." He murmured, getting to his feet.

She offered him her hand. "You're so dramatic."

"I wanna see where you're hiding it." He mumbled. "But chai sounds nice."

"I'm hardly hiding it if you know I have loads."

"I know you're always drinking it. I dunno where it is."

"I don't have blood in my veins, I have tea." She joked, reaching into the cupboard she'd all but taken over as her own. "There, look. Pick whatever."

He reached out to pick up the chai, sniffing it before he hummed. "Can I have it made with milk not water?"

"Your wish is my command."

"Thank you." He said softly.

She smiled softly at him. "Come here, let me get you those painkillers and then I'll make you this while you relax, eh?"

"Yeah, alright."

“I brought my favourite blanket over, wrap yourself in it.” She suggested. 

Nodding, he limped back to the living room and the sofa, curling up under Ely's soft blanket. 

She wasn’t long, and soon returned with the painkillers and a nice hot cup of chai tea. She handed it over and settled next to him. 

"Thank you." He said quietly, taking the painkillers with a hesitant sip of tea. "Can... Can I have a hug?"

“Of course you can.” She said. “Come here.”

He set the tea down and pressed against her, sighing. "Such a crappy day."

“I’m back now though, to make it better.”

"Yeah. My hip is just getting worse and I walked into the doorframe earlier and smacked my wrist. I feel like I can't win."

“It’ll get better.”

"Yeah, I guess. I'm not used to being alone, either."

“I know. Maybe you should get a hobby.”

"What can I do with one hand?"

She shrugged. “Not a clue.”

"I'll just stick to wandering around the house then."

“Find something interesting to research?”

"Possibly. I've not published in ages."

“Who said it had to be nerdy?” She replied. 

"What else would it be?" He mumbled, sighing. His pain was starting to ease. 

“Something eccentric. Mythology?”

"Oh, spare me."

“That’d be fun!”

"It sounds like a school project." He mumbled, shifting to settle with his head in her lap.

“I’m just trying to give you ideas.”

"I dunno, maybe I'll think of something."

She hummed, trying to gently rub his hair through her fingers. But it was terribly knotted. “I’m sure you will. You’re smart.”

"Apparently."

“Of course you are.”

"Don't feel it right now."

“I know. You’ll get there.” She soothed. 

"Maybe. I miss being able to work."

“Not long now.”

"Like three weeks. That's an eternity. But I got my fracture clinic letter today."

She hummed, undoing a tangle in his hair. It’s need washing soon. “Yeah?”

"Yeah. Next Wednesday. Are you around?"

Ely nodded. “Yeah.”

"Can you take me?"

“That’s a silly question. Of course I’ll take you. We could go out for coffee after?”

"That sounds nice."

She smiled. “I thought so.”

He snuggled closer, careful with his bad arm. "The appointment is at eleven, but it could take ages."

“That’s okay. I really don’t mind.”

"Okay. I dunno exactly what my surgeon's plan is, so I guess we'll find out."

She hummed. "We will. Though I never replied to her text.”

“Aw, you should have done.”

She shrugged. "I didn't have time when I got it and I forgot, and now it's a bit late to reply.”

“Do it anyway. Gimme your phone and I’ll do it.”

"You like playing cupid, don't you?”

“I’ve got nothing better to do.”

She passed her phone to him. “Fine.”

He smiled, rolling onto his back in her lap. He opened her phone and found her messages, finding the text from his consultant. He sent a quick message apologising for taking so long to reply, blaming work. But he hoped his message would be enough, and passed the phone back to Ely.

“There."

"Bloody Cupid." She teased.

“It’ll be fun!”

"I know, I know." She said.

"You deserve it." He said thickly, closing his eyes. 

"What, I deserve to get laid by pretty women?"

"Mmmhmmm."

She laughed. "So do you."

He wrinkled his nose. "'m not in the mood for that."

"When you're ready, silly."

"Maybe."

She continued to gently try and get rid of his knots. "Do you still want all the details, though?"

"Yeah. You better keep me in the loop."

She smiled to herself. "Of course I will."

"Mmm, good."

"Fingers crossed it goes well."

"Bet it will. You're irresistible."

Ely laughed. "Stop it."

He grinned. "It's the truth. An' these painkillers have mostly helped."

"Good."

He reached for his tea, sitting up to sip it, leaning on Ely instead. 

She wrapped her arm around his shoulders. "I'm glad you trust me. I know it must be hard."

"So hard. He was my whole life, for better or worse."

"You've got a new life now."

"Yeah. Without him. Along with a new scar and some more metalwork."

She loosened another knot. "I'll look after you."

"You're too sweet."

"I'm your friend."

"Yeah."

She hummed quietly, a nursery rhyme really. "When did you last brush your hair?"

He shrugged. "When Alex washed it last, she did it for me."

"When was that?"

"The weekend."

Ely made a noise. "Want me to brush it?”

“If you wanna, yeah.”

"Let me just go get a brush, yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s late, though. You should eat.”

She shrugged. "I'll eat in a bit.”

“Are you sure? I probably should have made you something.”

Ely shook her head. "No, it's fine.”

“If you say so.”

"I do. I'll get that brush.”

He nodded, sipping his tea.

Ely kissed his cheek again, and hurried upstairs to get the brush. She came back down quickly, sitting back next to him. "Why don't we sit sideways? You can sit between my legs, it'll be easier.”

“Yeah, okay.” He mumbled, shuffling over.

One of her legs ended up off the sofa, her foot on the floor, and she took a moment to bring all his hair together, and gently started to brush.

It was nice to have someone fussing over him, though the brush pulled a little. He bit his lip, but he let her do it. It would be nice once it was done.

"I'm sorry if it hurts." She murmured.

“It’s alright.”

"It's gonna look good when I'm done.”

“Yeah. Lots of it.”

"Good job I like doing this.”

“Maybe you should be a hairdresser.” He teased weakly.

She laughed. "I'd be no good.”

“Maybe.”

"I'd chop my fingers all the time."

"You can't be that clumsy."

She shrugged. "You know I am."

"You must have done surgical rotations as an F1. How did you survive those?"

"Not really sure. I just knew it wasn't for me."

"That's fair enough."

"Much rather be dealing with stats than incisions."

"I think I'd be too restless."

She managed to remove all knots from one small area, and she brushed over it a few times to make sure. "You would be."

"I gotta be hands on."

"But I'm good at it."

"You are."

Her fingers brushed the back of his neck as she gathered his hair up again. "And you're good at your job."

"I hope I am."

"You are. Just think about how many lives you've saved."

"Mmm, okay."

"You're amazing." She told him. "And I'll say that every day until you believe it."

"Oh, stop it."

"Mmm, no."

He rolled his eyes and drank his tea. "Was work good today?"

"It was okay. Won't lie, I missed being here."

"Oh, really?"

She made sure to brush over his scalp. “Really. It feels like a different world over here.”

"It's quiet, but then that's Surrey for you."

“I like it, it’s peaceful. Shame the commute is such a pain.”

“Yeah. It’d be nice to live here full time, but St George’s is the beating heart of trauma.”

“You’d never work anywhere else?”

“I don’t know. I could easily step sideways to general and work down here.”

“You need action.” She pointed out. “You’d get bored in general.”

“General does have on call hours. Emergency appendectomies and other bowel stuff.”

“You enjoy the life and death stuff.”

“An appy can be life and death.” He murmured. “I just don’t know. This would keep me away from Henri, and there’s some trauma down here.”

“I don’t know if avoiding him is the way to go.”

“I know. But it’s the easy option.”

“I’ve never known you to choose an easy option. Only ever the right one.”

“God, you sound so philosophical.”

“Because I am!”

“Deep for a Tuesday evening.”

She laughed. “The day doesn’t matter. I’m guessing you’ve eaten?”

“Ish.”

She frowned. “I’ll make something quick and easy.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Just a little something? A sandwich?”

“I’m just tired.”

“I know. I’ll make one for me too, eh?”

“I guess.”

She finished with his hair. “I won’t be long. I don’t want you starving on me.”

“I won’t starve.”

“Please?”

“Alright.”

She smiled, wiggling out from behind him. “Do you want a hot chocolate or anything?”

“Just some water. I’ve still got some tea.”

“Okay.”

With her gone, he curled up in a small ball on the sofa, blanket around him and tea in his hand. 

It was only a few minutes for her to make a couple of sandwiches, and she passed him his with a soft smile. “Don’t worry about eating it all, I just want to make sure you’ve had something. Don’t want your blood sugar dropping, I can’t carry you up the stairs.”

He managed a weak smile, nodding. "Alright. Thanks." He said, picking up the sandwich and nibbling on a corner of it.

“I don’t have Alex’s guns, unfortunately.”

"I doubt even Alex could get me upstairs."

“She’s like a superhero.” She replied. 

"Well, that's true."

She all but demolished her sandwich. “I think I’m gonna shower too. No doubt I stink.”

"You smell fine to me." He said, leaning closer. "Just a bit like a hospital."

“I don’t know if that’s good or bad.”

“I think it’s cute.”

She blushed. “If you say so. I’ll probably get in bed after my shower, I’m knackered.”

He hummed, finishing with his sandwich. “I’m gonna go to bed.” He got up and stretched, frowning a little as it hurt, before padding off to bed, still with Ely’s blanket.

She watched him go, and then ventured upstairs herself. It was good to shower - to rinse off the smell of lemon floor cleaner, antibacterial hand gel and rubber from her body. She took her time, slowly coating herself in rose-scented lather, washing her hair with Fuji green tea shampoo and conditioner. She plaited it before she pulled on a pair of shorts and a cami and slipped into bed, an unlit cigarette between her lips and her fingers spreading the pages of a book in her lap.

Once upstairs, Fao left Ely's blanket on the bed and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth before he got into bed. Really, though, he was just waiting for Ely to shower and stuff. After a while had passed, he got up and padded down the hall to her room. He didn't speak, just curled up under the duvet next to her.

She looked up when he entered, but didn't say anything. She really didn't mind him being with her - it was nice to have company.

He was quiet for a long while before he spoke. "Y'know, if you wanna light that you can. I don't mind if you smoke inside."

Ely shook her head. "I never light up, you know that."

"You never know." He mumbled.

"I'm happy like this."

"Okay. 'm jus' gonna stay here."

She smiled, glancing over at him. "Good. I want you to stay."

He nodded. "'kay."

"Do you wanna cuddle up?"

"Would you mind if I did?"

"Of course not."

"Henri hated when I was clingy."

Ely shrugged. "I don't mind."

"Okay." He murmured, shuffling closer. 

"The lamp isn't too bright, is it?"

"It's okay." He murmured. 

"Tell me if it isn't."

"I don't mind. What are you reading?"

She hummed quietly. "It's a crime novel."

"Oh, cool."

"Mmm, it is. You could read it when I'm done."

"Maybe. I don't really read."

"If you want it..." She said.

"We'll see."

He fell asleep before she'd even turned the light out, exhausted from the day.


	18. Chapter 18

Ely managed to convince him to keep taking stronger painkillers to keep himself comfortable, and he had to say it made a difference. He had more energy, he found he could do more during the day. Plus, physio was a hundred times easier. The rest of the week dragged on, and eventually he had his appointment at the fracture clinic. 

It took ages, waiting for x-rays and things. But he was surprised when his surgeon said they were taking the cast off and he'd just have a splint to wear. Apparently it would help him get movement back, which he needed given his job. He was relieved when the cast came off and his stitches came out, though less than enamoured at the scar it left behind. Callie said she'd been as careful as she could with his tattoos, but things weren't perfect. He'd just have to get them fixed. He'd rather that than a completely fucked up wrist, anyway. Once things were settled and his splint firmly on (with instructions for when to wear it) they headed out of the hospital. 

"Coffee?" Fao asked, feeling brighter now he wasn't weighed down by a hefty cast and his pain relief was working. 

Ely smiled back at him. “Tea for me, but yeah.”

"There's a cute independent place nearby."

“Oh, no hospital cafe stuff?”

"Fuck hospital cafés."

She laughed. “Alright. You can lead the way.”

He reached out to take her hand, and they headed into town. The cute coffee place was on a corner, full of little hideaways and soft sofas. He ordered for them both, paid before Ely had a chance to, and when they had their drinks they sat down, waiting for the food Fao had insisted on buying. 

"So, I'm less of a cripple now."

She cupped her hands around her mug. “You are. No bulky cast.”

"It's weird."

“You’d gotten used to it.” She said. “But this is where it starts getting better.”

"Yeah. Not sure if I'll be able to operate in a few weeks, though. I reckon it'll take longer."

She grinned at him. “Just a little longer. Any thoughts on going back to London?”

"I'm not sure. When I get the all clear to work, I think. I want to be busy when I'm back."

“That’s fair.”

"If I'm gonna be sitting around I'd rather be sitting around in the big house than your flat, no offence."

She shrugged. “None taken. Just let me know when, yeah? I’ll get the sofabed set up, new sheets on the bed.”

"Yeah. Maybe I could dump some stuff there soon? Like clothes or whatever."

“That’d be good. Any preference on bed linen?”

"Just that it's clean."

She raised an eyebrow. “So no stray toms for me, eh?”

"I don't care what you do on it in your free time, but I'm not sleeping on your gross sex sheets." He retorted. "But on the subject of sex, Callie looked happy to see you."

Ely pressed her lips together. “I know.”

"You two been texting?"

“Yeah,” she said, “we met up the other day.”

"And? Do I need to make plans to hide one evening?"

She shrugged. “I think, if anything happens, we’ll go back to hers.”

"You sure? My house is very impressive."

“If we’re gonna fuck she shouldn’t be admiring architecture.”

"Well, I'm sure it'd both get you in the mood. It's pretty big, after all."

She laughed. “Size isn’t all that matters, you know.”

"No, but it helps."

“Sometimes. Besides, it’s your house, not mine.”

"She doesn't need to know that."

“Like I could own something as grand as that.” She scoffed. “And it would be lying. That’s bad.”

"Goody two shoes."

“Like you care.”

"Apparently I don't."

She beamed at him. “I don’t like the principle of lying. What if it got serious?”

"I didn't think you wanted serious."

“I don’t know what I want. I figured if it ends up serious then it is what it is.”

"That's fair I suppose." He murmured, sipping his coffee. 

“Why are you so interested?”

"Your love life is more interesting than mine."

“Neither are interesting right now.”

"Yours is still more interesting than mine."

She shrugged. “I guess.”

"At least you sort of have one."

“It’s not much of one.” She replied, sipping her tea. “I’m not really on the lookout for something, y’know?”

"Yeah. Living the single life."

“Enjoying it, more like.” She joked. In truth, she was too busy with work and then coming over to Surrey. She wouldn’t change it (it had kept her mind off of her breakup) but it left little time for romance. 

"Mmm. I'm gonna stay single for a long time. I don't even want to think about a relationship for at least a year."

“And there’s no rush. You’ll be ready when you’re ready.”

"Yeah. I wanna take some time to be myself."

“And you deserve it.”

He smiled. "If only Henri could move to a different part of London then all would be well."

“He might, you never know.”

"Maybe. His family are in central London."

She hummed. “He won’t rule your life.”

"He's gonna for a little bit. But I feel better without the cast on."

“Is your pain still okay?”

“Yeah, it’s good. Painkillers still working. There’s a little bit of an ache but that’s probably just the splint, right?”

She nodded. “Yeah. You could step down to ibuprofen and paracetamol?”

“Yeah, I like the sound of that. Maybe just a codiene before bed?”

She nodded. “Fine with me. It’ll help you sleep.”

“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking.”

She continued to smile softly at him. “Just let me know when you don’t want it any more.”

"We'll see how we go stepping down, then I'll let you know."

“Okay. I trust you.”

"And I trust you."

She beamed at him. "That means a lot, after everything."

"I've known you long enough. You're one of the good ones."

"I try to be," she replied, leaning across the table to place her hand over his, "but I know how hard it is for you to say that now, so thank you."

He smiled. "I've always trusted you."

"It still means a lot."

"What you're doing means an awful lot to me." He murmured. "You've really helped me."

"I'll always help you. Whatever you need."

"Thank you." He murmured. "At least I can wash my hair on my own now."'

She grinned. "You can."

"I don't need Alex doing it for me anymore."

"I can still brush it for you, if you want."

"I really liked it when you did. Maybe you could plait it for me too?"

She nodded. "Sure."

"It'd stay neater for longer then."

"It would. You're a princess." She teased.

"Mmm, I have princess hair. Henri hated it."

She squeezed his fingers gently. "Well, I like it."

"I like it too, which is why I kept it. To be honest, he hated the amount of stuff I bought to take care of it rather than my hair itself. Complained it cluttered the shower."

She rolled her eyes. "You have a lot. But it's all good stuff."

"Bloody expensive too."

They spent a while in the coffee shop, chatting away and having some food, before they headed back home. It took Fao a couple of days to get used to the splint, but soon it felt normal and he felt a lot freer. Stepping down on his pain meds went well, he felt in control. He was now only taking the odd codeine before bed when the ache stopped him from sleeping. He ended up sharing with Ely a lot of the time, but she didn't seem to mind, and he slept better with company.


	19. Chapter 19

Ely was lucky to have a couple of days off, and she was on her phone on the sofa, reading newly published journals - it was good to keep on top of research, even if she hadn’t published in years herself. A cigarette was held between her lips, unlit as always. 

Ely's habit always amused him. Fao was sat next to her with his feet up, watching Netflix on the TV. He was fiddling with his lighter for a couple of reasons - he was dying for a smoke, but too comfortable to get up and go get a new pack (he'd recently finished his old one) as well as actually go outside to smoke it. On top of that, it was a good exercise for his wrist, so he tried to keep it in that hand in order to at least get some benefit out of it. So, sat next to his friend, he couldn't help look over at the cigarette she held between her teeth and grin. Acting on a daft urge, he reached over as if stretching, then quickly flicked his lighter on and lit Ely's cigarette. 

She inhaled just as it took light, and her hand flew up to remove her cigarette from her lips as she coughed, squeezing her eyes shut. 

Fao couldn't help but laugh, though he did take the cigarette off of her before she set light to something. He'd been genuinely surprised he'd gotten as far as he did - he'd been expecting her to notice him. 

"Not a fan?" He asked between laughter. 

She cleared her throat. “No! Bloody hell, you scared me!”

He was still grinning. "Sure you don't want to try it properly?"

“I’m fine. I nearly set fire to the house!”

"Hardly." He said. "There's just a tiny bit of ash on your leg. Drama queen."

“So what if I’m a drama queen?” She asked. “You just lit my cigarette! And now you’ve stolen it, meanie.”

"I grabbed it so you didn't set the sofa on fire. Want it back?"

"Not now that it's lit." She grumbled.

"I can put it out?" He said with a grin, ignoring his rule of not smoking inside and taking a long, slow drag before exhaling.

She leaned back against the sofa, crossing her arms over her chest. "Apparently you want it."

“You can still have it.” He replied. “You buy a weird brand, anyway.”

"A weird brand? You seem more than happy to smoke it."

“I didn’t know until I took a drag.” He murmured, reaching over to put it out on the edge of the plate that was sitting on the coffee table, then passed it back to her. “There.”

"What's wrong with the brand I buy?"

“It’s just different.”

She shifted, resting against him. "What do you normally buy?"

“Benson and Hedges. Normally Golds.” He murmured.

“Somehow, I’m not surprised.” She teased. 

“What does that mean?!”

“It’s just a brand I can see you buying.”

He rolled his eyes. “If you say so. You buy bloody menthols, don’t you?”

She shrugged. “So what if I do?”

“They’re gross.” He teased. “I wanna go out and have a proper smoke but I can’t be arsed.”

“So smoke in here. A one off doesn’t matter.”

“My pack is upstairs anyway.”

“Want me to go get it?”

“No, it’s alright.” He mumured. “I’ll go.” He got up, sighing, and padded upstairs to get his pack, then slipped outside to smoke.

With him gone, she headed upstairs herself - he always teased her, but she felt the cold. However, she didn’t put one of her own jumpers on. His looked far more cosy, and she chose a dark khaki knitted jumper, absently realising it must be his army issue one. Alex had one too. She pulled it on, the sleeves falling over her hands, and headed back downstairs. He’d finish smoking soon. 

When he came back in, he found her curled up on the sofa in his old army issue jumper. “Oh, stealing my clothes, eh?”

She looked up. “So? It’s cosy.”

“I think I’m entitled to something of yours, then.” He shot back. 

“I’m not stopping you.” She replied. “I’ve got some stockings you’ll look great in.”

“Oh, fuck off.” He replied, but headed upstairs to dig around in the wardrobe she’d claimed as her own whilst she was staying here. He found a couple of jumpers that were his size, that she’d either stolen off a boyfriend or bought herself. But that’s not what grabbed his attention. It was an old hoodie he recognised as his own. But it was very old, he knew he’d had it when he’d been with Alex. She’d stolen it ages ago, he was sure. So he shrugged it on over his t-shirt, then headed downstairs. 

“You know, this isn’t even yours.”

“Of course it is!” She replied. “Alex gave it to me.”

“Yeah, and Alex stole it from me.”

“What?”

“She nicked it from me when we were dating. It’s my hoodie.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “It hasn’t been yours for years. Thought you were putting on lingerie, anyway.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to put you out.” He teased. “I’d obviously look better in it than you.”

She laughed. “You sure? Not sure if you’ve got the tits to fill a bra.”

"Oh, I so do." He said, settling on the sofa next to her. 

She snorted. “Nah. Maybe an A cup, but not my bras.”

"Mmm, you've not seen these tits up close."

She was somewhere between spluttering and laughing. “Nah, I know you couldn’t fit in mine.”

“That sounds like a challenge.”

“You have pecs. They wouldn’t fill the cups properly.” She teased. 

“Mmm, try me.”

She stared at him, and then slipped her arms from her sleeves and under her top, deftly taking her bra off - it was white with blue cornflowers, not that she cared. He’d seen her underwear plenty of times while doing the washing. Grinning, she threw it into his lap. “Have at it.”

He laughed, looking at the bra in his lap. “Oh, very pretty.” He teased, puling his hoodie and his t-shirt off. Delicately, he put it on, fumbling a little with the clasp. 

“What do you think? Should I do drag?”

She couldn’t help but laugh at the sight. He didn’t quite fill the cups, and it was a miracle he’d managed to fasten the band at all. It looked like it was digging into his skin. 

“Not in that bra.” She replied.

“Oh, I’m hurt.” He replied, taking it off, conscious he’d stretch it. He tossed it back to her, grinning. “Maybe I should get a push up, give myself a bit of a boost.” He joked, pushing his pecs up in an effort to make them look bigger.

Her cheeks were hurting. “I’ll get you one, promise.”

“Yeah? A nice expensive one?”

“Definitely.”

“I deserve luxury.”

She winked. “Definitely. Thong?”

“Oh, I could rock a thong.”

“Your cock wouldn’t fall out?”

He flushed red. “I’d find a way to make it work.”

She laughed again. “Not to be crude, or act like I’ve been peeking, but I’ve seen how tight your boxers are. I don’t think you could.”

“Ely!” He exclaimed, somehow blushing deeper. “I’d, uh, just have to find one with plenty of room."

“Granny pants, then.” She teased. 

“Oi!”

“It’s not like you could wear anything else!”

“There’s nothing wrong with my boxers!”

She nudged him. “Didn’t say there was. I just don’t think you’d fit in a thong.”

“I could find one I’d fit in. I’m sure they make them with extra room.”

She rolled her eyes. “Nah.”

“I’m sure you could find something on the internet.” He replied with a grin, pulling his t-shirt and hoodie on.

“Gimp mask?”

“Oh, fuck off.”

She leaned against him again. “No.”

“Very rude.”

“You don’t care.”

They spent the rest of the day laughing and generally mucking around. It was nice, to be able to let go and laugh with her.


	20. Chapter 20

Ely had to work for a couple more days, then she was off again. Fao was bored, whilst Ely messed around in the kitchen. He was in the living room, listening to the tv but not taking it in. He decided to mess about with the sofa cushions, wanting to make a cute fort to snuggle in all evening. He was struggling to heft the cushions around, and as he was trying to put the ‘roof’ on it collapsed under him, pinning him under a couple of the heavy cushions. He made a squeak as his arm was squashed under him, and he knocked his phone to the floor with a clatter.

She heard the clatter of the phone more than anything else - she'd been cleaning, and then starting to prepare the ingredients for their dinner when she heard it, and she followed the sound to see his feet and head sticking out from under the sofa cushions.

"What are you doing?"

"Just, y'know, relaxing under some cushions."

"Come off it." She replied, moving closer.

He laughed. "I was trying to make a fort but we had a catastrophic failure."

"Do you want a hand?"

"Please."

Giggling to herself, Ely lifted the cushions from him. "It'll need to be big enough for both of us."

"I can make that happen." He replied, sitting up. "Thanks for rescuing me."

"I'll always rescue you. What's the plan?"

"I want a proper cosy little den." He told her. "Cushions and blankets and stuff."

"We could use the dining table chairs to prop a blanket up?"

"That's not cosy enough. I think we should incorporate the sofa somehow."

"There's not enough room for both of us to lay on there."

"No, like structurally. For support."

"Oh," she said, "that could work."

"You busy in the kitchen?"

"Not really. I'm all yours."

"Let's make the perfect fort, then."

She grinned at him. "I am yours to command."

"Mmm, let's get the big cushions and rest them up against the sofa for structure, and we could like raise them so we can sit under properly."

She did as she was told, grabbing the sofas and putting them against it. "We could still use the chairs, too? To make it bigger."

"Yeah, that'd work."

"It needs to be comfortable."

"Yeah. Shall I go get some blankets?"

She shrugged. "Might as well. I'll bring the chairs in."

"You'll do the heavy lifting better." He replied, heading upstairs. He grabbed his blanket and duvet, as well as some pillows, and lugged them down the stairs and into the living room. 

She'd brought a couple of chairs in by then, setting them at each end of the sofa, just in front so they could drape a blanket over the top. "We should get my duvet and blanket too. Are there any more anywhere?" They needed as many as they could get.

"Oh, now that's just insulting! Of course there are, there's another three bedrooms."

"But are they clean?"

"Yeah, the sheets were clean on last time I was here, they're a little dusty but should be fine."

"We'll get them all, then." She said brightly. "Make it properly cosy."

"Sounds amazing. I'll go, throw them down for you."

"Can't promise I'll catch them. Chuck the pillows down too."

"You don't have to catch them." He told her, heading back upstairs. He gathered all the duvets up and tossed them down, followed by pillows and blankets. This fort was going to be amazing. When he got back down he was a little out of breath, but returned to Ely. "Looking good so far."

She pushed him gently with her shoulder. "Don't know why you tried to do it on your own."

"You were busy and I was bored. You're the creative genius this project needed."

"Hardly."

"You made it work."

She rolled her eyes. “Let’s finish it.”

"Let's. I wanna curl up in it."

She continued to make it comfortable and cosy, pushing the edge of the coffee table in so they’d have somewhere to put the laptop and watch movies, and finding some fairy lights which she managed to string between the backs of the chairs. Once it was done, she laid down on the nest of duvets and blankets. 

“Care to join me?”

He smiled. "I'd like nothing more." He told her, crawling in and settling in the nest. 

With a soft smile, she cuddled up. “Why did you want to do this?”

"Why not? Never really did it as a kid, I guess."

“It’s nice. I could stay here forever.”

"Me too. Should we order food?"

“Sounds great to me.”

"I never wanna leave this cocoon."

She idly ran her hand over his chest. “Me neither.”

In the glow of the lights, she looked so soft and gentle, and he shuddered as her hand skimmed over his chest. "What shall we get? Pizza would be easiest to eat in here."

“And it shouldn’t be messy.” She agreed. 

"Shouldn't be."

“Unless you throw pizza at me.” She replied, slipping her hand under the hem of his jumper and resting it on his abs. 

"Very unlikely." He replied, his stomach tensing a little before he relaxed under her touch. 

Content, she closed her eyes. “We could sleep in here tonight.”

"We could. Easier than dragging all of this upstairs."

She breathed deeply. His aftershave smelt nice. “It’s so cosy.”

"It is, it's perfect."

“Feels like we have all the time in the world.”

"In a way, we do. Nothing to do for hours."

“Good. We both deserve a bit of peace.”

"Yeah. It's so nice and quiet here."

She breathed deeply again. “Our own little world.”

"Yeah. I think I wanna go back to London next week."

“Yeah?”

"Yeah. It's easier for you and I want to settle in before I go back to work."

She hummed. “If that’s what you want.”

"I think it's an idea. I'll have to get back down here for my appointment but other than that I think London is the way to go. I can't hide from Henri forever."

“You can’t. And you can stay at mine for as long as you need.”

"Thanks. I'll look for a place of my own, but it'll take time."

“There’s no rush.” She said softly. “I like living with you.”

"Me too, but I should still look. You've only got one bedroom in your flat."

“I don’t mind sleeping on the sofa.”

"I know, but still. It's not fair."

She shrugged. “There’s still no rush.”

“Yeah.”

“Whenever you’re ready.”

“I’ll let you know. You know how long moving takes.”

She smiled again, curling her fingers against her palm. "I do.”

He pressed closer. “Gonna miss having all this space. Maybe I’ll buy a huge house somewhere.”

"That would be nice.”

“And maybe we could come back down here in the summer? We could use the pool and stuff.”

"Oh, you know how to spoil me.”

“It would be fun to like take a week off and just chill down here when it’s sunny.”

She smiled up at him. "It would.”

“We’ll do it when the weather is nice.”

"Mmm, I'd like that. I'll have to buy some more summer clothes anyway.”

“Well, summer’s not for a while anyway.”

"No, it's not.”

“The others could come down, we could have a barbecue.”

She looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. "I'm not good with a barbecue.”

“I am.”

"Well, that's good.”

“I’m great in the kitchen, you just won’t let me cook.”

"I'm trying to let you heal!”

“You know I wanna cook, though.”

She huffed. "Fine. You can cook tomorrow."

"Good. You'll enjoy it."

"Oh, you have plans already?”

“Maybe.”

She winked at him. "I like plans.”

He rolled his eyes. “Of course you do.”

"I do!”

“You always make everything gross.” He said, affectionately flicking her.

"I didn't make it gross!”

“You winked!”

“So?"

“That immediately makes it gross!”

"Not my fault your mind is in the gutter!" She protested.

“Come off it, you knew what you were doing!”

She laughed. "Alright, maybe. It's funny, though.”

He wrinkled his nose. “That’s disgusting.”

"Honestly, you're no fun.”

He laughed. “You can have your own fun, and I’ll have mine.”

"Fine."


	21. Chapter 21

They moved back to London the next week - Fao assured her he was ready, and with the help of Ollie and Alex, they got all of his things back to her flat. It was cramped, sure, but they made it work. It wasn't long until Fao had his final appointment and was informed he could go back to work. She drove him over herself, in the Ferrari, and once they were on the motorway on the way back she glanced over at him.

"So, we're celebrating tonight, right?”

“Oh, for sure. I think it’s something worth celebrating.”

She gave him a toothy smile, index finger tapping on the steering wheel to the beat of the music they had on. "Right, what shall we eat?"

"Mmm, I don't know."

"Pasta?" She suggested. "Carbonara could be good."

"What about steak?"

"Only if you cook it."

"Yeah, I'll cook it. Want some wine?"

"Mmm, nothing too heavy."

"I'm sure I've got something."

She frowned at him. "Was there wine in those hundreds of bags?"

"You bet there was."

"Oh my god!" She exclaimed, thumping on the steering wheel. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you'd probably drink it all! And watch my car!"

"Your car is fine!"

"You gotta be gentle with her, she's a lady."

She laughed. "She is fine."

"You're so mean to me and my car. I don't know why you wouldn't let me drive back."

"Because I'm gonna steal your car. I love driving it."

"It's mine! Buy your own. Maybe I'll buy one for you."

"Oh, I'd like that. God knows I can't afford it." She said.

"You should definitely think about getting a car."

"I know." She replied. "It's getting the time to go look at them.”

“Yeah, it’s a pain.”

"So I'll stick to yours.”

“Until I need it.”

She continued to smile at him. "There is that.”

“Since I can drive now.”

"So you can.”

“I’ll be driving all over the place.”

"And leaving me behind?”

“Yup.”

She pouted at him. "You're so mean.”

“And you’re not, threatening to steal my car?”

"You know I'd never really do it." She said.

“I know, I know.”

"So, what wine did you bring?”

“Plenty. I was thinking red tonight. I have some white and some champagne, too, but it won’t be cold. I think I have one bottle of rosé.”

"Red with steak is obvious. We can save the others.”

“Yeah. I’ll stick some of the others in the fridge."

"I just hope you won't eat me out of house and home.”

“Of course I won’t. I do my share, I’ll go shopping next time we need it.”

She reached over to pat his knee. "Alright. When do you think you'll be back at work?”

“Not sure, I need to call my boss.”

"I suppose you do.”

“My sick note isn’t quite over yet.”

"You're going to be exhausted after your first day back." She replied.

“Yeah, I know.”

"I'll look after you.”

“I’ll be alright.”

She switched the indicator on as they neared their exit. “I know. But I’ll still look after you.”

“You’re too sweet.”

“I’m your friend.”

“You’re my roommate now.”

“I suppose I am. I’m not complaining.”

"Good, because nor am I."

She hummed. “Wish you’d stop telling me to have the bed, though. It’s yours while you’re with me.”

"It's your bed, you should have it. The sofabed is fine for me."

“No, you’re a guest.”

"Ely, I spent ten years on and off sleeping on camp beds. A sofabed is luxury."

She shook her head. “Nope. I’m not arguing with you.”

"Because you know you'll lose." He said with a crooked grin. 

“No I won’t. It’s just something that isn’t up for argument in the first place.”

"Because I'm sleeping on the sofabed."

“No, you’re not.” She replied. “You’re sleeping in the bed.”

"I thought you said we weren't gonna argue?"

“You’re the one who keeps trying.”

"Because I'm right."

“No you’re not.”

He smacked her thigh lightly. "I am!"

“You’re not!”

"I so am."

She rolled her eyes. They weren’t getting anywhere with this. 

"Are we almost home?"

“Yeah. Not long now.”

"Mmm, good. We should stop off and buy some steak and stuff."

She nodded. “There’s a Tesco near my flat, we’ll go there.”

"Yeah, perfect."

"What sort of steak do you want?"

"I'd kill for fillet. I don't know what they'll have, though."

"God, I love fillet."

"We'll try and get some fillet, then."

Ely applied the brake as they reached a set of traffic lights, now that they were off of the motorway. "I'm sure they'll have some. What are we having with our steak, chips?

“It’s gotta be chips. I’ll make some garlic butter, too, and a good steak sauce.”

She couldn't help but groan at the thought of it. "It's gonna be amazing, isn't it?”

“So good. Peppercorn, or steak jus?”

"Steak jus, of course.”

“Might take a little longer, but it’ll be worth it.”

The lights changed and she set off with a rev of the engine. "It will.”

“I’m looking forwards to work.” He mused. “It’ll be good to have my mind busy again.”

"It'll be nice to see you about. I've missed working with you.”

“I’ve really missed working in general. I hope my wrist is up to it. It’s not like I’ve practiced.”

"You've been doing your physio, and you've been given the all clear." She pointed out.

“Yeah, that’s true. It’s just different, y’know.”

"I know." She said.

“I hope I don’t fuck up.”

"You won't. And you could ask to come back slowly.”

“Yeah, I feel like I need to sit and practice sutures for a while.”

She had to try not to laugh at her own suggestion. "We could buy a joint and you could practice on that?” 

“That’s a waste of good meat, and I’ve not got a suture kit. It’s fine, I’ll just ask my boss to come in and work in the wet lab.”

"Alternatively, I'll probably end up cutting myself soon, and you can sew that up." She joked.

“Honestly, you’re nightmare.” He teased.

"I'm just clumsy!”

“That’s why I’m doing most of the cooking when we get in.”

"Oh, so I'm banned from the kitchen?" She asked.

“I said most, not all!”

"You might as well just ban me." She replied, her voice light. "It's not the end of the world. I'll just starve when you're at work and I'm not.”

“I won’t ban you, I need you as my slave.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Your slave? Gonna make me do everything for you, rub your feet?”

“Oh, a footrub sounds amazing.”

"Once we're in, maybe.”

“I’d hardly expect you to do it whilst driving. I’m not keen to die in a fiery car crash.”

"Obviously." She replied. "But later, after we've eaten. And if you ask nicely.”

“I’ll always ask nicely.”

Slowing down, she brought the car into the car park. "See any spaces?”

“Uh, don’t wanna be too close to other cars. Go to the back?”

She hummed to herself. "Will do.”

“There should be spaces there.”

"Longer walk, though.”

“We’ve both got legs.”

“So?”

“I’m sure we’ll manage the walk.”

She found a space and pulled into it smoothly. “We’ll have to.”

"And we won't be long when we're in."

“I want some sweets.” She whined. 

“Buy some, then. I’m not stopping you.”

"Makes the trip longer."

"Not by much." He replied, as they headed into the shop. He found himself holding her hand again, and didn't stop himself.

She smiled her herself, squeezing his fingers. No one would recognise them, and it was nice. Who said only people together could hold hands? She didn't care. "Meat is this way."

"Yeah, we'll need that."

“Obviously."

“It’s the whole point.”

She swung their hands a little. "Definitely fillet, or ribeye? The fat is amazing.”

“Mmm, but I want it really rare. Fillet is the way to go, no fat at all.”

"But the fat gives so much flavour!”

“Yeah, but you have to cook fat down.”

"Honestly, you can have it rare."

"I don't like it as much. You can have a ribeye if you fancy?"

"Please." She said.

"One ribeye, one fillet." He decided, finding the right shelf and grabbing what they needed. 

"I'm so glad you're tall enough to reach."

"I'm not that tall."

"Well, you're taller than me and you can reach." She pointed out, holding out the basket she'd picked up for him.

“True.” He murmured, putting the steak into the basket.

"So, any veg?”

“Green beans?”

She began to lead him to the vegetables. "Sounds good.”

“Not too much, we gotta pig out.”

"Why don't we get something for dessert?”

“Oooh, I love the sound of that.”

"What do you want?" She asked.

“Anything with a tonne of sugar in it.”

She laughed. “Cake?"

“Cake is good. Red Velvet?”

"You know the way to my heart.”

“Perfect.”

She leaned up to kiss his cheek. "We'll go over to the cakes once we get some green beans.”

“Yeah, then we’re almost done.”

"What about ice cream to go with it?”

“There’s some in the freezer, I saw it yesterday.”

"What flavour was it?" She asked.

“Cookies and cream.”

"Oh, that goes well.”

“How don’t you know what’s in your own freezer?”

She shrugged. "I've hardly been there.”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re terrible.”

"I'm not!”

“How have you survived this long?”

"I honestly don't know.”

He laughed. “Good job I’m living with you, then.”

"You're my saviour." She agreed.

“Looks like I am.”

They didn’t spend too much longer in the supermarket, got everything they needed and then headed home. Fao set about cooking the steak and the sauce, though he didn’t mind it at all. When it was done, they sat down around Ely’s little table, a glass of wine each. Fao hadn’t quite finished his glass yet, trying to savour it.

Ely felt so full. Leaning back in the chair, she drained her wine glass and then shuffled forwards to reach for the bottle. She'd noticed Fao's glass was getting low, though he was making it last.

"Another glass?" She asked, delicately pouring her own.

He looked up, surprised. "Oh! Uh, I don't know. Don't you want it?"

"There's still some left. If I drink three quarters of the bottle I'll fall over."

"You're welcome to it all, I don't need any more than what I've had."

Ely shook her head. "It's fine. If you want some more, you can have some."

"I really shouldn't, one glass is my limit. I shouldn't be getting drunk, it never ends well."

She frowned at him. "Is it your limit, or what Henri would let you have?"

"He always had the rest of the bottle."

"I don't want the rest of the bottle," she said, "you can have some more, it's fine."

"If you say so."

"Honestly, it's fine. Drink as much as you want, I'm not gonna stop you. There's no limit here."

He nodded and pushed his wine glass closer so she could fill it. "Thank you."

She poured the rest of the wine into his glass. "You're welcome. I'm never going to limit you to one glass, all I ask is that you don't start binge drinking."

He laughed. "I've never been that bad."

"Well, that's good."

"I just did something daft when I was drunk around Henri and that was that. Been on one glass since."

"Even if you do something daft I won't limit you."

"Thanks."

She beamed at him. "Anything for you. Ready for that footrub?"

"You were actually serious about that?!"

"If you want it."

"It does sound kinda nice...."

She pushed her chair back. "Get settled, then."

They ended up settling in the living room, and Ely gave an amazing footrub, though there was a lot of giggling and stupid jokes involved, too.


	22. Chapter 22

After their daft giggles, he spent a few days hiding in the wet labs at work, practicing his suturing with and without his splint. Happy in his own ability, he decided he could return to work fully. The previous evening he'd won against Ely and sent her to sleep in her bed, so he was on the sofabed in the living room. His alarm went off painfully early, and he groaned, reaching out to switch it off. He knew he had a few more minutes before Ely got up and started getting ready, so he just closed his eyes and savoured those moments before she appeared for breakfast. 

She stretched and yawned as she came out of the bedroom, having quickly showered and dressed - nothing more than an old t-shirt and a pair of jeans. She'd put a jumper on before she left. Sleepily, she pulled a bowl from the cupboard and filled it with cereal.

"Do you want some cereal?" She asked, throwing the question over her shoulder.

Fao sighed. "Please!" He called. "An' stick the kettle on? I'll be in in a minute."

"Will do. You're not too stiff, are you?"

He laughed, forcing himself out of bed and into the kitchen. "And what do you mean by that, eh?" He asked with a grin. 

"You know exactly what I mean!" She responded. "Stop being dirty!"

He wrapped his arms around her, resting his head on her shoulder. "I'm fine, stop stressing. I like a firm mattress anyway."

“I’ll stress all I want,” she replied, putting the milk bottle down and leaning back against him, “You’re my guest, you shouldn’t be sleeping on the sofa.”

"We have this conversation every morning. Because I'm a guest the sofa is exactly where I should be sleeping. I really don't mind it."

“I’d feel much better if you slept in the bed.”

"It's fine. I'm not even healing anymore, so you can't use that as an excuse."

“I’d still rather you slept in the bed.”

"Never gonna happen." He replied, letting her go. "Do you want tea?"

“Mmm, please.”

He reached over to grab some mugs and make their tea. "Do you know who you're with today?"

She shook her head. “No. Whoever ends up paged to the same cases as me.”

"Mmm, so you're not on someone's list?"

“Not that I know of. Why? Trying to keep me to yourself?”

"Well, I'd like to see you around. It would be a shame if you're cooped up in theatre with someone else."

“I’m sure you’ll see me about.”

"If I could, I'd steal you and only have you on my cases."

“Is that so?” She asked, making his cereal. 

"Yeah. You're my favourite."

“Aw, cute.”

"I'm very cute."

“You are. I’m sure we’ll end up on the same case sooner or later.”

"We always do."

“Just don’t get jealous if I’m with someone else.” She teased, passing him his bowl. 

"Oh, I'd never." He replied, taking his bowl and passing her her mug of tea, before grabbing his own and sitting down at her little table. 

“You so would.”

"Maybe a little." He said, sipping his tea. 

She beamed. “It’ll be fun, seeing you around again.”

"I've been around for a couple of days already, you've just not seen me."

“Exactly.”

"I'm sure you'll see me." He murmured.

It didn't take them long to get ready for work, Fao disappearing off to shower and dress after he'd eaten. He didn't bother with anything fancy, just a pair of jeans and a large hoodie. He grabbed his back and his keys once he'd done his hair and shoved his shoes on. Then they headed out to the car, where he insisted on driving (because he hadn't driven in so long). 

She had to admit, it was nice not to drive for once. Leaning back in the seat, she watched him idly. “Let’s hope we don’t stay too late.”

"Fingers crossed. If you do, just text me, yeah?"

“Of course. Don’t bother waiting for me, I’ll just get a taxi.”

"If you're gonna be really late I'll go home and come back. Likewise if I'm late, I'll text you, and you can grab my keys and head home."

“You don’t have to come back for me, you’ll be exhausted. Another reason why you should sleep in the bed.”

"Where I sleep won't make an ounce of difference to how tired I am."

“You don’t know that.” She replied. “My bed is amazing.”

"Your sofabed is pretty good too."

“Not as good as the bed.”

He rolled his eyes. "It's fine. I sleep well, and I'm no more achy than usual."

"Please?" She asked. "Do I have to beg?"

"You could, but it wouldn't work." He replied. 

"Not even if I got on my knees?"

"Even then."

She stuck out her bottom lip, folding her arms over her chest. "You'll have to if I take up all the room."

"Yeah, but I'm always in bed first, because we watch TV there."

"I can easily get in bed before you."

"I'll just have to find a way to get you out then."

"I'll just tie myself there."

“As if.”

She laughed. "You don't know what I own."

“I don’t care what you own. There’s nothing to tie yourself to.”

"Lift the cushions up, obviously."

“You’ve put a lot of thought into this.”

She shrugged. "Maybe I've done it already."

“You’d use your bed if you had.”

"You don't know that."

“Why use your sofabed when you could use your actual bed? Don’t wanna have kinky sex in the living room.”

"Why not?"

“Anyone could see.”

She continued to grin. "And your point is?"

“Ugh, gross.” 

She burst out into laughter. "I'm joking. I haven't been laid since I broke up with Alex."

“I know, I’ve been with you most of the time.” He retorted, pulling into the hospital car park and finding a space.

"Unfortunately so."

“Oi!” He protested, killing the engine and getting out, grabbing his bag.

"What?"

“Well, you wanted to stay with me, don’t be mean about it.”

"I'm not being mean."

“You are. I told you to get laid, anyway.” He replied as they headed inside and upstairs to the locker room.

"I know you did."

“So you can’t complain.”

"I'll complain all I want."

"Honestly, you're a pain." He replied.

She pushed open the door to the locker room. "Rude. I'm not a pain at all."

"Yes you are!" He said, finding his locker and opening it before he started to change, pulling his hoodie over his head. 

"Hardly."

He laughed, reaching for a scrub top. "Even if you are a pain we're still friends."

"I can't annoy you that much, then."

"Nah, I love you really."

She turned to smile at him, pulling off her t-shirt. "I love you too." She knew what a big deal it was for him to say that.

“You annoy me just the right amount.”

"Well, that's my life goal.”

That made him laugh again, sitting down to strip out of his jeans. “Of course it is.”

"What are we gonna eat tonight?”

“No idea.”

"We can both think about it and shoot ideas at each other?”

“Yeah. No idea what’s in the fridge.”

"Supermarkets never close now." She replied, pulling off her jeans.

“That’s true.” He answered, pulling on his trousers and the putting his shoes on.

"Pass me a pair of scrub bottoms?”

“Small or Extra Small?”

"Extra small." She replied.

He grabbed a pair and tossed them at her. “There.”

She caught them, only just, and started to pull them on, wiggling as she got them over her hips. "Thanks. I've got some patients to check up on, let's hope I get through them all before I get paged, eh?”

“Oh, as if. But good luck. I need to go talk to my boss.”

"I think you need more luck than me with that.”

“Oh, it’s nothing. She’s tame really.”

"Gonna soften her with some flowers?" Ely teased.

“Nope, just my charming smile. See you later?” He asked, shoving his phone into his pocket and locking his locker.

"Go charm her socks off." She replied, rising up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek before she vanished.

He grinned and headed out just after her, finding his boss and talking to her before he headed out to work. It wasn’t long before his pager went, of course, and he ended up in A&E.

He immediately fell back into the flow of things, liaising with the emergency medicine teams. By the time he arrived the patient had already gone to CT, but the initial x-rays were available for him to look at whilst he waiting for their return. 

They returned after five minutes, Ely with the patient. It was a serious trauma, and she wanted to keep an eye on them to make sure nothing happened. She still shot a smile at her friend and flatmate.

"I told you we'd be working together before long.”

“Indeed. You got any concerns?”

"Just that he's been through the mill, and I'd like him to be fixed up as soon as possible.”

“I’m sure we all echo that sentiment. While we wait for scan results I’ll just do a quick exam.” He murmured.

She nodded. "Feel free.”

Fao hummed, pulling on some gloves, and moved to their patient. “Hey, Tom, I’m Fao. I’m just gonna do a quick exam, nothing to worry about.” He murmured, starting his abdominal exam.

Ely raised an eyebrow at him. "Don't expect him to reply. Paramedics picked him up in town, staring at nothing and oblivious to his wounds. He's on Spice.”

Fao shrugged. “Doesn’t change the fact I’ve still gotta talk to him.” He replied, not looking up. “He might still hear me.”

"I wouldn't pin your hopes on it. Spice is nasty."

"Mmm, I know. Just covering my ass." He told her. "This is going to need sorting in theatre - someone is going to need to page plastics too. Ely, are you happy for anaesthesia with the amount of drugs in his system?"

"It'll be hard work, but yes, I am. Let's just hope his blood pressure doesn't shoot up.”

“I”m sure there’s loads of recent bloodwork. I just want to see the full CT then we can go.”

Ely nodded. "That's fine. It shouldn't be long.”

“It shouldn’t be.” He replied, and not long after the CT arrived. He wasn’t happy with it at all, and once he’d had a chance to review it properly, he made the decision to move to theatre. He could work on the abdominal injuries whilst they waited for neuro and plastics to deal with the amputated fingers. He just hoped Henri was at his private practice and not on call.

She shot him what she hoped was a reassuring smile, and took the patient off to the anaesthetic bay. He'd already had 5mg of midazolam, and 10mg of diazepam as he'd been pretty uncooperative on arrival. He went under surprisingly quickly, and she intubated before wheeling him in.

Now he was going to theatre, Fao had to take his splint off. His mouth was dry as he scrubbed in, and he just hoped he’d do a good job. He’d been out of work for a while. Hopefully his wrist wouldn’t bother him. Once scrubbed, he was ready to work, and once his gown and gloves were on he headed into theatre. 

Before he started, he turned to Ely. 

“You good?”

She nodded. "This is as good as it gets.”

“So long as everyone’s happy for me to proceed.”

"Unfortunately, if we don't operate he'll die anyway." Ely said softly.

“Yeah, this bleeding isn’t good.” He murmured, before he started, teeth worrying his bottom lip.

She settled down in her chair, keeping her eyes on the stats. Her training had never prepared her for a patient who'd taken so much synthetic cannabis. Not to mention that it was Spice, and every production was different. God only knew what chemicals he'd actually ingested, or inhaled. She just had to hope none of them would have an adverse reaction to the anaesthetic. 

“Keep me in the loop with how he’s doing, Ely.” Fao murmured, focused on his work. It was tricky, and he wasn’t used to this kind of delicate work. He’d get used to it, he was sure. It was just a little weak, he’d need to build it up. He was struggling a little, and in the end, after a lot of swearing, he got Chris to do it. He’d just let him do most of the op, and he would supervise.

She did as he asked, informing him of the patient's stats every few minutes. But not long after Chris took over, his blood pressure shot up and she swore.

"He's hypertensive!" She called out, and turned to her nurse. "10mg of Labetalol, please.”

Fao acknowledged what Ely was dealing with, but just kept a close eye on Chris. The blood pressure rising would aggravate the bleeding and make it a lot worse. It was just a pain he couldn’t really step in to do anything. He hoped the medication was working. 

“How you doing, Lozier?”

She could feel her anger rising. "Do you want me to sugarcoat it?”

“Never. Give it to me real.”

"Medication is doing fuck all. I'm expecting his heart to cut out any second."

"Ah, fuck."

She sighed. "There's nothing else I can do on my side. I've exhausted all options."

"Okay. I doubt anything is gonna hold at this rate. What's his pressure at?"

"190/100." She replied tensely.

“Fuck.”

"There's nothing else I can do." She said, as the monitor started beeping. She sighed again. "You gonna call it or me?”

He groaned. “Really I ought to start CPR.”

"Go on then.”

With Chris’ help Fao prepped for CPR quickly and started, even though it hurt. Like, a lot. Twenty minutes passed, then a bit longer, and eventually he had to take a step back. He didn’t want to, but he had to. 

“Time of death, 0932.” He murmured. This wasn’t the way he’d wanted his first patient back to go.

Ely stood - there was no such thing as a surgical field now, given the patient was dead. She reached out to pat Fao's arm. "C'mon. I'll get the nurses to sort him out.”

Fao nodded. “Chris, you too. I think we all deserve a break.”

Chris hummed, and headed out of theatre with Fao and Ely. Once they were in the corridor, Fao turned to them. “Shall we go to my office for some peace?”

“I’m fine, I’m gonna go and see if Alex is on break yet.” Chris replied, disappearing off.

Ely watched the registrar leave. "Alex, eh? He's brave.”

“Yeah, they’ve been close for a while.” Fao replied tiredly, as they headed to his office. “I should have asked him to do CPR though, my wrist wasn’t ready for that.”

"Is it okay?”

“Yeah, just a bit sore.”

"Okay. You can take some paracetamol or ibuprofen if you want.”

“I reckon it’ll settle.” He replied.

"Okay." She said again, absently rubbing his arm. "So, Chris is running after Alex? Do you think she's teasing him or she's actually interested?”

“Last time we spoke I got the feeling she was genuinely interested.”

"Good for her." She commented. 

“Yeah, they seem good friends.”

"I'm honestly really happy for her." She said softly.

"Me too."

She smiled up at him. "Bets on how long it'll last?"

"I dunno. I'd like to say it'd last a while. They both deserve something good." He said, as they reached his office. He wasn't looking as he typed in the code, but when the door opened he stopped dead. He stuff was piled everywhere, it looked like absolutely everything from Henri's house. 

Ely stared at the boxes. "Well, it looks like someone was busy."

"This is.... Everything." He said, finally forcing himself into the room. "My clothes, my books, even the bedsheets I bought."

She pushed a box out of the way with her foot, starting to clear a path. "I wouldn't complain. At least you don't have to go back there now."

"I was just gonna leave it." He murmured. "The only thing I wanted was my army boots and my dress uniform." 

"We could give all this away to charity?"

"I'll keep it now I have it, since I want most of these clothes. My army stuff was the only thing I was desperate to get back."

"Alright." She said, continuing to clear a path. "God knows how we'll get this all back."

"I don't know." He said quietly.

"We'll figure it out later. Do you want a cuppa?"

"Yeah." He replied, making his way to the little sofa and sitting down heavily. He fumbled to get his splint back on, looking around the room. Things were definitely over with Henri. Why did he feel so sad?

She hurried off to make two cups of tea, figuring that he'd need a moment to wrap his head around all of his possessions being dumped in his office. The office door was propped open when she came back, and she slipped inside and passed Fao his steaming mug.

"Come here." She said, holding out her arms.

He put his tea down on the coffee table and hugged her, pressing himself against her and sucking in a deep breath.

"I've got you." She murmured. "It's okay to feel confused, or upset. That's just how it is sometimes."

"After all he did to me, I can't believe I'm so upset." He said quietly. "It was four years..."

"He made you feel like you needed him, and now that he's gone you don't know what to do. It was a big chunk of your life, he helped you recover after the army."

"I was so glad to be free of him, to recover with you. It's just... This is everything. My whole life with him, condensed into boxes."

"We'll get it out of boxes as soon as we can." She promised.

"Yeah. I didn't expect this. I figured he'd just throw it all out."

"At least you've got it back," she said, "you don't have to buy a whole new wardrobe."

"Yeah."

"And you can show me that dress uniform." She tried to tease, hoping to cheer him up.

"My dress uniform is great." He mumbled. "Didn't you ever see Alex's?"

"The women's is shit."

"You're only saying that because the skirt is long."

"It's still shit. The mens is so much hotter."

He managed a weak laugh. "I suppose."

"It is! Maybe you can show me it," she suggested, "or! You could do a sexy calendar. Proceeds to Help for Heroes or something."

"No way am I doing a sexy calendar."

"Why not?"

"I don't have time! And I'm hardly that sexy anyway."

She shook her head. "Friend to friend, you're fucking hot."

"Oh, please." He said, wrinkling his nose. 

"You are!"

"I'll take your word for it." He replied, escaping her grasp to grab his tea. 

She laughed a little. "You know I don't lie."

"Not often."

“Yeah, I don’t lie.” She said.

"Thanks for the tea, though."

“You’re welcome. A cup of tea solves everything.”

"Yeah. It was a real shame about that kid, though."

She let out a long breath. “It is. We tried, and did our best. Sometimes that just isn’t enough.”

"Yeah. Fucking drugs."

“Whatever pushed him to drugs, it’s over now.”

"Yeah. I think there's such a stigma around cannabis that it's safe, and that shit just makes it more dangerous."

“Not to mention it’s not even weed. It’s synthetic, every batch is different.”

"Exactly my point. Everyone just goes "oh cannabis, it's just weed" when really it's far more dangerous."

She rested her head against his shoulder. “Have you ever done weed?”

"Yeah. I did it a lot in uni."

“Anything else?”

"Uh, ecstasy a couple of times."

She stared at him. “Don’t tell me you were one of those idiots that annoys everyone. Messing about, shouting in the canteen...”

"Oh, hardly. Weed was for hanging with friends and the ecstasy was at a couple of parties. I didn't get high during the day."

“And here I am, thinking I was dying over pot brownies.” She joked. 

He laughed. "That's the thing about edibles - you gotta be careful." He teased. "And you know now I've had ket, just not recreationally."

“That you have. It looked fun.”

"It was, but I wouldn't recommend breaking your wrist for it."

She curled her legs up underneath her. “I won’t.”

"Good. It's not worth it. I wonder if things might have gone better if I hadn't had to let Chris take the lead earlier."

Ely shook her head. “I don’t think so. It wasn’t a surgical error. His body just couldn’t cope with all the drugs and the trauma.”

"I guess."

“It was. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

"Wasn't exactly how I wanted my first case to go."

“I know. But it’s only up from here.”

"Can't go any worse." He mused. 

“It can’t.”

He made a soft noise. "Chris did well though."

“He did. You must be proud of him.”

"Yeah, he's come on a long way. He does quite a lot on his own now."

"He's gonna give you a run for your money."

"Of course he will. But I have a feeling I'm going to be relying on him for a while."

Ely shrugged. "It's good for both of you."

"Yeah. Today was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be."

"It'll get easier." She promised.

"Yeah, I know. It just felt like for a few minutes I was back to normal and then I realised I wasn't."

"You'll be back to normal before long."

"Yeah, hopefully."

She laced their fingers together. “You will.”

“Mmmhmm. I wish I was allowed to wear some sort of support in theatre.”

“Infection control and all that.” She replied. 

“Yeah, it’s too much of a risk. I’ll just have to get through it.”

“Maybe you could just do general for a bit?” She suggested. 

He shrugged. “Maybe. I wouldn’t have Chris, though. I’ll see how I get on this week.” He drained his tea, and then stood up. “We should get back to work, though. I’ll think about what to do with all this stuff.”

“You’re right. Just don’t push yourself too hard, yeah?”

“We’ll see.” He replied, slipping out of his office and back to work.

His day was long and difficult but he finally finished and headed home with Ely. He was aching and tired, and didn't even have the energy to fight with Ely over the bed. The week was tough, too, and by the end he was absolutely exhausted.


	23. Chapter 23

Fao spoke to his boss and ended up switching to general for a bit, to allow him to take his time and get his dexterity back. He'd been lucky not to see Henri that whole week, which was a relief, and he moved all his stuff from the office to Ely's flat. 

But he wasn't lucky forever. 

Striding down the halls to meet with a colleague about a case, he smacked straight into someone. 

"Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't...." His apology died in his throat as he realised who he'd just smacked into. He knew it just from the smell of his aftershave. 

“All you ever did was say sorry.” Henri spat. 

Fao squared his shoulders, refusing to let himself be intimidated by him. "Don't start, Henri."

“Why, what are you going to do? You’re a coward,” was the reply, “surprised you haven’t killed yourself. Surely that’s what you ran away to do. Did that slut Lozier stop you?”

“Well, things have changed. You don’t scare me, Henri. I bumped into you, I apologised, lets move on.”

He smiled, but it held no warmth. “You are fucking her, aren’t you? Or, rather, she’s fucking you. You’ve never been good for anything but taking cock.”

“No, I’m not. We’re friends. Look, I’ve got work to do and I know you have too. Why don’t you just fuck off and stop bothering me? You’ve made it perfectly clear I’m not a part of your life anymore. Thanks for the stuff by the way.”

“You keep telling yourself that. You’re useless.”

"No, I'm not." He said firmly. "You've left enough of a mark on me, Henri. You've got your pound of flesh. Move on."

“What are you going to do if I don’t?”

"Just go, Henri." Fao said tiredly.

Henri laughed at him. “I knew you had no fight left in you. I’m not stopping you from walking away, am I?”

Fao thought about walking away, he did. But then he set his jaw and threw a punch (admittedly with his bad hand) aiming directly for Henri’s stupidly smug face.

There was a slight crunch as his fist collided with his ex’s jaw, and Henri stumbled backwards, tripping over his own feet and falling to the floor. Furious, he spat blood from his mouth. 

“You fucking cunt!”

Fao laughed. “Doesn’t feel so good from the other side, does it?” He asked, shaking out his wrist.

Henri stood up. “I should beat you for that.”

“Yeah, but you won’t.” He replied, folding his arms over his chest. “Go on, run along. You’ve got people’s confidence to ruin.”

Henri spat again and turned. He walked away with his head held high. 

Beaming, Fao carried on down the corridor and back to his colleague, ignoring the bruises forming on his knuckles.

The rest of the day, Fao felt like he was walking on air. His hand hurt more than usual, and he struggled, but his attitude made up for it and kept him going. When he got home, he was tired but elated.

“Ely! Miss me?” He called as he got inside. 

"Isn't it meant to be 'honey I'm home!'?" She called back from the kitchen.

“Well, yeah, but I don’t call you honey.” He replied, wandering into the kitchen to find her.

"You can call me it if you want. It's only a word.”

“You’re my friend, not my honey.” He replied, but pulled her into a hug from behind as he arrived into the kitchen.

She smiled to herself, putting the knife she was using to chop vegetables down and leaned back against him. "I can still be your honey. Loads of people call their friends honey.”

“No they don’t.”

"They do!”

“They don’t. How’re you getting on with the cooking?”

She hummed. "I'm actually doing well.”

“No cuts or burns yet?”

She frowned, and showed him her thumb, wrapped in a plaster.

“Oh, Ely.” He huffed. “I hope you didn’t bleed on our food.”

She turned to look up at him. "I didn't. The knife just slipped.”

“Good. I don’t wanna eat your blood.”

"You won't be.”

“That shit’s nasty.”

She rolled her eyes, reaching up to work his hair free of its bun. "Good job it didn't happen.”

He groaned, as his hair fell around his shoulders. “Need a hand?”

She worked the strands free of tangles. "No, it's fine. You go sit down.”

“Mmm, you sure? I think I fancy some wine tonight.”

"I'm sure. It's just a veg stir fry, it won't be much longer." She replied, her fingers pausing on his cheeks before she dropped them. 

He smiled. “Wine, then?”

“Please."

He hummed and moved away to grab the wine out of the fridge, pouring them each a glass. He passed her hers, smiling. "There. It's medicinal."

She sipped it, smiling back at him. "Is it really?"

"Mmm, yeah. I say so, so it must be."

"Because you're a doctor?"

"Yeah. I'm an expert."

She put her glass down, turning back to her cooking. "I suppose you are. Go rest your feet while I finish this."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure. It's barely a cut, and I've finished cutting things now."

"Alright then, I'll just settle down and let you wait on me hand and foot." He replied with a grin, sitting down at her little dining table.

"Oh, so I'm a waitress now?"

"I guess you are."

She draped a tea towel over her forearm. "Best get into character."

He laughed. "Look at you, eh?"

"I'll have you know I was a waitress in uni."

"Oh yeah?"

She turned her back to him, throwing the veg into the wok. "Yeah. I'm amazing at pulling a pint."

"So were you a waitress or a barmaid?" 

"Well, technically, both. It was only a small place, everyone mucked in."

"Oh, how cute."

She looked over her shoulder at him. "Obviously."

"Well, you're very cute."

"That's lovely."

"I can be very lovely."

She hummed, stirring the food around. "I know that."

"I'm a ray of sunshine." He said, undoing his splint and slipping it off, sighing. 

"You make my day brighter." She joked.

"Have I made your evening brighter?"

"You definitely have," she said, "I actually missed you."

"Oh, that's adorable."

"I guess I'm not used to it being quiet here." She replied.

"Well, I'm off tomorrow."

"That's good. We can both have a lie in."

"Mmm, I can't wait. We could go out for brunch?"

"Only if you're paying."

"I wouldn't suggest it otherwise."

She reached for a couple of plates. "Alright then."

"It'll be nice to get out."

"It will."

He sipped his wine, humming. "Maybe we could do something after. Like go shopping or see a film?"

“A film would be nice. If we go shopping I’ll just buy unnecessary shit.” She replied, serving the food and placing the plates on the table. 

"And? That's the joy of it. Thanks for cooking."

“I’ll have nowhere to put it.”

"Move my stuff. I need to take some of it back to Surrey I think."

“You’d have to do that first.”

"Well, yeah, but the flat can be a bit full for a day or so."

She started to dig in. “There’s no rush.”

"I suppose not." He murmured, starting to eat. The food was good, and once they'd both finished and cleared up the kitchen, Fao headed off to shower and get into his pyjamas before he settled on the sofabed in front of the TV. 

Ely had beaten him there, settling under the covers before he could - he always said that once he was under he wasn't moving, so she'd play him at his own game.

He cuddled up to her. "Are you trying to stake a claim on my bed?"

"It's my bed. You're sleeping in the proper bed tonight."

"No I'm not. This is my bed, you sleep in the proper bed because it's your flat."

She shook her head. "You are. I'm not moving."

"I'm not moving either. I'm comfortable."

"I'll make you move."

"Wow, that's just threatening."

"I want you to sleep in the bed." She whined.

"I'm happy in this bed. Besides, I've been sleeping in these sheets for days, they're probably gross. You don't wanna sleep in them."

She rolled her eyes. "I washed them today, so your argument is void."

"Oh, come on!"

“No!” She replied. “You can sleep in the bed.”

"I'm sleeping here. I'm already in my pyjamas and settled, I'm not moving now." He told her, shifting to spread out in the bed, resting a leg on top of her. 

“Well, so am I.” She said. “And now you’ve trapped me. Was that your plan?”

“No, my plan was to annoy you.”

She gave him a smug smile. "It hasn't worked.”

He pressed his cold feet to her legs. “What about now?”

She shrugged, suppressing a shiver. "Not bothered. They'll warm up.”

“You’re always cold, though.”

"I'll warm up too.”

He laughed. “I’ll just have to think about how else to annoy you, then.”

"Yeah, you will.”

He hummed, and fell quiet for a minute, musing how best to force her out of bed.

Now that he'd fallen silent, she left him be for a couple of minutes and then began to poke him. Not too hard, just enough to be annoying.

He huffed. "Really?"

"What?" She asked, poking his side.

“You’re like a child.”

"And your point is?”

“Genuinely like a toddler that wants something. What is it? You want some juice, you baby?”

She shrugged. "Juice would be good. Don't think I have any sippy cups, though."

"You're just trying to get me out of bed now."

"No I'm not. Go get me some juice."

"Want it watered down?" He teased.

"Mmm, go on then."

He laughed and got up, finding a little cup in the kitchen. He put a little orange juice in and then filled it with mostly water, then returned to bed, passing her the cup. "There, little baby."

She laughed, taking the cup from him. "I've got you wrapped around my little finger, haven't I?"

"Don't go getting any ideas. I hope you enjoy your watered down juice."

"I am doing.”

“Gross.”

"Oh, shut up.”

“Who wants to drink watery juice?”

"Me." She replied. "It's just a drink.”

“It’s gross.”

"You're gross." She shot back.

“That’s harsh.”

She shrugged, placing the cup down and slipping further under the covers. "Leave me and go to the bed, then.”

“Mmm, I think I’ll just stay here.”

She did her best to spread out, digging her elbow into his ribs. "I'll make you uncomfortable.”

“Two can play that game.” He replied, shifting to lay full on top of her.

She pushed at his shoulders. "You're squishing me!"

"Good."

"How is that good?" She replied. "You weight like twice as much as me!"

"Move to your bed, then."

"Can't, you've squished me. I'm stuck to the sofa."

"I'll get off if you say you'll go to your own bed."

She shook her head. "No."

"Then I'll stay squashing you."

"You'll regret it."

"Will I?"

She nodded, giving up trying to push him off. "You should let me up."

"Why. What're you gonna do to me?"

"Knee you in the balls."

"Wow. That's cruel."

"You're squishing me."

"And?"

"That's cruel too." She pointed out.

"It's hardly as bad."

“I can’t breathe.”

“You’re talking, of course you can breathe.”

She pouted up at him. “Please?”

He huffed and got off. “Fine. You can breathe again now.”

She made a show of drawing in a long, deep breath. “Thanks. I feel like a pancake.”

“Stop being so dramatic.”

“You can’t stop me.”

“Drama queen.”

She smiled at him, and pressed up to him. “Like you care.”

“Looks like we’re both sleeping here tonight, then."

“If you won’t move, yeah.”

“I’m not moving, and I know you’re not going to either.”

She slipped her hand under his top. “Guess we should get comfy.”

“Guess we should.”

“Though I’m comfy already.”

“I’m not bad.”

She hummed quietly to herself. "We're not even watching the tv.”

“We should just turn it off.”

She twisted, reaching for the remote and turning it off. "We don't need it anyway.”

“We don’t. What about music?”

She pressed her lips together, trying not to laugh. "You do know most people only have music on because they're fucking, right?”

“Fuck off.” He retorted. “We can listen to music just to fill the empty air.”

"Everyone probably thinks we're together anyway.”

“Or something like that.”

"You'll get the rumour mill going." She joked.

“It’s going already.”

"They can think what they want." She said, closing her eyes. "You're my friend, and I like living with you.”

“Me too, even if we do fight over the bed all the time.”

"You can sleep in it tomorrow.”

“Never.”

She huffed. "What if we set up a rota of sorts?”

“Why don’t you just give up and sleep in your own bed? I’m already looking at somewhere to move to.”

"Because I don't want you to get stiff sleeping on this.”

“I don’t. I love a firm mattress. I’ll be out of your hair soon enough, honestly.”

She pushed away the sadness at the thought of him leaving her. She'd grown used to his presence, she didn't really want him to move out. “Okay."

“We won’t have to fight for too much longer.”

"We're not really fighting.”

“I suppose not. We used to share back in Surrey, though. What if we just shared your bed?”

She shrugged. "It's plenty big enough.”

“But now I’m not moving.”

"So, despite the fact we've just agreed to share the bed, you're not gonna move?" She asked. "Is this a ploy to get me to get in the bed?"

"Well, I won't deny I like the company. But in general I'm just lazy."

"We'll be comfier in the bed."

"Yeah, but I'm warm." He murmured, fingers skimming over her skin where her shirt had ridden up.

"We can get warm over there."

"Mmm, but we'll have to get cold first."

"Not if we're quick."

He laughed. "You go, I'll stay here.”

“But then you’re ignoring the agreement!”

He rolled his eyes, and got out of bed. "Fine. C'mon." He grumbled, pulling back the duvet and gathering her up in his arms. "We'll go to the proper bed."

She laughed. “You’re strong.”

"Of course I am."

“I didn’t think you could carry me.”

"Of course I can carry you, don't be daft." He replied, pushing his way into the bedroom and setting her down. "There. Carried."

“Mmm, come join me in bed.”

He grinned and slipped into bed next to her, stretching out a little before snuggling up to her, a hand pushing her top up a little to trace patterns on her stomach. 

She shivered. “See, that wasn’t so hard.”

"For you, maybe."

“It wasn’t for you, either. And you chose to pick me up.”

"I hoped it'd shut you up too."

She hummed, reaching for his hand to lace their fingers together. “Might have worked.”

He winced, the way she took his hand catching his sore knuckles. "Ow, careful with me."

“Why?”

"I, uh, bruised myself up earlier. I'm a bit sore."

“What did you do?”

"Well, I met Henri in the theatre corridors..."

“And?” She prompted. 

"He tried his usual shit but I was tired and not in the mood so when he pushed me to my limit I, uh, punched him in the face."

“Bloody hell!” She exclaimed.

"He just wouldn't fuck off. In hindsight, should have swung with the other hand, but it shut him up."

She was quiet for a while. “Well, it’s the least he deserved.”

"I know I shouldn't have done it but it felt amazing."

“I’m sure it did. Is your wrist okay?”

"Sore, I jarred it a little, but it's alright. Still moves fine."

“Good.” She murmured. “Can’t believe you bruised your knuckles.”

"I hit him hard."

“Did he fall over?”

"Yeah."

She grinned. “That’s brilliant. I’m proud of you for standing up to him, that took guts.”

"I think I just snapped."

“It’s still good.”

“I felt more like the old me.”

She rubbed her hand over his chest. “Good. You’re getting there.”

“Yeah. The me Alex will remember.”

“She will. I didn’t know you then.”

“No. But you’ll know me now. The real me.”

“I will.”

He sighed. "I'm so lucky to be living with you right now. Thank you."

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

"You're too cute."

She shrugged. “I like having you here. Sometimes living alone can feel too lonely.”

"Living alone sucks. I'd like to get a dog or something, but not with the hours we work."

She sighed now. “It wouldn’t be fair.”

“It wouldn’t.”

“It would be nice, though.”

“It really would.”

She looked up at him. "Maybe a cat.”

“Maybe.”

"More independent." She said softly.

"A cat would definitely be nice. Just some company, y'know?"

“Yeah. When you leave me.”

"Oh, don't make it sound so dramatic!"

“But it is!”

"It's not. It's not like you're never gonna see me again."

She frowned at him. “But I won’t have anyone to cuddle or cook for me when I cut myself.”

"Aww, bless. You'll survive, though."

“Will I?”

"I'm sure you will."

She shook her head. “I’ll suffer.”

"Move somewhere bigger and I'll stay."

“What’s wrong with my flat?” She asked. 

"I'll need my own room."

“So you don’t like cuddling.” She grumbled playfully. 

"I do, but I can't keep my stuff in your room."

“Yeah you can. There’s loads of room.”

“Not forever, though.”

“We could get a bigger place together,” she suggested hesitantly, “and split the bills. Neither of us would be lonely.”

“Yeah, that would be fun. Like roomies.”

“Exactly. Then you can stop trying to force me to sleep in the bed.”

“Well, I can look for two bed places?”

She nodded tiredly. “Okay.”

“Mmm, why don’t we sleep? I’m tired.”

“Half way there already.” She replied thickly. He was warm and comfortable. 

“Yeah. Goodnight.” He murmured.


	24. Chapter 24

Ely was quiet and reserved for the next few days, coming in from work and shutting herself away in the bedroom. She knew she should distract herself, sit with Fao and talk about everything and nothing, but she just couldn’t find the energy. As the anniversary she was dreading loomed closer, she picked at her food and forced herself to drink. 

She got home late on that day she hated, having been kept behind by an emergency cardiac surgery. She’d been fighting with herself all day, trying to keep busy, but a surgery for a man who’d had a heart attack and hadn’t pulled through was too close to the bone. Somehow she made it home through the tears, and while she’d always made a little effort not to hide before dinner, now she all but ran to the bedroom and shut the door with a slam so hard the sound echoed around the flat. 

Fao had been home all day, and he’d noticed how strange Ely had been acting the past few days. He couldn’t work out why, but let her work through it on her own, not wanting to pry. He’d already made food and eaten, not sure when she’d be home. Her food had been waiting for her, but the way she came in and slammed the doors made him jump and he had to take a few minutes to remind himself he was living with Ely, not Henri. But he came to his senses, warming up her food, and then headed to the bedroom, knocking softly on the door. 

“Ely? Are you alright? I’ve got food.”

She’d say down with her back to the door, her knees to her chest and her head in her hands. Her shoulders shook with sobs she could no longer hold in, and the necklace she cherished felt heavy around her neck, like a lump of lead pulling her down. She almost didn’t hear her friend through her stuttering breath. Alex has always held her, soothed her. She’d embraced her today, hugging her tight to remind her that even though they weren’t together any longer, she was there. 

Hiccuping, she wiped her nose on the back of her hand. 

“N-no.” Was all she could get out. 

“Do you wanna eat?”

“No.” She said again. 

“Okay, I’ll leave your food in the kitchen. Do you want to talk?”

“I don’t k-know.”

“That’s okay.” He replied. “Are you sure you don’t want something to eat?”

“I’ll be sick if I eat.” She always was. The grief never got easier. 

He put the food down on the side and sat against the door. "Alright. I'm here if you want to talk."

“I dunno.”

"Do you want me to stay or would you rather I left?"

“Stay. P-please.” She croaked. 

"Okay, I can stay. We'll just sit for a while. Do you need anything? Water, a tissue?"

She swallowed, hiccuping again. “Tissues would be g-great.”

He hummed, standing up and getting some tissues. He came back, knocking on the door before he opened it, keeping his gaze down as he passed her the tissues. "Here."

"W-will you sit with me?"

"You want me to come in, or stay the other side of the door?"

"Come in." She decided.

He nodded and slipped inside. "Let's get comfy and sit on the bed?"

She shrugged. She liked the hardness of the floor, it kept her present. She didn't want to be comfortable on this day.

"You don't wanna?"

"Shouldn't be comfy." She whispered.

"Okay, we'll sit on the floor." He murmured, sitting down on the floor, leaning against the bed.

She blew her nose in a tissue. "Sorry."

"That's okay. Do you want to talk or just sit?"

She knew she should talk to him, but it was hard. "Do you.... do you know?"

He'd texted Alex, but not had a response. So he had no idea. "Uh, no? You don't have to tell me, we can just sit."

"Should p-probably tell you."

He rubbed a hand over her thigh. "Whatever you want, honey. Tell me or don't, it's your decision. I'll sit here all night if you want, and we don't have to stay a word."

"You deserve to k-know," she said, swallowing thickly again, "it's my.... my papa. He d-died fifteen years ago."

"Oh, sweetie. The anniversary is today?" He asked softly, wrapping his free arm around her. "Have you called your mum?"

"N-not yet. Was busy."

"Why don't you give her a call, yeah? I'm sure she's hurting just as much as you are."

She shrugged. "I dunno what to say."

"She's your mum, you don't have to say anything special."

"Still dunno what to say."

"Tell her you love her."

Ely shook her head. “She k-knows that.”

"Alright, maybe we'll call her later." Fao said softly.

“Yeah.” She said. “Can I have a hug?”

"Of course you can, come here." He said, opening his arms for her.

She could have fallen against him. Instead, she slowly climbed into his lap, wrapping her arms around him and hiding her face against his shoulder. 

"Oh, sweetie, it's okay." He soothed, rubbing her back. "I've got you."

“T-today was just so hard.”

"Yeah. I know what it's like. But it's okay, you're allowed to be upset."

She was fighting tears again. “C-cardiac a-arrest.”

"Shhh, it's okay." He soothed. He didn't know if she was talking about work or her dad or both, but he wouldn't push her. She'd tell him what she wanted to tell him. 

“It’s just s-so unfair.”

"I know, it's not. It never is."

“I miss him.”

"Of course you do, sweetheart. I miss my dad every day. It's okay. Days like this are hard, but you've got to remember the good times, yeah?"

She sniffed. "Y-yeah."

"And I'm sure there were loads of good times, eh?"

"Yeah, there were."

"You just have to remember them."

She nodded. "Yeah."

He rubbed over her back. "You must be shattered from work and all this, honey. Why don't you have a nice bath or a shower? It'll help you feel better."

She sniffed again, and her voice was muffled against his shoulder. "A bath sounds nice."

"Why don't we run you a bath, then?" He murmured.

"Please." 

"Mmm, c'mon then." He murmured, waiting for her to get off of him so he could get up. 

It took her a moment, but she slipped off of his lap, sitting back on the floor with her arms around her knees.

He stood up, paused for a minute, and then ruffled her hair before he left to run the bath for her. When it was done, he came back into the bedroom. 

"Your bath's ready, Ely." He murmured.

"Thank you."

"There's loads of bubbles in it, you can take your time in there. Do you need a hand getting up?"

"Yeah." She said quietly. "My legs are stiff."

He offered her a hand and helped her to her feet, then led her to the bathroom. "There you go. Take your time, and shout if you need anything."

“I will do. Thank you so much.” She didn’t know what she’d done to deserve him, but his understood and he didn’t press. 

"You're welcome." He replied, hesitantly pressing a quick kiss to her cheek before he left. 

Once he’d left she took off her clothes, leaving them in a rumpled pile in the corner. There was a fresh towel on the radiator, and it looked like he’d left her some of his pyjamas, too. She didn’t quite manage a smile, but it warmed her heart that he was so caring. She told herself her papa would be proud of her for everything she had achieved as she settled back in the hot water. 

With Ely in the bath, Fao went to the main room and ended up calling Ely’s mum. He apologised for calling her so late, expressed his sympathies for her loss, and then asked if she’d speak to Ely. No matter what he said or did he couldn’t quite brighten her mood and stop the tears. Grace agreed to speak to her daughter, thanking Fao for trying to help. 

Eventually, Ely got out and finished speaking with her mum, and then Fao curled up in bed with her, running his fingers through her hair and soothing her. The both of them fell asleep in the end, Fao holding her close.


	25. Chapter 25

Ely felt better in the morning, and apologised to Fao, who told her not to be silly. It was a few days before she was back to normal, and then they got back into the swing of work. Each evening was spent on the sofa before they retreated to bed together, talking quietly and holding each other. Gradually, they started looking for a larger flat, and booked a couple of viewings. It was hard to organise with their rotas changing all the time, but before long they were pulling up outside the first flat. 

Fao flashed her a smile. "You excited? This one looked good."

She nodded. “Yeah. Let’s not pin all of our hopes on it, though.”

"Of course not. But it's still exciting."

“It is,” She agreed, “is the agent here yet?”

He checked his phone. "They said they're five minutes away."

“That’s good.”

"Yeah, not too long to wait."

She looked up at the flat. “It looks nice from here.”

"Yeah, and the area looks nice. It'll be an easy drive to work."

“It will.”

Before too long, the agent arrived, and Ely and Fao greeted her before they headed into the flat.

The flat was up a couple of flights of stairs. Once they got to the flat, they stood in the hallway as the rooms were pointed out to them. The kitchen and living room were a decent size, as were the bedrooms. The agent smiled at them. 

“Would you be looking to expand in the future? Maybe have a child?” She asked. 

Fao flushed red. "Oh, we're not together. We're just looking to room together. Share bills and stuff."

“Oh, I’m sorry! It’s terrible for me to assume. Would you like to have a look around yourselves?”

He laughed. "We get it all the time." He said with a smile. "We're just friends. A look around ourselves would be nice."

“I’ll wait outside for you.” She said, and left. Ely grinned at Fao. 

“Do you want kids, dear?” She asked. 

He laughed. "Well, perhaps."

She moved over to the first bedroom. “I’m sure you’ll find someone.”

“I hope so. But I’m looking forwards to being single for a while.”

“I know you are. I love being single.”

“Not sure if I want to settle down yet. I’d always had plans to settle with Henri…”

She turned back and took his hand, squeezing it gently. “You’ll find someone to settle with.”

“I hope so.”

“You will.” She said firmly. “Come on, let’s have a look around.”

“Yeah, it’s nice. But I’d like some garden space, y’know?”

“Yeah,” She agreed, “we’ll go crazy otherwise.”

“And I’m definitely not going down those stairs every time I want a smoke.”

She laughed. "Shame. It does look nice.”

“Yeah. We’ll find somewhere.”

"Shall we go tell the agent, then?”

“Yeah, I think we should.”

She let go of his hand, wishing she could keep hold of it. But she couldn't, and so she had no choice. She lead the way outside, and shook her head to the agent. "We'd like easy access to outside, maybe a garden."

The agent nodded. "Understandable. Thanks for letting me know."

“That’s alright. I’m sure we’ll be in contact if we see something else we like on your website.”

"Please do be in touch." The agent said, shaking their hands before they headed off. Fao leaned against the car, not willing to get in just yet. 

"Maybe we should look at actual houses to rent."

She shrugged. “Might be an idea.”

"We'll get more garden space and stuff."

“Bigger rooms.”

"That too. I'd love a good kitchen."

She smiled at him. “You’re like a chef.”

"I like cooking, so sue me."

She shrugged. “Let’s go home and look online?”

"Yeah, let's." He replied, getting into the car.

She got into the passenger seat. "We could get the blanket out and cosy up."

"Aw, that'd be cute."

"Exactly."

"And we're very cute. Planning a family, apparently."

She snorted. "Apparently so. I'd love three kids."

"Yeah? I think I'd like one or maybe two."

"You've gotta have at least two," she replied, "one kid might get lonely."

"I was an only child. I was alright."

"So was I, and I was jealous of all my friends with their siblings." She said. "More than one is fun."

"I liked it, being independent."

"Weird." She teased.

"I lived in that big house all on my own when I was 18."  
"Bloody hell."

"Yeah. During my a levels."

"Old money?" She asked.

"Yeah, and an inheritance."

"Lucky you."

"Uh, you could say that." He murmured, as they made their way home. 

She settled back in the chair, her hands clasped together in her lap. "Not that I was unlucky. Just didn't have a mansion."

He laughed. "Both of my parents were well off. They bought the big house to settle." He murmured. "Dad was living in Galway and Mum was from Edinburgh. They met at university."

She hummed. "And here you are, living in London. I don't even have an interesting lineage."

He shrugged. "I like the pace of London."

"My parents are from Surrey. But you know that already, I swear."

"Yeah, because I know your mum."

"She keeps trying to get me to go over again." She said.

"You should go." He urged.

She shrugged. "At some point. We're a little busy right now."

"Yeah. When work's not so crazy. But I don't mind you borrowing the car."

Ely shook her head. "And how would you get to work?"

"Ollie. Or Alex."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'll steal Alex's bike or something."

She hummed. "Okay. I'll think about it. Want to find a new place to live first."

"Yeah, it would be nice. But we're not that rushed."

"We're not. But I'd still like to get it sorted, first."

"I get it. Moving is such a pain."

"It really is." She agreed.

"Why are we doing this again?" He joked, grinning. 

"Because you don't like sharing a bed with me, I don't know why."

"We need our space."

"There's plenty of space!" She defended. "Don't you think it's nice to go to sleep with someone next to you?"

"Yeah, but I feel bad."

"How so? I don't mind sharing with you."

"I sleep so badly, I'm always worried I'll wake you." He replied. "Henri would always be really grumpy if I woke him up."

"You're worried about waking me up?" She asked. "I sleep like the dead!"

"I still worry." He mumbled.

"You never wake me."

"If you say so."

"You don't." She said firmly.

“Alright.”

"Is that the only issue?”

He shrugged as they arrived home. “I guess I’m just conscious about everything.”

"It's okay."

They had a look at houses for rent in the area, but didn't really find anything they were interested in. It wasn't like they were in a rush anyway. Besides, she made sure Fao wasn't worried about her sleep being disrupted, and the weeks continued to pass by. The rotas slowly edged out of sync, and she found herself seeing him less and less at work.


	26. Chapter 26

On yet another day where she was home alone, she headed out to get some groceries - they were running low, and kept putting off going shopping. She might as well get it done, given she had nothing better to do.

She was looking at the mounds of vegetables piled high in trays when she pulled her phone out of her pocket and brought up Fao's details. Hopefully, he'd be on a break. If not, she'd just leave a message. It'd be fine.

He was on a break, sat on the roof with a cigarette in hand. Feeling his phone buzz in his pocket, he pulled it out to see Ely’s name. 

“Hey, Ely. What’s up?”

She hummed idly, reaching out to squeeze a cucumber and check it was firm. "I'm shopping. What veg do we need?”

He hummed. “I’m not sure. What else have you got?”

"Just basic stuff. Some chicken, some diced beef, onions, garlic.”

“Uh, do you wanna get some stir fry veg? Peppers, beansprouts, baby sweetcorn?”

"Will do. Anything else?" She asked. "I don't want to keep you if you're busy.”

“Salad stuff would be good. Like cucumber and salad leaves, I could do with it for work. And I’m not busy, I’m on a smoke break.”

"Oh, alright. I'm just looking at cucumbers. Do you want a big one or a small one?”

“The bigger the better.”

She couldn't help but laugh. "Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. You know what I’m like, eh?”

"Yeah, I do." She replied, picking one and putting it in the trolley. "Anything else you want? Anything in general, biscuits, crisps…."

“Mmm, biscuits. I ended up eating loads last night.”

"Do we even have any left?”

“Only the boring ones.”

"I'll get some more chocolate ones." She decided. "How's work going?”

“Work is work. I’ve not really done much, hence why I’m smoking in the afternoon.”

"So you've had a boring day.”

“Yeah. I’ve just come from a consult in resus but we’ve decided against theatre.”

"Well, at least you're not rushed off of your feet.”

“Yeah, but I’ve always preferred things busy.” He murmured, stretching out with a wince.

"I know you do. I'm only shopping because I'm so bored.”

“Well, it saves me doing it after work.” He replied. “You won’t hear me complaining. Oh, could you grab me some ibuprofen?”

"Will do, we need some anyway.”

“Yeah, I’ve needed a lot of it recently.” He said, pausing to take a drag of his cigarette. “Think it might be the weather.”

"Might be.”

“Some more would be great.”

"I'll get some." She promised.

“Mmm, thank you.”

"Think I might get myself some sweets. I've felt a bit lightheaded today."

He frowned. "Have you been drinking enough?"

She hummed. "Yeah. I've drunk extra to make sure. I'm just feeling a little weird, I think. Might be my period or something."

"Maybe your iron is getting low or something."

"Yeah. If I still feel like shit tomorrow I'll ring the GP, promise.”

“Yeah. Look after yourself.”

She smiled to herself. "Am doing.”

“Treat yourself to whatever you want.”

"You paying?" She asked.

“I’ll transfer you money.”

"It's fine, I have plenty myself." 

“Mmm, but we live together. I should contribute.”

"Fine, fine. I'll show you the receipt later.”

“Mmm, thank you.”

"I'll see you tonight, then." She said softly

“Yeah, I’ll see you tonight. Hopefully I won’t be late.”

"Fingers crossed." She said, and hung up. She grabbed everything that Fao had mentioned, ignoring the weird feeling. A couple of times she forgot what she was doing - entered an aisle and didn't know what she needed, and she stared at the products on the shelves for no reason.

Ely was just getting to the tills when the surrounding sound increased tenfold and nausea nearly knocked her over. It was then that the world went black.

After his cigarette, Fao made himself some tea and then ended up getting paged to A&E. He didn’t really need to be there, but he’d been paged by a registrar who wanted his opinion on a laceration. It was fine, Fao confirmed it didn’t need surgical intervention but told the registrar to consult plastics, and then got distracted. He didn’t have anything to do, so was leaned on the desk talking to one of the nurses about their recent holiday. He remembered the little things, it helped keep him popular with the staff down in A&E which was never a bad thing. 

He heard a commotion behind him as another patient was bought in, and he couldn’t help but listen for the handover. He was naturally curious, and he wanted some proper cases. He couldn’t hear all of it because of where he was stood, but he did catch the patient’s name - Elyana Lozier. His heart sank and he immediately disappeared from where he was stood into the bay, slipping into the throng of people. Most didn’t even notice him there. But it soon became clear there was no A&E consultant about, only a nervous looking registrar and some nurses. 

On the gurney was a pale, exhausted looking Ely, and Fao’s heart broke just a little. She’d wet herself, cut her head but for the moment her seizures had stopped. Pulling on a pair of gloves he helped get her clothes off and get her into a gown. Paramedics had already got IV access, thankfully, and he was just taking a set of obs when she started seizing again. After another dose of diazepam she stopped, thankfully, and it was then that she was sent for a CT scan to try and determine a course for the continuing seizures. An anaesthetist was meeting her enroute to put in place a better, more permanent sedation. Stripping off his gloves and running a hand through his hair, Fao paged neuro and then followed Ely up to the scanner, feeling drained. What the fuck had happened?

After the rest of the day with no more seizures, Ely's sedation was lightened, and somewhere around 9pm that evening she started to come around. It took time, and she felt like a lump of lead. Her throat was rough and her tongue bone dry. With heavy eyes, she turned her head to see Fao at her bedside.

"Wha'...." She trailed off. Why was she in hospital? The last thing she remembered was talking to him on the phone.

Fao had finished his shift early, and had immediately gone home to get Ely some clothes, as well as stuff for himself. He'd settled by her bedside hours ago, in a crumpled t-shirt and sweatpants. His glasses perched on the end of his nose and his hair was around his shoulders as he scrolled idly on his phone, waiting for her to come around. When she stirred he looked up, surprised.

"Hey, sweetie. It's good to see you awake." He murmured, moving forward to take her hand. 

She groaned again. “Why.... here?”

"You had a couple of big seizures."

She frowned, clearly confused. “No. On... on med-med-medicine.”

"Mmm, I know. We're gonna sort it out. Rest now, you must be exhausted."

“You.... you know?” She asked slowly. She hadn’t told him, and her medication was kept out of sight. 

"I know. I read your notes."

“Oh.”

"Get some rest, I'll be around in the morning."

She continued to frown. “I’m meant to... to...” She said, trying to push herself up from the bed. 

"Hey, hey, take it easy." He soothed. "What's up?"

“Meant to buy food,” she said, “where’s- where’s shop? Gotta buy food.” She said, trying to swing her legs out. 

He stood up then, gently but firmly tucking her back into bed. "Stay put, sweetheart. You need to stay in bed."

“No. Need to finish shoppin’.” She insisted. “Can’t jus’ leave trolley. Gotta do it.”

"The shopping is all sorted, I promise. Everything is fine." He told her. "We've gotta take care of you now."

“No, no shoppin’ here. Gotta get cu-cu.... gotta get cumbers.”

He smiled. "Sweetie, look at me? The shopping is fine. It's all sorted, you don't need to worry about it."

“But.... I’m fine. Need to go, to see. Need to see it.”

"You're not fine. You need to stay in bed and get some rest. We're not sure why you had more seizures."

“Seizures?” She asked. “No, I’m on m-meds.”

"Yeah, seizures. You had some earlier and we're not really sure why." He told her, sitting down on her bed. "So we gotta keep you here to make sure you're okay, yeah?"

“But ‘m fine.” She said. “Not poorly.”

"Will you stay the night anyway? Just for me?"

“You gonna go?”

"No, I'm gonna stay too. It'll be like a sleepover."

“Shitty bed.” She grumbled. “The shoppin’?”

"It's all sorted. I sorted it all out, you don't need to worry." He told her, moving to brush some hair from her face.

She made to move again. “Gotta go.”

"No, stay in bed. What do you need? Some water, maybe?"

She shook her head. “No! Gotta go!”

"Hey, it's okay. Can you tell me what you need?" He asked softly, rubbing her thigh. 

She bent over the edge of the bed and was promptly sick on the floor. 

"Oh, honey." He breathed, reaching over her to call a nurse over to them. "Do you think you're gonna be sick again?" He asked her, looking around for a sick bowl.

“I dunno. Head hurts.”

He found a stack of bowls and passed her one. "Here. If you feel sick again you can be sick in here." He murmured.

“Wanna go home. Can we go home?”

"We can go home tomorrow."

“Promise?”

"I can't promise, but fingers crossed." He told her. 

“You bad.” She said. “Bein’ mean to me.”

"I'm not mean. I'm making sure you're okay. We're friends, I've gotta make sure you're alright."

“Stuck me in hospital.”

"I didn't bring you to hospital, I only made sure you were okay when you got here." He told her. A nurse arrived after a few moments and Fao explained that Ely had been sick and was very confused, suspecting a concussion. The nurse said someone would be in shortly to clean things up, and then left again.

“Feel shitty.” She yawned. 

"Mmm, I bet. You wanna sleep some more?"

“Wanna.... home.” She said thickly. 

"I know, I know. Sleep now and we'll get you home as soon as we can."

She sighed. “Okay.”

"And I'll be right here next to you if you need anything." He told her, sitting down in the chair again.

She shook her head, and her voice was heavy as she tried to resist sleep. “Go ‘ome.”

"Nope, I'm staying."

“Go ‘ome.”

"You'd have to pick me up and carry me home yourself to get me to leave. Just go to sleep."

She reached out wordlessly for his hand. If he was going to stay, she at least wanted contact. 

He took it, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand. "Sleep well, Ely." He told her softly. 

She didn’t reply, but let out a soft, slow breath that showed she was asleep.

He smiled, and let her sleep. He held her hand most of the night, as her room was cleaned and observations taken. He slept a little in the hard chair, drifting in and out of sleep most of the night. Come morning he escaped to brush his teeth and wash his face, then settled back down again next to her, watching her sleep.


	27. Chapter 27

She was less confused when she woke up, though still exhausted. It was too much effort to lift her hand to rub her eyes, so she just turned her head to see Fao in the chair. He looked a little like she felt, and she couldn’t remember much of the night before. 

“Fao?”

"Good morning." He replied softly. "How're you feeling?"

“What happened?” She asked, ignoring his question. “I was in Tesco....”

"You had a couple of big seizures - and yes, I know you're on medication. We can't work out why, though we're trying to find out."

“Oh. But no more?”

"Not since yesterday. You barely stopped when you came in."

“No wonder I feel like utter shit.”

"Yeah. Last night you were very confused."

She licked her dry, cracked lips. “Can I have a drink?”

"Yeah, of course." He replied, standing up to pour her a small glass of water. "Drink slowly, yeah?"

“I know.” She replied, taking the cup from him. She didn’t get much further than the cool water touching her lips before her arms jerked and she started to seize again. 

Fao swore, calling for some help. There wasn't much they could do but wait to see how quickly she came out of it, if she did at all. He bent to pick the cup up from the floor, and then just waited, making sure her airway stayed clear. 

It wasn’t a long seizure, thank god, and soon it stopped. Bleary eyed, Ely pushes her head back into the pillows, eyes squeezed shut. 

Fao rubbed her arm. "Hey, it's alright. Take some deep breaths."

“Fuck,” she murmured, her voice slightly slurred, “‘appened again?”

"Yeah, it did. But it's alright, just breathe for a bit."

She sucked in a breath. “Fucking shit.”

"Mmm, I know."

“Should jus’ trying different meds.”

“Yeah, we’re gonna. You’ve got yourself a flashy new consultant now.”

“Lucky me.”

“Mmm, very lucky. We’re gonna take good care of you.”

She sighed heavily. “Water?”

"Yeah, let me get you some more." He murmured, pouring her another cup and sitting down next to her on the bed to help her drink it. 

She carefully sipped some. “Do you have somethin’ else for me to wear?” She asked when she was done. 

"Yeah, I've got some pyjamas for you. Do you want to change?"

Ely nodded. “Yeah. Hate gowns.”

"Mmm, me too." He murmured, getting up to get out her pyjamas. "I got the softest ones I could find."

“That’s nice of you.”

"I try." He murmured. "Bottoms first?"

“Please.” She replied. “Don’t wanna flash my ass to the whole ward.”

He laughed. "Alright then." He said, passing her the bottoms. 

She fumbled to push back the blankets, stretching her legs out towards him. 

"Need a hand?"

“Yeah. Arms are heavy.”

He smiled, and helped her into the bottoms. "There. How do you wanna do the top?"

She shrugged. “Guess you saw it all yesterday.”

"I did, but I want you to be comfortable."

“So just take the gown off and help me.” She said. “They’re only tits.”

He laughed. "If you're happy." He replied lightly, moving to undo her gown and help her into the top. "There. Much better."

“Thank you.”

"You're welcome. How are you feeling now?"

She shrugged again. "Bit better."

He nodded. "Feel like you might have another seizure?"

Ely shook her head. "No."

“Alright. Tired?”

“Yeah."

“Mmm, of course you are.”

She bit her bottom lip. "Do you... Do you know why I have them?”

“Yeah, I read your whole history."

“Oh."

“I had to, I’m sorry.”

Ely shook her head. Of course he'd had to. "There's nothin' to be sorry for.”

“I just guessed there was a reason you’d never told me before.”

"Yeah. And it never really came up.”

“I’m sorry I had to look.”

"Of course you had to look." She replied. "I don't mind.”

“I think they want to run an EEG.” He told her softly, moving to sit beside her on the bed again.

"Of course they do.”

“Not sure when. But they’re gonna try do that soon and then make some changes to your meds.”

She leaned against him. "Good. I've been taking them, so they must have stopped working.”

“I think they’re going to try a higher dose.”

"It was such a pain getting on them in the first place.”

“Yeah, I know.”

She laced their fingers together. "I wanna go home.”

“I know you do, but this needs to be sorted first.”

"I guess you haven't been looking at houses?”

“No, I’ve been worrying about you instead.”

"You don't have to worry about me."

"You came into a&e yesterday and had multiple seizures. I'm gonna worry about you."

"I hope you didn't worry too much." She murmured.

"I'll survive."

"Did you sleep?"

"A little."

She frowned. "You probably need it more than me." She had a vague memory of him being there last night, and waking during her obs being taken to see him curled up in the chair.

“I’m alright. I got enough, I’ve not got work tomorrow.”

"If you say so.”

“I hardly sleep anyway, it’s barely any different.”

"Not the point.”

“I’ll be fine.”

She nudged him. "Go home, get some proper rest.”

“No, I wanna stay with you.”

"I'm in the best hands. Take care of yourself.”

“At least let me stay for today. If you’re in overnight again I’ll go home.”

She sighed - she knew she couldn't argue for him. He was passionate about those he cared about, and he was as stubborn as a mule. She nodded. “Okay."

“I gotta keep you company, eh?”

"I guess you do.”

“Hospitals suck. Besides, I brought a load of stuff in for me too. I’m good for a while."

She looked up at him. "You haven't packed for a week, have you?”

“Just a couple of days.”

"You're insane. You'll stiffen up and won't be able to get out of the chair."

"Oi! I'm walking around, and I'm not even in the chair now. I'm sat here with you."

"This bed is hardly better."

"Oh, it's fine."

She rolled her eyes. "It's shit. It's all lumpy and hard and the blankets are itchy."

"You want me to get you a proper blanket?"

"The nurses will tell you off." She said, shuddering. It wasn't good to get on the nurses' bad side.

"Ah, they love me really." He murmured. "But are you cold?"

"Not really. Just itchy."

"You sure? You can have my hoodie."

She paused, and when she spoke her voice was quiet. "I'd like that."

"Yeah?" He asked her, getting up to pull it off over his head. "There you go."

She pulled it on with a bit of a struggle. "Thank you. They put me under, didn't they?"

"Heavily sedated, yeah."

"No wonder I feel extra shitty. I hate anaesthetic."

"Mmm. I'm not sure what they used. I sort of... gave up yesterday."

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I treated you when you came in and after that I was shattered. Took a break and then took the rest of the shift off. I stopped paying attention after a while."

"At least you looked after yourself. I'm sorry to worry you."

"It's alright. I know you had a lot of diazepam and then before your scan you were sedated further but I've got no idea what with. Haven't checked your notes properly."

"You don't have to. You shouldn't be my consultant."

"I'm not now. You're with Shepherd."

She hummed. "Derek? He's good."

"Yeah. Only the best for you."

"Oh, so he's not the one who just happens to be able to fit me in?"

"I went and found him yesterday myself."

"You didn't have to do that." She murmured.

"I wanted to. We have some of the best neuro guys in the world, why settle for second best? And he owed me a favour, anyway."

"You still didn't have to."

"Well, I did."

She sighed softly, trying to resist her once-more heavy eyes. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Please look after yourself."

"I am doing, I promise."

“Good. Self care is important.”

"So is looking after your best friend."

She smiled at him. “Really?”

"Yeah. You're important."

“I like being your best friend.”

"You've done a lot for me recently. I essentially owe you my life."

“I’m your friend. Best friend, apparently. It’s what friends do.”

"Last time I hit rock bottom... Well, let's not go there. Without you things would have been far worse."

“I’m always here for you. I suppose you’re just returning the favour.” She said. 

"Exactly."

She let her eyes close. Just for a second. “I appreciate it. You’re the best.”

"I try to be."

“You are.”

She had to stay for a second night, after they started her on a new medication. She was seizure free, and got sent home in the morning - or rather, early afternoon by the time all the paperwork had gone through. Fao drove her home, and once there she contacted the DVLA to let them know she'd had some seizures and therefore couldn't drive.


	28. Chapter 28

Just to make sure she was fine, she took some more sick days - the last thing she needed was to end up having a seizure in the middle of surgery. Fao, however, had to work, and so she didn't see him much. She slept a lot later when she had a day off, and she woke long after he'd left for work. Most evenings she saw him, and they'd spend an hour or so on the sofa together before heading to bed. 

Except this evening. He was late home, so she ate on her own at the little table, cleaned up and watched some shitty tv before having a bath and going to bed.

Fao's day felt as if it had been going on forever. He'd been rushed off his feet all day, A&E was full, with more trauma than resus could handle. It was really clear just how much the NHS was struggling. When he wasn't in theatre he was down in resus, lending a hand to try and make things easier. By the time he finished his last surgery, it was almost 11. Shattered, he changed and left, ignoring how much he was aching. His wrist had been doing better recently and he didn't get much pain at all, but today had pushed over his limit and now it ached. Never mind his hip, which seemed to have more bad days than good.  

Tired and hungry, he headed home. Even though he knew he was going back to Ely and not Henri, his heart was pounding and he felt sick. It was so late, he'd promised he'd be home on time to keep her company. Last time he'd been this late Henri had broken his wrist. His hands shook as he fumbled to get the key in the door and he shut it quietly behind him. 

Ely was nowhere to be seen, but he was still worried as he quickly made a sandwich and ate it. No longer starved, he crept into the bedroom, had a shower and then crawled into bed beside her, tense and with his hands still shaking. He stayed as far away from her as the bed allowed, curled up in a ball. 

When the mattress dipped, Ely stirred a little, rolling over to his body heat. She pressed herself against him, and sighed happily. 

He held his breath as she moved closer, body stiff as she pressed herself against him with a sigh. Deep down, he knew she wouldn't hurt him, but he couldn't help but worry that she might. Either that, or there'd be wandering hands. Henry always liked to have him after he'd been back late - prove who was in control.  

He was awake for hours, listening to Ely's soft, rhythmic breathing next to him. He wanted to sleep, but the adrenaline made it so hard. Eventually it wore off and his eyes grew heavy.  

_Henri was angry. Fao could tell from the way he swore as he tidied the kitchen, the way he slammed doors shut and banged pots around. Sat on the sofa typing up some research, Fao couldn't help but worry what would happen next, if it had been something he'd done. It was late evening now, Fao knew it wouldn't be long until he had company._

_He appeared in the doorway and smirked. "Bedroom, now. I deserve attention."_

_Fao looked down, and opened his mouth to deny Henri, but he didn't get that far. There was a strong hand on his shoulder and he was dragged to his feet, his laptop falling to the floor with a clatter. He was dragged upstairs and into the bedroom, and shoved down on the bed. Henri pulled off his trousers and boxers, slapping him hard. Fao cried out but got no sympathy, and he could hear the jangle of Henri's belt._

_There was the cold, wet feeling he knew all too well as Henri spread his cheeks apart, and then pushed into him. His cries were unheard by the other man, taking what he needed for pleasure and nothing else._  

He woke up crying, clutching the bedsheets. He could still feel it so clearly, the pain. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think. It was as though he was still there, being forced down and fucked against his will. 

She'd woken just before he did - he'd been twitching in his sleep, crying out, begging for something to stop. As he clutched the bedsheets, she twisted to turn on one of the lamps. 

"Fao?" She asked softly. "Are you okay?"

And now he'd woken her up. The light was bright and he whimpered. "'m sorry. 'm so sorry." He gasped, trying to curl up smaller, hide under the duvet.  

"Why are you sorry?" She asked gently. 

"W-woke you. Didn't mean to." 

"I know you didn't. It's okay."

"'m sorry." He got out again, shaking all over. He was virtually trembling. 

"Is it okay if I put my hand on your shoulder?" She asked. She didn't want to push him.

"A-are you upset?"

"Not at all. I just want to help you.”

He whimpered. “‘m sorry.”

"It's okay." She soothed. "Do you want a hug?”

“I… I don’t know. I’m sorry.” He got out, looking up at her from under the covers.

"That's okay. Do you want to talk?”

“I had a nightmare.” He whimpered. “Sorry I woke you.” He said, voice a little raspy.

"It's okay. Shall I get you a drink?”

He made a small noise, and buried deeper under the duvet again. “You can sleep again.”

"Are you sure? I only want to help.”

“‘m fine.” He got out, though he was still breathing heavily and his hands were shaking.

He wasn't, she knew that. So she slipped out of bed to fetch him a glass of water, and when she came back she left it on the bedside table. "I don't want to push," she said softly, "but if you want to tell me about your nightmare, or why you're scared, you can.”

“It…It was about Henri.”

"Because you were late home?”

He nodded slowly. “I guess.”

"I don't mind if you're late home, you were doing your job.”

He nodded. “Henri…. He hated it.”

"I know he did. But as long as you come home, I don't care."

"S-said I was a c-cheating cunt."

"Well, we both knew he was stupid."

"I've never cheated. Ever." His voice wavered. 

"I know you never did."

He moved a little closer to her, uncurling. "'m sorry."

"I don't know what you're apologising for, but I accept it.”

“For everythin’. Should I go sleep on the couch?” He asked, not quite looking at her.

"No. You don't have to go anywhere."

“I can go…"

"You can stay, Fao." She soothed.

“It…it felt so real.” He mumbled. It still _hurt_ , he was sure he could still feel everything.

"Do you want me to go?”

He shook his head. “Please don’t.”

"Okay then."

"It jus'...."

"You can say it." She encouraged.

"Felt like real. Felt like I was back."

"Oh, sweetie." She murmured. "You weren't, I promise."

He nodded. "I know, but...."

"Is there anything I can do to help?”

He shrugged. “Dunno.”

"Why don't we settle down?" She asked.

“Y-yeah, okay.”

She laid back down, pulling the duvet up over them.

He moved closer to her, sighing softly. “Thank you.”

"It's okay." She told him. "You just let me know if you need anything, yeah?”

He nodded. “Yeah.” He knew he wasn’t going to sleep, not when he could still feel Henri’s hands on him, the vice-like grip on his shoulder and his waist.

"Or we could go for a walk?”

“I wanna stay.”

"Alright then." She said. "Do you want to cuddle now?”

He shook his head. “‘m…. ‘m okay.”

"Alright."


	29. Chapter 29

He seemed better in the morning, more like himself, and they spent a lazy day around the house, though ventured out when the grey skies cleared for a walk in the common. Work got easier, though Ely had to pay attention to how she felt and take herself off to an on-call room if she suspected a seizure was coming. She hadn't found the right medication yet, and that meant sitting on the hard little bed and hoping a seizure didn't come. Sometimes the feeling passed, and sometimes it didn't. Once, there was a particularly close call when she paged a colleague to come take her place and he took his time, meaning she barely made it somewhere safe before the seizure hit.

It was utterly shit, but at least she had Fao to make her feel better. Besides, more than once she found him in bed with a heat pack on his bad hip, and she returned the favour of looking after him. Even if he told her it was nothing, that sometimes the cold weather just played havoc with the joint.

Christmas came, and they exchanged a couple of gifts in bed that morning. She'd gotten him a lovely new watch, dark leather with a beautiful face, and a matching leather wallet. He presented her with an envelope, which she opened to find a letter from a charity called Support Dogs, informing her she was on the waiting list for a seizure alert dog. Needless to say she cried and embraced him, completely overwhelmed.

They had a Christmas dinner at her mother's, a quiet affair with old films and silly paper crowns and too much wine, and waited until Boxing Day afternoon to drive back home. They saw their friends in the week between Christmas and New Year, the time passing by in a flash. New Year consisted of a few hours in the pub with their friends, stumbling home trying to hold each other up, and New Year's Day was spent wrapped in bed, nursing hangovers and headaches, lining their stomachs with toast.

She was back at work before him, just days after the festivities, though it was good to be busy, and apparently people were still doing stupid things in the name of holiday spirit. She felt good that day, confident in her abilities. She hadn't had a seizure since before Christmas, and though it wasn't long, it was enough for hope. Maybe this medication would work.

She finished a trauma surgery from the morning rush hour around eleven, and headed to the break room to get herself a cup of tea and have a bite to eat. When Ely entered, however, it was to see Henri with a gaggle of nurses who obviously thought he was the best thing to grace the earth since Jesus himself, talking about his new car. She assumed he'd bought it himself, an arrogant present.

Henri hadn’t missed Ely coming in, and shooed the nurses away from him to lean on the counter next to her. 

“How’s my cheating whore of an ex-boyfriend doing?”

She rolled her eyes, stirring the milk into her tea. She didn't answer until she'd thrown the teabag and rinsed the spoon.

"Why do you want to know?" She replied icily.

"Well, I care about him. I'm just wondering how he's doing. Are you two fucking?"

She held her mug in both of her hands. "Like hell do you care about him - you only care that you can control him."

He scoffed. "But are you fucking?"

"If you really must know - no." She replied. "But why would it matter if we were? It'd be none of your business."

"Well, I don't think he's moved on. Have you seen what he got me? He'll come crawling back, I just know it."

She scoffed. "I doubt he's gotten you anything."

"Really? My new car says otherwise."

"Your new car?" She repeated, pretending not to have heard him earlier.

“Yes, my new car. He ordered it for me back in October. It finally arrived.”

Ely frowned. Fao hadn't told her anything about buying his ex a car. "Well, that must be wonderful for you. You know what they say about people who have the newest sports car," she said, and flashed him a toothy grin, "tiny cock.”

“Watch your mouth, you whore.” Henri growled, stepping closer to her.

She laughed. "Why, what are you going to do? There's too many people here.”

“But you know what I can do.”

"You don't scare me.”

“You’ll see, he’ll come back to me. It’s only a matter of time.”

She sipped her tea, debating 'accidentally' pouring it on him. "He won't."

He made a noise in the back of his throat. "You don't know that. He's mine."

“You don’t own people, Henri. Fao will never come back to you.” She said, her voice hard. 

"He's come back to me before. This car just proves he'll do it again."

“He won’t. He’s seen sense.”

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. I'll see him next time he's at work. He needs thanking for the gift."

“You won’t go near him.” She said, and stalked away to the sofa. He wasn’t worth the time. He didn’t bother her again, and she didn’t see him again that day. She got away on time, and was home by half past seven. Once she’d changed and they’d eaten, she sat with Fao on the sofa, his hand messing with her hair. 

“Fao, can I ask you something that might be difficult for you?”

He frowned. "What is it?"

“I don’t want to upset you, but....” she paused. “I think you should know that Henri was bragging today, and he tried to tell me you’d go running back to him. I just want you to be prepared.”

He sighed. "He's an idiot. What was he bragging about?"

“A new car. He said it’s from you?”

"Oh."

She looked up at him. “Is that... is that right?”

"Uh, yeah." He said quietly.

“That’s okay. Just don’t let him tempt you back, yeah?” She said. 

"I won't. The car was.... A way of sating him. Of promising him it was just a break up. And it's the car he's always wanted. I know I shouldn't have done it."

She shrugged. “You did it with the best intentions.”

"Yeah, I guess."

“You did. And if he comes near you I’ll kick him in his tiny cock, eh?”

He was quiet for a moment. "Huh, yeah."

“Have I upset you?”

"Uh, I just don't really want to think about his cock."

She hummed. “Okay. We can talk about other people’s cocks?”

"Who's cock are we talking about?"

“I don’t know.” She said. “Best you’ve ever had?”

"Cock or sex?"

“Let’s go for sex.”

"Hmmm, Alex was pretty good if I'm honest."

She couldn’t help but laugh. “I was gonna say Alex!”

"She knows what she's doing. And I was with her so long it was... I dunno, it was perfect."

“She knew all the right buttons.” Ely agreed. “God, I haven’t gotten laid in so long.”

He wrinkled his nose. "God, don't."

“What? I haven’t!”

He rolled his eyes. "Go find someone to fuck, then."

“But I’m tired and it’s late.” She whined. 

"Use tinder. You'd get sex in five minutes without even trying."

She shrugged. “Probably.”

"Definitely."

"Not now, though, Mr Fountain of Wisdom."

"No, because we're sharing a bed and I'd rather not be that close to you getting your brains fucked out."

She laughed. "I wouldn't bring anyone back here. Like I could kick you out of bed for the sake of a shag."

"Good, you better not."

"If anything, I'll wait until you're at work and change the sheets after."

"Oh, gross."

"What?" She asked. "They'll be clean then!"

"It's still gross."

“No it’s not.”

“What if there’s a gross wet patch on the duvet or the mattress?”

“There won’t be!”

“I don’t wanna sleep on your gross wet patch.”

“You won’t have to, because there won’t be one.” She pointed out. 

“There might be.”

“There won’t.”

“You can’t make promises. What about the other person?”

She shrugged. “I’ll put waterproof sheets on the bed.”

He laughed. "Alright then."

“If I even do anything. Work is exhausting.”

"Yeah, I feel you. I'm always fucking knackered."

She hummed. “Don’t know how Alex had the energy to go to the gym. Has she shagged Chris yet?”

"Not to my knowledge. I've not been to the gym in ages either."

“I know you haven’t. Maybe we should go together.”

“Yeah, probably a good idea.”

She smiled at him. “You can show me how to do stuff. Alex just used to laugh at me.”

“Well, what do you wanna do?”

“Not a clue.”

“Cardio isn’t a bad place to start.”

“Then we’ll start with that,” she said, “at the weekend?”

“Yeah. I can’t promise to be that good, though.”

“You’ll be better than me.”

“Mmm, but my running isn’t good.”

“There’s gotta be other stuff. You could coach me.”

He laughed. “I suppose I could.”

“God knows I need it.”

"I do too. I've put on some weight."

She poked his belly. “Nothing wrong with that.”

"Ugh, don't. I hate it."

"Well, I like it. You don't have to look like a Greek God, you know."

"I know, but... I like being fit."

"Then we'll get fit together."

"I'll try." He murmured. "We eat fairly decently."

"We don't eat too much shit." She agreed.

"Yeah, we're good."

"Well behaved."

"Very."

She stretched. "Don't want to think about exercise though, I'm tired."

"Mmm, me too."

"Bed?"

"Bed sounds good."

She peeled herself away from him. "Need a hand?"

He shook his head. "Nah, I'm good." He told her, getting up with a groan. 

“Stiffened up?”

"Fucking aching." He muttered. 

“I can get you a heat pack?”

"Nah, I'll be alright."

“Alright.” She said, and lead the way back to the bedroom, where she stole one of his old shirts and changed with her back to him. 

They'd both grown so used to each other that getting changed wasn't a bother anymore. Once he was in his pyjamas he slipped into the bathroom where he quickly downed some painkillers and did his teeth before he came back to bed, slipping under the duvet.

She cuddled up to his side, enjoying the warmth. “You know, you’re cute when you’re in bed.”

He laughed. "What does that even mean?"

“That you’re cute, obviously.”

"I know I'm cute. What is it about me being in bed specifically that makes me cute?"

She shrugged. “I don’t know. You just are.”

"That's a rubbish answer."

“No it’s not!”

"It is!"

She poked his belly again. “It’s not.”

"Oi!" He exclaimed, slapping her hand away playfully. 

She laughed. “What? Afraid I might tickle you?” She asked, skimming her fingers lightly up his sides. 

"No, because I'll kick you if you do."

“You wouldn’t!”

"I would."

“No, you’d sit on me and tickle me back.”

“Oh, now you’ve given me an idea.”

She pretended to look scared. “I’m doomed.”

“Yeah, you are. Because I’m a lot heavier than you, there’ll be no escape.”

“So you’ll squish me flat?”

"Pretty much."

“You’re mean.” She whined. 

"Says you."

“You just said you’d squish me like a pancake!”

"And? You're gonna tickle me."

“I won’t now!”

"Good."

She poked his belly again. “Don’t wanna be a pancake.”

"Leave my belly alone!"

“Make me!”

He moved to lay on top of her, effectively squashing her. "There."

She tried to push him off. "Get off!"

"No! You're bullying me so I'll squash you."

Dramatically, she sucked in a breath as though she couldn't breathe. "Please!"

"You're fine."

"I can't breathe!"

"You can, because you're talking."

She frowned at him. "Well, I'll shut up."

"I can feel you breathing."

She pressed her lips together, holding her breath and looking up at him.

"Stop it!"

Ely raised an eyebrow, resisting the urge to breathe and to speak. This would work, she was sure of it.

"Oh my god, breathe."

She drew in a deep breath. "Get off of me, then?"

"Only if you stop poking me in the stomach."

"Promise."

He huffed and got off of her, but was still close to her. "You better not."

She settled back next to him. "I won't, if you don't want me to."

"I need to work on it."

She frowned. "I don't think you do. You don't have to have washboard abs."

"I suppose. But I should still work on it."

"If you want to."

She fell asleep not long after, pressed up to his side, comfortably warm. There were always moments when she was unsure if Henri still had a hold over her friend, and part of her thought he would always have a hold. Over time, it would grow smaller and smaller, but it would still be there.


	30. Chapter 30

shifts she'd offer to cover for a colleague. To be honest, she was already regretting it after one day, and she had another five to go. The second day was the same as always, and by the third she was starting to tire. Normally, she'd be looking forwards to just one more shift and then she could lay in bed for an entire morning, but she was facing the realisation that she was only halfway through. With heavy feet, she got out of her taxi and headed to the front door, unlocking it. At least she was home on time.

When she opened the door, she was greeted by Arrow rushing to her, nose pressed firm to her legs as he sniffed her. She liked to think he was checking she was alright. Over his puffing breath and the sound of his claws on the laminate, she could hear the telltale melody of a piano, and the low tones of Fao's voice.

Fao had made it one day at work before he ended up at home again, feeling miserable. But the dog had kept him company. He’d made food, though it was still cooking in the oven, and settled down with a glass of wine. The piano he’d bought was still untouched, and on a whim he’d taken his place in front of it. He’d started with scales and the like, but his hands moved on their own and he found himself playing and singing, lost in the moment. He didn’t even hear Ely come in.

She found him in the living room, his back to her as he played. The room was dimly lit, the lamps throwing a golden light. She could see his wine on the top of the piano, and if she was honest, his voice gave her goosebumps. Smiling softly, she leaned against the doorframe, unwilling to interrupt.

He trailed off towards the end, suddenly aware of Ely’s eyes on him. He twisted around, smiling at her. 

“Oh, hi.”

She smiled back at him. "That was beautiful. I'm sorry for disturbing you.”

“It’s okay. I didn’t hear you come in.”

"You can continue, if you like," she invited, "I'm gonna go shower.”

“Okay. Food’s in the oven, it’ll be done soon.”

"I'll be quick, then." She said, and hung about for a moment before she turned and headed upstairs, telling her dog quietly to stay downstairs. He had a habit of trying to open the bathroom door when she went in.

Fao carried on playing, though his singing was quieter than before. After a while, he stopped and headed to the kitchen to sort out their food. Arrow followed him, looking for his own dinner. He laughed and fed the dog, waiting for Ely.

Ely came back down in cosy pyjamas and slippers, her hair loose around her shoulders. 

“You could be a musician.” She commented as she poured herself a glass of wine. 

"Oh, nonsense. It's just a bit of fun."

“I’m serious!”

"I'd make fuck all money, and be stressed out of my mind no doubt. I'll stick with the day job."

She raised her glass to her lips. “It was lovely, I’m not musical at all. What were you singing?”

"Sinatra."

“I don’t know much Sinatra.”

He smiled. "I've always enjoyed it."

“Sounds like you have the voice for it to me.”

"I'm not bad."

“You’re amazing.” She praised. 

"Oh, shush. I've not sung properly in years, and I fuck my voice up when I smoke."

She shrugged, stepping closer to him. “You’re still really good.”

He glanced down. "I'm not. It was just a bit of something to do to keep my brain busy. I'm fed up and exhausted.”

Ely wrapped her arms around him. “You are. Believe in yourself.”

He relaxed against her, pressing his face into her shoulder. "'m just drained right now."

"I know. D'you want me to run you a bath?"

"I'll just fall asleep in it. Food?"

She nodded. "I'm famished. You go sit down, I'll sort it."

"I really don't mind, it'll take two seconds to serve." He replied. He'd made a lasagna, enough to freeze for later. 

"Only if you're sure. I want you to take care of yourself."

"It's fine. Literally two seconds. How hungry are you?" He asked, moving to get it out of the oven and set it down on the side, then grab the plates. 

She shrugged. "Just give me the normal amount, I'll come get some more if I'm still hungry.”

He hummed and served it up, handing her her plate. “Sorry, I wanted to do garlic bread but we didn’t have any bread and I didn’t want to drive.”

"It's okay. This is plenty.”

“Okay, if you’re sure.”

She leaned up to kiss his cheek. "I am. Thank you, it smells amazing." She told him, and collected her wine as she headed to the table. "Honestly, I love your cooking. How did I ever survive without you?"

"God knows. You're lucky I can cook else I reckon you'd be dead without Alex."

"Definitely. Those three weeks living on my own...." She trailed off, but offered him a playful smile. "I lived off of ready meals, if I'm honest."

He rolled his eyes. "Of course you did."

"I can't cook at the best of times, never mind when I get home from work. I'd chop my fingers off trying to prepare chicken or something."

"You did alright that time we cooked over facetime."

"Yeah, that one time." She replied. "Maybe you could teach me properly, one day neither of us are working."

"That would be fun."

"Then maybe I'll survive by myself in the future."

"When I eventually leave you."

She hummed. "Eventually, when you're ready. If anything, I'll be the one moving out, this is your house.”

“We’ll see. Maybe you’ll start your family here and I’ll just be lurking around.”

“What, move a partner in here and have you falling out with me because I’m getting fucked every night?” She joked. “No way.”

"I was only grumpy because of my pain. I'm sorry."

“I know, Fao. But the house is in your name.” She said. “And it’ll be ages before I’m thinking of starting a family.”

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

She made a noise of agreement around the food in her mouth. Once she’d swallowed, she spoke again. “We will. I’d have to be in something pretty serious though. Alex knew all about my endo.”

He frowned. "Your endo?"

“Yeah. Why do you think I’ve booked time off every few months?” She asked. “My periods are shit and I’ve had a couple of surgeries since I’ve known you.”

"Oh." He said quietly. "I had no idea. Henri told me your last surgery was for suspected appendicitis."

She pulled a face. “Really? I suppose it fits...”

"I don't know why he'd lie, but whatever. How are you at the moment?"

“I’m doing alright. I’ll admit Alex was a little smothering sometimes.”

"I'll try not to be. Are you on hormones and stuff?"

Ely nodded. “Yeah. But I don’t mind being taken care of, either, as long as you don’t mind clingy.”

He smiled. "Clingy is alright. I'm sorry for prying, I'm sure you don't want to tell me your medical history."

She reached across the table for his hand. “I really don’t mind. I thought you knew.”

"I had no idea. I'm sorry."

“You don’t have to be. I assumed Alex had mentioned it at some point.”

"I didn't really speak much to Alex when I was with Henri."

She shrugged. “That’s over with now. I’ll let you know if I’m struggling, promise.”

"That means a lot. I wanna be able to help you when I can."

“I know you do. I trust you.”

"Well, you know where my bed is if you feel like crap and need a hug."

She smiled. “I do.”

After another day of feeling sorry for himself, Fao decided to force himself to go into work. Maybe keeping his brain busy would help his pain. He hoped it would, because nothing else had and he'd been unable to get anything stronger from his GP. He woke that morning nauseous and tired, so skipped breakfast in favour of a coffee. Maybe he'd get something later if he felt any better. He drove him and Ely to work that morning, and once they were changed they parted ways, each going where they were needed.


	31. Chapter 31

As per usual, it wasn't long until they ended up together. It was a stabbing case with severe bowel involvement. There were countless lacerations, and it really wasn't helping Fao's nausea. Halfway through and he was definitely feeling woozy, his hip so painful he didn't dare move on it for fear of making it worse. Normally, he'd shift his weight and move a little all the time to keep the blood moving, else his legs would go dead. But today he'd barely moved at all. 

Bowel surgeries were the worst. Every time she was involved in one, Ely was glad that she wasn’t a surgeon. The smell was horrendous, and everyone looked a little pale. But it was Fao who drew her gaze. He looked green, even under the theatre lights. 

“Dr Blackwood,” she asked, “are you okay?”

He cleared his throat. "I'm fine." He replied. "Just concentrating. This is hard work."

She hummed. “Alright.”

"How are things at your end?" He asked after a few minutes silence. 

“Patient is stable.”

He hummed, trying to ignore how hot he was. It was normally cold in theatre - for infection control - but he was overheating. He tried to breathe, and as he took an instrument from Clare his hand trembled. She shot him a look but he ignored her. He just needed another break and some coffee. Maybe some more painkillers. But as he continued he had to pause, the room spinning, and he shut his eyes until it stopped. Then, he carried on the best he could. His wrist was giving him trouble too, because he was tired. 

Ely continued to frown. “Dr Blackwood, you should step back. Can someone page an on-call trauma surgeon, please?”

"I'm fine." He snapped. 

She raised her eyebrows at him. He wasn’t, and they both knew it. 

"I'm a little tired, is all, and my stupid wrist isn't co-operating. Nothing more than that."

She couldn't say anything else in front of everyone, not while he was so grumpy. She just hoped that nothing bad would happen - she was worried about him. Even so, she could see Alice besides her (she was a senior registrar, who sat with Ely in most of her surgeries in case of a seizure) fiddling with her pager.

A little longer, and he was still far too hot. He was sure he was sweating, and the room felt smaller than ever. He stopped his suturing and watched Chris do some, evaluating his technique. But the surgical field became harder to focus on, and when he looked up the room span again. Feeling horrendously sick, Fao decided he needed some fresh air. He took a step back from the field and was about to explain where he was going when everything went black.

"Fuck!" Ely exclaimed, watching as Fao seemed to fall in slow motion. She didn't even glance at Alice - she knew that she would take over for her. And she didn't feel a single lick of satisfaction that Fao wasn't okay. All she felt was worry as she rushed around the throng of people and knelt besides her roommate. 

Carefully, she put him in the recovery position, and pushed his hair from his face. She could hear the chatter, and she looked up.

"Stop it with the gossip, right now!" She snapped. "Can someone repeat a page for an on-call surgeon, and Dr Knight, please continue to the best of your ability."

The chatter died almost immediately, and Chris spoke up to tell Ely he was already continuing the best he could. 

"Good." She said. "I'm sure it won't be long."

It wasn't. The surgeon came quite quickly, took one look at the slight chaos occurring, and set to work with Chris to continue treating the patient. With everything back in control for the patient, one of the circulating nurses appeared at Ely's side. 

"Someone's gone to get a trolley." They murmured. "Then I'll give you a hand to get him out of here."

"Thank you. I want him seen to straight away, if possible.”

It was Chris who spoke again. “This isn’t the first time he’s fainted. It’s normally a blood pressure issue, I think. Get some fluids in him when you can."

Ely frowned. "He's fainted at work before?”

“Yeah, but it was a while ago."

“I’m sure they’ll take care of him.”

“He’ll be fine.” He replied, voice distracted. 

Another nurse arrived with a trolley and helped Ely move Fao onto it and get him out of theatre. When he was out, they got his gown and everything off, to give him some cool air. They elevated his feet and started him on fluids, and then waited for him to come round.

Ely, being the consultant anaesthetist, had to go back to the surgery. Their new surgeon was doing a remarkable job, and a lot of the fiddly work had already been done. She managed to get away just over an hour later, and collected a cup of tea before hurrying to find Fao. He’d have felt awful, coming around in a bay on his own. 

He did feel awful. He’d come round not long after they’d gotten him settled, with a pounding headache and overwhelming nausea. He was so angry with himself that he’d obviously fainted, and in theatre of all places. The rumour mill would be as vicious as ever, and he knew it’d get back to Henri. He just hoped he was out of his life for good. He didn’t have the energy to face up to him right now. He was still in a lot of pain, but he’d not seen any staff yet, completely on his own. Maybe someone would help him soon.

She found him quickly, and took his hand as she reached him. “How are you?”

He shrugged. “Pretty shit. Did things go okay in theatre?”

“Yeah, they did. Chris was good.”

He sighed. “Good.”

“Have you seen anyone yet?”

“No.”

She sighed now. "I'm sure it won't be long."

"Maybe." He murmured. "Still feel like shit."

"I know. They given you fluids?"

"Mmmhmmm." He murmured, showing her the cannula in his other hand. 

"Good. I could have done a better job of it, though.”

“Can’t comment.” He mumbled. “Was still out cold."

She rubbed his arm. "Hopefully you can go home tonight. Chris said something about your blood pressure?”

He shrugged. “Dunno. Jus’ feel shitty.”

"I know. Don't know how we'll get home tonight.”

“‘m fine. I can drive.”

She shook her head. "No. We'll get a taxi.”

“Mmm, I’ll be fine by the evenin’. You can go work, it’s ‘kay.”

Her eyes were soft. "I'm taking a break. Don't want you being too lonely.”

“‘m fine. Jus’ embarrassed.”

"I can stay with you for now."

"'kay."

She took his hand again, rubbing her thumb over the back. "I've got some spare time."

"Everyone's gonna be talking 'bout me."

"They won't, I bit their heads off."

He closed his eyes. "Even worse. They think we're together." He said quietly. "God, do you think I can have some pain meds?"

She ignored the comment about them being together. That hardly mattered, and it wasn't true, anyway. They were just good friends, close friends. What really mattered was his pain.

"Where does it hurt?"

"My hip, mostly. But I've got a headache."

She hummed. "Dizzy? Nauseous?”

“Mmmhmm.”

"You've probably got concussion.”

“Did I hit my head?”

She nodded. "Yeah. Went down like a sack of potatoes.”

He sighed. “I took somethin’ before theatre. Am I allowed somethin’ else?”

"Do you remember what you took?”

“Co-codamol. In my locker.”

She nodded again. "Okay. I'll find something you can have.”

“I dunno how much.” He said quietly, not looking at her.

She hummed. "That's okay.”

“Maybe a little too much.”

"Okay. I'll be right back, okay? I just need to find one of the nurses.”

He nodded slowly. “‘kay.”

"Let's hope none of them are moody, eh?”

“Ugh, don’t.”

She patted his shoulder. "Don't go missing me too much.”

He swallowed thickly and nodded. 

"Won't be long." She promised, moving from his bedside and hurrying off. There were plenty of nurses about at the desk, and she smiled to them and asked one of them to get some indomethacin for Fao. The nurse - Ely didn't know her name, she might have been new, or an agency nurse - said it wouldn't be long and Ely wandered back to Fao's bay.

"They're bringing it." She told him gently.

He groaned. “Feel sick.”

"Do you want me to sort an antiemetic?”

“‘m fine.”

"Okay then.”

He was quiet, after that, closing his eyes and ignoring how nauseous he was.

She leaned over, rubbing his arm again. "Hey, it's okay. You're gonna be fine.”

He sighed, swallowing again. His teeth worried his lip and he tried to breathe through the nausea, but he was getting worse.

"You are. Do you think you've caught a bug?”

Now he shook his head, ignoring how dizzy he was. “Pain.”

"Okay. Take some deep breaths for me.”

He did, but shook his head after a moment. He sat up, going very pale, and went to speak before he vomited, groaning.

Ely didn't have time to move away. In a moment, she was covered what he'd brought up. It was warm, and she had to fight not to react - she didn't want to upset him. He'd be upset enough as it was. Even if it clung to her, and she wasn't sure if some had gotten under her scrubs. 

"Oh, Fao.”

“Fuck. ‘m so sorry.” He whined, wiping his mouth. “I didn’t mean to, I was gonna try an’ say somethin’.”

"It's okay, don't you worry. I'm gonna go get changed.”

He whimpered. “So sorry.”

"You don't have to be, you didn't mean to.”

He looked down at his lap. “Sorry.”

She rubbed his shoulder sympathetically. "I'll be right back.”

He nodded slowly, not looking up at her.

Ely paused for a moment, and then turned away. She had a quick wash in the staff shower, to ensure that she was clean, and got dressed in new scrubs. Thank god she kept a spare pair of underwear in her locker. She'd learnt years ago that plenty of patients in her line of work were sick over her, and it was better to be prepared. When she returned, she was tying her hair back into a bun.

"Still not seen anyone?" She asked.

He shook his head. “Not yet.”

"Okay. Had your painkillers?”

“Yeah. Couple minutes ago.”

She smiled, sitting down. "And the nausea?”

“A bit better now.” He replied. “It’s jus’ the pain, ‘m fine.”

"Alright. I can stay with you for a little bit longer before I have to head off.”

“You don’t have to stay.”

She smiled softly at him. "But what if I want to?"

"Guess I can't stop you."

"Beats sitting on my own in the break room."

He hummed. "I guess. I'm really sorry about before."

"Don't worry about it." She replied.

"It's so gross."

"I'm used to it, unfortunately." She said. "Part of the job."

"But 'm not the job."

"No, but it means it doesn't bother me.”

He made a soft noise, and talked quietly until Ely had to leave. By then he was actually seen by someone, who said it was likely a combination of his blood pressure, his pain and the fact he’d not eaten. He was sent home with some stronger pain meds and a promise to see his GP to sort out his blood pressure. He called a taxi, not allowed to drive, and texted Ely to tell her he’d pay for her taxi at the end of the day. Then, he crawled into bed and fell asleep, exhausted and embarrassed.


	32. Chapter 32

After another day in bed he was feeling better, with some painkillers that were making a little bit more of a difference. He seemed to be stuck in a rut, with a few good days followed by a few bad days. His pain was constant now, just better or worse on certain days. He tried to avoid telling Ely, because she’d only worry, but she did find out on his bad days, most of the time. He was rubbish at hiding stuff from her. 

But work was work and it kept him busy. He enjoyed it, and it was better than being sat in bed all day. There was no more fainting in theatre or anything stupid, and he just ignored the rumours. A few weeks later he was feeling a little better, though still struggling, and the bruise on his hip was all sorts of weird colours. It was easy to ignore, though, so he did. It was late into his shift, and Fao got a page about one of his earlier patients who was having some worrying complications. There were concerns they’d need to go back into theatre. So of course he rushed there, running down the corridor. But one bad step and his leg buckled under him, and the pain got so, so much worse. 

He hit the ground hard, twisting his bad wrist, but that wasn’t what he was worried about. He didn’t think his hip pain could get much worse, but here he was. He couldn’t get up, though was helped up by a colleague in the corridor. He asked them to page someone for his patient, and then got himself to A&E with a pair of borrowed crutches and some determination. He was embarrassed to be there, but this wasn’t going away any time soon. He was sure something had gone. 

He’d taken some painkillers recently, so they got him settled into a bay somewhere relatively quiet, and told him they’d get some x-rays taken as soon as they could. He knew he needed to text Ely, and Ollie too, and he used his phone to distract him from the pain, which was getting worse and worse. He didn’t want them to worry, just wanted to tell them where he was in case they needed him.

It wasn’t Ely, or even Ollie or Alex that appeared at his bedside first. Henri had overheard the hushed conversation between a pair of nurses and a nervous looking registrar. He’d caught their words, heard his former partner’s name, and a smile had twisted his lips. He was still furious that Fao had left him all those months ago, and he would have him back under his boot, right where he belonged. 

With a confidence only he could carry, the plastic surgeon located the right bay and headed over. 

“Hello, pumpkin.” He crooned. “You’ve got yourself into a spot of bother, haven’t you?”

He looked down. “Henri. What do you want?”

“I heard you’ve hurt yourself, and I’ve come to support you like I always did.” He replied smoothly, taking Fao’s hand in his own. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“Please, I’m not in the mood for this.” He snapped. “I’m not interested in what you have to say."

“I’ve changed, sweetheart. I’m sorry for hurting you, I just want you back.”

“No. Go away.”

“I love you, Fao. Let me be here for you. Let me help you.”

“I don’t love you, Henri. Leave me alone.”

Henri looked sincere. “If that’s what you want, pumpkin. You know where I am. You call, no matter day or night, and I’ll be here for you. I’ll support you.”

“I don’t want you. Take your car and fuck off. I’ve got enough scars from you.”

Henri sighed. Fao would come around in the end, he always did. Without a word, he left. 

Fao sighed, slumping against his bed. Henri was exactly what he didn't need right now. He needed some pain meds and a nap, frankly.

As it turned out, Ely and Ollie were in a surgery together. Alex was on a day off, working hard at the gym, and so no one came straight away. Of course, Ollie’s text was read aloud to him while they were in theatre and Ollie soon finished up, closing the wound and letting the scrub nurse dress the wound. As such, he was the first time find his friend in the bay, having left Ely with their patient. Nonetheless, it was a good hour, maybe an hour and a half after they’d received the text that he showed up. 

“Fao, mate, you okay?”

The wait had been long, but Fao had had some form of pain relief (it wasn't perfect) and had tried to sleep now Henri was gone. He couldn't really settle, worried his ex would come back any minute, angrier than ever. He knew his friends would be busy, and didn't expect them to appear for a while. He was waiting for x-ray results, things wouldn't happen any time fast anyway. Eventually, Ollie appeared, and Fao managed a weak smile. 

"I'll admit I've been better." He said softly. 

“I’m sure you have. But holding up, yeah?”

"Yeah, not so bad. Pain meds are sort of working. You just out of theatre?"

He nodded. “Yeah. Ely’s on her way, she’s just checking that the patient comes around okay.”

"Of course." He murmured. "Do you, uh, wanna sit? Or are you gonna rush off again?"

“I can stay for a bit. Your text said something about your hip?”

"I'm sure it's nothing, you know what it's been like recently. Waiting on x-rays then I'll head home."

Ollie didn’t agree, but he didn’t say anything. “You should get a taxi home. Or I’ll take you both.”

"We'll sort something out."

“Good. You know I don’t mind driving you about.”

"Yeah. You're too good to me."

“Only what you deserve, mate.” Was the reply, just as Ely appeared. She looked worried, almost besides herself, and she took the chair Ollie had left. 

“God, Fao, I swear that text gave me a heart attack. Are you alright? Have you had pain meds?”

He rolled his eyes. "I sent it so you wouldn't worry. I'm fine, I've had some meds. Just waiting on an x-ray and I'll head home, maybe see the GP again for a referral."

“At least you’ve been seen to, I don’t have to chase anyone up.” She said. “You know I’ll always worry. You find it endearing.”

"It's cute, but there's nothing to worry about. Just another daft flare."

“I’ll worry until we get the results.”

"Fine. All I did was stumble, and now it's playing up. I've probably just pulled something."

Ely shrugged. “I’m basically off the clock now.”

"It's getting late."

“Ollie, when you finish, would you mind stopping at ours and feeding Arrow? He’ll have had his walks from the dog walker but he’ll be starving.” She asked. 

"Of course I can. I never mind spending time with him. I can stay and keep him company until you two get home if you want?"

Ely smiled. “That would be great.”

"He's a sweetie, and I've got nowhere better to be." Ollie told them both. 

Fao was quiet, picking at a loose thread on the blanket on his lap, trying to stop thinking about Henri and what he'd said. 

Ollie left not much later, with Ely’s house keys. Once he was gone, she looked over at Fao. “Doing okay?”

"Tired."p

“I know, it’s late. Why don’t you try to get some rest?” She suggested gently. He’d been quiet all evening. 

"Been trying." He couldn't stop thinking about Henri. That silky smooth tone of voice, his hand gripping Fao's. 

“Well then, do you wanna talk?”

He shrugged. "I wanna go home."

She sighed. “I don’t think you are.”

"Maybe soon. They're just taking a while to sort x-rays."

She was silent for a moment. “I think you’ll be in overnight, at least.”

"Maybe. If I am, I'm sure Ollie will pick you up."

“Or I can stay. I don’t mind.”

"Don't be daft."

“I’m not. I don’t want you to be lonely.”

"It's late, I'll be asleep." He pointed out. 

“I’m still staying.”

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

She settled back in the chair. “Yeah. But I don’t mind being here.”

"We'll wait for the x-rays." He said firmly. 

“Okay.”

He just hoped he didn't have to wait much longer. His pain was already getting worse again. 

A registrar came over barely ten minutes later, and the look on his face told Ely all she needed to know. It wasn’t good news. 

“Good evening, Dr Blackwood,” was the greeting, “we have your x-ray results back.”

Fao forced himself to sit up, wincing. "And?" He couldn't even be bothered to tell the registrar to call him Fao. He could tell it wasn't good, his heart was pounding. And he was sure the doctor in front of him was one of Ollie's registrars. 

“I’m very sorry, but you have a B2 periprosthetic fracture. We can’t operate now but we’d like to in the morning.”

He was quiet for a moment. “Fuck. Who’ll be operating?”

“Dr Kent. He’s eager to get you seen to first thing.”

“Oh.” He replied softly. He looked down at his lap. “Is that all?”

"It appears upon your initial hip replacement there was a slight fracture. It's worsened over time, so we aim to fix it. This surgery will likely be longer than a run of the mill hip replacement.”

He shrugged. “It’s a revision. It’ll take as long as it takes.”

"Do you have any concerns?”

“I’ll talk to Kent tomorrow. Thanks.” He said, his voice a little cold.

The registrar nodded and left. Ely, after a moment, reached for his hand. "Talk to me.”

“About what?” He asked. “Shit happens.”

"How are you feeling?”

“Shit.”

"There's something else.”

“I really didn’t need this. I’m tired, I’m in pain, and now I have to have more surgery. It’s not fair.”

"I know it's not." She murmured. "But Kent is good, really good. He'll sort it for you.”

“I know. I’ll be off work for a stupid amount of time. They’ll probably fire me.”

"No they won't. None of this is your fault.”

“I’ve had so much sick leave they’re within their rights to dismiss me.”

"They're not going to want to lose someone like you."

"I've not been at my best."

She shrugged. "You'll get better. You're not going to lose your job."

"I might."

"You won't." She said firmly.

He sighed. "Feel so shitty. It really hurts."

“I know, honey. Do you want me to see if you can have more painkillers?”

"I can't, I'm at my max." He whined. "I guess I'll go to a ward soon if I'm lucky."

“I’m sure you will. Kent will have his way, and if you’re admitted they have to operate.”

“Yeah, but god knows how long it’ll take. I could be waiting days.”

“Let’s not think like that.” She urged. 

He sighed. “Sorry. Just…. Stressed. I hate this.”

“I know.” She soothed. “But I’m here.”

“I just wanna be home.”

She squeezed his fingers. “Soon.”

"Not soon enough."

“I know.”

Eventually someone came around to move him up to the ward. Once he was settled, he sat in silence for a while before he spoke. 

“You should go home.”

Ely frowned. “I’m fine to stay here.”

"No, go home. You've got to eat and I'll need stuff if I'm staying in. A revision is at least three days stay, if not more."

She sighed. “Alright, fine. I’ll see you in the morning, hopefully.”

"I doubt things will move fast. I'll see you in the morning."

“Alright. Take care, ring me if you need anything.”

"I will. Go on, get home. Your dog needs your love."

She offered him a smile. “I suppose he does.” She agreed, standing up and pressing a kiss to his forehead before she left. 

With her gone, Fao was properly alone. He was fine for a while, settling down under the thin sheets and trying to sleep. But he was sure he kept seeing the curtains twitch, or the light change, as though someone was coming in. And every time a nurse came in he could have sworn it was Henri. He knew he’d be home, rationally, but he couldn’t stop his mind getting away from him. 

He was tired and in pain but he just couldn't sleep. His stomach was churning with nerves, he couldn't stop thinking about his surgery. What if something went wrong? He could feel himself slipping, slowly losing control, and he so desperately wanted to cut. He wanted to feel the score of the blade over his skin, see the blood bloom and feel it run down his arm. But he couldn't. He had nothing to cut with, so he dug his nails into the palms of his hands until he broke the skin, and pulled at his cannula just to feel a tiny jolt of something other than the pain in his hip. He couldn't get comfortable, couldn't settle at all. His mouth was dry and he was sure his heart was racing. He wished Ely had stayed. He felt lost without her.

He barely slept all night, and watched the ward slowly light up as the sun rose. It was going to be a bright, cold winter's day - his favourite kind. All he wanted to do was wake up at home in his bed with the windows flung open and snuggle down under the duvet like nothing else mattered. He wanted to walk the dog on the frosty common and watch him chase sticks. He didn't want to be stuck in a hospital bed in agony.


	33. Chapter 33

Ely slept well, curled up with Arrow. Nonetheless, she was worried about Fao, and she was up with the sun, quickly showering, eating and getting Fao’s bag ready. Once she was sure everything was done, she got a taxi back to the hospital, and made her way back up to the ward her friend was on. The curtains were drawn around his bed and she slipped through them. 

Hair a mess and feeling terrible, Fao looked up as the curtains parted to see Ely. 

"Mornin'." He said quietly. 

She sat by his bedside. “Feeling okay?”

"Not really."

“Well, I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere.”

He smiled. "I'm glad. What did you pack for me?"

“Some pyjamas, shower gel, deodorant. All the basics.”

"Ah, good. Thanks."

“Anything I might have forgotten?”

"Not sure. There's this one hoodie I call my hospital hoodie...."

She beamed. “I know, it’s in there.”

"Really?"

She nodded. “Of course it is. It looks so cosy.”

He smiled. "It's daft, but I'm kinda superstitious about it."

She tilted her head. “You mean you’re Irish.”

"That too."

“Well, it’s here.” She said. “And I’m a good luck charm too.”

"You are."

“So I’m not going anywhere.”

He looked down at his lap. "Thank you. You've spent a lot of time in hospital with me recently."

“So?” She asked. “I’ll probably have to have another op soon anyway, and I know you’ll be there for me.”

"I still feel bad about it."

“There’s nothing to feel bad about.” She assured him. 

"Doesn't stop me feeling bad." He mumbled. "How are you, did you sleep alright?"

“I slept fine. I’m more concerned about you.”

He shrugged. "I'll be fine once this is over and I'm home."

“I’m still concerned about you. Hospitals are shit and this was the last thing either of us expected.”

"Yeah. Hospitals are really shit."

“It’ll be over soon enough.” She promised him. At least this injury wasn’t a result of Henri. 

He sighed. "I'd rather not be here at all. This was meant to be over two years ago."

“Well, hopefully after this it will be.”

“I don’t want another surgery.” He whined.

“No one ever does. But I’m here for you.”

"I've had too many. I don't wanna go under."

She hummed. “Do you want me to come down with you?” She asked. She knew it would only add fuel to the rumour mill, but she hardly cared. 

“I don’t know if you can. I don’t want to do this.”

“I’ll just use my ID.”

"I don't want to do this." He repeated, his voice quiet.

She leaned over to him, sitting on the bed and wrapping her arm around him. “I know, honey. But you have to, and I’m here anyway. I’ll look after you, make sure they do the best job.”

He whimpered. "I can't do this."

“You can. I know you can. You’re so brave.” She encouraged. 

"No, I can't."

Ely rubbed his arm. “You can. I promise you can. You’re a big strong soldier, it’s just a little needle, and I’ll make sure they give you the good stuff so you don’t come around badly.”

“I always come round like shit.” He muttered. “An’ I’m not a soldier anymore.”

“You’re not getting paid for it, but it’s a part of you. And I can make sure they give you a good anaesthetic and dose you right up on anti-emetics.” She told him, still holding him close. “I’ll make sure they treat you like a king.”

“Can’t I just not do it?”

She shook her head. “I know it’s awful, but you need your hip fixing. You’d hate a life stuck in bed.”

“I jus’ don’t think I can do this again. I’m tired.”

“I know honey, I know. But it’s okay, you’re gonna be just fine. I’ll be your nurse at home.”

“I just don’t have the energy to recover again.”

“I know. But it needs doing.”

"It's not fair."

She kissed the crown of his head. “It’s not.”

"I'm sorry about everything."

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.”

"I've caused such a fuss."

Ely shook her head. “You haven’t.”

"You're worried, Ollie is too. So is Alex. I've worried you so much."

“So? I’m sure I worry you when I cut my finger when I’m cooking.”

"You're stressful when you're cooking, but..."

“We’re allowed to be worried about you, because we care. And we’ll all look after you.”

"I never wanna cause hassle."

She shook her head. “You never do.”

He sighed. "If you say so."

“You don’t, I promise.”

"I try not to."

“I know. Sometimes life is a bit shit.”

"Very shit."

She hummed gently. “But you have a support system. We’d all do anything for you.”

"Ah, I don't deserve you."

“You do.”

"When do you think I'll go down? I wish I had a time."

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Has anyone been to see you?”

He shook his head. "Nobody except the nurses." He told her, shifting uncomfortably in bed.

“Hopefully someone will come soon.”

He sighed, leaning against her. The hours dragged by, and as morning turned to afternoon and then evening, it was looking less and less likely that Fao would get his surgery that day. A nurse had taken some blood and discussed things with him, but had no idea when they'd be able to get to theatre, if at all. But his information was on file and they had some recent blood work, so everything was ready. It was just a question of waiting. But Fao was tired and although he was nauseous he was starting to get hungry. His stomach growled and he was feeling a little light headed. He'd been on fluids to stop him getting dehydrated but it had been a long time since he'd eaten last. Before long it was dark outside and they were still waiting. He couldn't keep his nerves in check, his pain wouldn't go away, and the longer Ely stayed the more guilty he felt. She insisted things were fine but he knew they weren't. She'd been stuck with him all day.

She was reassuring him all was fine when finally, his anaesthetist came over. It was nearing 7pm, and it was a colleague she recognised. 

“Evening, Ely.” Luc greeted her, and turned to Fao. “I have to apologise for the wait. Kent wanted to get you in earlier but he got called away to a trauma-turned-amputation. We’re aware you haven’t eaten, and though it’ll be a long surgery we’re happy to see you this evening, if that’s alright with you. If not, we’ll sort some food for you.”

Fao swallowed thickly. "Tonight is fine."

Luc sat down. “We’ll have a chat then. You understand that this is a general anaesthetic procedure, yes?”

He nodded. "Yes."

Ely leaves forwards. “Can you use propofol to induce and sevoflurane to maintain? Fao has issues with coming around, and he’ll need plenty of antiemetics.”

The anaesthetist nodded. “Of course. I don’t doubt you’ve been thinking about it.”

Fao looked down. "Ely, you don't have to say anything. It's fine." He hissed.

She shook her head. “It’ll help, trust me.” She said softly, suddenly aware she must have come across as controlling.

"I don't need any special treatment."

“It’s not special treatment.” Luc replied. “It’s patient care, and it’s no hassle.”

“Well, if you’re both happy…”

“Are you happy?” Ely asked. 

“As happy as I’m gonna be.”

Luc hummed. “We’ll keep an eye on your blood pressure. Do you have any concerns?”

“I’m, uh, a very nervous patient. If it’s possible a premed would be good. I don’t know how soon you want to go down.”

“I can get something now, so it has time to kick in. Anything else?”

“No morphine. Other than that, no.”

“I’ll be right back, then.”

He nodded. “Thank you.” He murmured, and waited for him to leave before he turned to Ely. “Why are you trying to do special things for me! Let me be normal!” He said, his voice low but his words irate. 

Ely bit her bottom lip. “I’m not. Any other patient who has issues coming around would get the same.”

“You’re making requests on my behalf! You could have at least asked!”

She stayed calm. “Maybe I should have. I just thought I was helping.”

“I know that’s what you thought. But ask first, please. I’ve had enough of people making decisions for me for one lifetime.” He was quiet for a moment, though, thinking. “Look, I, uh, don’t have any next of kin. If they need you to make any decisions or whatever… Do whatever it takes to save my life, but if I’m going to end up as a vegetable in the ICU then don’t let them. Keep me living.”

Ely nodded solemnly. “Okay. Thank you for trusting me.”

“I know you only say this because you want to help. And you’re here. If anything happens in theatre they’re gonna talk to you.”

She reached for his hand. “Then I’ll do my best. But it’s a routine surgery, you’ll be fine.”

"It's not that routine."

“No, but it’s not life and death emergency.”

"No. It'll be okay."

She raised his knuckles to her lips. “But thank you for trusting me. I’ll do my best for you.”

"I really do trust you."

“That means a lot,” she murmured, “I know it’s hard for you.”

"Yeah. But I really do, it's true."

"Well, thank you." She murmured, just as Luc came back with the sedation. Because Fao already had a cannula in, it was just a simple question of injecting the drugs.

"This should help you." He assured Fao.

"Thank you. Hopefully it'll kick in, I'll probably still be a nightmare anyway."

"We'll take good care of you."

Fao hummed and nodded. "Thank you."

Luc finished and stepped back. "I'm sure Kent will be by soon."

"Great, thanks. Hopefully things will happen soon." Fao replied, closing his eyes.

"I'm sure they will. I'll seen you soon." He said, and departed.

Fao just had to wait, now. He knew the meds would kick in soon enough but it was a question of how quickly and how well would they do their job. It depended what he had. He focused on regulating his breathing, listening to the various sounds of the ward. 

Ely was still sat next to him, and she rubbed his shoulder. "Doing okay?”

“Yeah, gettin’ there. Jus’ want it to be over.”

"Soon it will be."

"Yeah."

"It will be. Then you can take me out running or something, help me stop sitting on the sofa stuffing my face."

"When I'm healed up."

She smiled. "Or we could go out and you could order me to do stuff."

"Perhaps. I can beat you with a crutch when you don't behave." He joked tiredly.

Ely continued to smile. "That's incentive."

"Mmm."

"I'll have to order some workout clothes, though."

"I'm sure you'll enjoy the online shopping."

"I'm sure I will." She agreed.

He drew in a deep breath. “You can have my card.”

Ely shook her head. "It's fine, I earn plenty.”

“If you say so.”

"I do. We could both live off of it, to be honest.”

“We’ll both be fine."

She kissed his cheek. "Of course we will. Feeling a little better now?”

“This is helping a bit. Heart not so fast.” He murmured.

"We could do some breathing exercises together?" She suggested.

“No, it’s ‘kay.”

“Mmm, alright. Arrow is at Ollie’s, so I can stay and wait for you.” She’d already murmured to a nurse she knew, asking for a cot to be brought up once Fao went down. 

"You don't have to."

“I want to.” She said gently, her voice quiet but not shy. 

"Alright. I don't have the energy to argue."

She hummed, silent for a few minutes before she admitted something. “The house feels.... weird, on my own. Too big.”

"I'll be back soon."

“I know you will. Right now, I’m focussed on helping you, just like you helped me with my seizures.”

"Yeah. You're doin' good now."

She beamed. “I know. I think I’ve finally got some working meds.”

"Hope so."

“And Arrow is amazing.”

"He is. Super sensitive."

She continued to hold him close. “I noticed. I swear he’s with you more than me.”

"He fusses over me."

“As he should. You deserve plenty of fussing.” She told him. 

"Perhaps, but he's not my dog. He's yours."

“I know. He loves you, though.”

"He gets me paranoid I might have a seizure though, the dumb shit."

Ely couldn’t help but laugh. “I don’t think you are. He’s just alerting to your pain.”

"I know, and my blood pressure. But it still freaks me out."

“It’s good for the blood pressure, he’ll let you know to find somewhere safe.”

"And do what? Make my heart do a better job?"

She rolled her eyes. “So when you faint, it’s somewhere soft and you don’t hurt yourself. Like when I go to my room when he alerts to a seizure.”

"I hardly ever faint."

“If you don’t, you don’t have to stay in your room.” She replied. “I don't.”

"I know, I know." He said, sighing. He fell quiet again after that, ignoring his nerves. 

“I should have brought a pack of cards. You’d win all my money, though, I’m terrible.” Ely said, breaking the silence to keep him distracted. 

"I'd never play for your money." He replied after a moment. 

“What would we play for?”

"Pride."

“And how will we know who won?”

"I'll win." He said tiredly, twisting to press closer to her. 

She reached into his hair. “Oh yeah?”

"Yeah." He replied, voice thick. 

The drugs must have been affecting him by now. Ely rubbed her fingers against his scalp. “Maybe when you’re home we can give it a go.”

"Yeah. You smell nice. Like roses."

“That’s my perfume. Thank you.”

"I like it."

"Well, I'll keep buying it." She promised.

“Yeah. Good."

"For what it's worth, I like your aftershave." Not that he had any on now - he was all stubbly and scruffy, but she liked it.

“Thanks.” He mumbled.

"And your shampoo.”

“Jus’ shampoo.”

She shrugged. "It smells nice.”

“‘kay. Drugs are helpin’.”

"That's good.”

“Wanna get it done. Get better.”

Ely smiled. "I know. I'm sure Kent will be over soon.”

“I hope so.” He whined.

Ely was right, Kent appeared after a few moments, though Fao didn’t see him, still buried in Ely’s chest. He nodded to Ely, then cleared his throat. 

“How are you doing, Fao?”

Fao startled, twisting to look up at him. “Oh. Not so good, but the drugs are working.”

"He'll be going down soon?" Ely asked.

Kent nodded. “We’re going to take him down in a few minutes. I just need to talk to Fao a little bit first.”

Fao shifted in bed, sitting up. “Yeah?”

Ely squeezed his shoulder, but didn’t move to the chair at his bedside. She’d move when he was on his way down. 

Kent hummed, and explained (simply) what he planned to do to stabilise Fao’s hip. He’d have gone into more detail had Fao not been basically high. Then, as a special favour, Kent said he’d be taking Fao down to theatre, if he was ready. Fao nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. He could do this.

Ely slipped off of the bed and picked up her handbag. “I’d like to come with you, if that’s okay.” 

Kent nodded. “Of course.”

She’d expected to be told no, but work relationships won through. With how nervous Fao had been, it would be better if she was there, a familiar face in the crowd. When the sides of the bed were pulled up, she wrapped her fingers around them, and smiled encouragingly at her roommate and friend. 

“You can do this.” She told him. 

He nodded. “Yeah, I can. Imma do this."

“You can. And I’ll be there when you wake up.”

“Thanks.” He said with a goofy smile.

She beamed back. “I’ll look after you.”

“You better.”

“Of course I will. I’ll be your nurse and your maid.” She promised. 

They were getting close now, and Fao sighed though his hands were trembling. He was fine, he’d be fine. He’d had all these drugs, they’d help.

She reached over and took his hand again, so he’d know she was there. “I’ll be at your beck and call, you can tell me to do whatever you want.”

“Too kind.” He mumbled.

“You know it.” She replied as they went through the doors.

He sighed, gripping her hand tightly. It was suddenly very real again, even the drugs couldn’t stop that. Kent disappeared a moment later, headed to go and get himself ready for theatre. The anaesthesia team was getting themselves ready and Fao reached out to take his glasses off and hand them to Ely. 

“Don’t lose them.”

She took them and put them in her bag. “Of course I won’t.”

“Thanks. ‘m scared.”

“I know you are. But you’re so brave.” She told him. It was strange for her, being here without doing the job herself. She wondered if Fao would have preferred that, had it been possible.

“‘m not. ‘m really scared.”

“You are. But you’re getting the good stuff today, and I’ll make sure you’re looked after.”

“I don’t wanna do it.” He whimpered.

“Oh Fao, it’s okay. It’s gotta be done so you can recover, yeah?”

“I don’t wanna do it.” He stressed, turning away from the anaesthetist and towards Ely even though it hurt. “Please don’t make me.”

She kissed his forehead. “I know it’s hard. Why don’t we take a couple of deep breaths together, hmm?”

He nodded. “D-deep breaths.”

“Just copy me.” She said, exaggerating her breaths. 

He did, trying the best he could even though his chest felt tight. Gently, someone rolled him onto his back to sort out all his monitoring equipment. But he copied Ely, still looking up at her and trying to breathe.

“Look at you, you’re doing really well. That’s it, keep breathing.”

He was trembling, staring up at her with wide eyes as he tried to breathe. Someone took his other hand, but he tensed, his shoulders drawing up.

“Shhh, it’s fine. You’re fine.”

He shook his head. "N-no."

“You are.” She told him, rubbing his shoulder. “I’ve got you, yeah? It’s not gonna hurt, you’ll come around fine, I promise. You’re so brave, Fao.”

He didn’t pull his hand away, but he was still tense. 

Luc spoke up. “I’m just going to give you a little more sedation, Fao. Nothing else, just something to relax you even more. I’m not going to put you under until you’re ready.” He soothed. 

Fao whimpered. “‘kay. M-more sedation.”

Once it was in, Luc hummed, rubbing his arm. "There you go. All done. Will you lie back for me and relax? You're gonna do yourself some more damage if you keep moving. Surely it hurts."

Fao nodded. "Okay. Yeah." He said, voice thick as he laid back against the hard bed, his heart still pounding.

Ely smiled softly. “There we are. Got any funny stories to tell me? I’m sure I still have some I haven’t told you about.”

"Dunno. Can't think."

“I once went out with a guy who had what he called dreads.” She told him. “He was all hippy, the ‘medication is bad for you’ type. He snorted cocaine every night and he didn’t know how to use the washing machine.” She told him. 

He wrinkled his nose. "How long for?"

“Two years. Can you believe it?”

"Jesus." He sighed. "T-two years wit' a coke head?"

“Wasn’t my smartest idea. I thought it was just uni culture.”

He huffed. "Gross."

“I know. I think it was him who made all those pot brownies, too.”

He grinned. The extra sedation was taking effect now, and he sighed contently, relaxing even further as his heart rate slowed down. "Mmhmm?"

“Yeah. Said it cured everything. Had no patience for my periods, either. Said I was making it up.”

"Weed is good for pain. It's good anyway. This is better, though."

She smiled. “I’m sure it is. But I broke up with him - left his dirty clothes all around campus.”

He giggled. "Meanie."

“He deserved it, he was an ass.” She replied, still smiling. 

"Yeah. Think 'm ready now."

Luc smiled at him. “Alright then. You keep breathing with Ely.”

He looked up at her, smiling a daft, dopey smile. He kept breathing with her, letting everything else just wash over him. He couldn't hear the chatter as Luc started with the propofol, all he could think about was Ely. He felt warm and heavy and his vision blurred as an oxygen mask was placed over his face and everything went black. 

Once he was under, Ely stepped back. It was an out of body experience to watch people doing the same job she did to him, but once they were done she left the anaesthetic bay and headed around to the observation room, where she settled on a chair to watch. She'd promised to be there, and if she was and something went wrong there wouldn't be a rush to find her. Not that anything would go wrong. Fao was strong and healthy, it was just a revision of a previous surgery, and Kent was good.


	34. Chapter 34

It was a very long surgery. Kent struggled to stabilise everything, and there was a lot of swearing. But he got there in the end, having to replace the entire stem in order to get the stability he wanted. There were a lot of screws and cable used, though finally he was happy with it. There was a little more bleeding than he’d like, but Fao stayed stable enough throughout, and eventually it was done. It was nearing 2am by the time Fao was taken to recovery.

Ely spent the entire time sat watching, all but curled up in the rather uncomfortable seat. Her eyes flicked from the work of Kent and his scrub nurse, to the anaesthetist sat at Fao's head. She couldn't see much from here, but the monitors were enough. He was doing well, and as the minutes bled into hours she relaxed. Her muscles had been tense with worry for her friend, but slowly they eased. Because of this, her eyelids started to close, and she had to keep jolting herself awake. Even the sound of the tools Kent used weren't enough to stop her sleeping.

She stirred at movement, and saw that the surgery was finished and they were rolling Fao out of theatre. A little ashamed that she'd fallen asleep, the blonde rubbed her eyes and stretched before standing up on her heavy legs. Fao would have told her to go home, but she didn't want to. There was no way she'd be allowed into recovery, not at this time, not when she wasn't on shift. So she headed for the hard chairs of the waiting area, ignoring the craving for a cigarette between her lips. If there was any time she would have smoked one, it would be now. Fao would be disappointed, and she'd be breaking her own rule.

But the hospital was warm and stuffy, and she'd been inside all day. After maybe ten minutes of sitting on her own, she was too restless to stay, and her feet took her outside, up to the roof. Fao had mentioned it in passing, once or twice. She knew he came up here to smoke, to look over the city of London and have peace. So that was where she went now, carefully swinging her legs over the edge of the building as she sat down and put a cigarette to her lips. It took a couple of times to light it, with Fao's lighter. She coughed a little, unused to the smoke, but soon got the hang of it. London looked so peaceful in the night, the thousands of golden lights giving the city life.

In recovery, Fao came round very slowly. He was aware of the nurses taking care of him, soft murmured words. But he was warm and heavy and he felt okay. Perhaps a little nauseous, but nothing more. He drifted in and out, and eventually when he woke up again he was back on the ward, though he didn’t move. Just shut his eyes again and slipped back into sleep. He was far too comfortable and warm, the pain having not set in yet.

She spent maybe half an hour out there, long after her cigarette had finished burning. But the air was chilly and before long she started to shiver, and so retreated inside. She nursed a cup of tea in the break room. Fao wouldn't be back yet, it would be at least another hour. She even made herself eat, toasting some slightly stale bread. It wasn't much, but it filled her stomach. Then, when it was almost the time her alarm would have been going off if she was working, she headed back to the ward and found Fao in his bed, looking peaceful as he slept. It was the most peaceful she'd ever seen him, and she was holding her breath as she tiptoed past him and curled up in the cot the nurses had put at his bedside for her.

He didn’t sleep well that night, constantly too hot under the sheets. He kept waking up, though fell asleep quickly each time. He spotted Ely curled up in a cot beside him, and scoffed. He wasn’t surprised she’d stayed, and when he finally woke at around ten that morning, the pain was beginning to creep in. He sighed and shifted in bed, whining a little.

She awoke not much later - despite being utterly exhausted, it was never easy to sleep in a hospital. That was just the nature of it. Rubbing her eyes, she rolled onto her side to look at him. 

“Hey, Fao.” She greeted, her voice hoarse. 

“G’mornin’.” He said thickly. “‘m still alive.”

“You are. It went well.”

“Mmm, I gathered.”

She smiled. “Feeling okay?”

“Bit of pain. But ‘m okay.”

“Do you want me to call someone?” She asked. 

“In a bit.”

“Okay.”

“‘m ‘kay right now.”

She pushed herself into a sitting position. “That’s good. I know you’ll let me know or call for a nurse when you’re not.”

"Yeah."

“You must be sleepy.”

He nodded. "Yeah, but gave up tryin'."

“I could come cuddle you?”

He grinned. "I'd like that."

She got off of her cot and moved onto his bed, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “There.”

He sighed, relaxing against her. He'd shuffled over to give her room to settle beside him, and now pressed back up against her. "Thanks."

“It’s okay. You just cuddle up and close your eyes.”

He closed his eyes, breathing in the smell of her perfume. "You should go home soon."

“I’m fine to stay here as long as you need me.”

"You gotta eat and shower and stuff."

“I suppose,” she agreed, “you saying I’m smelly?”

"No! But you need time for yourself." He said thickly. "Later. Wanna cuddle now."

“Well, that’s good. I like cuddling you.” Maybe he’s drift off again soon. 

He hummed. "I like cuddlin' you too."

“I should hope so. My boobs make great cushions.”

"They do."

She laughed. “I’ve got you.”

"Mmm, you have."

“You can have all the cuddles you want.”

"Thanks."

She ran her fingers through his hair. “They’re medicinal.”

"Yeah. Will you help me change later?"

“Of course I will.”

"You're kind."

He fixed for a little while, pressed up against her. But when he woke again, the pain was really getting to him, and he nudged her. 

"Ely? Can you get me some painkillers?"

She stirred, having been dozing off herself, and hummed. "Yeah, of course. Let me up?"

He pulled away from her to let her up, smiling. "Nothing too strong, eh?"

"Of course not." She said, slipping from the bed and picking up his chart to check over it.

He rolled his eyes. "Jus' ask, don't be a doctor."

"I am a doctor!" She replied. "I want to know what you've already been on."

"'m not your patient."

"I know." She murmured. "But if you're doing well on something there's no point changing it. Let me?"

"Fine."

She beamed at him, and finished looking in his chart. He'd been on tramadol, and she hummed to herself. "How bad is the pain? You've been on tramadol."

He shrugged. "Better than it used to be."

"Do you want more tramadol or do you want to try codeine?"

He thought for a minute. "I'll stay with the tramadol for now, it's early days. I'll try the codeine later, maybe."

"Alright." She said, closing the chart and putting it back. "I won't be long, promise."

"If you think that's okay. If you think I shouldn't have it then I'll try the codeine."

Ely shook her head. "I trust you. There's nothing wrong with sticking with what's working right now."

"If you're sure."

"Of course I am." She told him, and gave him an encouraging smile before she rushed off to get a nurse.

He nodded, closing his eyes. He was trying to stay brighter than he was. In truth, he was still exhausted.

It took a couple of minutes to find a nurse, but Ely did, and requested a smaller dose of tramadol for him. When she came back Fao looked like he was asleep, so she settled in the chair by his bedside instead.

He'd dozed off again by the time she arrived, his hair falling into his face as he slept. 

She wasn't surprised. He'd probably sleep all day, and the anaesthetic would be in his system for a week at the least. She was content to let him rest - it was early still, she wouldn't have to leave for a while. For now, she could just stay here in case he needed her.

He didn't stir when the nurse came in to top up his pain relief, sleeping through it, but he woke about an hour later, yawning. He was surprised to see Ely still there. 

"You not gone home yet?"

She shook her head. "Not yet. I wanted to make sure you were alright before I did."

"'m fine. You should go. 'm gonna sleep most of the day."

“Alright. I’m just a call away if you need me, yeah?”

“Yeah, I know.”

She stood, stooping to tuck his blankets around him, and kissed his forehead. “I’ll come see you tonight, bring you some proper food, alright?”

“Mmm, please.”

“Better than hospital food.” She said. 

“So much better. There’s loads in the freezer.” He told her thickly.

“Of course there is. See you later.” She said softly, kissing his forehead again before she left. 

He smiled up at her. “See you.”


	35. Chapter 35

Henri came some time later. He’d heard of Fao’s op having been completed, and new that he had limited time. So he headed up to the ward, and slipped around the curtains to find his ex-boyfriend sleeping. With a smile, he settled in the chair Ely had previously occupied, and ordered a nurse dealing with another patient to fetch a jug of water. 

Fao stirred at the sound of talking, expecting Ely back. He knew she'd never stay long, she was an idiot like that. But when he opened his eyes, it wasn't Ely he saw. It was Henri. Feeling nervous and rather sick, he swallowed thickly and tried to sit up, frowning. 

"Henri?"

Henri leaned over. “Hey, it’s alright. You rest, I’m sorting everything for you.”

Fao pushed his hair out of his face. "Sortin' what? Go 'way."

“Everything.” He repeated, and when the water was brought he poured some and held out the cup to Fao. “Here, you must be parched.”

Fao took the water, but only because he was thirsty. “There’s nothin’ to sort.”

“Of course there is. Besides, I promised I’d be here for you. I’ve been seeing someone, a therapist. I’m getting better for you. You’re the love of my life.” The lie was silky smooth, told with a confidence that it could only be true. He’d always had a silver tongue. 

Fao narrowed his eyes. “‘m living my own life, I don’t need you or your therapist.”

“I want you back, Fao. I’ve changed, I promise, and I’ll prove it to you. How’s your pain?”

“It’s fine.”

“Alright. I just want to help.”

“I’m fine.” He said firmly. “I don’t need help.”

“Of course you do. I wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

“I don’t. Not from you. You broke my wrist.”

Henri reached out to pat Fao’s thigh. “I’m really sorry about that. I was angry, but like I said, I’m getting help. I can’t apologise enough.”

He stiffened. “You could have killed me.”

“I’d never do that, I love you.” Henri said softly. “Everything I do is for you.”

“Henri, this isn’t the time. I’m recovering from major surgery.”

“Exactly why you need me.”

“I’m past that. This isn’t like before.”

Henri shook his head. “I’ve always been there for you, let me be here again. Please?”

Fao wavered. “For a bit, okay.” He’d kind of missed being taken care of. Henri was good at fussing, at least.

“Thank you. Let’s get you changed, yeah? I remember you used to love wearing my pyjamas, so I brought some for you.”

“Ely packed me some of mine.” He said quietly. “In the holdall by the bed.”

Henri made a noise, but didn’t say anything. It was best not to insult the anaesthetist while he gained Fao’s trust once more. He simply unpacked the pyjamas from the cupboard next to the bed and laid them out across Fao’s feet. 

“Blanket down, then.”

Fao nodded and pushed the blanket down carefully, aware he was delicate. He couldn’t quite look at Henri, keeping his gaze down.

Henri smiled, and pulled the blanket down further. “Let’s get some trousers on you before we take that gown off.”

"Please."

Gently, Henri slipped Fao’s feet and calves into the rolled up legs of his trousers, and carefully pulled them up. “Hips up, pumpkin.” He said as he reached his hips. 

With a whimper, Fao lifted his hips. The stitches tugged at his incision but he didn’t say anything, gritting his teeth until they were on.

Henri was quick and smooth, and got the pants on in a second or so. “That was really good, I’m proud of you. Still doing okay?”

“Hurt.” He whimpered. “But keep goin’.”

“They’re on, pumpkin. Do you think you can sit forwards for me? We can get your shirt on.”

He nodded again, sitting forwards. He had to steady himself, and the movement made him cough. It was simply because he hadn’t moved in a while and he had shitty lungs.

He rubbed his back in soothing circles. “It’s okay.” He purred, and undid the gown. It fell away and he reached for the top. “Arms up, sweet.”

He did as he was told, lifting his arms up to help Henri get his top on. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Was the reply, as he straightened the hem. “Must be good to be out of that gown, hmm?”

“So good.”

“You can settle back again now.”

He did, with a huff. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, pumpkin. Do you want another drink? Painkillers?”

“‘m okay.”

“Alright then. I can stay for a little longer before I have to get back to work.”

He was really quiet for a moment, closing his eyes. Then, he spoke. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” Henri replied, “but I’m here now.”

“Like before.”

“It is. I always look after you.”

“Mmmhmm. You do.”

Henri reaches for the chart at the end of the bed, crossing one leg over the other idly. He frowned as he read it. “They put you on tramadol? That’s much too strong.”

Fao frowned. “It’s working. I’m gonna step down later.”

“You shouldn’t be on something that strong, it’s dangerous for you.”

“Henri, it was major surgery. It’s okay, my doctors agreed…”

Henri huffed, continuing to read. “They’ve put a lot of metal in you. It can’t have been that bad, surely. They just want to cost the NHS more money.”

“Look at my pre-op x-ray.” Fao said sharply. “B2 Periprosthetic fracture."

“Don’t talk to me like that.”

Fao sighed. “I don’t think they did anythin’ unnecessary.”

“We’ll find out. You should sleep.”

Fao sat up better, pushing his hair out of his face again, irritated by it. He’d tie it up but he was still tired and he’d get tangled in all the wires. 

“I don’t need to sleep. You can talk to Kent yourself if you want, it’s fine.”

“Maybe I will. You shouldn’t have needed a replacement so soon.”

“It was a periprosthetic fracture, Henri. Happened when they first put it in, got worse.”

Henri rolled his eyes. “At least it’s sorted now.”

“Mmmhmm.”

"When you're feeling a little better, we could go away somewhere," he suggested, "just for a few days, so you're not cooped up.”

“You know what ‘m like when ‘m stuck at home.”

"I do. We could go somewhere peaceful.”

“I’d like that.”

"I'll get looking for somewhere." He said, placing the chart back. "And I'll make sure the nurses know to give you something else instead of tramadol.”

“Can’t I stay on it just for today?”

Henri shook his head. "Your next dose can be something else.”

Fao whined, but he knew better than to argue. “Okay.”

"You know you can't risk it.”

“I’ve been doing better. After my last op I was really good.”

"I'd rather you didn't. Why tempt fate?”

“I’m not taking them myself. By the time I’m discharged it’ll be basically just paracetamol I’m sure.”

"And you'll be discharged in a few days, so why bother with another dose of tramadol?" Henri countered.

“To help me sleep tonight.”

"That's hours away. You'll be fine on something else.”

“Alright.”

Henri smiled. "Do you want something to eat?”

He nodded. “Something small.”

"I can get you something. You'll be best with something bland.”

“Yeah. You know what ‘m like.”

"I do. I'll get you some toast." He said, and kissed Fao's forehead before he left. He came back quickly with dry, unbuttered toast, which he placed on the table. "Bring your bed up and lean forwards, I'll plump your pillows.”

Fao did as he was told, moving his bed up further and leaning forwards so Henri could fuss. He sighed, chewing his lip.

Henri plumped them, and then placed his hand on Fao's shoulder to push him back against them. "There, that's got to be better.”

Fao huffed as he was pushed back against the bed. “Yeah.”

"Come here, here's your toast.”

He reached for it, nibbling on it a little. He wasn’t properly hungry, he never was. He put the toast down in the end, reaching for his water. “How’s work? NHS today?” 

"Yes, it's going well. Had a belt lipectomy this morning.”

“Anythin’ later?”

"An otoplasty and labiaplasty.”

“Oh, involved then. I shouldn’t keep you.”

"I can stay for a little while.”

“I don’t want to keep your patients waiting, I’m not worth it.”

Henri raised an eyebrow. "You are definitely worth my time.”

“No, I’m not.”

"Of course you are." Worth putting under his boot, more like.

He glanced down. “Henri, it’s fine. Work comes first.”

"Well, I'll come see you before I leave tonight.”

He nodded. “Hope your list goes well.”

"I'm sure it will." Henri said, and pressed a kiss to Fao's lips before he left. He strode out with confidence, happy that he'd already worked Fao down so much. When he was discharged, he would be coming back home. He paused by the ward doors to squeeze some antibacterial foam onto his hand and was smacked into as the door opened and someone stepped through.


	36. Chapter 36

Ely had had a shower when she got back home, and a nap with Arrow, then something to eat. With a meal defrosted from the freezer, she'd got a taxi back to the hospital, and had been in her own mind when she bumped into Henri. She paused for a second, staring up at him with venom in her eyes, and then strode away.

Henri went to speak, and decided against it in the end. She wasn’t worth his time, she was nothing. He stalked away, heading back to work. He’d see Fao later and then he’d be his. 

When Henri left, Fao was shaking a little. He felt sick and he almost was, though he had nothing really to throw up. He only really gagged, downing some water afterwards. He was still shaking, though, and settled down under the covers and tried to think about anything else. Why was he suddenly so interested in him? Henri had been ignoring him for months.

Ely pushed her way through the curtains, and her voice was soft when she spoke.

"Hey, Fao." She greeted. "Had a nice afternoon?”

He jumped as she came in, then nodded when he realised it was Ely. “Mmmhmm.”

He looked pale, and he wasn't in a hospital gown any more. Assuming a nurse had helped him, she sat down and noticed the plate of toast on the table. Had he eaten? That was weird.

"Feeling okay?”

“Not bad.”

"That's good. I see you're out of the gown.”

“Uh, yeah. Pass me my hoodie?”

She pulled it out of the cupboard. "Do you need a hand putting it on?”

“I’ll be fine.” He said, reaching for it. “I’m just cold.”

"Okay." She said, passing it over. "Done anything interesting while I've been gone?”

“Not really.” He didn’t want to tell her about Henri. She’d just be angry.

"That's okay. I didn't do anything either.”

“Showered?”

She smiled. "Yeah. I don't stink now.”

“I’d kill for a shower.” He said, tugging the sleeves of his hoodie down over his hands.

"You might have to make do with a bed bath.”

He wrinkled his nose. “Maybe I’ll stand tomorrow an’ they can stick a waterproof dressin’ on.” 

"I'm sure you'll be able to. And once you've got one on you can go in the wet room and sit down while you shower.”

“Maybe I can pee on my own too.” He said with a grin.

She couldn't help but laugh. "Maybe so.”

“I’d like that. Too many wires right now. ‘m forever tangled."

"Some of them will come off soon enough, promise.”

“Yeah, I know.”

She hummed. "Did a nurse help you get changed?”

“I had a hand, yeah.”

Ely smiled. "That's good. Some toast, too, by the looks of it."

"Yeah, but not much. I'm kind of nauseous."

She hummed sympathetically. "Do you want me to get someone to sort an antiemetic, or do you think you could handle peppermint tea?"

"Peppermint tea sounds really nice."

"I'll get you some, then, and put a dash of cold in it so you can drink it straight away." She'd have to go get it out of her locker - she kept it there so it wouldn't get stolen - but it wouldn't take too long. She could put the kettle on before she went to get the teabag.

"Thank you."

"Try not to get into trouble while I'm gone." She joked, standing up. It took her less than ten minutes to fetch the teabag, by which time she had to reboil the kettle again, but it wasn't an issue. She returned to Fao's bedside with the hot cup.

"Careful, I think it's still a little hot." She warned.

"I don't mind hot." He replied, taking the mug and cradling it in his hands. She'd bagged his favourite one from the staff room, which made him smile. He was so lucky to have her as a friend.

"I know, but I don't want you to burn your tongue, it's shit."

"I'll survive, I'm an adult."

“I know, but it’s still shit.”

"Yeah, I suppose." He mumbled, sipping the hot liquid. 

She settled back. “Would you believe I missed you?”

"I missed you too. Wanna come join me?"

“If you want me to.”

He nodded. He wanted the contact, the familiar smell of her perfume. 

She moved over, settling on the bed next to him. “Come here, cuddle up.”

He pressed up close to her, as much contact as he could get without hurting himself or getting tangled. He drew in another deep breath, the familiar smell of her perfume soothing him. But there was something else, something that made him painfully aware of the nicotine he'd been craving. 

"You smell like cigarette smoke. Seen Alex?"

Ely sighed, and shook her head. “No. I may have lit a cigarette while you were in surgery and I wanted another. It’s bad, I know.”

He couldn't hide his surprise. "Ely!"

“What? I was worried about you!”

"Not a good enough reason to smoke." He told her. "You should have heard me earlier, I was coughing away like a trooper. Don't get into the habit."

“I’m gonna try not to, promise.”

"They all say that." He replied, but snuggled up to her anyway.

“I am. But thank you for the concern, really. You’re such a great friend.”

"Can't have you smoking. Who'll look after me when I'm dying of lung cancer otherwise?"

“Oh, so that’s all you want me around for?” She teased. 

"Yeah."

“Well, I’d be honoured.” She murmured. “I like to think I take better care of you than other people.”

"You do."

“I, uh, saw Henri on my way in. Kinda wish I’d tripped him up.”

"Oh. You saw him?"

“Walked into him. Arrogant ass.” She muttered. 

"Oh."

She frowned. “What’s wrong?”

"He, uh, was here."

“He came to see you?” She asked, stiffening. “God, if I get my hands on him....”

"He came, yeah. Got me toast, helped me change."

She let out a long breath. “What did he say?”

"Can't we let it go? He's gone."

She shook her head. “Please tell me you haven’t taken him back. Not after everything he did.” Her voice was soft, but her blood was boiling. 

"Not properly. All we did was talk."

“Not properly? Fao, he’s just trying to control you. He’s seen you’re vulnerable and he’s taking advantage.” She stressed. 

"We just talked!"

“About what?”

"My surgery, painkillers, his list for the day..."

“Don’t listen to anything he says,” she said, “you know he’s bad news. I don’t want him hurting you again.”

"It's fine. He left, it's not a big deal."

“It’s a massive deal!” She exclaimed, and then roped herself in. “You thought he was going to kill you. Entertaining him will only make him think he has you back, and how long will it be before he hits you again? Days, weeks, a month?”

"Stop it!" He snapped. "I didn't say I sucked his cock and we're getting married. We talked. I can't exactly tell him to leave in the state I'm in, there's no way I'd have been able to force him to go away. So we talked and then I convinced him he should go back to work. I'm capable of dealing with this myself!"

She pressed her lips together. “I’m just worried about you. I nearly lost you last time, you’re my best friend.”

"I'd never be stupid enough to move back in with him." He told her. "But I needed help getting changed and he was there. I knew what he was trying to do, but I'm not fit. He's not a man you say no to, Ely."

She sighed. “Alright. I’m still gonna slap him if I see him, though.”

"Be careful."

“Of course. I hate him trying to work his way back into your life.”

"It's what he does. We were struggling before my accident. He wanted me home all the time, on less tours. We were on the verge of a break up and then I was in a helicopter crash."

“I didn’t know that.” Of course she didn’t, she hadn’t known him then. 

"Nobody does. We were every inch the perfect couple."

“Thank you for telling me. I’m sorry for getting upset.”

"I understand why you did." He replied, somehow moving closer to her. "I felt fine until he kissed me."

She couldn't help but shiver. "He kissed you?”

“Before he left.” He said, reaching carefully for his tea, which he sipped whilst still pressed against her.

"Do you want me to get Alex to go after him?"

"No, it's fine. It wasn't a proper kiss."

"I can't believe he did that. He must really think he's won you back."

"He's trying."

She pulled a face. “Please don’t go back to him. You deserve so much more.”

"I'm trying not to. I swear. He's so... Charming. I hate it."

“I know.”

"He makes it so hard to resist."

She rubbed his arm. “I know. But just remember what he did to you. No one who loves you would do that.”

“I know, that’s what I try to do.”

She hummed. "Is he why you feel sick?”

“Partly.”

"I'm sorry.”

“And it’s the anaesthesia.”

"That should pass soon enough," she assured him, "did you come around okay? I was there for the surgery but when you went to recovery I went upstairs.”

“Mmm, not too bad. I wasn’t sick, which was a first.”

She smiled. "That's good."

"I don't remember much."

"Most people don't. Have you been on your feet yet?"

He shook his head. "Later. After I've seen Kent."

"He's not been yet?"

"He stuck his head in to say he'd try and be by at the end of his shift."

She hummed, happy with that. "That's good. The sooner you're on the feet, the sooner you can come home."

"Yeah, I'm hoping he'll let me up tonight."

"He should do."

"I'm good at crutches."

She smiled. "I imagine you are. It'll be good to get you home again."

"I can't wait to be home."

"Arrow is missing you. He keeps running to the door when he hears something."

"Aw, bless. I miss him too."

"Missing me?" She asked.

"So much."

"It'll be soon, I'm sure.”

“I really hope so. Tomorrow and hopefully one more day, depending on how I do. Could be longer.”

"I think you'll do brilliantly."

"Maybe."

"Of course you will."

He shrugged. "I've not been lucky with this hip before now. Why would anything change now?"

“Because Kent is amazing and you’re full of metal now, like a robot.” She replied. 

“I was full of metal before.”

“Well, even more now. You’ll be fine.”

“Hopefully.”

“Like I said, you have Kent.”

“He’s a good one to have in my corner.”

She kissed the side of his head. "He really is.”

He hummed. “Ollie really rates him.”

"Ollie was worried about you, you know."

"Ollie worries about everyone."

Ely made a noise of agreement. "That's true. He rung me earlier and woke me from my nap."

"Checking up on me or you?"

"Both. He wanted to know how you are, and if I'd driven myself insane."

That made Fao laugh. "Classic Ollie."

"He'll probably appear before long."

"Of course he will. I'm surprised I've not seen him already."

She grinned at him. "He may have met someone."

"Oh, is that so?"

"Mmm, yeah. A midwife, I think."

"Oh, interesting. I'll have to embarrass him about it later."

She laughed. "Yeah, you should. I think he's a little lovestruck.”

“Perfect for teasing, then.”

"Won't tell me anything about him, though.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll get it out of him.”

"Mmm, alright. Has your tea gone cold?"

"No, it's still warm."

"That's good."


	37. Chapter 37

He stayed cuddled up to her until Kent arrived. He checked him over, talked him through the surgery, and agreed to get him up on his feet that evening, now he was over the worst effects of the anaesthesia. It was hard work, but it was good to be out of his bed for a little while. He was given some more independence, less to get tangled up in, and was told to do as much as he could. After another two days in hospital, they agreed to discharge him. It took most of the day to get things sorted, but eventually he was home. Ollie had picked him up and driven him home to Ely, and now Fao was settled on the sofa he was absolutely exhausted. 

Ely had expected him home before her, well... it wasn’t a date, not really. Sex meet up? Either way, he hadn’t been home when Sophia had arrived, and since then she’d been rather distracted. Once they’d both showered, Ely escorted the other woman downstairs and thanked her for the good time before locking the door behind her. When she turned into the living room, she was surprised to see Fao there.

“Oh, uh, you’re home.” She said, cheeks burning. 

Even with the TV on, Fao had been able to hear his roommate upstairs. She was moaning and swearing and at one point he was sure he heard her scream. Which irritated him, because she knew he'd be coming home that day and yet she was upstairs getting fucked. Why couldn't she just cook him dinner or be around to greet him with a smile? He'd got a greeting from the dog at least. He couldn't help but feet jealous and upset. He'd at least been expecting a hug. That wasn't too much to ask, was it? 

When she finally emerged and greeted him, he huffed. "Yeah, I have been for a while."

“Sorry. I’ve been talking to Sophia for a while and I didn’t want to cancel.” She murmured, messing with her sleeves. 

"It's fine." He replied, looking at the TV. "Sounds like you enjoyed yourself."

“God, I’m so sorry.” She apologised again. 

"Doesn't matter." He told her. "I'm just home, it's not a big deal."

“It does matter.” She said, sitting next to him on the sofa. “Do you fancy fried chicken?”

"Sure, if you do."

“I know you wanted it last time.”

"It's pretty good."

She offered him a smile. “Fried chicken it is, then. Anything extra you want?”

He shrugged. "It'll be fine, whatever we got last time."

“Okay. Do you want a drink or anything while we wait?”

"I'm fine."

Awkwardly, she tried to settle back on the sofa. Arrow jumped up between them both. “I’ll, uh, try to keep it down in the future.”

"Do what you want. It's your life."

“It’s your house too, though.” She’d go to other people’s houses and flats more, give him some space. It was better for both of them. 

"I admit I wasn't expecting you to be screaming your head off this afternoon. The dog was sulking."

Her cheeks continued to burn. “Of course he was. Won’t happen again.”

"Do it when I'm at work or something, I don't care. You just surprised me."

“Alright.”

"Send me a text or something. I've been signed off of work for at least 8 weeks so I'll be under your feet for a while."

She shrugged. "We could do stuff together on my days off? Nothing hard, just maybe the cinema and stuff?"

"How are we gonna get there? Neither of us can drive."

"Taxi?" She suggested.

“Maybe.”

"If you'll let me pay." She joked.

“Never.”

"Come on, please?”

“No, you know I like to pay for stuff.”

"Pretty please?" She asked, finally shuffling closer to him. "Otherwise I'll never spend money.”

“Spend it on yourself. Clothes, sex toys, whatever.”

She snorted. “I don’t need toys.”

“Maybe they’ll keep you quiet. Buy yourself a gag.”

She stared at him, bright red. “Get your mind out of the gutter.”

“Like you care.”

"I can't believe you've just told me to buy a gag!”

“Well, needs must."

"I can't believe you.”

He grinned. “You better.”

She pushed his shoulder playfully. "You're mean.”

He pushed back. “No I’m not.”

"You so are.”

“I’m lovely. And you can’t bully me, I just got out of hospital.”

She laughed. "I'm not bullying you.”

“You are!”

"You're the one bullying me!”

“Never.”

She pulled a face at him. "You are.”

“I’m a gift, don’t lie.”

"I didn't say you weren't a gift," she replied, "just that you're bullying me.”

“I’m not bullying you!”

"You are." She responded, flopping against him. It helped she was sat on his good side, so she wouldn't hurt him. "I asked Alex about Chris, though."

"And? Give me the gossip."

"Apparently they went out on a date," she said, grinning like the cat that had got the cream, "and 'retired to his place'. Y'know, I can never imagine Alex getting fucked." Alex had always fucked her, instead.

“They went out on a proper date?!”

She nodded. "Apparently so. She didn't tell me much about that, she was too busy telling me how good he is in bed.”

“I don’t see how you can’t imagine Alex getting fucked. Did she always top?”

"Yeah. I'm not much one for it, if I'm honest.”

“That girl can spread her legs, promise.”

Ely grinned. "I believe you. I just don't really fuck others, if you get what I mean.”

“You like to spread yours.”

"Exactly. It's easier.”

“Yeah.”

"Though maybe I'm just lazy."

Ely spent the rest of the week with him, helping him settle back at home and get used to getting around. She was perhaps a little overbearing and fussy, but she wanted to help him. Then, at his insistence, she gave him some space. It helped she had work, but then she settled back into messaging people on apps for hookups. There was rarely a day, to be honest, when she wasn't entertaining someone or heading out to meet them. The days that she wasn't, she was working. All in all, it meant she hardly saw her roommate, and really only saw Arrow when she wasn't fucking - it was awkward with him there, watching her, and once he alerted her while she was being fucked against the wall. That had put a damper on things.

She came home late one night, nearly 9pm on her day off, and tried to shut the door quietly behind her. But Arrow came rushing over, claws clicking on the floor and his bark more than enough to wake anyone up. She hoped Fao wasn't asleep. She'd been desperate for attention, really. Her heart quickened and there were butterflies in her stomach when she saw him, and he'd come so far from when he'd been with Henri. But he wouldn't want her, and even if he did, it wouldn't be anytime soon.


	38. Chapter 38

At first, Fao had found Ely's constant hook ups funny. Endearing, even. But as time dragged on, it became irritating. She was never home, and if she was she was fucking someone. Her days off, when she said she'd wanted to spend time with him, go to the cinema and stuff, were spent out of the house with whoever she'd picked out off of Tinder. And even when she was at work it didn't mean she wasn't hooking up. She'd been home late on more than one occasion and he knew she wasn't working - Ollie had told him so. 

His recovery was hard, and exhausting. Being on crutches made his wrist act up and even three weeks post op he was still in considerable amounts of pain. He spent most days alone on his own, struggling to do things. He hated to admit he needed help, but it hardly seemed fair that he was doing everything by himself, and Ely would arrive home after a hook up to food on the table. He couldn't walk the dog, so they had to get a walker, and if she was getting fucked the dog would sulk with him until she'd appear in the early hours and steal him from his bed. Sometimes she didn't, and he was worried about her having a seizure in the night. He'd reached the end of his tether. 

That night, he was in bed with the bedroom door slightly open, reading a tattered crime novel when Arrow jumped off of the bed and rushed downstairs to the door. Fao wasn't about to haul himself out of bed to greet her, so waited for her to head upstairs like he knew she would. 

She quickly hushed her service dog with whispered words and a pat, and headed upstairs. Her footsteps were muffled by the carpet, and she went to the bathroom to brush her teeth, noticing that Fao's light was still on. 

"You're home late." Fao called. 

She was just wetting her toothbrush under the tap, and she sighed before putting it away. She'd best talk to him. Perhaps a little nervously, she stuck her head around his door.

"Yeah, sorry."

"Come in, I'm not getting up."

She hummed, and slipped inside. Arrow followed her, pushing the door open with his nose before she could close it.

"I, uh, didn't meant to be so late." She told Fao, and that was the truth.

"I've been by myself all day, again."

She rubbed her wrist absently. "I know."

"I don't even think we've had a conversation since Monday. What's going on?"

Ely shrugged. "Nothing much. You know what work gets like..."

"You weren't in work today." He pointed out sharply, finally putting his book down and looking at her over his reading glasses. "We used to share a bed in the flat, now we hardly talk."

She bit her lip. It would have been better if he was shouting - even though he was sat in bed, this had a distinct feel of a teacher lecturing a student. 

"Sorry." She said lamely, repeating herself yet again.

"I stumbled going downstairs today. What would I have done if I'd have fallen? You weren't around, Ollie's at work. All I had was the dog."

"I don't know." She said quietly, with a rush of guilt.

"Of course you didn't know, because you weren't here!"

"I'm sorry." She said yet again.

"Ely, I'm struggling! I can't do this on my own all the time!" He said. "This is really hard, I'm exhausted constantly. I have to cook, keep the house tidy, sort the dog out and do the laundry all the time. It's like you don't even live here. And don't get me started on your 'overnight guests'! I had a panic attack on Saturday morning when I went down to the kitchen to find someone I didn't know sat at the breakfast bar! I'm fed up!"

Her bottom lip wobbled. "I don't.... I don't mean to leave you on your own, and you don't have to do everything. I'm really sorry you had a panic attack." She hadn't known things were so bad for him - it wasn't what she wanted.

"You know I can't help but do everything, it's just me! But I need your help. My recovery has been so bloody hard this time, you just don't know because you've never been there!"

She couldn't even look at him, and instead stared at her feet. "I'll try to be around more.”

“Can you just stop fucking random people?!”

"If you don't like it, yeah.”

“I'm just done, Ely. I’m done.”

"I'll stop it." She promised, and still didn't look up.

“Look at me? Why won’t you look at me?”

She looked up. "I'm ashamed, I guess. And you're angry." It was the first time he'd been angry in ages. Since way before he broke up with Henri.

“I’m frustrated, and I’m tired.”

"I know. I'll try my best to be about.”

“Thank you. That’s all I ask.” He murmured. “It’s so hard when the house is full of random strangers.”

"I should have thought about you." She said quietly. "Instead of just thinking about myself.”

“It’s alright. Just my daft PTSD. You wanna get ready for bed and, uh, come cuddle?”

"That would be nice.”

“I’ve missed sharing with you. I liked our cuddles."

She managed a smile. "I liked them too. I, uh, won't be long.”

“Go on.”

She paused for a second, and then hurried out. She'd had a shower before she left her hookup's place, but she had another one now, and scrubbed hard at her skin as if to get rid of any traces. Then she bundled herself up in pyjamas - nothing too thick, Fao would be enough to warm her - and then wandered back. Arrow had followed her all the while, and now he jumped onto the foot of the bed as she slipped under the duvet.

He moved over to cuddle up to her, rolling onto his good side to wrap his arms around her. “Sorry for being angry.”

"It's okay, you're allowed to be. I said we'd do stuff together and then fucked off.”

“You should get an STD test.”

"I'm gonna." She'd taken precautions anyway, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

“I, uh, I think I need one too.”

She frowned. “Why?"

“Henri.”

She cuddled up to him, resting her head on his chest. "Was he unfaithful?"

"Yeah. All the time. I pretended not to notice, but I did."

"Oh, Fao, I'm sorry."

"It's fine. It's not like I really loved him."

She wanted nothing more than to hold him close. "Even so. He accused you of cheating and then did it himself."

"It doesn't matter. I just ought to go get checked. God knows who he fucked. Probably half the hospital."

“I’d say we can go together, but that might be weird.”

"I'd, uh, like a hand to hold?"

She nodded. “Alright. Let me know when?”

"Thanks."

“You know I’ll be there for you,” She said softly, “and I’m sorry I haven’t been lately.”

"It's okay. You're allowed to have a life."

“There’s having a life and being a selfish bitch.” She replied, closing her eyes. He was warm, and it had been so long since they’d laid in bed together. 

"Mmm, no comment."

“I have been and we both know it.”

"At least you got laid."

She shrugged. “Most of then weren’t that good, if I’m honest.”

"Well, I'm sure the good ones made up for it."

“Do we have to talk about it?” She asked. “I feel bad.”

"We can pick another subject if you want. I've still got one stubborn stitch left."

“It’s not gone yet?”

"Not quite. All the others have, just not that one."

She groaned. “That’s such a pain.”

"I know. Almost cut it out myself earlier."

“Please don’t do that.”

"I won't. I think it's just a bit stuck on something."

She laid her arm over his torso. “If you get an appointment soon you can ask the GP to have a look."

"It's fine, it's just taking it's time. If it gets gross I'll go, you know that."

“Mmm, good. But I gotta look after you again.”

"Ah, I'm alright. The others didn't go all that long ago anyway. I heal slow, it's the smoking."

She still frowned, unsure if he could see. “I still gotta. Need to make it up to you.”

"You can cook me breakfast in the morning, then." He replied, taking off his glasses and reaching to put them down on the side, along with his book, before he flicked the light out.

“Mmm, okay.”

"Thanks."

“I’ll try not to start a fire.”

"Please don't."

Carefully, she draped a leg over his. “I’ll try not to. Though I could just give you cereal.”

He sighed. "That's not a proper breakfast."

“You never said it had to be a proper breakfast.” She replied, unable to resist sliding her hand under his top to rest on his stomach. His abs were hard, strong under her fingertips. 

"It was implied." He told her. 

“Mmm, I guess so.”

"You're very tactile this evening." He commented softly.

She looked up, and could barely see him in the dark. That was good, because she blushed and started to pull away. “Sorry. I’m just used to cuddling after....” she trailed off. It wasn’t like they’d fucked. He’d never want to. 

"It's okay, I don't mind. I like it." He murmured. "But no sex, eh?"

“No sex.” She agreed, pushing her feelings down. He obviously wasn’t ready for a relationship, and wouldn’t be for a while. Besides, why would he ever want her? She was just a friend, and that was what they would remain. 

"Good. But don't stop the cuddles, they're nice."

She moved back over to him, resting her head on his chest again. “I should have asked first. Sorry.”

"It's fine."

“If you say so.”

"It is. I swear."

“I don’t want to intrude.” She murmured. 

"I'd tell you if I wasn't comfortable, you know that."

“Yeah, I do. You know I worry too much.”

“You do, I’m fine.”

She didn’t reply, but perhaps pressed a little closer. She’d never felt as comfy as she did in bed with him. 

He hummed, a hand reaching over to play with her hair. “Should we do something tomorrow?”

“I’d like that.”

"If you're free?"

“Yeah, I am. Sorry I went and fucked someone after work.” She really did want to spend time with him, but knowing he’d never feel the same made every moment bittersweet. 

"It's fine. You're entitled to fuck whoever you want."

She shrugged, turning against him a little more, just to breathe in the smell of him. “You must think I’m a right whore.”

"I was worse at university."

“Okay.” She replied. 

"It's really fine."

“I still can’t apologise enough. I know it hurt you.”

"It was hard, yeah."

She sighed. “But we can definitely do something together tomorrow.”

"That would be nice."

“We can decide tomorrow. ‘M tired.”

"Yeah. Sleep in."


	39. Chapter 39

She fell asleep pretty quickly, despite the guilt. She always slept very well after a hookup, even if it was going to be the last one. But she was woken early, the room still dark, by the familiar ringtone of Fao’s phone. 

Fao woke, confused, and reached out for his phone. The clock next to his bed showed it was about 6 that morning, though he didn't look at the number before he answered. 

"Hello?" He asked, voice thick.

Ely pressed closer to Fao, squeezing her eyes shut to try fall back to sleep. She couldn’t tell what the words were on the other end of the phone.

“Is this Faolan Blackwood?”

He didn't recognise the voice. "Yes, speaking."

“I’m very sorry to tell you this, but your partner, Henri Lécuyer, was involved in a high speed collision late last night. We’ve done our best, but he hasn’t pulled through.”

"He's... He's dead?" Fao said, voice wavering. 

“He is, I’m very sorry.”

"Oh my god... Where is he?"

“He’s at the Royal London. You’re welcome to come and see him, though I understand this will be hard for you.”

"I'm on my way." He said quickly, getting out of bed. "Thank you."

“You’re welcome. I’ll let the reception know you’re on your way.” The line cut out then and Ely stirred.

“Where you goin’?”

"Royal London. It's... It's Henri." Fao told her, putting his phone down and flicking the light on as he got dressed, leaning on one crutch as he grabbed jeans and an oversized jumper. 

She groaned. “Want me wit’ you?”

"Uh, please. He's.... He's dead."

She stared at him. “What?”

"He's dead." He repeated, his voice cracking. 

Ely sat up, sliding across the bed to him. “Are you okay?”

"I don't know."

She stood up. “I’ll get changed. Where are we going?”

"The Royal London. It's Whitechapel."

“Alright. Call a taxi while I dress?” She really didn’t want to go see Henri’s dead body, but Fao needed her. 

"Yeah." He replied, sitting down to pull on some socks, reaching for his phone. 

She kissed his cheek and walked back around the bed. There was no time to shower, so she quickly got changed. Once she was done, she moved back to sit by his side, in silence.

He called a cab with shaking hands, and was told it would be about 15 minutes. Now they just had to wait, so he got up and made his way to the bathroom, downing his painkillers with a quick gulp of water. 

Ely wasn’t sure what to say. 

“Do you want a coffee?”

"We don't have time. It's fine."

“I have a travel cup you can use.” She murmured. 

"I feel kinda sick. It's fine."

“Okay.” She said. “I’m here for you.”

"I don't know how to feel. He's dead, he's gone. Crashed his car."

“It’s hard, I know. We don’t have to stay long. You were his emergency contact?”

"The person on the end of the phone called him my partner. Guess he never changed the forms or whatever."

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.” She said softly. 

"I want to go. I need to."

“Okay. Then I’ll come with you.”

"You don't have to."

She shrugged. “I want to support you.”

"Alright."

His phone pinged. “That’ll be the taxi.”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

She stood up and offered him a hand.

He took it, getting up and grabbing his crutches and heading down to the taxi.

Ely followed him slowly, kissing Arrow on the head before she left. She was silent as they got into the taxi, and it took them forever to reach the hospital, even with the time. 

Fao was very quiet in the taxi, trying to process everything before they arrived. He didn't know what to do, how to feel. He didn't know what to say to Ely, so just stayed quiet, waiting for them to arrive. He wasn't sure what he'd do when they reached the hospital, but he'd work something out. It just felt so strange, he felt almost disconnected from his body

When they arrived, Ely paid the driver, helped Fao out and then lead him inside. She spoke to the receptionist, who directed them to the morgue, and there they met the doctor that had spoken to Fao. After each of them had shaken his hand, he turned to business. 

“I am going to warn you - Henri suffered extensive, severe injuries. If you wish to leave, you’re free to do so at any moment. This way, please.” He lead them to a table covered in a white cloth, and turned it back to reveal a very dead looking Henri. 

Fao knew he should be relieved. Henri was dead, he'd never have to worry about him hurting him ever again. But there he was, lying dead in the morgue. Fao's throat tightened, and his vision swam with tears. It was a mix of emotions. Grief, guilt, relief, but he turned to Ely and couldn't help but cry, totally overwhelmed.

Ely wrapped her arms around him, holding him close. It was a lot to take in, and she just wanted to help him. 

After a while, Fao pulled himself together and stopped the tears, sniffing as he pulled away from Ely. He turned to the doctor, clearing his throat.

"How did he die? Was it bleeding?"

He nodded. “Yes. Severe internal bleeding. Most of his organs were damaged."

"Were you able to get him to theatre? Was that where...."

"It was. We tried our best."

"T-thank you."

The doctor nodded solemnly. "You're welcome. Would you like me to give you some time alone with him?"

"Please."

The doctor left, and Ely squeezed Fao's hand. "Do you want me to go too?"

"I dunno."

"Why don't I stay for now, and then leave for a little bit?"

"Yeah, sounds good." He murmured, reaching for the chair nearby. He sunk down onto it, sighing, trying not to cry again.

Ely squeezed his shoulder gently. "I'll be just outside. Take as long as you need." She murmured, and slipped away.

Alone, he felt cold. The room was far too quiet, Henri's body too still. Fao sucked in another deep breath, and then forced himself to speak. 

"You screwed up, Henri. I knew you'd always do something stupid, only thinking of yourself. Were you drunk? I bet you were drunk. How many times did I beg you not to drive drunk? I hope to God you only hurt yourself. You were a bastard, you really were. I'm gonna have your scars forever, those memories. A part of me loved you, y'know. A stupid, sappy part of me that didn't know any better. In those four years you kept me vulnerable so you could control me. Fuck you, because I lived and you died. You idiot. I'm glad you're dead, but you've left me to fix everything. Cunt."

Ely came back in after about ten minutes, moving slowly and touching her fingers to his arm. "Doing okay?"

"Yeah, ish."

"Want to stay longer?"

He shook his head. "Wanna go. Need to talk to his parents. And.... And find out if he hurt anyone else."

“Alright.” She said softly. 

He stood up, sighing. "Thank you for coming with me."

“You know I’ll support you in anything.”

"Thank you anyway."

She shrugged. “You’re welcome.” She said, and leaned over to cover Henri’s face again. 

He headed out, sucking in a deep breath as he left. He pulled the sleeves of his jumper over his hands, before he found the doctor to ask if Henri's family had been informed, and if anyone else had been injured in the accident.

The doctor shook his head. “You were the emergency contact. No one else was injured, he veered off of the road and crashed into a lamppost - I don’t know how fast he was going, but no one else was injured.”

Fao nodded slowly, taking it in. He'd need to call Henri's mum, then. She needed to know. He hummed to himself, glancing down, and then he headed outside to make a phonecall that he really didn't want to make. 

It was cold outside, and he shivered as he dialled the number, wishing he had a jacket. 

Henri’s mother picked up after three rings. 

“Faolan?” She said, voice thick with sleep. “It’s terribly early.”

"I'm sorry to be calling you, Ms Lécuyer, but I, uh, have some bad news."

“Bad news?”

"It's Henri..." Fao's voice cracked. "He was in an accident."

“Oh my. Is he alright? Which hospital is he at? I’ll come right away.”

"He... He didn't make it. I'm sorry. He passed away early this morning." He said, struggling to get the words out. "He's... He's at the Royal London Hospital."

“I’ll come over.” Her voice shook. “And I’ll tell his father. Would you mind starting on the... the funeral?”

"I need to find his...his will. Can we talk when you arrive?"

“Of course we can.”

"T-thank you. I'm so sorry to have called you like this."

“It’s appreciated. I’ll see you soon.”

"See you soon. Drive safely."

"I will do." Henri's mother replied, and hung up.

Fao pocketed his phone and exhaled heavily, leaning against the wall to take the weight off of his hips. He was dying for a cig, but he didn't have any. He had no idea if Ely would, but he slipped inside to find her and ask. Anything would do. 

She was waiting inside, having bought him a coffee and a tea for herself. She looked up at movement. 

“I got you this.” She said quietly. 

"Have you got any cigs?" He asked hoarsely.

Ely nodded. “Yeah. They’re menthols, though.”

"I don't care. Lighter?"

She pulled out the one she'd used before, one of Fao's, and passed it over. "Do you want me to come outside with you?"

He shook his head. He just wanted to be alone for a while, before Henri’s mum arrived. He’d have to act as though they were still together, not that he was living with Ely. He took the lighter and a cigarette from Ely and pocketed them, heading back outside. 

Ely let him go. She'd thought he'd be happy - God knew she was - but it looked more complicated than that. She could give him his space, he'd come back to her when he was ready.

Outside in the cold, Fao smoked the borrowed cigarette and tried to pull himself together. The nicotine helped, and his hands stopped shaking as he leaned against the wall. He was aching, despite the painkillers he’d taken. Having smoked, he returned to Ely, and took the coffee from her before he sat down, putting his crutches aside and stretching his legs out. 

“His parents are coming.”

She nodded. "Do you want me to stay?"

“I don’t know.”

"Will things be easier to explain if I go?"

“Maybe, but I don’t want to do this alone.”

She hummed. "Then I can stay. I'm a friend, after all."

“Yeah. I’m really sorry for doing this to you.”

Ely shook her head. "You've got nothing to apologise for."

“You hated him, this must suck.”

"So?" She asked. "You're my friend."

“I feel bad.” He replied, sipping his coffee.

"You shouldn't."

"I think I’m gonna have to do a lot of the funeral planning. His parents have no idea we broke up.”

She sighed. “You could tell them. There’s no reason you have to do it.”

"I don't think I can. They've just lost their son."

She nodded. “Okay. As long as you’re okay with it.”

"I'll manage."

“I’m here for you.”

He nodded, and sipped his coffee. It was going to be a very long day. When Henri's parents arrived his mother looked concerned that Fao was on crutches, but as soon as he brushed it off she left it alone. His father didn't say much, and Fao left them to it with a promise to meet with them at some point to discuss the funeral plans. The Lécuyers said they'd set about informing family, whilst Fao would tell their friends and colleagues. He'd get an email sent round at work, and there were some mutual friends he'd ring. They headed home after a while, Fao still exhausted and in pain. He needed sleep and he needed time to process this. Henri had left no instructions for his funeral, so they were completely on their own, and Fao spent a lot of time over the next week with Henri's parents, trying to arrange everything.


	40. Chapter 40

Fao was back relatively late one night, and as soon as he was in bed he was pouring over paperwork for all sorts of things, seeing how much money would need to come out of the estate amongst other things. They'd finally set a date, so now it was a task to inform everyone of the time and location. 

Ely was sat next to him, reading his battered crime novel with Arrow laid between her legs, his head on her thigh when Fao came home. She let him work in silence for a while, and then spoke. 

“You shouldn’t have to do all this.”

"It's fine, it doesn't bother me."

“You weren’t together.”

"We were for four years."

She shrugged. “He abused you, and you’d broken up. You shouldn’t feel you have to organise his funeral.”

"So what do you suggest? I tell his mum we broke up and she asks why. I can't tell her 'oh by the way your son was an arrogant cunt who abused me for years' and then just fuck off! She might as well bury her son thinking he was a good man."

She sighed. “Alright. I’m just worried about you, you know what I’m like.”

"It'll be over soon."

She leaned over to her pack of cigarettes, holding one between her lips. “It will. Did you see a solicitor?”

"Yeah, they're sorting the will. They're reading it on... Wednesday." He murmured. "I doubt I'll get much, he hardly valued me. When I left him he probably wrote me out of everything anyway. I'm tempted not to bother going."

“If you’re intent on not telling his parents you broke up, you should go.”

"Yeah, I know. Just seems like a pointless exercise."

“I guess. Gets you out of the house, though.” She said. 

"Yeah. Shame I can't drive."

“I know.”

He sighed, turning back to his work. He was adding things up and comparing quotes from funeral directors and caterers and wake venues. He'd promised Henri's parents he'd try and make a decision. After a moment, he shifted uncomfortably in bed. 

"Ely, can you get me a heat pack?" He asked her, not looking up.

She hummed in reply. "Sure. Think I need one anyway."

"You okay?"

She nodded. "Just my period, I'm used to it."

"If you say so."

She offered him a smile as she got out of the bed. "If it was really bad I'd be milking it."

"Alright."

She hurried off downstairs, heating up her wheat bag first and then one for Fao. When she returned, her cigarette still held between her lips, she passed him his and wiggled back under Arrow, who let out a breath like a sigh.

"Thanks." He murmured, distracted. 

Ely took her cigarette out, and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "It's late. You won't get anything else done today."

“I need to make a decision on the caterer. And how we’re gonna arrange the bar.”

"You can do it tomorrow."

“I’m meeting Martha tomorrow.”

She sighed, putting the book down and sliding further under the duvet. "It's still late. Staring at everything at this time of night won't help."

“I need to fix it.”

"Well, 'm gonna sleep." She said, closing her eyes.

“Alright. Goodnight.” He told her, carrying on working, pen scrawling over paper.

"Don' be too long.”

“I can’t promise anything.”

"Nighttime is the worst time to do shit.”

“Well I’m doing it. You know I don’t sleep.”

She huffed, pressing closer to him. "You should do.”

“I don’t. I never have done."

"You sound like a vampire.”

“Maybe I am.”

She laughed against his leg. "No you're not. You'd have tried to suck my blood by now.”

“Maybe I’m just resisting because we’re friends. It’s why I’m so broody.”

"Well, if you really are a vampire, feel free.”

“To drink your blood? Freak.”

She laughed, rolling onto her back and peeling her eyes open. "So you're not really a vampire.”

“I don’t wanna drink your blood.”

"Then don't say you're a vampire." She teased. "Come cuddle?”

He huffed. “Five minutes, I’m busy.”

"Five minutes.”

He hummed. “Five minutes.”

She closed her eyes again, content to wait for him. It was so late, he wouldn't be able to focus.

In the end, the numbers stopped making sense to Fao, and his put his notebook down with a heavy sigh, and curled up next to Ely.

She sighed happily. "I knew you couldn't resist.”

“You’re too sweet.”

"Of course I am.”

“Irresistible.”

Ely smiled to herself, rolling over and pressing her back against his front. "Mmm, good. You'll spend time with me.”

He shifted more onto his side, throwing an arm over her waist, playing with the hem of her shirt. “Yeah. I’ll get there.”

"You will. You're amazing.”

“This is hard. I just feel like I ought to do more… This is all my fault.”

She frowned to herself. "It's not your fault at all.”

“I bought him the car…”

"So?" She said. "You weren't driving it. It was his own fault.”

“It was the car that killed him. He never should have had it.”

“It was his driving that killed him. It wasn’t the car, or you.”

“I can’t help but think, though."

“I know.” She said, rolling over. “But it was him being an idiot as usual.”

His fingers splayed over her stomach, humming. "I guess."

“It was. You’re not responsible."

"Can't help but feel it."

“I know. But you’re not, and I’ll keep saying it until you believe it.”

"Oh of course you will."

She smiled, tucking her head under his chin. “Because you’re amazing, and Henri was a cunt.”

"He was. I even said that the other day to him."

“Good.”

“When I was with him in the morgue."

She hummed, breathing deeply. “At least you told him. And he’ll never hurt you again.”

“He won’t. Just his mother’s indecision.”

“Either way, you have me. Until you kick me out of your house.”

"I'm never gonna kick you out of the house."

“Mmm, you might. When you meet the person of your dreams.” Though she night be long gone by then. There was only so long she could hang on for before it all got too much. 

"It's our house, Ely. I'm gonna be single for ages. You're more likely to meet the person of your dreams first."

She had done, she just couldn’t tell him. “It’s not like I’m on the look out, is it?”

"We'll both find a solution. But for now it's our house."

“Mmm, okay.”

"So you better not abandon me."

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” She replied. 

"Good."

Comfortable in his arms, Ely was asleep not much later. She wasn’t sure why she’d continued to sleep in bed with in, but he wasn’t complaining. Neither was she. 

He was gone when she woke up in the morning, and she assumed it was to see Henri’s mother. He must have gotten everything sorted, because he didn’t stay up that night pouring over venues. She was at work when he went to see the solicitor, and when she came home he told her he’d gotten everything. She couldn’t help but laugh.


	41. Chapter 41

Then the funeral came around. She didn’t really want to go, but she went for Fao. He didn’t have a choice, after all, and she wanted to be there for him. Secretly, she knew she’d be celebrating he was gone. 

She took a seat a couple of rows back, and she could see Fao sat at the front with Henri’s family. If she was honest, she didn’t pay attention to much of the service. 

It took a lot of hard work to get to the funeral. Lots of sleepless nights and shouting matches, and Henri's family were less than impressed that Fao was getting the entire estate. After a quick search of the house, Fao took the few things he wanted and let the family have it and the contents - he pretended it was all just too overwhelming. It wasn't technically a lie, it was just overwhelming in a different way. 

But the funeral finally came around, and Fao was at the front beside Henri's mother. It was awkward, he felt so claustrophobic, but he just had to put on a brave face. He'd declined doing a reading, saying he'd be too emotional, and in truth he was. It wasn't entirely grief, however. 

Once the service was done and Henri was in the ground, Fao felt a little lighter. All he had to do was make it through the wake and it would be over. It was going to be hard, though, schmoozing with Henri's friends and family for hours. Being on crutches made things even harder, and he was aching after a couple of hours, but at least he had Ely. Not that he'd seen a lot of her. 

She’d found a seat at the bar. This was good, because it was a free bar and she could down drink after drink. It was bad too, though, because it meant people tried to talk to her. Currently, some old woman was talking about how great he was, and she couldn’t stand it. Quickly, she drained her glass of gin and tonic and walked away. She had to weave through people, but it gave her the chance to pick up an abandoned bottle of wine as she searched for Fao. She found him soon enough, and offered him the bottle. 

“Got you this.” She said, her voice slightly slurred. She hopes he wouldn’t notice her swaying. 

"Don't be ridiculous, Ely. I can't drink on these painkillers." He snapped.

She frowned at him. “You can have a lil’ bit.”

"No, I can't. I've got far better things to do, and even if I was drinking I wouldn't be drinking from some gross half-drunken bottle of lukewarm pinot grigio." He told her. "Are you drunk?"

She shook her head. “No. Jus’ a little bit merry. Celebrating his life and all that.”

"You're drunk. Jesus, I didn't think I'd have to deal with this today. Go and get yourself some water, for Christ's sake."

“I’m fine.” She said. “Gonna get some food. Want anything?”

"No. Eat and get some water and go and sit down somewhere quiet."

She huffed, but wandered off to get some food. She left behind the wine, and piled her plate high with sandwiches and other nibbles. She’d eaten half of it when she went to find Fao again, and wordlessly held out a square of cheese on a toothpick. 

He rolled his eyes. "You're like a toddler, Jesus. What do you want now?"

“You should eat. I couldn’t remember what you liked....”

"Not that. I've had a bit of food, I'm just not exactly that hungry right now."

“Oh.” She said. “Want a drink?”

"No."

“Kay. I’m gonna get one. Least I have Arrow.” People kept trying to pet him, so if she could find somewhere they could both hide, that would be great. Then she could really celebrate. 

"Yeah, be careful."

“I’m fine.” She stressed. “Gonna get wine. An’ gotta look grumpy.” She pulled her best grumpy face. 

"Get water, and just look normal." He told her.

“Don’ wanna talk to people. Stupid kids keep trying to touch him.” She said, clumsily patting his hand. “Sit down.”

"He's a service dog, tell them to sod off. I can't sit down, I'm doing stuff. I've got people to talk to."

“You should rest.” She said sourly. 

"Later. Come on, let's get you some water." He said, leading her over to the bar, where he pushed her into a nearby chair and ordered her a glass of water. "Drink."

She huffed, nibbling on the cheese. “I’m fine. Jus’ celebrating.” Her voice dropped for the last two words. 

"Shut up." He snapped. "Don't. At least have some decency around his family!"

“They all think ‘m really sad. I can cry, look.” She said, trying hard and screwing her face up. Her eyes watered and a single tear fell. 

"Stop it!" He said, smacking her on the leg with a crutch. 

“Ow!” She exclaimed, rubbing her shin. “That hurt!”

"Good."

“Haven’t done anythin’ wrong.”

"I asked you to come to support me, not show me up!" He hissed. "Stay here, and drink that water." He told her before he left.

She wasn’t showing him up. Pouting, she did as she was told and drained the glass, and spent some time nibbling on food and stroking Arrow until some of Henri’s family saw fit to talk to her. 

“He was lovely,” she lied loudly, “a star. Worked with him a few times. Had to tell him off once, that’s my job. Telling surgeons off.” She grinned, swaying a little in the seat. 

The conversation continued. She hiccuped. “He was arrogant. Hit me once - used to hit Fao a lot.” Her eyes widened as she realised what she’d said. “Sure it was just sex, y’know?”

Fao was deep in conversation with Henri's grandmother when he heard Ely. She was loud, and very drunk, and he quickly apologised to the older woman before he left, getting to Ely as quickly as he could. 

"What on earth are you going on about?!" He snapped, and then turned to Henri's parents. "I'm so so sorry about this, she's taken the open bar a little too literally. I think she's just upset, I'll call a cab for her. Henri never hit me, and he never hit her either. He was the love of my life. Ely, get up."

She frowned, but took Arrow’s lead and stood. “It was lovely to meet you.”

"Out. Now."

She followed him through the throng and outside, where she leaned against the wall and tried to light a cigarette. She failed. 

"You're really trying to have a smoke right now?" He asked, reaching for his phone to order her an Uber. 

“So? I can smoke if I want!”

He scoffed, and reached over to light it for her. "There. Shut up."

She huffed, and took a long drag. “I didn’t mean to.”

"But you did. And now I have to deal with everything. I can't believe you're my biggest issue today."

“I’m sorry.” She said honestly. 

"You should be." He snapped. 

“I didn’t mean to. It jus’ slipped out. You used to tell me it was sex bruises.”

"You fucked everything up, Ely! I have some serious explaining to do now!" He hissed. "I'm going back inside. Get yourself home and drink some water. We'll talk later."

"Okay." She said, looking at the floor.

He huffed and stalked away, heading back inside, to find Henri's mum and explain everything. 

Her Uber came and she all but fell into it, slurring the address and settling back against the seat. She handed over probably too much money and staggered out - Arrow was keeping her upright, apparently. It wasn't until she got in she realised how sick she felt, and she barely made it to the toilet. There she stayed, her cheek pressed against the cool porcelain.

Fao spent a long while explaining to Henri's family that it had all been a drunken misunderstanding and that Henri's death had been shocking and people were struggling with it. He didn’t like lieing, but it was better than the truth. He stayed until everyone had left, settled the bar tab, and then got a taxi home. He was still fuming at Ely's behaviour, and wanted a serious word with her. But the house was quiet and he'd not been greeted by the dog. 

"Ely?!" He called, slipping out of his coat and suit jacket carefully.

Arrow was next to her, and she groaned. “Upstairs.”

He carefully made his way upstairs, discarding the jacket and coat in the bedroom before he made his way into the bathroom. 

"Well done." He said harshly. "Bet you're feeling really good now."

She squeezed her eyes shut, not daring to move. The world would spin and she’d be sick again. “Don’t. Jus’ say what you’re gonna say.”

“I’m so fucking disappointed and disgusted by you today!” He shouted, crossing to open a window. “I asked you there for support, to keep me company whilst I lied through my teeth, and all you did was drink yourself stupid and embarrass me! Henri’s mum was shocked at the fact you’d even suggest he hit me! I had to cover it up, pretend it was all a misunderstanding! Do you know how hard that was for me? I don’t suppose you did, because all you were thinking about was yourself! You sat there and drank and talked shit all afternoon! You’re just as bad as he was!”

Ely just let his words and anger wash over her, spitting occasionally into the toilet bowl. But it was the way he ended that caught her attention, and she forced herself to move. She must have looked pathetic, an absolute mess, but she still set her jaw and stared up at him, trying not to be sick. 

“How dare you say I’m as bad as him!” She exclaimed. “I’ve stood by you, I knew what he was doing when you wouldn’t admit it! I know it was hard but I didn’t mean to get so drunk!”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t have been drinking in the first place! You embarrassed me, made me look a fool! That’s exactly what he used to do!”

“The difference is he meant to do it, he wanted to belittle you! I didn’t mean to!”

“I don’t care! Your behaviour was absolutely disgusting for a funeral, regardless of who’s funeral it was.”

“Well, I’m sorry. Maybe I’ll end up with alcohol poisoning and be out of your hair.” She lurched to her feet, hands on Arrow’s harness to steady herself. 

“Jesus, be careful.” He snapped. “And take a bowl to bed, you’ll be throwing up all night.”

“I’m fine! I won’t bother you, don’t worry.” She said, taking one look at him and doing her best to stride out, her spare hand on the wall. She sure as hell wouldn’t be sleeping in the same bed as him - no doubt he’d kick her out anyway. So she went to her old room, struggled to get changed and all but fell into bed. 

Once he’d showered and cleaned the bathroom, he slipped into Ely’s room and put an old washing up bowl by her bed, just in case. He didn’t want to clean the sheets after she’d thrown up all over them. After that, he settled in bed and started to read, unable to sleep. At least after today it was all over.


	42. Chapter 42

Fao did sleep in the end, though he tossed and turned the whole night. In the morning, he woke and began cooking breakfast, heedless of how hungover Ely would be. She deserved to feel rough.

She woke to him going down the stairs, his crutches loud against the wood. After that, she could hear him banging the pans about, and she groaned. She was sick again, too, but after half an hour or so decided she needed to get up, if only to choke down some toast. She didn't even know why she wasn't in his room like normal - she couldn't remember much at all from the night before.

Slowly, she made her way downstairs, feet shuffling along, and she was rubbing her head as she walked into the kitchen.

He didn’t look up to acknowledge her, just carried on cooking, his crutches propped up against the counter as he worked, able to use his hands more easily. He was fine so long as he didn’t move, or leaned on the counter if he needed to. He continued to ignore Ely, sipping his tea.

She shot him a look, but pulled a slice of bread from the bread bin and pushed it into the toaster. While it was in there, she let out a long breath.

"What happened yesterday?" She asked. "I don't remember coming home.”

He scoffed. “Of course you don’t.”

She frowned. "You're in a mood.”

“You got pissed at the wake.” He said sharply.

"I guessed that! C'mon, talk to me.”

“No! You embarrassed me yesterday. We had this discussion as you retched into the toilet.”

She groaned, resting her back against the counter. "I want to make this better. Please, tell me what the hell I did.”

“What didn’t you do? I don’t want to have this conversation.”

"Well, I want to get back to normal.”

He sighed, leaning against the counter. “Well, you were drunk and loud, were being childish and to top it all off you blabbed to all of Henri’s extended family that he used to hit me. I poured you into a cab and sent you home.”

She started at him. "What? Oh my god, I'm so sorry.”

“You should be. I spent the entire afternoon apologising for your behaviour. You were there for support, to keep me company, and you completely showed me up.”

"I don't remember anything after my third drink." She said softly. "I can't apologise enough, really.”

“I honestly can’t believe the way you acted.”

"I don't know how to make this better.”

“God knows. Apologise to Henri’s parents, for starters?”

She nodded. "I will do. But how can I make it better for you?”

“I don’t know.”

Ely sighed heavily. "Okay. I don't want to fall out with you, you're my best friend."

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you got pissed."

"I know. I don't know why it hit me so much more than usual." Her toast popped out of the toaster and she reached for it to butter it.

"Because you hadn't eaten, that's why."

"Maybe."

"Of course it is. The gin was probably strong." He replied, finishing with his food and moving to sit and eat it, kind of ignoring her.

She closed her eyes, breathing deeply for a moment. "I just can't do anything but say sorry."

"Evidently."

She couldn't help it. "Well, what else am I supposed to do?! I did something stupid, and I want to put it behind us!"

"Let me be mad for a while."

"Fine." She snapped. "Be mad about it all you want, it was a bloody argument!"

"Well I'm going to be mad! It was horrendously embarrassing yesterday."

"Whatever. It's over with now."

"Yeah, for you. Because you don't remember any of it."

She rolled her eyes, nibbling on her toast. "It's not like you ever have to have anything to do with his family anyway!"

"That's not the point!"

"I know it isn't! But having a go at me isn't going to change anything, is it?"

"Makes me feel better, though!"

She threw what was left of her toast in the bin - what little appetite she'd had had disappeared. "Whatever. You obviously don't want me around."

"Frankly after what you did yesterday, you're right. Why don't you go and take the dog out? I'm sure the fresh air will do you both some good."

"I don't understand why you're still defending that cunt," she snarled over her shoulder, "he doesn't deserve it, and he didn't deserve a funeral. Not one that you had to organise. He's still controlling you!”

“He’s six foot under! He’s not controlling me anymore! I’m just not keen to have my dirty laundry aired at a wake."

"Well, it was a fucking accident and I said sorry!”

“Oh, yeah, we’re all sorry!”

"Fuck off!" She shouted, storming upstairs to get changed.

“I would if I could!” He yelled back, getting up to tidy his plate and head to the living room, settling on the sofa with his feet up. Ely could have a strop if she wanted to, but he wasn’t going to entertain it. She was in the wrong.

She got changed in just a couple of minutes, throwing her pyjamas down in a messy heap by the door. As she pulled on her shoes, she ordered an Uber, and then collected her bag, with toys for Arrow and some doggy bags. Then, without a word of goodbye, she left the house and got into her taxi to the Isabella Plantation.

Twenty minutes later, she'd paid the driver and was in the park. It felt like she was out in the country, in the middle of nowhere. The air was full of birdsong and the ponds and lakes looked tranquil in the sun. It wasn't too busy, and her head started to clear, both of anger and her hangover. Arrow enjoyed his time off of the lead, not working, and he jumped into the water a few times.

That was until she misstepped and tripped. With the loss of balance, and a sharp, intense pain in her ankle, she went rolling down the bank, where her phone broke against a large rock and her hair collected leaves. For a moment she stared up at the cloudless blue sky, until her service dog's barking jolted her and his wet muzzle pressed against her cheek. She pushed him away and sat up, brushing out her hair with her fingers. When she stood, she found she couldn't put weight on her ankle. Even so, she limped up the small hill and then started to make her way out of the park, cursing her ill luck. She'd banged her head in the fall, and a headache was making a comeback. Not to mention her phone was all but shattered, so she couldn't ring for help.

Thankfully, she found an old couple five minutes from the entrance, and they saw her limping and immediately made her sit. They didn't have a car, but they insisted on ringing a taxi for her to take her to the closest hospital. Luckily for her, St. George's was too far away, and instead she had to go to Kingston. At least none of her colleagues would see her.

She sat in A&E for three hours until she was called through, and even then, it was more than an hour and half until she had an x-ray.

Fao heard the door slam as Ely left and rolled his eyes, reaching for his laptop. He wanted to do a bit of work while he could. He ended up pissing about on facebook and watching a film, and when it had finished it occurred to him that he wasn’t sure where Ely was. He figured she’d just taken a long walk with the dog, and settled down to start binging the tv show Ollie had mentioned to him the other day. He’d told Ely they’d watch it together, but now he was in a mood and he’d watch it on his own. But time dragged on and he reached for his phone to ping Ely a text. And then a couple more.

Fao [11:30]: _Long walk with the dog?_

Fao [12:15]: _Ely?_

Fao [12:35]: _I know you’re mad but seriously this is taking the piss_

Fao [14:00]: _Where the fuck are you? What’s going on?_

Fao [15:30]: _I’m getting worried now_

After none of his messages being read he gave up and rung her, but her phone went straight to voicemail. Either it was off, or dead. He had no idea where the fuck she was, but at least she had the dog with her. Fingers crossed he’d look after her, if nobody else would. He wished he could call her, he really did.


	43. Chapter 43

It was just after four in the afternoon when she unlocked the front door and took Arrow’s equipment off. She’d come home laden with painkillers and her foot and ankle in a boot. 

The moment he heard the door Fao was on his feet, and frowned at the sight of her. 

“Jesus, what happened?! Were you attacked? Did you have a seizure? Are you okay?”

“Oh, so now you’re bothered about me.” She grumbled. 

"You've been gone hours! You weren't answering my texts or calls and you come back in on crutches! What happened?"

She dug her phone out of her pocket and threw it down on the table they had in the hallway. "I tripped, alright? Laugh all you want, it's fucking stupid."

"I'm... I'm not laughing." He said seriously. "Are you alright?"

"What do you think? I've got a broken ankle!"

"You broke your ankle? Oh my god, honey, come sit down, put your feet up. I'll get the dog some more water."

"I'm fine."

"Come on, take the weight off. You must be in agony. Tea?"

"I've been given painkillers." She replied, but she knew she wasn't going to win this. "Alright."

"Good, good. I won't be a minute." He replied, disappearing into the kitchen. He gave the dog some fresh water and made tea for the both of them, though he had to make a couple of trips to bring it into the living room, where he sat beside her. "So, uh, just a simple break? Nothing other than the boot? Or are they gonna readmit you or something?"

"It's a simple break, and I have a doctors note for work."

He nodded. "Guess we're gonna end up spending time together, then."

"Yeah, we are. If I'm not too much of a pain for you.”

“No, of course you’re not. I’ll be off of crutches soon.”

She carefully lifted her leg up onto the coffee table. "You will. And I just got on them.”

“Well, at least you’re living with a pro.”

She shot him a glance. "I guess I am.”

“Not my first rodeo.” He murmured. “Sorry for being a dick earlier."

She shrugged. "I must have deserved it.”

“I was frustrated and didn’t sleep well. I was nasty to you, and I shouldn’t have been.”

"I deserved it, by the sound of it.”

“Well, I’m sorry.”

Ely sighed heavily. "I know. Can we put it behind us?”

“Yeah.”

"Because right now I wanna feel sorry for myself.”

“Let’s just sit on the sofa and feel sorry for ourselves, then.”

Slowly, she shuffled closer to him, and rested her head on his shoulder. "I can't believe I broke my ankle. I just tripped over a hole in the ground and fell down a little hill.”

“You’ve always been daft, but that’s daft even for you. Why weren’t you answering my calls?”

"Didn't you see my phone?" She asked. "It's smashed to bits.”

“No, I was more worried about you. I guess that explains it, then. Shall I order you a new one?”

"No, it's fine, I can buy it myself.”

He passed her his laptop. “If you order it today it’ll arrive tomorrow, hopefully.”

"It's not like it's urgent if we're both on crutches." She pointed out.

“That’s exactly why you should have it.”

She opened the laptop obediently. "Alright, alright.”

He beamed. “Use Henri’s money, this is all his fault.” 

"You sure? You could use it to fuck him over and give it to a charity he'd hate.”

“I’m gonna, but I wanna spend some of it on stupid shit. He’d hate that too.”

Ely laughed. "That's true.”

“So, spend away. There’s a load of money in my bank account.”

"I'll get the most expensive phone I can, then.”

“Yeah, do."

"Mmm, help me choose?" She asked.

“Sure.” He murmured, reaching for his reading glasses.

Now that their argument was behind them, Ely had to admit to herself that she really did like him in reading glasses. There was something about the way he placed them on his nose that she liked, though she'd never tell him. They were friends, and that was all they'd ever be.

"What would you get?"

"Well, you know me. I'm an Apple fan."

"Apple whore." She joked.

"That's me."

She brought up the Apple website. "Most expensive one, yeah?"

"Yeah, go wild."

"I have to admit, it's satisfying to use his money."

"Tell me about it. There's an awful lot of it. I can't believe he gave me everything."

She idly browsed through the different phones. "It's so unlike him."

"I guess he figured I'd die first."

"Probably. Either way, it doesn't matter. You probably wouldn't have to work ever again."

"Ah, but I don't work for the money."

She turned her head to look at him. "You work for the satisfaction of saving lives, yeah?"

"I guess. I just enjoy what I do, it keeps me busy."

"Not that it's doing that right now."

"No, but that's unavoidable."

She was quiet for a little while, browsing and looking at different phone colours. "Am I welcome back in bed tonight?"

"Yeah. I've missed you. I just didn't want you puking all over me."

"Was I puking last night?" She asked.

"Yeah. I came into you retching over the toilet. That's why there was a bowl next to your bed."

"Oh. I've not done that in years."

"Well, you did yesterday. It was gross."

"Thank you for looking after me."

"I'll always look after you."

Her cheeks blushed pink and she turned her attention back to the laptop screen, trying not to chew on the inside of her cheek. But she was flustered, and changed the subject. "iPhone XS?"

"Sure. It's a nice phone."

"Does the gold look slightly pink to you?"

"Vaguely, I guess."

"Mmm, I like pink." She said, and selected the max at 512GB. She'd never need that much, but it was Henri's money and there was no better way for her to insult him than this. He'd always hated her.

"You want the big one? You've got delicate little hands."

"Yeah, because it's the most expensive."

"Fair enough."

She winked at him. "Besides, bigger is better."

"Oh, please."

"It's true!"

"Disgusting."

Ely laughed. "According to Alex, once upon a time you'd have agreed with me."

"Shush."

She huffed playfully, but completed her purchase. "I think that's the most I've ever spent in one go."

"Good. Enjoy it."

"Retail therapy is great."

"It is."

She closed the laptop and awkwardly leaned forwards to put it down on the coffee table. The movement stretched the muscles in her leg, but the burn felt good.

"Have you... have you thought about seeing someone?" She asked quietly.

"What about?"

"About.... everything."

He shrugged. "Not really. That kind of stuff is a waste of time."

“I don’t think it is. It could be good for you.”

"Maybe. I just don't think it's worth it. I don't wanna sit and talk to some quack for hours about my feelings."

“Okay.” She said. “I just hear your nightmares sometimes.”

"They're just nightmares. There's nothing wrong with me."

“Okay.” She wouldn’t push him. 

He sighed softly. "Can't believe you went and broke your ankle."

“I didn’t mean to.”

"I know, I know. You're a daft one."

She rested her head on his shoulder again. “I know. I tripped over a hole and it sent me down a hill.” 

He put an arm around her. "Only you, honestly."

“I’m an idiot. I, uh, walked on it too.”

"Even more of an idiot! How bad was the break?"

She shrugged. “Could have been worse. But I needed to get out of the Isabella plantation.”

"That's where you went?"

“Yeah. Got a taxi there.”

"Ah. It's a nice walk, I've been there once."

“Bet you didn’t trip.”

"For once I didn't injure myself, but I wasn't in a foul mood." He murmured.

“I’m not in a foul mood now.”

"Not any more." He agreed, playing with her hair. He came across a twig tangled in the thick golden strands and couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, Ely. Well done."

She winced as he pulled at her hair. “What have I done now?”

"There's a twig tangled in your hair. Hold on, I'll get it out."

“I fell down a hill.” She whined. 

"I know, I know." He said, carefully untangling the twig from her hair. 

“Bloody nature.”

"You like nature really, don't be grumpy."

“Mmm, you can’t stop me.”

"I can, come here." He said, pulling her closer to hug her properly.

She laughed, letting him cuddle her. "You're a teddy bear."

"You know I am."

"And you give the best hugs."

"I try."

"Nah, you do." She replied. "Sorry if I worried you."

"I just wish I'd been able to call you. I thought you were ignoring me."

Ely turned in his arms, so she was facing him and she could press her face into the crook of his neck. "No. Just broke my phone being daft."

"I was really worried you'd had a seizure or you were laying dead in a gutter somewhere."

"I'm really sorry.”

“It’s alright.”

“I guess I was in a ditch, not a gutter.” She tried to joke. 

“And you weren’t dead.”

“Definitely not,” she said, “you can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“Good.”

“Especially not now that I need you to be my nurse.”

“Well, you’ve got me, crutches and all.”

“Lucky me.” She teased, and sighed happily. 

“Only a couple weeks and I’m off of them.” He told her.

“I’m jealous.”

"If you're that jealous I'll ask Kent to replace your hip, eh?"

She laughed against him. “I’m not jealous about that!”

“Sure? I’ve got a flashy new hip, I’ve heard it’s very popular with the kids.”

“I’m sure!”

“Might get the other one done just for shits and giggles.”

“Don’t.” She whined. “I miss you at work.”

“I miss you too.”

“You won’t miss me any more.”

“No, you’re stuck with me now.”

She carefully took hold of his shirt, as if to pull him closer. “Or you’re stuck with me.”

“Bit of both, perhaps.”

“I don’t know who has the worse deal.”

“You, obviously. I’m a nightmare.”

“No you’re not. You’re my best friend.” She said. 

“Aw, I’m still a pain.”

“No you’re not.”

“I am.”

She kissed his neck. It was rough with stubble, but the faint trace of his aftershave clung there. “You’re not.”

“If you say so.”

“I do.”

“You’re too cute.”

“So are you.” She replied. “And I’ll tell you until you believe it.”

“You’re gonna be saying it a while.”

“And your point is?” She asked. 

“Well, just saying.”

They continued cuddling for a while, before it got late and they headed upstairs. She was about to settle down when she lifted a hand to her hair and found a leaf. Frowning, she reached into her bedside drawer.

He hummed, settling down on the bed beside her. "Here, let me."

"You sure? It's only my hair."

"It'll be easier for me to get all the twigs out."

"Okay." She agreed. "Where do you want me?"

"Mmm, you stay where you are. I'll come sit behind you." He said, moving to sit behind her, one leg either side of her waist. "Brush?"

She passed it back to him. "Are you okay like that?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's a nice stretch, and you're only skinny!"

"Alright, alright!"

He smiled, though she couldn't see, and carefully started to brush through her hair. Without realising, he started to sing under his breath as he brushed it.

Ely hummed. "That's nice. Soothing.”

“Oh. I didn’t even realise I was doing it.”

"You're really good.”

“Thanks.”

She sighed happily, tipping her head back as he brushed her hair. "Don't stop.”

“I won’t.” He replied, slowly combing through her hair as he started to sing again.

He wasn't pulling too hard, gently working out the tangles and whatever was in her hair. His singing was lovely, and she closed her eyes. 

He took his time, making sure every knot and tangle and twig was out. When it was done, he made a soft noise, and then started to carefully french braid it.

"What are you doing now?" She asked softly, leaning against him a little.

“Braiding.”

"Gonna make my hair curly?”

“Can’t promise that, but it’ll be pretty.”

She smiled to herself. "I'm no good at braids.”

“I’ve had a lot of practice."

"Maybe you could teach me.”

“Yeah, I could do.”

“I’m not good enough with my fingers.”

“I’m sure you’re plenty good enough.”

She shrugged. “You’re better. Surgeon’s hands.”

“Says you, who can find a vein on anyone.”

“That’s just practice.”

“So’s this.”

His hands were higher now, brushing the back of her skull, and she let out a long breath that could have been a moan. 

“You enjoying this? I like having my hair braided, it’s convenient for work.”

“Yeah, it’s really nice.”

“I’m glad.”

“You’re really good at everything.”

"That's not true."

“Yeah it is.”

"There's plenty I'm not good at."

She shrugged. “Nothing I’ve seen.”

"Picking boyfriends?"

“Well, I guess. But you’re not to blame for that.” She was sure Henri had been perfectly charming in the beginning. 

"Guess not. I'm also terrible at neurosurgery, it was my worst rotation."

“Oh, come on, that doesn’t count!”

"Still bad at it."

“Fine.” She said. “I’d be no good at any surgery.”

"I'd be terrible at anaesthesia."

“I think your job is harder.”

"Eh, I make your job difficult."

She couldn’t help but laugh. “Not really. The patients make it hard.”

"I'm the one causing all the bleeding."

“Yeah right.”

"Sometimes it's me."

“But mostly it’s not.”

"Mostly I'm trying to stop it."

She smiled. “I know.”

"If you had to pick a surgical specialty, what would you pick?"

She hummed. “I’m not sure.”

"Go on, pick. If I was forcing you to change, where would you go?"

Ely was quiet as she thought about it. It took her a little while before she broke the silence. “Cardiothoracics, I think.”

"Yeah?"

“Yeah. There’s just something about it.”

"It's pretty cool."

“But I like my current job.”

“Yeah. You’re good at it.”

She beamed. “I know. Done with my hair?”

“Almost.” He murmured, finishing the plait and tying it up with a hair tie.

With him done, she was unwilling to move. So she carefully leaned back against him, closing her eyes. 

He wrapped his arms around her, making a soft noise. “Tired?”

“Mmm, yeah. Busy day.” Her painkillers too - they made her drowsy and she’d just taken some before coming to bed. 

“Yeah, real busy. Should we get into bed properly?”

“But I’m comfy.” She whined. 

“I’d carry you if I could.”

She frowned to herself. “You don’t want me to share with you any more?”

“No, I do. But I’d pick up and shove you under the covers myself.”

“I wanna cuddle.” They’d been cuddling all evening, If was nice. 

“We can cuddle in bed, c’mon."

“Ugh, Fine.”

He smiled, pulling back to get up, carefully slipping under the covers and patting the bed beside him.

Ely shuffled, her booted ankle making her clumsy, and shimmied under the duvet. Once there, she cuddled up to her friend and pushed a stray strand of dark hair from his eyes. 

“Mmm, love cuddling you.”

“Love cuddling you too.” She replied softly, unable to stop the warmth that rushed through her. It was bittersweet, because he’d never feel the same as her. 

“You give the best cuddles.”

“You do.” She told him. 

“Nah, you do.”

She looked into his eyes. "I can't win, can I?”

“Nope.”

"You're so stubborn." She complained.

"I'm like a mule."

She let her hand cup his cheek, her thumb near his bottom lip. "You really are."

He smiled, leaning against her touch. "But a very cute mule?"

"Oh, very cute."

He beamed. "So are you."

"I won't even try to argue that, Eeyore."

"Cute nickname."

"I know."

"You're so cute."

She blushed. "Stop it."

"You are!"

"You always tell me."

"Because it's true."

Ely's hand fell from his cheek as she cuddled ever closer to him, choosing not to answer. An answer wasn't needed. Her fingers curled loosely into the neckline of his pyjama shirt as she breathed out softly, finally letting her fatigue take her to comfortable blackness.


	44. Chapter 44

Life was easy for a while. Even spending every hour of the day with each other, their tempers didn't flare too much. If anything, Ely cherished their time together, because soon Fao would be back at work and she'd have the big empty house to herself. It would only be for a handful of weeks, but it would happen nonetheless and she had to admit she wasn't ready.

It was strange, to wake up on the morning that her roommate went back to work to an empty bed. She'd grown used to waking up in his arms, one way or another. In those early hours, when golden light streamed into the room and the world was quiet and still, it was easy to pretend that they were so much more than friends. She didn't know if she'd stirred when his alarm went off, but his spot was long since cool. She rolled into it, wrapping the duvet ever tighter around herself and breathing deeply.

Eventually, she couldn't stay in bed any longer. The house felt eerily like an abandoned town as she opened the bedroom door and nipped to the bathroom before padding down the stairs to the kitchen. They'd had days apart before his surgery, but this felt so much different. Arrow followed her, his claws a rhythmic click on the floor. She let his food soak while she got her own, and then gave him it as she sat down at the breakfast bar.

She had to admit to stealing one of his shirts when she got dressed, and then she busied herself with housework - they'd both neglected it recently. Then she did a little bit of reading on recent research in her field, before she researched a meal to cook. It wouldn't be fair to have Fao cook when he came home, even if he was by far better at it. With some help from Ollie - she spent an hour and a half on the phone to him - she eventually decided on an easy looking recipe that looked filling, something she hoped Fao would enjoy. 

Knowing he'd finish at seven (or he was meant to, but since when did they ever finish on time?) she started to prep at half past five, hoping that she'd be plating up when he walked in. She called Ollie again, asking him for guidance on butternut squash, and then on wine. In the end, he went and bought her a lovely white to go with the meal, and came over to help. He even helped her set the table, though she waited until he was gone to light a candle she'd gotten months ago in the middle of the table. She wasn't meaning to make it romantic, just a cosy night in. 

But Fao didn't come home when she was expecting him. Normally he'd send her a text to let her know he'd finished on the days where she was off, but none came through. Instead, half an hour later, she got one saying he was running late because of a surgery. So she kept the wine in the fridge and the pasta in the oven to keep warm, and settled down on the sofa with the blanket and the dog.

Fao loved spending time with Ely. They got on so well, he was comfortable around her. He helped her around the house with her crutches, even when his were gone, and eventually he was allowed back to work. Kent told him to take it easy, but Fao hardly knew the meaning of the word. 

He was really glad to be back at work, he'd missed it. His shift was long, though, and he was shattered when his pager went off at five. But he rushed into theatre and didn't get out again until half eight. He'd been lucky it was that early. He rushed home, worried about the fact he promised Ely he'd try to be on time. 

He couldn't help the nerves that came as he let himself into the house, even though in his head he knew that she'd never hurt him. But that didn't stop his hands from shaking as he shoved his key into the door. Inside, he shut it behind him, and tossed his keys down on the side. 

"Ely? Sorry I'm late!" He called quietly.

She heard the engine of his car more than she heard him, and stood to go serve their food - it was late, but she hadn’t wanted to eat on her own. But she stuck her head through the living room doorway and saw him in the hall. 

“No problem.” She said softly. “I’ll just serve up dinner.”

"Oh." He said quietly. "I'm late, I'm sorry. Did I ruin things?"

“Not at all. Do you wanna shower first, or eat?”

"I'll eat, I don't w-wanna keep you waiting."

“I don’t mind.”

"No, no. I'll eat."

She moved closer to him, and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "You know I don't mind waiting for you. Work is work." She said, and bustled away into the kitchen. The pasta bake was still hot, and she served it up as neatly as she could (she told herself she wasn't trying to impress him) and carried them to the dining room before she grabbed the wine and poured them a small glass each. She'd started to experiment with not using her crutches, and she wasn't about to increase her trips from one room to the other.

With everything served, she sat down.

"There," she said, "enjoy."

He was stood in the hall for a long while, trying to process the kiss on the cheek and her soft words. Was she just being overly nice because deep down she was angry? He didn't know, but he finally forced himself to move, sitting down at the table. She'd put a lot of work into this, he'd ruined it all by coming in late. He knew he had. The dog wouldn't leave him alone, constantly pressing his nose against him and alerting. He pushed him away and started to eat. It was really good, and he had to admit he was impressed. 

After a couple of mouthfuls, Ely realised she'd forgotten to light the candle. She jumped up, hurrying off to get some matches, and lit it quickly. Then she beamed at Fao.

"Is it nice?"

"Really good." He said quietly, sipping his wine. 

She'd noticed Arrow alerting for him. "I'm not angry, you know. You were doing your job, and you're home now."

"I know, I can't help it."

"I know. But it's okay."

"Sorry."

She reached across the table to take his hand and squeeze his fingers. "You don't have to apologise. Do you like the food?"

"The food is really good."

She beamed. "I'm glad."

"Didn't know you could cook this well."

She looked down at her plate. "Ollie might have helped me."

"Ollie? Did you drag him over?"

"No!" She defended. "I just asked him for some help and he came over on his own. Said something about not trusting me not to burn the house down."

"Is he still here or did he go?"

"He left." She replied. "He, uh, wanted to go see Jacob - the midwife. I think they're probably shagging."

"Oh, probably."

“He was very eager to leave.”

Fao smiled. "Of course. That midwife is gorgeous."

“I know. If he wasn’t will Ollie....” she joked, winking at him. 

“Oh, you’ve missed out there.”

“I know. I’ll survive.”

“You will.”

She sipped her wine. “It’s not the end of the world. I’m glad they’re both happy.”

“Me too. Ollie deserves some happiness.”

“So do you.”

“I have some.”

She smiled again. "Good. You deserve the world."

"Oh, shush."

"No, you do."

"You're such a sap."

She shrugged. "And your point is?”

“It’s too much.”

“Hardly."

“It is! You’re just too sweet.”

She nibbled on her bake. "If you say so."

"I do."

"Do you want some pudding after this?" She asked.

"Have you got any?"

Ely paused. "Uh, there's ice cream in the freezer?”

“Ice cream is good.”

"Mmm, I'll serve it up once we've eaten this. We can cuddle on the sofa.”

“Yeah. How’s your ankle been?”

She shrugged. "Alright. Ollie kept nagging me.”

“Painful?”

Ely shook her head. "Not too much.”

“Good.”

"And I'm glad to have that stupid boot off.”

“You need to be careful, though.”

"I know, I know." She replied.

“You’ll regret it if you’re not careful.”

She drained her wine glass. "I know. Don't worry, I'm being careful. I even sat down to cook.”

“Ah, good.”

"Though you can fuss if you want, I don't mind.”

“I’ll always fuss.”

"I know. It's nice.”

“I care about you.”

To cover her embarrassment, she poured herself another glass of wine. "I know. I care about you too.”

“I really appreciate you making food.”

"I tried my best.”

“It’s really nice.”

"Hardly as good as what you could do."

"No, it's good."

She shook her head. "Still not as good as what you could do. You're amazing at cooking.”

“I try.”

She pushed her plate away, finished with her food. “Done?"

“Yeah, done.”

She stood, carefully keeping her weight mostly on her good ankle, and took both of their plates back to the kitchen, where she rinsed them and put them in the dishwasher.

"Do you want ice cream now, or do you want a wait a while?" She called.

“Wait a while? I think I might shower.”

She nodded to herself, even though he couldn't see her. "Alright. Take as long as you need, you must be exhausted.”

“It’s been a long day.” He agreed, standing up and clearing up the rest of the table. 

"Go on, go shower. You don't have to help me."

"I should help though. You cooked."

"It's fine, you've had a hard day at work.”

“It’s alright. It’s our house.”

Ely smiled. "Alright, but only because I know I can't stop you.”

“I’m unstoppable.”

"Oh, I know that." She said, putting a tablet in the dishwasher and pressing the button to put it on. "But if you don't hurry up I'll lock you out of the bathroom.”

“Please don’t, I’ve been working hard all day.”

She laughed. "You do know there's an ensuite, right?”

“Not the point.”

"Well, I'll take the ensuite then." She decided. "And maybe steal some of your pyjamas again.”

“You always do.”

"They're better than mine," she reasoned. "I should throw them out.”

“Go on, then.”

"You won't mind?”

“Of course not.”

She beamed at him like a child at Christmas. "That'll be my job for tomorrow, then.”

“Go on, then. I’ve got work again.”

“I thought you would.” She said, and went upstairs as fast as she could. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t tired. 

“My rota is gross.” He whined, heading upstairs and into the bathroom to shower.

Ely showered the best she could - it was awkward with her broken ankle - and headed back into the bedroom. She dried off, and then pulled one of Fao’s pyjama tops on. Thank god he wasn’t still stuck at work, because she needed his help to get the trousers on. 

When Fao came back into the bedroom, towelling his hair, it was to find Ely on the bed half dressed. He flushed, trying to ignore how adorable she looked in his shirt.

"Oh, uh, sorry. Didn't mean to barge in on you."

“It’s okay,” she said softly. “Can you give me a hand?”

"Yeah, of course. What's up?"

She gestured to her cast-clad foot. “It’s awkward, I can’t get my foot in the trouser leg properly.”

"Oh, of course." He murmured. "Why don't we take the boot off, so long as you promise not to get up again."

“Okay.”

"I'll put it back on afterwards." He replied, carefully undoing it and taking the boot off. He helped her get her trousers on, and then put the boot back on again. "There."

“Mmm, thank you.”

"You're welcome."

“You’re such a star. Stupid boot.”

"It's not too bad."

She pouted. “It is.”

"It'll be off soon."

“Good. I’m sick of it.”

"So long as you make sure you're not smoking."

She let herself flop back on the bed. “I’m not. Promise.”

"Good. Ollie's always telling me how bad it is for bone healing."

“You can even spy on me.”

"Maybe I will."

She rolled over to face him. “What would you do if I put one in my mouth?”

"Just make sure you didn't light it."

“I won’t. We have a rule about smoking in the house.”

"Exactly."

“And I’m not gonna light it. I’m a good girl.”

"Well, that might be pushing your luck a bit."

“No it’s not!” She insisted. 

"Might be."

“I’m definitely a good girl.”

"I'd have to ask Alex about that."

She winked. “She’s knows I am. I do as I’m told.”

"I'm sure that wasn't the case all the time."

She shrugged. “Maybe I pushed the rules a little bit. Alex liked it when I was bratty.”

Fao laughed. "Of course."

“You know what she’s like. And it was fun to push her buttons.”

"She's fun to mess with."

She patted the mattress. “Come lay down? You must be exhausted.”

He settled next to her, sighing as he got comfortable under the duvet. "Mmm, I am."

“Was it good to be back, though?”

"Really good." He murmured. "Weird, though."

“Without him?” She asked. 

"Yeah. I'm normally worried he's hiding around the corner."

“And he’s not.” She said. “Did you miss me?”

"Yeah, I did."

“That’s cute.”

"We're friends."

“I should hope so.” She joked. 

"So of course I miss you."

She cuddled up to him the best she could. “I’m gonna become a domestic goddess while I’m stuck here.”

"You are?"

“Oh yeah,” she replied with a grin. “Queen of homemaking.”

"Yeah right. You'll burn the house down or injure yourself."

"No I won't. You'll come home tomorrow to a spotless house."

"Or you laying on the floor in agony."

She huffed. "No!"

"Might be."

"I'll be taking my painkillers and using my crutches. I won't be on the floor."

"You never know."

"I won't. I might even be weird and iron the bedsheets."

"Freak."

She laughed. "It's something my Nana did."

"No point, they'll get crumpled immediately."

"Not immediately."

"They will with my fat arse on it."

"You don't have a fat arse."

"I do after so long not in the gym."

She rolled her eyes. "I think you have a great arse."

"You would do, because you're gross."

"How is that gross?!"

"Means you've been staring at my arse."

She shrugged nonchalantly. "And your point is?"

"That's gross."

"You're my friend, I'm allowed to tell you that you're attractive. Besides, sometimes when she was drunk Alex would talk about you. I was just checking she was telling the truth."

"Oh, come off it."

"I'm telling the truth!"

"Yeah, yeah."

She shoved him playfully. "I am. Do you still feel like ice cream?"

"Ooh, ice cream in bed?"

"If I can be arsed moving."

"I like the sound of ice-cream in bed. I can go?"

She hummed, and rolled onto her back. "Alright. It'll probably be rock hard."

"It'll soon warm up." He replied, getting up. 

"I know. Just don't be too long, or I'll fall asleep with all of the duvet." She warned.

"You're a devil for that." He teased, heading downstairs and getting ice cream for the both of them. He returned with the bowls, slipping under the covers again after handing Ely hers. 

She hadn't fallen asleep when he got back, and she leaned against him as she ate. "You must be so tired, I should have gone."

"Oh, it's fine. You're the one hobbling around."

"I guess. At least you forgave me for being a bitch."

"Hard not to forgive someone when they come home on crutches."

She laughed, licking ice cream off of her spoon. “I guess. It must help that I’m adorable, too.”

"That too. You're like a puppy."

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

"Like a golden retriever with puppydog eyes."

“Mmm, I like goldens. You’d be a German shepherd.” She told him, stealing some of his ice cream. 

"Oi! Thieving bastard! Stick to your own bowl!"

“What you gonna do about it?”

"Steal yours back." He replied, reaching over to take some. 

“Well, I don’t mind.”

"I put exactly the same in both, I don't know why you want mine more than yours."

“Yours is better."

"Why?"

“Because it’s not mine.”

"Maybe you should learn to respect boundaries, you little gremlin."

She laughed. “No.”

He nudged her with his shoulder. “Rude.”

"Like you care."

"I do! It's my ice cream!"

She kissed his cheek. "You still don't care, not that much.”

“You’re the worst.”

"Oh, you don't mean that.”

“Maybe I do.”

She rolled her eyes. "No. Otherwise you'd have kicked me out of bed.”

He laughed. “I suppose I’ll forgive you.”

She finished her bowl and slid further under the duvet. “Good.”

“Maybe you can have some more of mine, if you want.”

"I'll get fat.”

“Oh, shush. You’re tiny.”

"You can finish it. I'm jus' gonna cuddle up to you.”

“You can have it if you want it.”

She rolled onto her back, looking up at him. "Mmm, but I'm comfy.”

“Your loss.”

"You could give me a hand…"

“Sit up, and I’ll give you some.”

She pushed herself up, but reclined against the pillows. "Is that alright?”

“I wouldn’t offer if it wasn’t.” He said, holding out his spoon for her.

She wrapped her lips around the spoon, carefully taking the melting ice cream from it.

“Happy now?”

"Mmm, yeah." She said, licking her lips.

“Good. Want the last bit?"

"Yes please.”

He gathered the last of the ice cream on his spoon and held it out for her, a soft smile on his lips.

She took it, trying not to look at him, trying not to flirt. She didn't want to make him uncomfortable, but it was impossible not to meet his eyes.

He flushed red at the eye contact, and when he was done he put the bowl and spoon down, clearing his throat. “I should, uh, go do my teeth.”

She bit her bottom lip. "Uh, yeah. I'll go do mine in the bathroom." She said.

He got up, disappearing into the ensuite quickly to do his teeth, trying to ignore the way Ely had looked at him. Did she want something? He wasn’t ready for that.

She too hurried off, totally embarrassed. What had she done that for? She should have just declined the ice cream, it would have been easier. Instead, she'd fucked things up. She spent too long brushing her teeth, hard enough to make her gums bleed, and padded back to the bedroom. Maybe if she pretending it hadn't happened, so would he.

When he was done and he’d remembered to put his retainers in, he settled back in bed, turned away from Ely’s side of the bed. He really wasn’t sure how to feel.

Ely took a deep breath, and settled down. They didn't need to cuddle all the time, and it was best not to push. So she laid on her side with her back to him, almost entirely hidden under the duvet. Fingers crossed everything would be back to normal in the morning.

He didn’t sleep, curled up on his side all night, stressing about Ely. He liked her, yeah, but the look she’d had in her eyes? It was a lot. Almost desperate, looking up at him. He wasn’t ready for any of that. He wasn’t even sure if he was ready to kiss anyone. Maybe he got a couple of hours, he wasn’t sure, but he was awake when his alarm went off, and he immediately got out of bed and headed straight to the shower. He didn’t want to have to face Ely right now.


	45. Chapter 45

He wasn't so lucky. A major accident on the motorway left him with his hands full almost all day, with virtually no time to eat, let alone catch up on sleep. It kept him busy, so he wasn't constantly thinking about how terribly things had gone with Ely, but it exhausted him even more, in and out of theatre all day. He wasn't sure he'd even sat down at all during his whole shift. That evening, he's home around half ten, stepping through the door into a quiet house. He found his food waiting for him on the side and after he ate he dragged himself straight to bed. It was empty and cold again, and he desperately missed Ely beside him. 

She’d spent the day at her father’s grave. It had meant catching a train to Surrey, and she’d popped in to see her mother too, but then she’d been sat out in the pouring rain. It suited how she felt as she smoked cigarette after cigarette under her umbrella, explaining and crying to her papa’s headstone. She’d managed to pull herself together somewhat by the evening, heading back to the train station. The train had been busy and loud, and her ankle was hurting in addition to her thumping headache. She hadn’t drunk at all. 

Once home, she’d forced herself to cook, leaving Fao’s for him to warm up, and had gone to hide in her bedroom. She’d contemplated buying a lock, but hadn’t yet. For now, she just hid her face in Arrow’s fur. It was easier to forget everything like that. 

More nightmares followed that night, and by the next morning Fao had given up trying to sleep. Despite not being on the rota, Fao decided to head into work that day and see if he could lend a hand, perhaps cover for someone or take over an elective list. Anything to keep him busy all day. He mucked in where he could, and said he'd happily stay on call even when he went home that evening. So he did, and retired to bed with his work phone. He'd not seen Ely at all that day, but didn't think it mattered. She obviously didn't want to be around him. He wouldn't be surprised if she moved out soon enough. He was woken from a doze at about midnight for a trauma, and headed back to work, the front door slamming behind him as he left. He wasn't sure if he'd bother going home when he was finished, either. 

The slamming door woke up, as well as her service dog, who jumped up with his ears pricked. Quickly, she checked everything was fine and assumed Fao had been called out for one reason or another. That was the only reason he'd be leaving in the middle of the night. 

So she went back to sleep, though she too suffered with nightmares. In the morning, she was exhausted, and slept in.

He was forced to go home around 1, told to get some rest and stop downing coffee. Begrudgingly, he went, and on returning home the house was quiet. He didn't seek Ely or the dog out, and went straight to bed. 

Ely heard him come in, and knew he must be hungry - she didn't know when he'd last eaten. So she made him some lunch, and took it up to him on quiet feet. She knocked, and then spoke through the door.

“Fao?"

He lifted his head from where he’d buried it into the pillows. “What is it?”

"I brought you some food.”

“Oh.”

“I though you might be hungry.”

“Yeah.” He mumbled, getting up to open the door.

She only stepped over the threshold, holding out the plate to him. 

He took it. “Thanks.” He mumbled, turning away.

She nervously rubbed her wrists. There was a fresh cut there, something she hadn’t done since the weeks following her father’s death. “Are you.... are you okay?”

“Fine.” He said sharply.

“Oh, okay. I just haven’t seen you….”

“Picked up some extra shifts at work.”

“Okay. I was just worried.”

“I was on call last night.”

She nodded. “Okay. Well, shout me if you need me.”

“Sure.”

“I don’t want that conversation to make things weird between us.”

“I’ve not seen you in a while, that’s just life I guess.”

“Yeah. We could watch a movie tonight?”

"Maybe." He said. "Thanks for the food."

“You’re welcome. See you later.” She said, retreating and shutting the door behind her.

He sat up in bed to eat, discarded the plate, and then tried to get some sleep. He ended up having another nightmare, his head caught up in the exhaustion and stress. 

Arrow must have known, because he kept pounding up the stairs and scratching at Fao’s door. Ely kept hauling him away, wondering what was wrong. She doubted Fao would want to be woken by a dog jumping on him, especially now that he was so tired. So she kept taking Arrow downstairs, and eventually shut the living room door so he couldn’t get up. 

Even more exhausted when he woke up, Fao gave up sleeping and headed downstairs, hair tousled and pyjama bottoms low on his hips. He got himself a cup of coffee and settled on the sofa, frowning. 

“Why’s the living room door shut?” He asked sleepily.

“Arrow kept going upstairs and scratching at your door. I didn’t want him to wake you.”

"Oh."

“So I shut the door.” She said softly. 

“Thanks, I guess.” He said, sipping his coffee.

“I figured you needed your rest.”

“Didn’t get much anyway.”

"Even so." She murmured.

“I miss having him in bed with me, though.”

She rubbed her wrist again. "You can have him tonight, if you want.”

“No, you need him.”

"My meds are working, I can cope for one night."

"No, it's not worth the risk."

"Honestly, it's fine."

"I'd rather he was with you overnight than with me. Seizures are far worse than nightmares."

She hummed, and turned the volume down on the tv. She wasn't really watching it anyway. "Okay."

"I don't want you seizing in the night with no warning."

"I won't argue with you."

"My nightmares don't matter."

"Of course they do." She told him gently. "You were never that bad before...."

"I've always been bad."

“You never woke me up.”

"I'm better with company."

She nodded a little absently. “I don’t want to overstep any boundaries, but if you need me...”

"It's fine. I'm not always better. Lost count of how many times it earned me Henri's elbow in my ribs."

“God, he was such a dick. But anything I can do to help, yeah?” She didn’t dare take his hand to squeeze his fingers. 

"It woke me up, so that was something I guess." He mumbled. "It's fine, they'll stop eventually."

“Okay. I just want to help.”

"It's fine."

“Okay.” She repeated, unsure what to say next. Did he even want her company?

He sipped his coffee in silence, his legs tucked up under him.

Eventually, she broke the silence. It was just uncomfortable, and not like either of them. "Um, can we get back to normal? We shouldn't feel lonely in our own home."

“What’s normal?” He asked quietly. “I don’t know anymore.”

She paused. “If I’m making things awkward for you, I can move out. I’m not looking for anything more than friendship, but I really don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“No, I don’t want you to move out. It’s a pain to find a new flat, you’re welcome to stay. I just don’t want to do anything to confuse you or hurt you.”

“You’re not going to.”

“I don’t want you to move out.”

Ely nodded. "I know. But this is awkward.”

“Let’s try and sort it, then.” He murmured. “We can sort it, I’m sure.”

"That's what I want. You're my best friend.”

“I’d miss you too much.”

She smiled softly. "I'd miss you too.”

“And Arrow.”

"Ah, but who would you miss the most?”

“Trick question.”

She shook her head. "No way. C'mon, answer!”

“It’s impossible to pick, I’d miss you both the same."

She sighed dramatically, clearly messing about. "We both know you'd miss Arrow more than me. Who else gives you such good hugs?”

“You give pretty good hugs.”

"I try.”

“You’re good.”

She glanced at him. "A hug to make things better?" She offered.

“That sounds really good.”

She moved closer to him, and opened her arms wide. "Come here, then."

He pressed closer and hugged her back. "Sorry for being a grump."

"Nah, it's fine." She murmured.


	46. Chapter 46

However, it quickly fell downhill. She still felt like she was in a slump, and she still slept in her own bed. Not that it felt like it - it felt too big, too empty even with Arrow next to her. She lost track of how many times she used a broken razor to cut herself, always carefully, always small so she could write it off. At one point, she went into the bathroom to find a red-brown streak on the pure white porcelain of the sink. She couldn't remember leaving a mess, but she still cleaned it up anyway. She couldn't have Fao finding out.

A few weeks later, she'd decided that she couldn't live like this. She was tired of walking on eggshells around him. Things seemed a little better at work, now that she was slowly getting back into it, but at home it was hard. So she packed a few of her things, shrugged on Fao's old hoodie she'd gotten from Alex - who'd she'd rung and was able to stay over with until she found her own place - and wrote a note for Fao. She left it on the coffee table, unable to face telling him verbally.

Fao was still slipping. He felt as though he'd lost his footing, that he'd really stopped coping. This was worse than Henri, worse than running from him that night a few months ago. His self harm got worse, he found himself thinking more and more about finding a bridge or something. But he knew he had to come home, got to see Ely and Arrow and curl up on the sofa at the end of the day. 

But one evening, he came home from work to find the house quiet. Too quiet. The dog wasn't around, barking at the door, and Ely wasn't around either. Confused, Fao moved into the living room to find a note on the table. She'd gone. Moved out, left. He wasn't sure why, they'd been getting so much better again. Not like it had been before, but still good. He wished she'd have spoken to him, told him she was leaving. So he wandered into the kitchen to begrudgingly cook himself some dinner, then went straight to bed afterwards. He wanted to call her, but couldn't bring himself to ask why. Had it been his fault? Probably. 

She didn’t text him. She’d made it to Alex’s, and had been greeted by her ex snogging her new boyfriend. They’d kindly left her some food, and she soon had the living room to herself. It was a strange feeling, being here again. Maybe it had been a terrible mistake. Maybe she should have gone to Ollie instead. She cried that night, for her bad choices and for no doubt upsetting Fao. He deserved so much better. Her pride wouldn’t let her go back, and so she spent two weeks putting up with it, burying her emotions. She picked up extra shifts where she could, determined to be busy. 

Fao too picked up extra shifts and kept himself busy. He hated being alone in the house, it was way too quiet. He missed Arrow especially, missed the dog's goofy grin and daft greetings in the evening. It didn't feel right without him or without Ely. 

He slipped even further, cuts over his stomach and his thighs. He pushed his limits and pushed his luck and sometimes he'd go a little too far and get dizzy or even faint. He noticed it at work, too, how he'd pay for those cuts when he was stood over an operating table all day, doing ward rounds or assessing patients in resus. But he deserved it, deserved to feel that pain. Served him right for being so stupid. 

Eventually, he'd reached his limit. He couldn't go on like this, he was going to end up acting on those suicidal thoughts in his head. So he booked himself a little break in a remote cabin, a week and a bit of peace and quiet. But he didn't want to be alone. He wanted Ely, he missed her. It occurred to him one day when they were in theatre together, when his eyes drifted across the room to her and realised that was why he felt so empty. 

One night a few days later, he rang her. It was close to eleven at night and he was curled up in bed. It was so quiet, so still, and he longed for her pressed up against him with the dog at their feet. He held his breath as the phone dialled and then rang, praying she'd pick up.

She’d just been dozing off when her phone rang and she fumbled for it on the dark, eyes still shut as she answered. 

“Hey.” She greeted, the word muffled by her yawn. 

"Hi." He said softly. "Sorry, I know it's late. How much leave have you got left this year?"

She rubbed her eyes. “About two weeks, I think.”

"Fancy taking a week or so of it?"

“It needs using....” she trailed off. “Why?”

"Well... 'm not doing so good right now and booked myself a bit of a holiday, I guess. But I kind of don't wanna be alone and I kinda wanna spend some time with you again. I miss you."

“I miss you too.” She replied softly. “I’d love to come. When is it?”

"The week of the 3rd."

“Okay. I’ll request it off.”

"Let me know, yeah? I'll sort the booking and tell them about Arrow and stuff."

“Yeah.” She agreed. “Where is it? Or is it a surprise?”

"Do you want it to be a surprise?"

“I like surprises, as long as you tell me if I need to pack warm clothes.”

"Pack... Cosy." He murmured. "But it's only the UK so it's not gonna be crazy temperatures."

"Alright, I will do."

"It's not luxury, just some peace and quiet."

"So not outrageously sexy dresses like I'm on the red carpet?" She joked.

"None of that crap. Just comfortable. And bring some good shoes."

"Will do." She said, yawning again.

“Sorry, I know it’s late. See you tomorrow?”

"Yeah. You can remind me about this." She'd probably forget, given how late it was. She yawned once more, and her voice was muffled when she spoke again. "G'night, love you.”

He smiled softly. “Goodnight.” He murmured, hanging up. The soft, sleepy “I love you" was a shock but it almost felt right? Like they were back to their usual selves, joking around in the kitchen or him surprising her with a hug from behind when he got home. They acted like a couple sometimes, he supposed. And he was sure he liked her, she was sweet and funny and kind and she understood him. She knew you couldn’t creep up behind him or yell when he was cooking, or grab him by the wrist, even as a joke. He could see himself with her, he was sure. But he had no idea if she felt the same way. Other than the awkward encounter they’d had previously, she’d denied it as simply friendship. Was she interested in anything else? Did she have the patience to wait for him to settle into things. She did friendship wise, but relationships were different.

Ely slid her phone onto her bedside drawers and rolled over, pulled deep into sleep. It was a miracle she'd been awake enough for the conversation at all. In the morning, she kissed Arrow on the head and left him wrapped up in her duvet as she headed to work, climbing into a taxi with a cup of strong tea in a travel mug. She'd finished it by the time she got to work, but stopped at the cafe to grab something to eat. Who knew when she'd get a chance to again.

Fao didn’t get a chance to see her until that afternoon, grabbing some ‘lunch’ at around three. He was sprawled on one of the staff room sofas eating when she came in, and he smiled. 

“Hi. Busy day?”

She smiled at him. "Something like that. You?”

“Crazy. This is the first time I’ve sat down since this morning.”

"I can tell, you've taken over the sofa." She teased, patting his shins. "Let me in.”

He swung his legs down so she could sit, huffing. “Fine.”

She sat down and patted her thighs. "Thank you.”

His feet ended up back in her lap and he sighed. “Who’ve you been with today? Not seen you.”

"Dr Powell. Emergency c-section this morning, they needed a hand."

"Oof. Been stuck in gynae the rest of the day?"

She nodded. "Yep. But I'm out of it now.”

“That’s decent.”

"Maybe we'll get a chance to work together."

"Maybe."

She rubbed her hands absently over his legs. "Did I dream that you rung me last night?”

“No, that was real.”

"Mmm, really? We're going on holiday?"

"Yeah, if you can get the leave."

“I’m sure I’ll be able to.” She said with a smile. 

"Where are you staying right now?" He asked after a moment.

Ely paused. “With Alex.”

"Did you wanna come back to mine? I miss you."

She shrugged. “I figured we both needed space.”

"Yeah. But now... Now I miss sharing a bed with you, miss being able to cuddle in the evenings and stuff."

She blushed, just a little bit. “Then I’ll come back. I’m sick of hearing Alex fucking Chris, anyway.”

He beamed. "And I really miss the dog."

“More than me?”

"Not more than you, no. But almost."

She grinned at him. “Good. I’ll move back in.”

"Do you want a lift to Alex's?"

“I could grab some of my stuff and come home?”

"Yeah, if you wanted. Or I could just drop you back and pick you up whenever you wanted tomorrow."

“I’m working tomorrow.” She said softly. “And it’s be nice to have someone to cuddle.”

"If you wanted to come back after work then I'd happily drop you in in the morning."

“I’d like that.”

"Good. We'll do that. After I've dropped you off I think I might head out on a run."

She nodded. “I won’t join you for that.”

"No, you'll be working."

“Exactly.”

“But I’ll still be running. Need to get back into it. Helps sort my head out.”

She smiled, still rubbing his legs. "I don't do exercise, you know that.”

“You should do.”

"Saying I'm fat?”

“Saying exercise is good for everyone.”

She winked at him. "I was getting plenty of exercise until you complained.”

“Oh, shush.”

"I was!" She insisted, leaning over towards him to steal some of his lunch.

“Oi! Get your own food.”

She laughed. "You can't let me starve.”

“Should have bought your own food.”

"Well, I'm trapped under your legs." She pointed out. "Any clues about where we're going?”

“Somewhere relaxing.”

"Far away?”

“Not too far. A few hours in the car.”

"I'll put in my request now." She murmured, pulling out her phone.

“Mmm, good. Once it’s approved I’ll call them about the dog.”

"Alright. God knows we need to get away.”

“Yeah, peace and quiet.”

She smiled softly at him. "I really have missed you.”

“Me too. House is too quiet without you.”

"Sorry for leaving how I did." She apologised.

“I was worried I’d done something wrong.”

"Not at all," she told him, "I just.... I needed some space, and I couldn't tell you to your face. I didn't want to hurt you.”

“I figured it was my fault."

"It wasn't. I'm so sorry." She assured him.

“It’s okay.”

"As long as it actually is.”

“It is. Promise.”

Ely smiled at him again. "Okay. Can I actually go get my food, though? I don't want to starve.”

He huffed and moved his legs. “Go on, then.”

She went and grabbed her food, and then settled next to Fao instead. "I'd really like to come home.”

“I’d love you to.”

"I don't know if you want to share a bed again, though…."

“I do. It’s nice to have someone warm to curl up into.”

She blushed. "Yeah, it is.”

“Especially coming home late.”

"Yeah." She replied, nibbling on her food. "There's nothing like you coming home when I get to cuddle up to you.”

“It’s great. Nice to destress.”

"And to have company.”

“Yeah.”

It was nice, to go home with him that evening. They'd been on the same surgery last thing, and they crept into Alex's flat to get Arrow and a bag of her clothes, though they both knew she'd end up in Fao's pyjamas anyway.


	47. Chapter 47

She settled right back into life with him like she'd never left. She cherished waking up next to him on a morning, either with their legs entwined or his arms thrown over her waist. Her holiday request was accepted, and there were no issues with taking Arrow - pets were allowed, not that he was one. As a service dog they couldn't have turned him away, no less than they could have turned a guide dog away.

It still took some time to get used to Fao driving the Ferrari, after she'd spent so much time doing so. But it was nice to relax too, to lean back in the soft leather and watch him. She watched the muscles of his arm tense and relax as he drove. It took them a few hours to reach their destination - Bainland Lodge Park. It was beautiful. Their lodge was newly built, on the banks of a man-made lake, with a fenced veranda complete with a hot tub to enjoy the evenings in. There was one bedroom, but they shared a bed anyway, so that didn't matter.

It was all wood and felt incredibly cosy. Once they'd unpacked, she let herself spread out on the massive bed.

"This is amazing." She told Fao.

“Happy?” He asked with a grin.

"Oh, I'm more than happy.”

“I’m glad.”

She reached out for him. "I can't have this bed all to myself, though.”

“You’ll have to share with me, eh?”

"I don't think that's so bad."

"I'm sure you'll survive."

“Just don’t kick me out of it.” She said, still reaching out for him. 

"Course I won't."

“Gonna join me, at least?”

He flopped down next to her. "Mmm, alright then."

Ely rolled over, with her arm across his chest. “This really is amazing. Can we stay forever?”

"Yeah, I wanna. Let's quit work."

She laughed. “You’d get bored.”

"Only after a month or so."

“You’d still get bored. And I’m not rich, I need to work.”

"You're not poor either, shush."

“No, but I still need to work.”

"Live off of Henri's money. It's paying for this trip."

She stared at him. “Really?”

“Yeah. Why not, eh?”

“He’d hate that.” She said, and smiled. 

“He would. Why do you think I did it?”

She shrugged. “I shouldn’t have expected anything else.”

“Exactly. I like doing stuff that would piss him off. I’m thinking about buying another car.”

She looked up at him. “Yeah? What car?”

“Range Rover. Something we can actually get the dog in. He’ll need his jabs soon.”

She hummed, settling down on him. “That’s a good idea.”

“And in case anything happens.”

“Too bad I can’t drive it.”

“You’ve been seizure free for a while, it’s only a matter of time.”

“I know. I just miss it.”

“I’ll let you drive the Ferrari when you’re allowed.”

Her fingers idly played with a thread on his jumper. “Good. I got used to it.”

“It’s a nice car. Maybe, when everything’s sorted, I’ll buy you one. Well, Henri will.”

“You don’t have to do that.” She said softly. 

“And what if I want to, eh?”

“I suppose I can’t stop you.”

“Exactly.”

“So I’ll just accept it. Shall we sit on the veranda?”

“Yeah. The weather is nice.”

She peeled herself away from him. “Wine? Or do you want whisky?”

“Wine, I think.”

“Red?"

“Whatever you fancy.”

She wandered off to go find one of the bottles they'd brought with them, and poured some into the elegant glasses provided. When she returned, she passed him his glass carefully. "C'mon, the sun's setting. It looks so nice.”

He got up from bed, grinning. “I love the sunset.”

"I know you do. And it's our first night here.”

Fao padded out onto the veranda, followed by the dog. He settled, sipping his wine as he watched the sun sink lower over the lake.

Ely leaned against him - not too much, just enough for the right about of comfort and pressure. "I can't believe you've brought me here.”

“I thought we both could do with some peace and quiet.”

"Thank you for inviting me.”

“I’ve really missed spending time with you.” He said, looping his arm around her waist.

"Me too." She said softly. "Everything felt wrong, like the world was upside down.”

“Yeah, house was too bloody quiet.”

"Well, I'm back now.”

“You are.”

Absently, her fingers ran over the top of his, feeling where they were on her waist. It was nice. "No getting rid of me now.”

“Stuck with you.”

"Not that you mind." She said, pushing her sleeves up.

“Mmm, ‘course not."

“I’ll admit that I wish I took one of your jumpers.”

"Want my hoodie?"

“I can help myself.” She murmured. “And I’m not cold.”

"Alright."

She smiled, and closed her eyes. “I meant I wish I’d taken one when I moved out. It would have been nice.”

“Oh. Rude.”

“That’s not rude! I missed you!”

“You’re the one who moved out.”

“Because I thought we both needed space. I was trying to do the right thing.”

“I know, I know.”

She sighed softly, content. “And I’m definitely back now. Might even steal your pyjamas tonight.”

“I expect nothing less.”

“You can’t expect me to sleep naked.” She teased. 

“Ew, gross.”

Ely laughed. “Naked bodies aren’t gross! But I’d get cold.”

“I don’t want your naked ass up against me.”

“There’s nothing wrong with my ass!”

"Still don't want it all over me." He said, as he trailed his fingers over her skin, humming. 

“You make it sound like my ass is a ravenous monster that’s gonna gobble you up.” She said, shivering at his touch. 

"Piss off. Don't want your gross naked ick all over me." He murmured. He could feel raised skin of what he thought were cuts over her arm, healing scabs. He frowned. "What happened to your arm?"

“What do you mean? It’s an arm, it’s there.”

He rolled his eyes, sighing. "I know that. But you're covered in scratches."

She was quiet for a few minutes, thinking about how to respond. “Trying to give us both space just.... didn’t work. I relapsed for the first time in years.”

"That's okay." He said softly. "It's okay to relapse."

“I know. I’m doing better now.”

"I'm glad." He replied, fingers still skimming over her skin. 

“It started when my papa died. Survivors guilt, I guess.”

"I know how that feels." Fao replied. 

“When I noticed I was getting bad again I went back to therapy.”

"I'm glad it helps you."

She picked up on his tone. “I am too. It’s nice to talk things through with someone who can help.”

"Well, it helps you and that's really good." He said, sipping his wine. 

“I’m not gonna force it on you.” She murmured. “It’s your choice. And like I said, I’m better now. I have coping strategies.”

"Yeah, I'm glad. Losing your dad must have been hard."

“It was. I think the funeral brought it all back.” She shook off, like she was getting rid of her sorrow. “He’d be proud of me, I think.”

"Of course he would. Your life is going so well. You've got the job, the house, the housemate who takes you on holiday..."

She laughed. “I do. You’re my best friend."

"Yeah. I don't know what I'd do without you."

“We’re each other’s rock.”

"We are, I suppose."

She put her wine down, wrapping her arm around his waist in return. “I promise I’ll tell you next time things get bad instead of running away.”

"I'd definitely prefer a conversation, that's for sure."

“I feel so bad about that, it was totally the wrong way to do it.”

"Next time if you want to leave I'd prefer if you tell me to my face."

“Good job I’m not gonna leave.”

"You better not."

“Definitely not. But if you don’t believe me, you can take me hostage.”

"I like the sound of that."

She grinned. “Of course you do. As long as you feed me I don’t mind.”

"I'll always feed you."

“Just no ropes or anything, yeah?” She joked. 

He stiffened a little. "Oh, uh, no, don't be daft. Nothing like that... It was a joke."

“Fao?” She asked, frowning and rubbing her fingers over his hip. “I was joking, it’s okay.”

"Of... Of course."

“I’m sorry if it upset you, I didn’t mean it.”

"It's fine. I just need to rewire my brain."

“Yeah.” She murmured softly. “You’ll get there.”

"Yeah." He replied, leaning back against her and forcing the tension out of his shoulders.

“You’ve already come so far. I’m so proud of you.”

"It's hard. Almost everything reminds me of something he did."

“I know. But you’ve done so well already.”

"Yeah. Work is easier now."

“It is. More wine?”

"Mmm, yeah."

She passed him her glass. “You can have mine, I’ve had enough.”

"Are you sure?"

“Yeah. I haven’t eaten and it’s strong stuff. You don’t want to put up with me when I’m tipsy from one glass.”

He laughed, pouring it into his own glass. "Alright then. We should think about food."

“But that means moving.”

"Yeah, but I'm hungry."

“Did we even bring food?”

"I bought stuff for breakfast. Do you wanna go out?"

“That would be nice.”

“Or we could order in.”

“Either is good.” She replied. “I haven’t been able to dress up for ages.”

“Let’s go out, then.”

She beamed at him. “I’m off to shower, then.”

“Don’t be too long.”

“I won’t, don’t worry.” She said, kissing his cheek as she got up. 

He smiled up at her. “I’ll chill here for a bit with my wine, then." 

“You can decide where we’re going.”

“I think there’s some places nearby.”

She nodded. "Alright. Do you want to shower too?”

“Yeah, when you’re done.”

"I promise I won't take forever." She hadn't wanted to shave while she was away, so she'd booked herself in for a wax for the day before. She was silky smooth now, and she'd be less than ten minutes in the shower. And so she was, and stuck her head out of the bedroom doorway once she was out. "There, it's all yours!”

He’d been lost in thought, watching the sunset. It was nice to have some peace and quiet, listening to the water, sipping his wine. With Ely done in the bathroom, he stood up, draining his glass. 

“Mmm, thank you.” He replied, padding inside. 

“Welcome!” She said, drying herself off. 

He hummed, slipping into the bathroom to shower. It didn’t take him long, and he appeared with a towel around his waist. “There’s an Italian place not far away.” He suggested to Ely. “Did you fancy that?”

She was busy with her makeup and hair, and didn't notice him come out. Without turning around - she was applying mascara - she nodded. "That sounds amazing.”

“Nothing fancy, but I’m craving pizza.”

"You always have the best taste." She said, putting her mascara down and plumping her hair with her hands. She'd already gotten dressed, and she adjusted her skirt and jumper.

“Thank you.” He replied, pulling on some fresh boxers and some dark jeans. “You look nice.”

"You think so?”

“Yeah, I like it.”

She twisted to smile at him, her cheeks pink. “Thanks. The jumper is new.”

“It looks soft.”

“It’s really soft.”

“When did you buy it?”

“A few weeks ago. I’ve tried not to wear it.” She murmured. 

“You should wear it.”

“I’ve been saving it for this.” She said. 

“That’s cute.”

“I’m adorable. What are you gonna wear?”

“Probably just a shirt.”

“Mmm, that khaki one is nice.”

"Yeah?"

She nodded. “Yeah. It really suit you.” She didn’t add that it was perfectly tight on his shoulders and arms. 

"I've always liked that colour."

“It’s a shame I didn’t know you when you were serving.”

"You'd have hated me."

“I doubt that.”

"I was young and arrogant."

She shrugged. “Alex liked you well enough.”

"Well, we met in our early twenties. We were as daft as each other."

She smiled, and moved closer to him to sort out his collar. She had to stand on her tiptoes to fold the back over, and when she was done she brushed off his shoulders. “I guess you were.”

"We definitely were."

She breathed deeply. His aftershave was nice. “You’re not any more.”

"Well, we're both still daft, just in a different way."

“You’re both hard working and amazing.”

"Aww, cute. Shall I call a cab?"

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

"Mmm, okay."

“If you are?” She asked. 

"Yeah, just gotta get shoes and stuff on."

She hummed. “Mmm, okay. I’ll put some boots on.”

He smiled, sitting down to put on his socks and shoes before he called for a taxi to pick them up.

Ely managed to get her boots on. They were comfortable and sturdy, good for her ankle, though she’d been given the all clear. You could never be too careful, in her opinion. While they waiting, she leaned against her friend with their arms looped together, comfortable with the silence. 

It was a while before Fao spoke, having been enjoying the silence. "I'm so glad you could come here with me."

“I still can’t believe you asked me.”

"Honestly, I can't quite believe I did either. I was worried you were mad at me."

“I wasn’t mad at you.”

"I know that now."

Ely smiled softly at him. “Really, this is a treat for me.”

"It's a treat for me too."

“And god do you deserve it.”

"It's been a tough year."

She squeezed his arm. “It has. You’re stronger now, and we’re all here for you.”

"Yeah, I can't thank you enough."

“I’d do anything for you, you know that.”

"Yeah, you're an idiot." He said affectionately.

“Like you care about that. I’m your idiot.”

"You are, that's true."

“And I’m cute, so you can’t blame me for anything either.”

"Those puppydog eyes of yours."

“I’m good at them.” She joked, and shivered. “How long is the taxi gonna be?”

"Not too much longer. It's just not like London."

“I’m cold.”

"Need a jacket?"

She shrugged. "I can just press closer to you. You're Irish."

He laughed. "Sure? You can have mine, I don't mind."

"If you insist..."

He smiled and got up to grab it, passing it to her. "There. Now you'll be warmer."

She draped it over her shoulders. It was a little big for her, but it would keep her warm until the taxi came. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Will you let me pay for the taxi?"

"Nope. Henri's paying."

She grinned. "Alright."

"Not a single penny of my money is being used this week."

"I suppose I'm happy not to pay for anything, then."

"Exactly."

“We’re getting the most expensive food they have, yeah?”

"Well, it's not really fancy but we'll get wine and three courses and maybe coffee after."

She pulled a face. “Coffee is gross.”

"You can have tea."

“I could. Or hot chocolate.”

"Yeah. It's all money to spend."

She was quiet for a moment. “You could donate some to a domestic abuse charity. He’d hate that.”

"Yeah, I likely will. I'm just fucking about with it first."

“Might as well.”

“Exactly.”

The taxi pulled up. “You must be rich now.”

“I wasn’t bad off before.”

They headed to the taxi and then to the restaurant. They ate, enjoying a bottle of wine between them, and Fao had to admit that despite the coffee he’d had at the end of the meal, he was drunk. The food had taken the edge off and it was easy to drink the wine and forget how much he’d had at the cabin. The taxi ride home was… interesting, and he had to stare down at his lap to try and stop him feeling sick. When they were back he fumbled to pay the driver and managed to stumble inside, giggling a little when he tripped and caught himself on the railing. 

Ely shook her head fondly. “Sit down, I’ll get your shoes off for you.”

“I can do it. ‘m not a baby.” He protested.

“Okay, okay. Just don’t fall over.” She told him, slipping her own off and letting Arriw out of his harness.

He laughed. “I won’t. Imma sit down.” He mumbled, flopping down on the bed and tugging at his shoelaces to get his shoes off. He managed his shoes and socks, tossing them across the room into a messy pile.

“I’ll get you some water.” She said. “Otherwise you’ll be dying tomorrow.”

“Nah, ‘m alright. Had coffee.”

“Coffee won’t stop a hangover.” She pointed out. “I’ll get one for me too.”

“‘m fine.” He insisted.

“I know.” She said. 

He huffed and stood up, fumbling to undo his jeans.

“You don’t need a hand, do you?”

“‘m fine.”

"Alright. I won't be long."

He nodded, groaning as it made him a little more nauseous. He fumbled with the button to his jeans, it took him a while to undo it, and then it was a struggle to pull them off. He ended up toppling over onto the bed, and, sprawled on his back he couldn't stop laughing, kicking his jeans off. 

She could hear him laughing, and she came back with two glasses of water. He was clearly drunk, but he wasn't doing any harm to himself and she put the glasses down on either side of the bed. "What are you laughing at?”

“I fell.”

"Well, that was silly."

He was still grinning, and managed to sit up, groaning. "'m silly."

"You are. But I love it when you're silly." She told him, and turned her back to him as she pulled off her jumper and then her skirt.

He pouted, struggling to undo his shirt. Try as he might, he just couldn’t get the little buttons undone. They were just too small and fiddly. After far too long trying and failing, he looked up. 

“Elyyyy?” He whined. “Can you help me?”

She just pulled her nightie down and she took in the sight of him still spread out on the bed. "What's wrong?”

“I can’t get my shirt off.”

"Sit up." She told him. "And I'll help you.”

“Thanks.” He mumbled, sitting up and swaying a little.

"Slowly, slowly." She said softly, and started to unbutton his shirt from the top.

“Mmm, you’re so nice. So pretty, too.”

"Oh shush."

"I don't deserve you." He mumbled. "You're so kind and clever and nice and you have nice hair and pretty eyes."

"You definitely deserve me, don't be silly.”

“You’re so nice. And… and you look after me.”

"I'm your friend." She said, reaching the last button. "I'll always look after you.”

“Mmm, thank you. Love you.” He said thickly.

She blushed. "Love you too.”

“Can you get my bottoms?”

"Yeah. Which ones do you want?"

"The red ones."

"Mmm, those ones are nice." They matched her nightie too, but she didn't think that was why he'd chosen them. She hurried to fetch them and passed them over. "Can you do it, or do you need my help?"

"Mmmm, I can do it." He said, reaching out for them. It took him a while, but he managed to get them on. "Imma brush my teeth." He said thickly, standing up and swaying before he headed determinedly to the bathroom.

She watched him go, and decided she'd go do hers once he was done. To pass the time, she went and took Arrow just outside to the grass where he could do his business before they went to bed, and when she came back she made sure all of the doors were locked.

He did them, leaning on the counter by the sink. He felt a little better after doing it, and crawled into bed, snuggling down under the duvet with a sigh.

She could hear him walking back to the bed, and she found herself hoping he wouldn't be asleep before she got back. She'd bought a cheap toothbrush for while they were away, and she stood in front of the mirror to brush them, and washed her face to get rid of her makeup. As her moisturiser soaked in, she combed her fingers through her hair to get rid of the kinks and then returned to the bedroom. It looked like he was asleep, with the duvet up to his chin, and Ely took a moment to enjoy how peaceful he looked - drunkness aside. Quietly, so she didn't disturb him, she slipped under the duvet next to him.

He immediately rolled into her, cuddling up. “Mmm, gimme love.”

Ely pressed back against him. "Is that enough for you?”

“Mmmhmm.”

“You’re very clingy.”

“Want cuddles.”

“I like it.” She murmured. 

“Me too. You give good cuddles.”

"You give good cuddles too." She replied. Here, in a lodge where no one could see them, she could almost pretend things were different. He'd opened the taxi door for her, pulled out her chair for her to sit. The table had been in a secluded corner, with beautiful candles as a centrepiece. They'd laughed and talked and had shared their food. She might have been keeping him upright on the way out, but she'd been on his arm. She could almost pretend they were back here after a date.

He sighed heavily. “Had fun tonight. Like spendin’ time wit’ you.”

"I had fun as well.”

“Mmm. Good.”

"We should do it again sometime.”

“Yeah.”

She smiled to herself. "Spend more of Henri's money.”

“Yeah. Go fancy places.”

"Places he'd hate.”

“Yeah. And ‘m gonna buy a car.”

"You are." She agreed.

“A better one for Arrow.” He mumbled, burying his head against her.

"Mmmm, yeah.”

“He doesn’t really fit in the little one. He’s too big.” He said thickly. “‘m tired.”

"You can sleep, it's okay.”

“Yeah. Gonna sleep.” He said, already halfway there. He was practically draped on top of Ely, and it wasn’t long before he was completely dead to the world.


	48. Chapter 48

He woke up about 45 minutes later, groaning. He felt absolutely, horrendously sick, and tried to breathe through it for a minute or so but it didn’t work. He felt worse and worse and had to get up, the room spinning as he got to his feet. He stumbled to the bathroom, tripping over on the way. His knee throbbed as he fell to his knees in front of the toilet. It was a minute or so before he was actually sick, groaning and resting his head against the cool porcelain once he was done for the moment. 

Ely stirred when he left the bed, but it was the sound of him retching that woke her. Rubbing her eyes, she stared through the dark to the barely visible bathroom door, and slowly got up.

"You okay?" She asked from the door frame.

He groaned. “Fuck. Feel shitty.”

"Do you want me to stay?”

“You don’t have to.” He mumbled, quiet for a minute before he vomited again.

She crouched down next to him, rubbing his back. "I want to. There, get it all up, you'll feel better once you do.”

“Ugh, sorry.” He mumbled. “Gross.”

"It's fine. Don't you worry.”

He sighed again, resting his forehead on the toilet seat.

"You'll be fine soon.”

“Mmmhmm. Love you. Thanks.” He said, coughing.

"Love you too." He didn't love her as she loved him, she was sure, but that didn't matter. "Feeling ready to stand up?”

“No. Might be sick again.”

"Alright. We can stay a little longer.”

“Mmmhmm. Feel shit.”

"I know. I'll stay with you as long as you need me.”

He groaned, gagging a little and lifting his head just to spit into the bowl. He breathes deeply for a minute before he’s sick again.

Ely hummed sympathetically, picking up her methodical rubbing of his back to soothe him. "I've got you.”

“Shouldn’t ‘ave drunk.”

"There's nothing wrong with having a few drinks.”

He hiccupped, rubbing his face. “Feel shit though.”

"I know.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise.” She replied. 

"This is gross." He mumbled, swallowing thickly. "'m sorry."

“Hey, it’s okay. Take some deep breaths.”

He tried to, reaching out to flush the toilet. It takes him a little while but eventually he's just sat on the floor, leaning against Ely and trying to stay awake. 

She looped an arm around his shoulders. “Do you think you could handle some sips of water?”

He nodded slowly. "Water... An' 'm gonna brush my teeth 'gain."

“Okay. Want some help?”

"Help me up?"

She stood up first, and then offered her hand to him. 

He reached out to haul himself to his feet, still a little unsteady. "Thanks."

She smiled, and patted his back. “Welcome. I’ll be right back, okay?”

"Mmmhmm." He hummed, reaching out to brush his teeth again, trying to get rid of the taste in his mouth.

He seemed better now, and when she came back she rested a hand on the small of his back. “Just little sips.”

"Yeah." He replied, reaching for the glass. 

“And then we’ll push arrow off of the bed and go back to sleep.”

"Wanna cuddle him. An' you."

“You’ll have me.”

He smiled, sipping the water. "Sorry for ruining the trip."

“You haven’t ruined it.”

"Feel like I have."

“You haven’t, I promise.” She assured him. 

He whined. "I have."

“Not at all. C’mon, let’s get back in bed and you can have a cuddle, eh?”

He nodded. "Okay."

Slowly, she lead him back to the bed and helped him in first before she climbed in next to him and held her arms open. “Come here, I have natural cushions for you.”

He laughed a little, cuddling right up to her. "'m really sorry."

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” She said, holding him close. 

"I was bein' gross. Bein' sick everywhere."

“So? Sometimes that happens, and it doesn’t matter.”

"Gross though."

“Not really. You were sick in the toilet and flushed it away.”

He wrinkled his nose. "Gross." He insisted. 

“Not at all. Would have been gross if it was on me, but it isn’t.”

He sighed. "'m tired."

“I know. Close your eyes.” She said softly, rubbing her fingers through his hair.

He did, and soon enough he was asleep, snoring softly on top of her. He slept surprisingly well, not really waking up the rest of the night, though he stayed pressed into her the whole night. When he woke, his face was practically buried in her boobs. Confused and a little embarrassed, he pulled back to settle next to her. He still felt like absolute shit - dizzy, weak, tired and incredibly nauseous. He couldn't help but look at Ely, though, and how pretty she looked in the morning light. He was so lucky to have her as such a good friend. He was desperate to ask her if she wanted more, to kiss her, but he couldn't. They were friends, she'd never be interested in him like that. Nobody could ever be interested in him like that again. He was damaged goods, no use to anyone. 

Ely stirred later than him, vaguely aware he wasn’t in her arms again. Without opening her eyes, she rolled over to where the mattress dipped next to her and found him. Sighing with content, she pressed herself against his chest. 

He wrapped an arm around her, stifling a groan at the weight of her on him. His throat was sore and not only did he feel sick, but his abs ached from last night's retching. 

"Mornin'." He rasped, closing his eyes again. 

The hairs on the back of her neck stuck up. “Mmm, morning. How’re you feeling?”

"Like shit."

“Teenaged hangover?”

He groaned. "More like mid thirties hangover. Ugh."

“We can stay here.” She said. “I’ll look after you.”

"Thank you." He mumbled. "Sorry 'bout last night."

“You didn’t do anything wrong. You were cute.”

"Hardly."

“You were really cute. Even when you couldn’t get your shirt off.”

He flushed red. "The buttons were fiddly." He mumbled quietly.

“I know. But you were very cute, and it feels nice that you were so relaxed. I know it was a big deal for you.”

"Really shouldn't have had as much to drink as I did. Forgot I've basically been sober for a couple of years."

“Too late now.” She teased. 

"Unfortunately."

“But you’ll recover. There’s some water on the side.”

"Thanks." He murmured. "I've not had a hangover like this since uni, fuck."

“I’m trying not to laugh at you.”

"Rude."

“You’re gonna stay in bed all day, aren’t you?”

"Yeah, probably."

“You should shower,” she suggested, “you’ll feel better.”

“I don’t wanna move.” He whined.

“In a bit, not right now.”

“Okay.”

She lifted her head to look at him. “I really enjoyed last night.”

“So did I, for the most part.”

She smiled. "Thank you for treating me like that.”

“Thank Henri.”

"Was your decision.”

“Mm, I guess.”

"We should do it again.”

“Mmm, but less wine.”

Ely hummed, smiling and brushing his hair from his face. “Definitely."

“Tonight we should order in.”

"Definitely. And maybe tomorrow I'll cook.”

“Yeah, we should buy some groceries.”

"Tomorrow, when you're not feeling like shit. We could have a look around, take our time." She suggested.

“Mmm, yeah.”

"The villages looked nice.”

“Mmmhmm.” He hummed. “‘m hungry.”

"Want me to get you something?”

“No, I feel sick.”

"Don't complain that you're hungry, then.”

“But I am.” He whined. “I jus’ still feel kinda sick. My throat hurts, too.”

"Have some water.”

He huffed and reached out for the water, taking some careful sips and wrinkling his nose. “Ugh, used to do placements with a hangover. Now I can’t even think straight.”

"Good job you're not working then, eh?" She teased, and brushed her lips over the hollow of his neck. 

He shivered, letting out a shuddered breath. "Yeah. Good job."

“Though I’ve turned nurse.” She commented. "Or maybe a servant. I'm at your beck and call.”

“Hardly.”

"Oh, I so am. I want to help you, so whatever it is, let me know and I'll do it.”

“Take away my hangover.” He grumbled.

"Well, I'm not magic. But if you shower and have some toast, that might help. You could take some paracetamol.”

“That all involves moving.”

"I promise you'll feel better.”

He huffed. “Don’t care."

"Well, I'm gonna go soon enough. I need to let Arrow out.”

“But he’s giving me love.” Fao whined. The dog was pressed up against him, chocolate eyes half open.

"And he'll need the loo soon. Do you really want him to piss on you?" She teased.

“No, but he’s comfy and so am I.”

"He still needs to go out.”

“Fine.”

She peeled herself away from him and clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. Arrow stirred, lifting his head, and she lead him to the door and slipped his lead on to take him out. He was good and went to the toilet straight away, so she wasn't too long. She let him off again, and slipped back into bed.

"All done." She murmured.

Fao shivered. “You’re cold now."

"Warm me up, then.”

“But ‘m cold too.” He whined.

"No you're not. You're really warm.”

“Feel cold.”

She pressed her feet against his shins. "And now?”

He yelped. “That’s cold!”

"Surely it's not that bad!”

“It is!” He whined.

"Stop me, then.”

“Moving makes me feel sick.”

"I know." She said, and moved her feet away. "I'll warm up soon.”

He grinned. “Good.”

"I'm in a warm bed with a human radiator.”

“A cold human radiator.”

“You don’t feel cold to me.”

“I feel cold.”

She pressed up to his side. “You’re not.”

“Feel shitty.” He replied.

“I know. It’ll pass.”

He whined, curling up into a smaller ball. “Fed up.“

“I know.” She repeated. 

"You can get up if you want. Go be a f-functioning human."

Ely frowned. “What’s wrong?”

"Jus' tired."

"You sound upset."

"Only because I feel shitty. Henri would always hate staying in bed with me."

"Well, I'm not Henri." She pointed out. "I want to stay in bed with you."

"I know. Brain doesn't always catch up. You're still welcome to get up if you want to, though."

"And if I don't want to?"

"Then I'm not gonna complain."

She leaned up to kiss his jaw. “Good. I’m happy and I’m comfortable.”

"Okay then."

“Am I warm enough for you now?”

"Yeah. Keeping me warm."

She laughed. “You’re plenty warm anyway.”

“I guess I am."

“Must be because you’re Irish.”

“Maybe.”

She shifted a little. “I might go get some groceries today.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. We don’t have any snacks.”

“Mmm, I can’t drive though.”

She shrugged. “I’ll get a taxi. You can stay here and rest.”

“There’s cash in my wallet.” He mumbled.

“I know. Henri’s money.” She replied. “You look like you’re gonna fall asleep.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s okay. I’m gonna shower.”

“‘kay.”

“I’m sure I stink.” She joked, and pressed another kiss to the line of his jaw. 

He smiled. “You don’t. Imma sleep.” His eyes were already closed.

Ely hummed, and once he’d drifted off she slipped out of the bed again. She showered slowly, enjoying the heat of the water, and then carefully dressed. She was sure to be quiet - she didn’t want to wake him, he needed his rest. It was then she called a taxi to the nearest town, deciding to stop in a local cafe for some breakfast before she shopped. 

He fell asleep almost immediately, the dog snuggled up next to him. He definitely helped, and he barely heard Ely leave, already lost to sleep.

He woke a bit later when the dog rolled over and kicked him in the stomach. Unable to get back to sleep after that, he lay awake staring at the ceiling of the cabin, thinking about Ely. He wanted to take things further, to see if she felt the same, but he was terrified of screwing it up, of her getting angry or upset. He didn't know what to do, so he called Alex. She always knew what to do. 

Alex answered after two rings. "Fao? You should be enjoying your time away."

"I am, I swear." He said thickly. "I'm really fucking hungover. Anyway, I need your advice."

"If it's 'how to get rid of a hangover' I have nothing."

"No, I'm getting there with that one. It's Ely."

Alex frowned. "What about her?"

"I really like her. Well, I think I do. I want to see if we could work something out, try a relationship, but I'm scared I'm going to fuck up. She's probably not even into me."

She had to bit back a laugh. "Fao, she's besotted with you. You're not going to fuck it up, she's been pining after you for months.”

“You’re sure? God, I feel such a tit! I’m terrified of saying anything to her, what if she’s not ready to deal with how royally fucked I am?”

"If she wasn't ready she wouldn't be sleeping in your bed, would she? She wants it.”

“That’s different. We just share a bed, not anything else. I don’t even know if I’m ready for a relationship, ‘Lex.”

"Then don't do anything. You don't want to push yourself if you're not ready.”

“But what if I never do anything and regret it? I was so miserable when she left and having her back is perfect. But she can’t be expected to stay living like this for ages, just her life on pause living in my stupid house with me.”

"She hasn't put her life on pause," Alex said softly, "she loves you, so she's willing to wait for you.”

“You don’t know that. God, I can’t do anything about this, can I? She’s gonna hate me.”

"I know that because she told me. She was tipsy and curled up under a blanket on the sofa, but she told me she loved you." Was the reply, gentle and soothing. "She would never hate you. You'll know when you're ready.”

“God, I’m just daft and hungover."

"I won't deny that. But my point still stands, you'll know when you're ready.”

“Thank you, ‘Lex. I’ve just not had a proper relationship since you, and…”

"I know. I'm always here, you know that.”

“God, you’re the best. Wish we’d never ended things, you know.”

"I know. We were good together.”

“I know we fought, but Henri… I’d have taken our arguments any day.”

She sighed over the phone. "Every couple fights. I know you don't want to upset Ely, but she really is happy to wait.”

“I guess I’ll talk to her. I’m shit at this stuff, thank you. You always tell me the truth.”

"I try my best. She sees the best in you.”

He smiled, though she couldn’t see. “God knows how.”

"It's easy. Good luck, not that you need it, yeah?”

“Yeah, thanks ‘Lex. You make it look so easy with Chris.”

"Chris is a horny bastard, it helps.”

“Nothing to do with you being a horny bastard, then?”

She laughed. "Definitely not!”

“Of course, of course. It’s all him, you’re powerless to resist.”

"Well, have you seen him?" She asked. "You can hardly blame me.”

“Of course I’ve seen him, he’s my registrar. You’re such a cougar.”

Alex burst out laughing. "I'm not that old!”

“He’s still younger than me. I’ve gotta go, though. Think Ely will be back soon.”

"Mmm, alright. You'll be fine.”

“I’ll text you, yeah?”

"You better. I want details.”

“You’ll get them. Nothing juicy, though. You, uh, you know what Henri did to me.”

"I do.”

“Take care, ‘Lex.” He murmured, and hung up.

Before Ely got back home, he got up and forced himself into the shower. He was a bit dizzy under the hot water, but it helped him feel better and once he was done he sat cross legged on the sofa, reading. She came back with food, which he ate a little of, and then ended up slobbing about feeling sorry for himself. 

The next day, he felt a lot better, and they spent the day walking the dog around the gorgeous countryside. That evening, he found himself stretched out in the hot tub, watching the sunset.

“Ely? You gonna come join me?”

"Let me find something to wear!" She called back.

“I’m lonely!” He whined.

"I can't come in in my underwear, can I?”

“No, but hurry up!”

Ely laughed, finding a bikini set in the bottom of her suitcase. It was brand new, a navy and turquoise pattern of flowers with a leopard print trim. The bottoms had a leopard on them, too. They were gorgeous, and she secretly hoped Fao would like them.

Once changed, she hurried over to the hot tub and climbed in. 

"There, you have company now.”

He put his arm around her, humming. “Good.”

"Just didn't want to get my knickers wet.”

“Oh no?”

She slapped his arm playfully. "Don't be dirty!”

“You started it!”

"I didn't mean it like that!”

“Yeah, yeah.” He teased. “You’re here now.”

"I am. And the sunset is really pretty.”

“Like you, then.”

She blushed. "Flattery will get you everywhere.”

The hand around her shoulders traced patterns on her skin. “I know.”

Ely shivered. "Where are you trying to get to?”

“This.” Fao breathed, moving closer and tilting his head to kiss her.

She was surprised, and shocked when his lips met her's. She kissed him back after a moment, slowly reaching her hands up to cup his face.

He smiled into the kiss, his heart still pounding, and pulled her closer, his hands drifting down to her waist.

This was a big deal. A big deal. Her chest was aching for air as she was pulled up against his. It was solid muscle, warm against her, and her fingers drifted a little upwards to tangle in his hair. Alex had forever been saying she was sure something would happen, but this? She'd never expected him to make the first move. She hadn't even been sure he was ready.

He eventually had to pull away, chest heaving. “God, I…"

She stared up at him. "I didn't know you... You felt that way.”

“I didn’t think I did either, but… When you left I realised there was something else there, more than just being your friend. I had to see if anything would happen, I had to try. I can’t go fast, or promise you anything, but…”

She cupped his cheek in her hand. "Don't worry about that. I'm happy to go at your pace.”

He smiled. “Thank you.”

"I know this is a big deal for you.”

“Yeah. But I wanna try. I trust you.”

"I trust you too.”

“I just… need to go slow. I hope you get that.”

"Of course I do." She murmured. "You call the shots.”

“Thank you.”

"I want you to be comfortable and happy.”

“I trust you. And I promise I’ll tell you whenever I'm not comfortable.”

She smiled. "Okay. I always want what's best for you."


End file.
